ascendotum Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 From my conversations with men, it seems looks and career are where they feel they are settling with looks being cited more than career (in DC, alot of people have good careers and are obsessed with them so it attracts alot of people like that) Its easier to find a girl with a decent career more than a girl who is hotter than them I guess. Yes, these men deemed these women werent worthy of commitment because their looks werent out of their league and they thought they could do better...I am asking why some men think this way? Within their own league isnt good enough? I didnt say ALL men to the other poster. Okay, so are these guys are staying single then or only have FWBs or go through a cycle of dumping their gfs after 6mths or whatever? Its hard to tell if this is their nature or a phase they are going through where they are not looking for commitment...unless they suddenly do commit to a women...and if the woman is happy to settle down with them, then it could be argued he is her league. imo with women its somewhat easier to tell if they are hanging out for guys above her league, because its more sex & fun motivated and the good looking guys will only have them for ONS/FWBs/flings/STRs.
kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Okay, so are these guys are staying single then or only have FWBs or go through a cycle of dumping their gfs after 6mths or whatever? Its hard to tell if this is their nature or a phase they are going through where they are not looking for commitment...unless they suddenly do commit to a women...and if the woman is happy to settle down with them, then it could be argued he is her league. imo with women its somewhat easier to tell if they are hanging out for guys above her league, because its more sex & fun motivated and the good looking guys will only have them for ONS/FWBs/flings/STRs. No, these women are IN their league. Not below. But thats not good enough for these men. Again I am in my mid 20's and live near DC so maybes it my area
xxoo Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 and if the woman is happy to settle down with them, then it could be argued he is her league. How better is a "league" defined than mutual desire to be together? 1
Soxfaninfl Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I dont see this with women most of the time but I do alot with men. (However, Im not saying ALL men do this...but over half of the men I know only want to commit to a woman hotter than them) Background: I live just outside of Washington DC and most men here expect a potential girlfriend to have a good career AND to be better looking than him. No, I am not a Type A personality (at least, outside of work Im not) but alot of people here are. Kimberly, I never date women out of my league. I tend to date average girls that are down to earth. It's what I like. 1
RedRobin Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 OP, the DC area has many more single women than single men. Move to a metro area with a better demographic mix. Same thing happens in NYC... and unfortunately, a lot of major metro areas on the East Coast. I did some digging on this not long ago. If you want to have the odds better skewed in your favor, head over to the West coast... or the West in general (Denver and Boulder, CO have more men than women) or Austin, TX. Just a few places I've checked out that are MUCH better for women. You'll see this if you surf OKC in those areas. Lots of attractive, considerate men there. Or appears that way anyway As for me, I unfortunately live on the East Coast and have been trying to extricate myself from the quicksand that is this dreadful economy. I won't take a major career hit just to move to a place with better guys... but I WILL move... and am steadily working towards that. (hence my tagline )
Sanitarium Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I don't have any clue what OP is talking about I've never found myself drawn to women out of my league. Hell I know that would make me feel very insecure...I would like somebody my equal or a little bit lower
123321 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 If they're settling down I guess she wasn't "out of his league" after all.
joystickd Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 OP, the DC area has many more single women than single men. Move to a metro area with a better demographic mix. Same thing happens in NYC... and unfortunately, a lot of major metro areas on the East Coast. I did some digging on this not long ago. If you want to have the odds better skewed in your favor, head over to the West coast... or the West in general (Denver and Boulder, CO have more men than women) or Austin, TX. Just a few places I've checked out that are MUCH better for women. You'll see this if you surf OKC in those areas. Lots of attractive, considerate men there. Or appears that way anyway As for me, I unfortunately live on the East Coast and have been trying to extricate myself from the quicksand that is this dreadful economy. I won't take a major career hit just to move to a place with better guys... but I WILL move... and am steadily working towards that. (hence my tagline ) More than likely just appears that way. The grass is always greener on the other side. The thing is you may still have a hard time because of the way the women are in that area.
