GB25 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Im not so sure they are getting back together. She and/or NA could both flake and this thing may crash and burn pretty quick once the reality of trying again sets in. I guess time will tell. I really hope not, seriously. I havent been extremely active in this thread but I have read all 130? pages. What I got from NA and im sure Simon, Cav, Chi, Suladas, and some others would agree is that we saw him as kind of our knuckle head little brother that we all want to help. Harmless, innocent, inexpereinced kid that we rooted for and that was unfairly treated by some skankazoid. NA you deserve better my friend. I think you're mind is made up but please be smart. 1
destroyed4sho Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Fellas we all can give NA the "dont go back to her" talk till we are blue in the face. The fact of the matter is, his mind is made up and this is what he has been waiting for. I mean cmon this thread is what? 130 pages long and the whole time he has been saying he just wants her to contact him and he misses her etc..well he got his wish and you think he is going to tell her thanks but no thanks..no chance. He should but he won't bc the pain was too intense without her. I know, we all know and most importantly he knows that she betrayed him, cheated on him, dumped him and humiliated him..but heres the rub...he doesnt give a F*ck. He says he cares but he just wants her back in his life so dam bad that all the ****t she did just doesnt matter. Either way I hope it works and she treats you right, you are a nice guy and all the advise in the world isnt going to stop you when youve wanted something for so long and you finally got it. Yes your totally right but it ISN'T healthy. He has low self esteem and this girl took advantage of that. He is going back for more humiliation. He needs more pain to stand up for himself. The good part about it is that he is young. He needs this experience as a reference for future relationships. Time is on his side, he is 18!!! .he is smart and will bounce back even if she hurts him again. I think even Na knows that relationship has a low chance of survival..he knows this....he is readig the posts..so he is aware and prepared. All we can do is give him the info, the reality..the rest is up to him and destiny.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Why shouldn't I let a train hit him? Am I my brother's keeper? He won't listen. Even if I told him I did these samethings -- look at me now? Yay! Really...let the train splatter his guts -- he will indeed learn...I learned. My ex came back to me probably close to ten times, I took her back. No LS no one but a couple crappy friends advise. Even though they gave it...I followed my love, and look at me now! I'm surprised I am not locked in a jacket. So yes....I know something too -- it won't sink in, till that train crashes into him. What do you do when they choose to stand in front of the train? I assure you...we cannot run and rescue him. All jokes aside; he's in for hell.I am an evil person myself, so why would I stop it? Words...don't matter when no one abides them. 1
suladas Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 So much drama lately! I am so excited to be single right now. Going to vegas on may 9 with a bunch of friends for a bachelor party. I figure with my luck my ex will come crawling back between now and then but f*ck that, I want to go to vegas single and hook up with 2 at least two hotties and have some fun My goal is 2 in 4 nights I think that is realistic! 2
Cognitive Miser Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Peep this fellas, I'm sure we would all agree that na is not as dumb as he may seem for succumbing to his evil, arrogant, obnoxious ex, right (or possibly not )? So than, why is he doing this? The answer is elementary my dear LSers. Na is curious. Curious to see what his exes true desires are. Curious to see if she really means what she says. Curious to see, for himself, if he truly does want her back or if it is all just a farce. Humans are curious by nature. Sometimes, more than not, it gets us all to do something we know is not necessarily a good thing but we do it anyway. Why? Because the unknown is intriguing. The unknown interests humans more than we will ever understand. His ex is now the unkown. What may become of their contact between each other has now intrigued him more than he understands which is why he is doing this; albeit, he is treading lightly so give him some credit. After all these posts from na, do you honestly think that the images and actions and feelings that his ex has bestowed upon him from her hideous and despicable actions are magically gone? I shall think not. Personally, I think na is ready to "test" not only his ex, but himself. He is essentially putting himself through the crucible, just like any marine must face after boot camp. It is the path he has chosen and it is he himself who must face whatever outcome and emotions and consequences that may and will arrive from this. None of our inputs will really matter in a sense now. He does acknowledge them but ultimately, it is he who has to make the tough decisions (or easy depending on which side you're for/ how you see it). Na is an intelligent guy. He knows damn well this ignorant girl is no good for him and deserves better, yet curiosity always seems to get the best of people. Only time will tell what will really happen. Na, my dear friend, I wish you good luck in your journey. And may the odds be ever in your favor... ^^^ Sorry just had too, haha 6
Harradin Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I'm not really one to give advice, but my 2 cents: You shouldn't have replied so quickly tbh, since she was around campus if she wanted to talk to you that bad she could have come and found you on campus. Plus it would have meant something if she really wanted to find you that bad that she came to find you in person. I am so glad that I made sure there was no proper way my ex could ever contact me unless she found me in person.
Chi townD Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I wonder if NA is ever coming back or if this is going to turn into a dead thread?
McDonald Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I hope it does die.... Funny thread. So many pages... then its over in 1 page. Kinda like my relationship lol 2
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Funny thread. So many pages... then its over in 1 page. Kinda like my relationship lol Oh? I said that cause I'm in a very bad mood ATM. It won't be over...Haha....no...he'll come back someday. But everything dies, this thread shall one day...
