Consolidated 'looks' discussion and society's standards of beauty for men vs women

January 31, 2013

Looks are important to me, I'm not gonna date some busted person that's just not happening I don't care if they are the nicest person on the earth it's just not happening. Actually I have to take that back because I met this guy on OKC and I was so uninterested because he was not hot at all but I added him on FB and he messaged me a few times and he was SUPER SUPER sweet. I would consider dating him because he is incredibly sweet and smart and funny.

Edited January 31, 2013 by ImperfectionisBeauty

January 31, 2013

I have a few questions for the posters here on Loveshack.

I never got the only go after the people you feel totally attracted to thing. I get that you should go after the people you are attracted to but aren't there different "levels" of attractiveness? Not just attractive and unattractive? If we all went for the people we find super attractive (yes I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder) only a small number of people will succeed as their is only a small number of super attractive people in the world. Instead of lowering physical standards how about broadening your horizons?

Also do you really need to be with someone you find absolutely physically attractive? Would it really bother you if the person you are dating didn't feel completely attracted to you?

I'm curious what are your personal physical standards in someone you'd want to date?

Now I do think its important to find someone you feel is at least somewhat attractive. For example for me most women I see have some level of physical attractiveness, of course there are some women I find far more attractive than others but its uncommon that I see a woman I find absolutely unattractive.

For instance today I talked to a seemingly nice girl she was quite thin (thin is neutral for me, fat is negative, and curvy is a positive:)) but her face wasn't attractive at all though it wasn't repulsive (something just seemed off about her face that I can't exactly explain). All in all since she seemed relatively nice and wasn't fat I thought she was somewhat physically attractive. She basically looked somewhat but not quite like this: http://img418.imageshack.us/img418/7494/sisters16yr.jpg

Now most people will probably say that doesn't look all that beautiful, and I'm not going to lie if a girl looked liked that she isn't exactly a "ten" in my eyes, but at the same time I'm not going to write her off completely and I'd probably be willing to date her if she seemed interested in me and had a lovely personality. This could be signs of possible desperation, but I still think only going after people you find absolutely attractive isn't the best thing to do as it severely limits your potential dating pool. Though then again in my case this hasn't exactly helped me to talk to girls that I have only a small level of attraction towards as I'm still rejected:( but I'm pretty sure it might help some other people.

Now I'm not saying you should go after people you find absolutely unattractive there has to be at least some tiny level of attraction.

January 31, 2013

I think you are wrong here. I think most men pass societal standards just fine. It’s not like 90% of men can be just kicked out of society for not passing a looks test. My perception is that societal standards tend to be excessively low in order to be more inclusive. Now my standards, they are much higher.

January 31, 2013

Lmaaoooooo@ that picture.

Holy..are u trying to kill me over here..i just peed my panties.

My standards are not too high..

All i really ask for is a perfect face, smooth even skintone, straight teeth.

i really cant deal with a big nose and big ears. Everything else i can look pass.

January 31, 2013

Now I'm not saying you should go after people you find absolutely unattractive there has to be at least some tiny level of attraction.

This right here. Whether it is a lot or a little, attraction must be there. Her personality has to take care of the rest after that.

That picture.:eek::eek::eek::eek:

January 31, 2013

"face bone struggle"

...

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

damn.

January 31, 2013

unwilling facef*ck recipient ?

January 31, 2013

I have a few questions for the posters here on Loveshack.

I never got the only go after the people you feel totally attracted to thing. I get that you should go after the people you are attracted to but aren't there different "levels" of attractiveness? Not just attractive and unattractive? If we all went for the people we find super attractive (yes I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder) only a small number of people will succeed as their is only a small number of super attractive people in the world. Instead of lowering physical standards how about broadening your horizons?

Also do you really need to be with someone you find absolutely physically attractive? Would it really bother you if the person you are dating didn't feel completely attracted to you?

I'm curious what are your personal physical standards in someone you'd want to date?

Now I do think its important to find someone you feel is at least somewhat attractive. For example for me most women I see have some level of physical attractiveness, of course there are some women I find far more attractive than others but its uncommon that I see a woman I find absolutely unattractive.