StanMusial Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 OP, the DC area has many more single women than single men. Move to a metro area with a better demographic mix. Same thing happens in NYC... and unfortunately, a lot of major metro areas on the East Coast. I did some digging on this not long ago. If you want to have the odds better skewed in your favor, head over to the West coast... or the West in general (Denver and Boulder, CO have more men than women) or Austin, TX. Just a few places I've checked out that are MUCH better for women. You'll see this if you surf OKC in those areas. Lots of attractive, considerate men there. Or appears that way anyway As for me, I unfortunately live on the East Coast and have been trying to extricate myself from the quicksand that is this dreadful economy. I won't take a major career hit just to move to a place with better guys... but I WILL move... and am steadily working towards that. (hence my tagline ) You could move to Alaska. Where for women, the odds are good but the goods are odd. 3
kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 If they're settling down I guess she wasn't "out of his league" after all. I know very few guys that have settled below their league. I know very few guys who dont expect a guy OUT of their league as a girlfriend. That is the whole point of my thread
joystickd Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Since you complain about leagues. What is your league? What is it you want in a man?
Sanitarium Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I know very few guys that have settled below their league. I know very few guys who dont expect a guy OUT of their league as a girlfriend. That is the whole point of my thread I knew a guy at my old college who was 6'3, buff, extremely handsome and was dating a regular cute gal
xxoo Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I know very few guys that have settled below their league. I know very few guys who dont expect a guy OUT of their league as a girlfriend. That is the whole point of my thread Do the actual people in the relationship agree with your assessment of "leagues"? Women are marrying men. Regardless of what you think, those women think their man is a catch! Why don't you think they are?
ascendotum Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 With single people in their mid 20s, I am just wondering how can you differentiate between the 'hookup culture' and men holding out for a 'above his league glamor girl'. Personally I do think the hookup culture does distort some people's perception that they can settle down with one these men or that they can get something just as good for a wife later on or something as sexy as that fwb partner they had 3 yrs ago. A couple of young guys I work with have broken up with a number of gfs that were beautiful simply because for them the relationship had run its course. Its not because they were holding out for a better girl above their league (their exes I met were gorgeous + smart). It is more of a case of having more experiences before they settle down. They're good looking guys and it doesn't take them long to find a new pretty girl 'that will do for a while', so its not like they feel they have to hold on to this on. I feel this attitude is out there a fair bit. Maybe it snowballs because their other average looking friends see them go through numerous pretty women, and think asking for just 1 hot girl is not too much, because their friends have had so many.
kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Since you complain about leagues. What is your league? What is it you want in a man? I dont know what my league is exactly. I have been called a 7 or 8 (mind you, these arent my words. These are the words of men that like to use a scale to determine a woman's worth in terms of beauty) Id like someone who is -mentally stimulating. doesnt need to be super smart but needs to use their brain. men that do nothing but workout and watch sports bore me -leads a somewhat healthy lifestyle (i work hard for my body so i dont want someone who eats fast food alot and will tell me to not go to the gym) -who has some ambition (not meaning making a lot of money, just a job they like or if they dont like it they dont stick with it and bitch about it) -respects women/considerate -honest The last 2 is where Ive had issues. I find most men in my generation to be selfish and entitled. 1
Sanitarium Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I dont know what my league is exactly. I have been called a 7 or 8 (mind you, these arent my words. These are the words of men that like to use a scale to determine a woman's worth in terms of beauty) Id like someone who is -mentally stimulating. doesnt need to be super smart but needs to use their brain. men that do nothing but workout and watch sports bore me -leads a somewhat healthy lifestyle (i work hard for my body so i dont want someone who eats fast food alot and will tell me to not go to the gym) -who has some ambition (not meaning making a lot of money, just a job they like or if they dont like it they dont stick with it and bitch about it) -respects women/considerate -honest The last 2 is where Ive had issues. I find most men in my generation to be selfish and entitled. I would rate myself about an 8.5/10 and I would have no problem at all dating a "7/10", whatever the hell that means
joystickd Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I dont know what my league is exactly. I have been called a 7 or 8 (mind you, these arent my words. These are the words of men that like to use a scale to determine a woman's worth in terms of beauty) Id like someone who is -mentally stimulating. doesnt need to be super smart but needs to use their brain. men that do nothing but workout and watch sports bore me -leads a somewhat healthy lifestyle (i work hard for my body so i dont want someone who eats fast food alot and will tell me to not go to the gym) -who has some ambition (not meaning making a lot of money, just a job they like or if they dont like it they dont stick with it and bitch about it) -respects women/considerate -honest The last 2 is where Ive had issues. I find most men in my generation to be selfish and entitled. Ok not a tough list of things. Have you ever thought to be ambitious you have to be kind of selfish? Where do you look/meet for these men? The whole number system is very subjective. One man's 7 or 8 is another's 10.
