Consolidated discussion - "Leagues"

[Weezy1973]

I recall a relevant study from a few years back, discussed here: Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men | LiveScience

 

 

The study was published in the Journal of Family Psychology, a peer-reviewed academic journal.

 

Thoughts?

 

Most of the couples I see are about even in physical attractiveness. I think sometimes the woman is seen as more attractive mostly due to the increased level of time/work/money most women put into their physical appearance (makeup, push up bras, coloured hair, clothes that accentuate the positives etc). I think for the vast majority of couples if you do the "naked out of the shower" (i.e. both members of the couple are naked, no makeup, hair not done up, etc.) test, you would see they are very even.

[Southern Cal Dude]

I recall a relevant study from a few years back, discussed here: Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men | LiveScience

 

 

The study was published in the Journal of Family Psychology, a peer-reviewed academic journal.

 

Thoughts?

 

 

I'm screwed then.

[MrCastle]

I recall a relevant study from a few years back, discussed here: Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men | LiveScience

 

 

The study was published in the Journal of Family Psychology, a peer-reviewed academic journal.

 

Thoughts?

 

Insecurity comes to mind.

 

Generalizations but the way I see it:

 

When she's hotter than him: "He won't leave me. He has it good. I trust him."

 

When he's hotter than her: "Uh oh. He has all these women looking at him. What if he gets tempted? What do I do?"

 

All and all though, I think it's bs. People get together with who they like -- as a total package. Looks and otherwise. You can't measure that.

[tbf]

I recall a relevant study from a few years back, discussed here: Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men | LiveScience

 

 

The study was published in the Journal of Family Psychology, a peer-reviewed academic journal.

 

Thoughts?

The same researcher McNulty, has another more recent study that focuses on why marriages are better if the wife's thinner than the husband.

 

http://web.utk.edu/~jmcnulty/McNulty/Papers_files/Meltzer_et%20al_2011.pdf

 

Anyone else smell the bias?

[Sunshine87]

If they know they're way better looking than the guy, that means he'll consider himself privileged and so he'll put her on a pedestal and not entertain the thought of cheating. Do some women have this in mind when they date guys below their league?

 

I didn't read the replies but maybe they date such guys because they treat them better. As women get older, they begin to better understand what they want/ won't tolerate. They respond to nice behaviour. Maybe these guys treat them better than the very good looking guys.

[Ruby Slippers]

The same researcher McNulty, has another more recent study that focuses on why marriages are better if the wife's thinner than the husband.

 

http://web.utk.edu/~jmcnulty/McNulty/Papers_files/Meltzer_et%20al_2011.pdf

 

Anyone else smell the bias?

Wow, interesting!

 

Looks like any joker with a degree can get their study published

[tbf]

Wow, interesting!

 

Looks like any joker with a degree can get their study published

This is why it's best to source the original studies than rely on articles written through interpretative and creative journalism.

[hppr]

If they know they're way better looking than the guy, that means he'll consider himself privileged and so he'll put her on a pedestal and not entertain the thought of cheating. Do some women have this in mind when they date guys below their league?

 

It's not really about dating below their league so much as realizing that men and women have different standards for attraction and that they place value different things.

 

Also most women think they are a lot hotter than they are.

 

Really, those 'cute' girls who 'lower' themselves to date those men are very average they are just too egocentric to realize that.

[New User]

It's not really about dating below their league so much as realizing that men and women have different standards for attraction and that they place value different things.

 

Also most women think they are a lot hotter than they are.

Really, those 'cute' girls who 'lower' themselves to date those men are very average they are just too egocentric to realize that.

 

My experience has been the exact opposite of this- God only knows how many beautiful girls I have met who thought that they were unattractive.

[hppr]

I didn't read the replies but maybe they date such guys because they treat them better. As women get older, they begin to better understand what they want/ won't tolerate. They respond to nice behaviour. Maybe these guys treat them better than the very good looking guys.

 

...and maybe those guys are also more ambitious, humorous, better providers, wealthier, more intelligent, whatever...

 

Dating isn't all about looks. Looks help but it is just a factor not a be-all, end-all.

[hppr]

My experience has been the exact opposite of this- God only knows how many beautiful girls I have met who thought that they were unattractive.

 

If you step back you'll realize a lot of that is all in the eye of the beholder.

 

Next time you meet one of these mythical 'beautiful women who think they are ugly' ask yourself honestly how many women you've seen in the past several months who are also very pretty.

 

Odds are you've seen plenty...or you aren't looking hard enough.

 

That is what I am getting at.

 

Beauty is common. There are pretty girls everywhere.

 

And pretty girls are honestly pretty average.

