Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 two days after I was arrested, I noticed on the news that the sentence for 'stalking' carried a custody order for 2.5yrs now. Awesome. 6years of my life thrown away on xbox and weed. Few sleep over with an old friend is likely to cost me another 2.5years. Sweet.
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 To be honest, I'm actually pretty worried I'm getting in more trouble for that. I felt like this the last time I contacted her, two days later I was in a cell.. Really stupid to message her again. She's sending them round again. I can feel it.
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 Why would I do that? I was angry at her for getting me in trouble, so I go apolgise again, giving her more power to get me in more trouble? WTF? she's gonna send themmm TWAT
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 You're agonising at talking to yourself now. You need to come off the computer, switch it off, and take a good, long, brisk walk in the fresh air. You need to clear your mind of all this agony, and honestly - like I said - you need to calm your racing thoughts and speak to someone professional - because this obsession is taking you over. There will come a time, if you don't halt this, that your obsession will become greater than your feelings for her. They may fade, but your behaviour may worsen, until you forget the real motive behind all this - and just be obsessed with doing stuff. And that is mental, unbalanced, schizoid and totally off the wall. Do NOT let yourself drift towards that scenario! Please - please contact someone, and soon. I know I'm abrasive. I know I can be blunt - but honestly?? Being like this, driven by someone outside of yourself - is just too much - and completely unnecessary! You need to get her off that pedestal and see her for who she is. Just a woman, and just another human being. She is no more or less wonderful than anyone else, but you have fixated on her for so long, you've elevated her to a status that I guarantee you, would make her feel very uncomfortable. back away, and look to yourself. You need to heal - but only you can set the process rolling.
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 You're agonising at talking to yourself now. You need to come off the computer, switch it off, and take a good, long, brisk walk in the fresh air. You need to clear your mind of all this agony, and honestly - like I said - you need to calm your racing thoughts and speak to someone professional - because this obsession is taking you over. There will come a time, if you don't halt this, that your obsession will become greater than your feelings for her. They may fade, but your behaviour may worsen, until you forget the real motive behind all this - and just be obsessed with doing stuff. And that is mental, unbalanced, schizoid and totally off the wall. Do NOT let yourself drift towards that scenario! Please - please contact someone, and soon. I know I'm abrasive. I know I can be blunt - but honestly?? Being like this, driven by someone outside of yourself - is just too much - and completely unnecessary! You need to get her off that pedestal and see her for who she is. Just a woman, and just another human being. She is no more or less wonderful than anyone else, but you have fixated on her for so long, you've elevated her to a status that I guarantee you, would make her feel very uncomfortable. back away, and look to yourself. You need to heal - but only you can set the process rolling. The main problem is the worry of the police arriving again now. I've just spoken to the councellor on the phone, arranged some more appointments in a couple of weeks time. She's slowing getting down off that pedestal. I mean, I think she is. Sort of. Ish. She loves being up there. I love her sitting there. I just wish she was still here HA ridiculous.
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 You know what I would do in your place?? Seriously and honestly?? I would advise someone that I broke the curfew. I really would. I would contact the Police and confess that I made a rash error of judgement while drunk (dress it up a bit) and advise them that you did what you did. If things are the same as here - they will do nothing until the person who orchestrated the injunction actually files a complaint. An action is only enforceable when the plaintiff makes a case of it. It's my guess that if nothing has happened yet - it's not going to.
beyond Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 The main problem is the worry of the police arriving again now. I've just spoken to the councellor on the phone, arranged some more appointments in a couple of weeks time. She's slowing getting down off that pedestal. I mean, I think she is. Sort of. Ish. She loves being up there. I love her sitting there. I just wish she was still here HA ridiculous. It's not in your control if the police come or not, so try not to waste time worrying about that. Well done on booking appointments with the counsellor - it's a positive step. Be honest with him/her, tell them everything you have told us here - believe me, nothing will shock them. I wish you a much happier and peaceful New Year 1
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 the only downside to her, is that she doesn't want to be here with me. I made that happen myself. I can deal with girls not being interested, I've had a fair few times to practise that. It's just this one in particular. Loved me being around her, right up until I acted crazy on her. Saying I want her friend, I never liked her, she's this and that and I never want to hear form her again. Just madness. I knew before all those messages that I shouldn't have been sending them. I still sent them. Stupid. Just wrecked it on purpose. That's the problem. Right up until I smashed it apart, it was pretty good. I loved being around her, she loved being around me. Just another person, I don't know. It's weird. I remember her from eight years ago being perfect. I remember her from 6 months ago being perfect. Really weird. It's like there are two people in one, two sets of memories with the same person, two different feelings with the same person, two different lives including the same person. So weird. So weird. It's impossible to describe her. I shouldn't have wrecked that. I really should not have wrecked that. I guarantee you there will never be anyone who I feel so.. much for? Something like that. She sat there for eight years before, she's likely to be sitting there for a whole lot longer this time. How do I get her off it?