StanMusial Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Do the actual people in the relationship agree with your assessment of "leagues"? Women are marrying men. Regardless of what you think, those women think their man is a catch! Why don't you think they are? It seems like these days, more than ever, for whatever reason, women are focusing on a man's looks. Even the 30 year old guy that lives in his parent's basement and rides a scooter to his job at Blockbuster is more of a "catch" because of his handsome facial structure. And yes, I know that guy. He never tried or gave a damn really because he was always neck deep in women. Whereas, the solid, intelligent guys developed a personality and a career and became successful. Maybe they aren't as good looking, but guess what? They are a catch.
joystickd Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 It seems like these days, more than ever, for whatever reason, women are focusing on a man's looks. Even the 30 year old guy that lives in his parent's basement and rides a scooter to his job at Blockbuster is more of a "catch" because of his handsome facial structure. And yes, I know that guy. He never tried or gave a damn really because he was always neck deep in women. Whereas, the solid, intelligent guys developed a personality and a career and became successful. Maybe they aren't as good looking, but guess what? They are a catch. That's the thing being "good on paper" doesn't make you a great catch. Everyone is looking for something different in a relationship partner.
123321 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I know very few guys that have settled below their league. I know very few guys who dont expect a guy OUT of their league as a girlfriend. That is the whole point of my thread So you have a bunch of male friends who are single and not dating, and who want to date but don't because no one attractive enough will date them?
Sanitarium Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 It seems like these days, more than ever, for whatever reason, women are focusing on a man's looks. Even the 30 year old guy that lives in his parent's basement and rides a scooter to his job at Blockbuster is more of a "catch" because of his handsome facial structure. And yes, I know that guy. He never tried or gave a damn really because he was always neck deep in women. Whereas, the solid, intelligent guys developed a personality and a career and became successful. Maybe they aren't as good looking, but guess what? They are a catch. A lot of guys with a good career think they are entitled to a woman who far more attractive than themselves. It doesn't work that way. If you are saying that there are good guys out there with a career and personality who can't get women as attractive as themselves...well then I think you are wrong
KathyM Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I know plenty of men who married women who were average or within their league. It's not based on looks alone. If a man finds someone they connect with and fall in love with, oftentimes they are willing to take the plunge. Most people who get married are average looking, and most couples are similar in level of attractiveness. While it may be true that men are more eager to commit if they are with someone they perceive as having it all, most committed couples are evenly matched, so I'd say your theory isn't really true. 2
kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Do the actual people in the relationship agree with your assessment of "leagues"? Women are marrying men. Regardless of what you think, those women think their man is a catch! Why don't you think they are? This thread is not about women. I date guys prob considered below my league looks-wise by other people but Im attracted to them nonetheless. My thread is about why men wont commit to a guy unless shes out of their league
kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 So you have a bunch of male friends who are single and not dating, and who want to date but don't because no one attractive enough will date them? Yes. But attractive enough means a woman out of their league. Im not exaggerating, I wish I was. They date a woman in their league but always hold out because they think they can do better
Revolver Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 You could ask the same exact question for women as well. But as for this thread, men generally commit to women who are similar to them in All areas(well most people in general do) so I disagree
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