Yes, MM Do Leave their Wives. Read This Story....

[cocorico]

So in the event that an OW would one day want to have a monogamous relationship with her MM she may very well become a wife to the MM. A wife is a spouse who may or may not be betrayed. If past behavior can be an indicator for future behavior, OWs may not want to celebrate. They may become the dreaded BS themselves. Oh wait, they would be the exception. He wouldn't dream of deceiving them.

 

Sometimes the BW is the exception, and the man in all his Rs over the decades is the very model of fidelity and commitment, until one lapse under extreme circumstances, whereafter he returns to his ground state.

 

There are many possibilities. I just love how people always only consider the one that supports their own agenda.

[Journee]

Sometimes the BW is the exception, and the man in all his Rs over the decades is the very model of fidelity and commitment, until one lapse under extreme circumstances, whereafter he returns to his ground state.

 

There are many possibilities. I just love how people always only consider the one that supports their own agenda.

 

This post isn't about a man that is faithful. It isn't about a man that had a lapse in judgment just once. It isn't about a man choosing his wife. Nor was he given that opportunity. So what agenda is their to support here?

[SidLyon]

Sometimes the BW is the exception, and the man in all his Rs over the decades is the very model of fidelity and commitment, until one lapse under extreme circumstances, whereafter he returns to his ground state.

 

There are many possibilities. I just love how people always only consider the one that supports their own agenda.

 

True.

 

There are also men who start off all their marriages with infidelity, either with a woman cheating on her H or by cheating on their current W. Not a good basis for a marriage I would have thought.

[obladi]

You didn't leave. Your GF let your wife know that you were cheating on her to force a DDay.

 

That's not exactly you leaving your wife for your girlfriend. That's the girlfriend upping the ante to knock you off a fence and make your wife angry.

 

Big difference.

 

hey im just sayin it worked out for us in the end. Ya it was do to my gf doing what I didnt thats why I love her u know? but we re ok now ok.

[Stellar Wench]

you have it in you to be that type of OW, take the gamble, and you may end up the lucky winner.

For all the OW who claim to be empowered and independent, they always seem to set the bar so very, very low.

[Luckyluss]

Interesting to see how the reactions from fellow LS'rs range from outrage to anger to incredulous to everything in between.

 

But here's the reality: there are several people in this story who are happy either for the wrong or right reasons. But as far as they are concerned, they got what they wanted.

 

Many OW here on LS - once again, whether they are right or wrong- would love nothing more than marrying their AP one day, and would consider this a happy ending. After all, why so much heartbreak? Some people are at the end of thier marriage but don't know how to get out. They may not have the guts, and are waiting for a push.

 

All this happens, whether we like it or not. We are all adults, we make our choices about our partners and evaluate our chances for future happiness.

In an ideal world, no one would cheat, there would be no affairs (and no forum such as this one), everyone would do the right thing and take a break before proceeding on to the next relationship. Reality is messier than our wishes, or our ideals.

 

I also believe that once a cheater, always a cheater (in most cases but there could be exceptions) but they are some women who are OK with that. I wasn't ok with that, so no matter how much I was into him at the time, I left.

 

There is a happy ending for me who chose another path, and one for him, and one for that woman he married. We can dispute the way it got there, but we cannot dispute the outcome.

[Decorative]

Interesting to see how the reactions from fellow LS'rs range from outrage to anger to incredulous to everything in between.

 

But here's the reality: there are several people in this story who are happy either for the wrong or right reasons. But as far as they are concerned, they got what they wanted.

 

Many OW here on LS - once again, whether they are right or wrong- would love nothing more than marrying their AP one day, and would consider this a happy ending. After all, why so much heartbreak? Some people are at the end of thier marriage but don't know how to get out. They may not have the guts, and are waiting for a push.

 

All this happens, whether we like it or not. We are all adults, we make our choices about our partners and evaluate our chances for future happiness.

In an ideal world, no one would cheat, there would be no affairs (and no forum such as this one), everyone would do the right thing and take a break before proceeding on to the next relationship. Reality is messier than our wishes, or our ideals.

 

I also believe that once a cheater, always a cheater (in most cases but there could be exceptions) but they are some women who are OK with that. I wasn't ok with that, so no matter how much I was into him at the time, I left.

 

There is a happy ending for me who chose another path, and one for him, and one for that woman he married. We can dispute the way it got there, but we cannot dispute the outcome.

 

It's not anger.

 

It's a correction.

 

Your thread title is anything but accurate. And only an unhealthy person would classify the outcome of the second ( that we know of) other woman getting the wife's sloppy seconds after she booted him.

 

So maybe classify the reactions as "healthy and realistic" versus " deluded and compensating".

[MissBee]

Interesting to see how the reactions from fellow LS'rs range from outrage to anger to incredulous to everything in between.

 

But here's the reality: there are several people in this story who are happy either for the wrong or right reasons. But as far as they are concerned, they got what they wanted.

 

Many OW here on LS - once again, whether they are right or wrong- would love nothing more than marrying their AP one day, and would consider this a happy ending. After all, why so much heartbreak? Some people are at the end of thier marriage but don't know how to get out. They may not have the guts, and are waiting for a push.