For instance today I talked to a seemingly nice girl she was quite thin (thin is neutral for me, fat is negative, and curvy is a positive:)) but her face wasn't attractive at all though it wasn't repulsive (something just seemed off about her face that I can't exactly explain). All in all since she seemed relatively nice and wasn't fat I thought she was somewhat physically attractive. She basically looked somewhat but not quite like this: http://img418.imageshack.us/img418/7494/sisters16yr.jpg

Now most people will probably say that doesn't look all that beautiful, and I'm not going to lie if a girl looked liked that she isn't exactly a "ten" in my eyes, but at the same time I'm not going to write her off completely and I'd probably be willing to date her if she seemed interested in me and had a lovely personality. This could be signs of possible desperation, but I still think only going after people you find absolutely attractive isn't the best thing to do as it severely limits your potential dating pool. Though then again in my case this hasn't exactly helped me to talk to girls that I have only a small level of attraction towards as I'm still rejected:( but I'm pretty sure it might help some other people.

Now I'm not saying you should go after people you find absolutely unattractive there has to be at least some tiny level of attraction.

I'm just like you. In fact, I pretty much could have written your post here. Is it because of desperation? I'm not sure. I've always been like this. Even in high school when my fate with women was still up in the air, I remember some of the other guys calling women dogs and pigs and I was thinking "Hey. She's pretty damn cute. I'd date her." Plus, some of the other guys who struggle here are a lot pickier than us.

I think your question has been covered before, possibly earlier today . Most people will no how/no way compromise their strict standards on looks.

I think a better question for you is "Did you ever think the fact that you're such a non-shallow guy would help you with women? That women would see that as a positive attribute?"

Because I did for the longest time. Now, I know that people just think it's weird at best and repulsive at worst to be non-picky with your physical requirements. What you learn from online forums.

Edited January 31, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember

January 31, 2013

Maybe if he weren't crossing his eyes like he's a zombie and maybe smiled.

aaah

i assumed that was you, mr necromang, and was thinking to myself "this guy's perfectly good-looking if he'd cut it out with that f*cking face"...

i think it is you...

January 31, 2013

are you/your avatar... bulgarian ?

ps. awesome bio in your profile

January 31, 2013

A face and a butt. The stuff that's inbetween those two areas is not a big deal in my world. Within reason.

January 31, 2013

No, we don't even look close. Different hair colour, hair style.

Why do you ask.. do you find him attractive?.

No, but he looks like the kind of guy you'd date.....

January 31, 2013

Lmaaoooooo@ that picture.
Holy..are u trying to kill me over here..i just peed my panties.

My standards are not too high..
All i really ask for is a perfect face, smooth even skintone, straight teeth.
i really cant deal with a big nose and big ears. Everything else i can look pass.

I don't know "perfect face" seems kinda high to me:laugh:

Anyway I was showing that picture to show the girl I was talking to looked sort of but not quite like that in appearance except the girl I was talking to had better teeth/smile.

January 31, 2013

Wait a sec...that's NOT Necromancer?

Coulda fooled me...

January 31, 2013

No fatties

January 31, 2013

People often get with people they wouldn't find attractive at first and not because they just reluctantly tried it out, hoping the personality would make up for it, but because they just naturally developed an attraction after getting to know them more. I think there's a difference between, "Meh, this person is okay. I'm going to just see how it goes and give them a chance," and, "Hm..this person is starting to look better..oh..now they are like the cutest thing ever..I know they have a big nose and such, but they really turn me on." I think the first scenario can lead to the second though in some cases, but the first sounds more depressing, like the person feels that they're settling and isn't really into their partner, whereas the second is genuine attraction.

January 31, 2013

As long as a guy has good hygiene, is not morbidly obese or a dwarf, and has all the right parts in the right places, he physically is acceptable for me.

January 31, 2013

Ugh.

Look, people that do not stand out for their physical beauty, get guys and girls wanting to be in a relatinship with them, and it is NOT a case of: guy meets girl, guy is not attracted, but thinks " oh well, I will give her a chance anyway, maybe her looks will grow on me"

Most people are not very good looking, and happen to fall for people they come across through work, hobbies, and college.

They do not think ANYTHING regarding their looks initially, because their looks are not compelling or remarkable.

Plenty of unattractive and plain people fall madly in love with other plain and unattractive people.

It is all about getting to know a person, and often special feelings occur.

.................................................................

...... The ONLY difference between average or unattractive people VS beautiful people, is that: the beauties attract romantic interest frm the outset, without revealing too much about their character.

Where as non beauties compell people to fall in love with them through spending time together....

...........................................................

I through my stadards out the window when I met my current guy. I was very thin back then, worked out daily, had a perfect body (curvy yet tiny in size, big butt) and the guys I hooked up with her body buildar and model types.

Then I met Andrew, and although I was not initially all that attracted to him, I soon started to see him as EXTREMELY good looking!

Now I realise he is quiet handsome, and that I had unreasonable standards!

I think more peole should lower their physical standards, if it is limiting their relationship prospects.