[MrRightNow]

My mom is always telling my younger sister not to marry a handsome guy because they're more likely to cheat. I don't agree though. I think whether or not a man will cheat has more to do with his character and morals than his looks. And obviously, the quality of the relationship is also a major factor. I know ugly and average looking guys who cheat on their wives/gf all the time, and I know MANY good-looking guys who have never cheated on a SO.

[New User]

If you step back you'll realize a lot of that is all in the eye of the beholder.

 

Next time you meet one of these mythical 'beautiful women who think they are ugly' ask yourself honestly how many women you've seen in the past several months who are also very pretty.

 

Odds are you've seen plenty...or you aren't looking hard enough.

 

That is what I am getting at.

 

Beauty is common. There are pretty girls everywhere.

 

And pretty girls are honestly pretty average.

 

Trust me, I look hard..... er.... anyway- I'm talking about women that I considered beautiful, that my friends considered beautiful, that I got to know well- the large majority of them were very insecure about their looks. Obviously I know nothing about what women who are beautiful but I haven't talked to think about their level of attractiveness. And yes, there are pretty girls everywhere.

[Southern Cal Dude]

My mom is always telling my younger sister not to marry a handsome guy because they're more likely to cheat. I don't agree though. I think whether or not a man will cheat has more to do with his character and morals than his looks. And obviously, the quality of the relationship is also a major factor. I know ugly and average looking guys who cheat on their wives/gf all the time, and I know MANY good-looking guys who have never cheated on a SO.

 

 

Cheating is a character issue, not a good looking guy issue.

[Phoe]

 

Beauty is common. There are pretty girls everywhere.

 

And pretty girls are honestly pretty average.

 

This is what I think as well.

 

 

I don't mean it in any kind of negative or bad way, it's a good thing!

 

 

I find that most of the women I see on a day to day basis are pretty. I don't see many people that I think are ugly.

[mortensorchid]

I used to have this opinion once, that women choose men out of their league because they know they are better than those at or above their levels, but no longer. This is going to sound very bitter of me, but I have determined that there are no answers anymore. Doesn't matter who or what you are about - defy someone they call you crazy, do what you're told they tell you you see everything in black and white and you're STILL crazy. We all say that we want a drama free relationship, but we walk away because we're bored as hell.

 

Life is complicated.

[tbf]

We all say that we want a drama free relationship, but we walk away because we're bored as hell.

 

Life is complicated.

No, this would be you, not we.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I wouldn't say it's strategic so much as low self-esteem.

[Revolver]

This is true tho. A less attractive guy is more safe

 

Especially when he's WAAAAAAY out of his league in comparison to the girl he's dating.

[MrRightNow]

A less attractive guy is more safe

 

How so? If he's well-off, he shouldn't have too much of a problem finding a mistress. And if he isn't, he could still mess around with fat/ugly women or prostitutes. A person's character determines whether or not they will remain loyal, looks have nothing to do with it.

[William]

Moved to consolidated discussion thread. Also, due to a couple of banned members, did some editing/deletion.

Edited August 6, 2013 by William

[hppr]

This is true tho. A less attractive guy is more safe

 

Especially when he's WAAAAAAY out of his league in comparison to the girl he's dating.

 

I would say that is true to a certain extent.

 

The 'hot' girl who is 'lowering' herself to date a 'regular looking' guy is actually getting the much better bargain because there are other things you cannot see right off which factor in.

 

Also like I said earlier our society places a premium on female beauty and the side effect is that most men think they are uglier than they are.

 

Therefore, that hot girl who is lowering herself to date the fuggo guy is usually just an average, or a bit above average, lady who is dating an average guy.

[123321]

In my opinion, my GF is way out of my league. She's much younger, prettier, and has a sweet personality. She's interesting to be around, and draws looks from guys everywhere we go out in mixed company.

 

She insists she wants to be with me.

 

So maybe women evaluate men differently than men evaluate women.

[Negative Nancy]

I recall a relevant study from a few years back, discussed here: Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men | LiveScience

 

 

The study was published in the Journal of Family Psychology, a peer-reviewed academic journal.

 

Thoughts?

 

Yes.

 

All that this study proves is that men treat hot women better, that's why it's "conducive" to a woman's happiness if she marries a guy below her. Men don't treat average women as good as they treat hot women.

[Negative Nancy]

When she's hotter than him: "He won't leave me. He has it good. I trust him."

 

When he's hotter than her: "Uh oh. He has all these women looking at him. What if he gets tempted? What do I do?"

 

Reading comprehension clearly isn't your strength.

 

The outcome of the study has nothing to do with how the WOMAN sees it. The way you worded it makes it sound like the woman feels like the man should be grateful that she as the better looking part "settled" for him.

 

This isn't the case at all.

 

What the outcome of the study really implies is that men - as we all know - are so shallow in their visual preferences that a woman is only safe in terms of good treatment, his fidelity etc. IF she is hot (or better looking to than him).

 

The study unfortunately says more about men than women.