 

All this happens, whether we like it or not. We are all adults, we make our choices about our partners and evaluate our chances for future happiness.

In an ideal world, no one would cheat, there would be no affairs (and no forum such as this one), everyone would do the right thing and take a break before proceeding on to the next relationship. Reality is messier than our wishes, or our ideals.

 

I also believe that once a cheater, always a cheater (in most cases but there could be exceptions) but they are some women who are OK with that. I wasn't ok with that, so no matter how much I was into him at the time, I left.

There is a happy ending for me who chose another path, and one for him, and one for that woman he married. We can dispute the way it got there, but we cannot dispute the outcome.

 

I think we can dispute the outcome though in terms of happiness.

 

Unless they both keel over tomorrow, we have no idea if it's a "happy ending", it could be the beginning of a very tumultuous M for them. Even without them keeling over...have you personally spoken to her or him about how they feel? You don't know if they are indeed happy. You're just speculating based on what you heard/saw. But who knows what doubts, fears, etc. she/he feels behind closed doors.

 

I already responded earlier in the thread and one of my comments was that one cannot really observe another's relationship from the outside and necessarily know if the couple is happy or not. Yes we can look at a couple and generally see if they seem happy or unhappy, but it's not the full picture. I can be mad at my bf today so seeing us out we'd not seem very lovey-dovey and then we make up and tomorrow we're hand in hand and all smiles. Even then...no one, unless they know us personally and have asked me or him about 'us', can tell the state of our relationship. So the point I would dispute is that you can know as an outside observer if they feel the ending is happy for them. Maybe she and he feel that way? I don't know...but it's an odd story because I assume you two are no longer friends, so how can you say how she feels or how he feels. I agree about your happy ending, because you're the one who is telling us...but the happy ending of a third party you've observed but aren't close to anymore...well that can't be determined.

[thefooloftheyear]

I think its absolutely pointless speculating if this is a happy ending or not. The reality is that its a very disctinct possibility that even though the guy in this case has gone to hell and back, frankly he might be very happy in spite of all of the bs..Could he be miserable, too? Sure...

 

Without HIS opinion/commentary, its all just pure speculation...

 

.02

 

TFOY

[woinlove]

Luckylass, who knows how happy they are or will be. Maybe he has really changed. Maybe he has only changed partners. If anyone wants to use this as a "there is hope" message, they would be wise get a first hand account and then compare the details and personalities to those of their own situation.

 

What is important is that you are happy now. And that good fact does not rely on whether xMM has learned to be a good partner in a fulfilling and enduring committed R or not. Lucky you! Enjoy.

 

As to your comment about reality not matching your wishes/ideals: What is so great is that we have a lot of control over our reality when it comes to things like honesty, loyalty, kindness, respect for ourselves and others. We can do much to make our reality match up with our wishes. Don't give up on that and think you need to involve yourself in things that don't match up with your wishes and ideals.

Edited February 1, 2013 by woinlove

[jwi71]

But here's the reality: there are several people in this story who are happy either for the wrong or right reasons. But as far as they are concerned, they got what they wanted.

 

What are the wrong reasons to be happy? The right ones?

I can't wrap my head around that.

 

In an ideal world, no one would cheat, there would be no affairs (and no forum such as this one), everyone would do the right thing and take a break before proceeding on to the next relationship. Reality is messier than our wishes, or our ideals.

 

I would say if we, collectively as a species or even as individuals, wanted this ideal world with no cheating (et al) - we could have it. If we only choose it.

 

I always thought life was what WE made of it.

 

There is a happy ending for me who chose another path, and one for him, and one for that woman he married. We can dispute the way it got there, but we cannot dispute the outcome.

 

Lets not forget the BS...and let us hope she too got her happy ending.

 

But I am unsure how this is a positive message for OW...

 

You waited, had your hopes destroyed repeatedly - waited patiently, cajoled and so on and so forth - and he didn't deliver. So you left. And posted here - and lets face it, you weren't in a good place then.

 

I'm not sure I can condone a message...wait for him and maybe you get lucky.

 

That does not sound healthy.

[MissBee]

I think its absolutely pointless speculating if this is a happy ending or not. The reality is that its a very disctinct possibility that even though the guy in this case has gone to hell and back, frankly he might be very happy in spite of all of the bs..Could he be miserable, too? Sure...

 

Without HIS opinion/commentary, its all just pure speculation...

 

.02

 

TFOY

 

This is my point.

 

They could be happy or not...but certainly the OP, if she isn't friends with exMM or friends with his now W, like us, can only speculate about whether or not this is indeed a "happy ending". If it isn't your story...then it doesn't serve as a good example of a happy ending..as without the full details, it's a very incomplete picture. I expected the story to be about Luckyluss or at the very least, for it to seem like she knew firsthand...but because it's hearing through the grapevine it's not convincing as a happy ending, because it's merely based on a superficial observation that may or may not be accurate.

Edited February 1, 2013 by MissBee