My partners best mate only dates thin tanned hot chicks. Because he can.

Most guys cannot get he hottest girls like he can, so they have different standards, yet can still fall qually in love with someone despite not having a beauty

......................................................................

I prefer to not be with men that are OMG WOW HOT to all women! I get he same level of love as a "hot", 6 pack guy, but I do not have to dea with the fact other women will be all over him.

I get him all to myself:D

he is good looking, but you know...

January 31, 2013

I think a better question for you is "Did you ever think the fact that you're such a non-shallow guy would help you with women? That women would see that as a positive attribute?"

I didn't think that would be seen as anything positive, but I thought it would increase my chances of a woman being attracted to me since I would have a larger dating pool.

Edited January 31, 2013 by Necris

January 31, 2013

Now most people will probably say that doesn't look all that beautiful, and I'm not going to lie if a girl looked liked that she isn't exactly a "ten" in my eyes, but at the same time I'm not going to write her off completely and I'd probably be willing to date her if she seemed interested in me and had a lovely personality. This could be signs of possible desperation, but I still think only going after people you find absolutely attractive isn't the best thing to do as it severely limits your potential dating pool.

It's not desperation at all!

If you get to know her, and like her, the small things that you find attractive about her may grow in importance, and become very attractive.

People laugh at that picture, but a girl who looks like the girls in that photo could easily have more luck in love than some of the people here

January 31, 2013

The most beautiful girl I've ever seen was deemed slightly above/average by my friends, so it can vary a lot between people.

I think what I find attractive is really complicated, especially now. There's a large number of women I'd think are pretty, or hot, but there's something specific that just resonates with every fibre of my being.

January 31, 2013

I don't have a standard for breast size, as long as it's there(I prefer B36 really, but no standard). I like some-what a baby face. Hair must be shoulder length or greater(I love a woman's hair -- such a defining aspect of their womanly+Hood.)

Eyes: No color standard nor preference. Although, dark hazel is pretty -- it's evil to me.

I like a nice butt. I like a small, tight (you know.)

Smooth legs...Height of 5'2+

I like mixed girls...(my ex had all qualities I liked, including a silly lovable persona.)

Guess these aren't much a standard so...but meh.

January 31, 2013

would the world really be a better place if we were all equal in every single way, in attractiveness ,intelligence etc? It would be pretty boring, and a pretty uninteresting existence. Plus those things are subjective. Maybe you only suggested we were all the same attractiveness. So then we would choose mates solely on personality, intelligence etc? Well that can be argued to be shallow too, since most people can';t change those things, they're just who we are. If I required a partner who loved sci fi, and rejected everyone who didn't, wouldn't they feel a bit let down, and think I've got weird standards? Truth is, physical attraction is important for almost everybody, to some degree. It's not everything, but it is important. Our looks are part of who we are. Sure, it is unfair that some people who are ugly are not going to get as many people interested in them for a relationship as others, but there will almost always be someone who finds them attractive. Because as said, looks are subjective.

Nevertheless, it's the way the world works. Survival of the fittest. Maybe it is unfair, but millions of years of evolution has created this, and we aren't gonna change it any time soon.

January 31, 2013

In my opinion it's not that simple.

Women who are average looking get much more attention than average looking men.

When talking about the really ugly people, I think women have it worse as they can't make up for it with money or status like guys can.

At the really gorgeous end of the spectrum I think it's fairly equal.

By the way, since when do only early 20s people care about looks? I've never noticed this phenomenon.

January 31, 2013

Well, I like to think of myself as a pretty open minded sort of guy, but I am sorry I just would not be able to date either of those 2 chicks in that photo. If that makes me shallow, then by gum I'm shallow!

I place an emphasis on face over body. That alone rules out those girls. Body is important too. Some like Mr Castle prefer girls with big curves. I prefer slender girls.

However, everyone has their own definition of beauty. In high school I got a crush on this really small girl who had braces and curly hair. I thought she was really cute, but my friend said she disgusted him. I don't find his choice in women to appeal to me, but I didn't quite say it in those words to him.

Sign In

Consolidated 'looks' discussion and society's standards of beauty for men vs women

Recommended Posts

ImperfectionisBeauty

Necris

ImNotOliver

nessaaa

Pyro

RogerWallace111

RogerWallace111

JuneJulySeptember

RogerWallace111

RogerWallace111

MrCastle

TaraMaiden

Necris

KungFuJoe

Bito

LadyChatterley

Phoe

Leigh 87

Necris

xxoo

Granin

Toddbt12y1

amolya

lino

Eclypse

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...