McDonald Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I dont want to say I envy the outcome...... but I may envy the outcome.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 I dont want to say I envy the outcome...... but I may envy the outcome. That's cause you are drawing a conclusion that is not existent yet. If things turn out good for him...good, then yes....envy away. If not, pity away and see it as a lesson for all... I did the samething he has done; nothing had changed, but a few sweet promises readily broken. Be happy for him... 2
Simon Phoenix Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Nothing to add here. Everything I would say would just be repeating myself and repeating other posters ITT. This is what na always wanted, so nothing I or others can say will do anything. 1
destroyed4sho Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 That's cause you are drawing a conclusion that is not existent yet. If things turn out good for him...good, then yes....envy away. If not, pity away and see it as a lesson for all... I did the samething he has done; nothing had changed, but a few sweet promises readily broken. Be happy for him... Well, if he does ride of into the sunset it would be a really nice conclusion to this thread. It will also provide some dangerous hope to others on this forum. :-( Anyway, I wish him the best and hope it will all works out for him. I love hearing stories of the power of love. This may be an example of it... a nice fairytale ending For Once on this Forum. LOVE CONQUERS ALL !! If its real love it will work out, I really believe this with all my heart. If not, when he crash and burns, we will be here for him.
destroyed4sho Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 Just venting, My ex was not ummm...eye candy...in addition, she had no depth and wasn't capable of any deep conversations. Why the hell did I like her? She also had no capacity for feeling empathy, and had a temper. The only thing good about her is that she was fun to be around and was a comedian. Other than that..there was nothing more....
cavalier99 Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) Huh. The thread is ending? What am i going to do with my time? F****ck. lol Cav Does any one who needs a thread want to volunteer theirs? meh wont be the same. Oh well. Edited April 9, 2013 by cavalier99 1
Author na49 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) I never left guys... The reason I haven't been posting is because it's been nice out and school has been kicking my @ss. Yes. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want this outcome because I did (just read this thread lol) For anyone who is jealous (which you shouldn't be) it's not as magical as you think. My life hasn't magically gotten better since she begged for me back. I'm still working out. I'm still going to counseling tomorrow and I'm going to discuss the whole her coming back thing with my counselor. I doubt my counselor will believe it at first considering how last week I was telling her I wanted her to come back. My counselor will probably tell me what you guys have told me, but it seems like advice from her seems to stick with me more because I'm hearing it in person. Nothing has really changed since yesterday. and I chatted up two girls today and felt awesome doing it. They both mentioned they had boyfriends but I didn't give a crap. I still want to give advice and encourage others because you all have encouraged me. Edited April 9, 2013 by na49 5
Chi townD Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 So have you heard back from "her" since this all went down?
Author na49 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 I basically told her what's up and if she REALLY wants this to work, she's gotta do it my way. To which she says she's completely down. That's all that's happened really. and cav, I feel the same as I've been feeling. Less obsessive thoughts about her surprisingly but more stressed about school and the other parts of my life that I wasn't as concerned about before. 1
destroyed4sho Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Na- sounds like your are not so excited as you thought you would be? Does anyone know why we are so desperate to get them back and then when we do its like, meh....not such a big thing? This has happened to me before and not sure what its all about.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Na- sounds like your are not so excited as you thought you would be? Does anyone know why we are so desperate to get them back and then when we do its like, meh....not such a big thing? This has happened to me before and not sure what its all about. Cause we miss them. We draw fantasy based conclusions that they will have learned the second time around. We do not like being alone. We are seeking familiarity. Many things.
Author na49 Posted April 10, 2013 Author Posted April 10, 2013 I think it's the amount of time since the BU, the fact I was NC for 5+ months, I never begged, the amount of self improvement I've done and how much growing (it hasn't been much but I have grown) I've done. A person who just gets dumped would be jumping for joy over what happened to me. It happened and meh I may have walked with a bit more confidence today but that may have been because I was wearing one of the new shirts I bought last weekend and I think I looked damn good in it. Overall nothing is really different. I had trouble sleeping last night. Not because of this, because of stress over other things going on. I'm just hearing from her again. I'd be lying if I said I'm not happy. I am. but I'm not ecstatic. I have a tendency of building everything up to be bigger than it is. I thought I would burst into flames for blocking her number and I thought I would explode for looking at her facebook. I heard from her. I responded. but I'm still here. She seems to think that time apart has helped us both. I kind of agree with her on that, and would suggest any couple that did want to try things again to have time apart (completely apart and for longer than a week). I think it's so funny how I think of her less obsessively now that she's right in front of me than I did when she was gone. In my twisted way, I could say this was a good thing. My focus is back on my life and not as much her's.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 You never think of something when it's there. You have it, so why worry over it. I agree, time apart does help(sometimes). I do not care if a thousand years past...I am not getting back with my ex; she did way too much to me. Without any care for me. I played doormat in hopes of a change -- it didn't happen. And believe me everything that makes my body up and soul screams in agony over her...both missing and loving her. But I have long been done with playing to that noise. Least you are happy and can focus. Hopefully it stays. 1
destroyed4sho Posted April 10, 2013 Posted April 10, 2013 Cause we miss them. We draw fantasy based conclusions that they will have learned the second time around. We do not like being alone. We are seeking familiarity. Many things. Its familiarity, missing the person's good side, being lonely, feeling connected to someone, social stuff etc....yet it makes no sense at all because they were so toxic. Its like I live in fantasy and reality at the same time. Yes, i do miss my ex, but I am also fantasizing about being with her and talking to her at the same time. But I know that in reality, that will never happen again, yet the fantasy remains. But, I do not want her back. I am over her, yet I still have anger issues and feel very wronged by the relationship, like I was betrayed and deceived. So, basically I am fantasizing about a person that betrayed me, treated me like crap and dumped me.....where is the logic in all this??...LOL 2
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