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 You put her there. You have to get her off. you're the one elevating her to that status, and honestly, she's not 'all that'. And she would hate to be thought of in that way. If she's so perfect, that is. If her ego needs that kind of boost - then why be with someone so self-centred? That's not perfect, is it? make your mind up....
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 You know what I would do in your place?? Seriously and honestly?? I would advise someone that I broke the curfew. I really would. I would contact the Police and confess that I made a rash error of judgement while drunk (dress it up a bit) and advise them that you did what you did. If things are the same as here - they will do nothing until the person who orchestrated the injunction actually files a complaint. An action is only enforceable when the plaintiff makes a case of it. It's my guess that if nothing has happened yet - it's not going to. There's no injucntion on me. I'm not sure what is likely to happen.. She may not have opened her email yet, it's been not 24 hours yet. I'm not sure how she would react. She actually tried for a long time to prevent me getting in any trouble. I know a lot of guys would have happily been round to 'talk' to me on her behalf. She had the police phone me rather than come to arrest me (the least warning she oculd give without any serious trouble/implications for me), she stood and spoke to me even after I was warned by the police, she replied a couple of times to emails after that, then only had me arrested when I turned up at her house late at night after messaging her sister about 20times that day. I don't think she would want me in serious trouble, she could have had injunctions ordered, could have had me arrested earlier, could have sent the 'wrong people' (as she put it) to come see me. I know she has a lot of male friends ringing up asking her if things are ok, even guys of friends of friends, she was saying. I hope she's read them, and let them slide.. I really do. There was nothing worrying in them, it happened three times in ten minutes, and she'll never receive another, nor see me deliberately anywhere near her. I hope she was in a good mood when she opened them, or is when she does. Chances are, the police would be there getting the evidence today. Likely arrest tonight. Who knows? Wait and see I guess. My conscience is clean. It was just an apology, there was no intention of worrying her. Yes, I shouldn't have risked it, but I did. I have a clean conscience, I just have to hope she's not feeling anger when she sees them there.
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 You put her there. You have to get her off. you're the one elevating her to that status, and honestly, she's not 'all that'. And she would hate to be thought of in that way. If she's so perfect, that is. If her ego needs that kind of boost - then why be with someone so self-centred? That's not perfect, is it? make your mind up.... Trying to think of reasons to get her off the pedestal, only reverts back to me thinking how great she was/is.. There are a couple of things I guess.. Her driving sucks. I know she can lie. I know she can cheat. She is maybe a little too much in love with herself. She isn't perfect. Then I think about how I felt being around her.. her laugh, smile, hands, stupid way she itches her nose, how great a mother she is, how smart and funny, friendly.. To be fair, a few mistakes in her past that aren't ALL that bad.. Truth is, she really is all that. I freakin wrecked it lol maybe she's a twat, she's just good at hiding it.
geegirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Trying to think of reasons to get her off the pedestal, only reverts back to me thinking how great she was/is.. There are a couple of things I guess.. Her driving sucks. I know she can lie. I know she can cheat. She is maybe a little too much in love with herself. She isn't perfect. Then I think about how I felt being around her.. her laugh, smile, hands, stupid way she itches her nose, how great a mother she is, how smart and funny, friendly.. To be fair, a few mistakes in her past that aren't ALL that bad.. Truth is, she really is all that. I freakin wrecked it lol maybe she's a twat, she's just good at hiding it. It's normal QB. You have a negative trait about them but soon enough that's forgotten and you go back to thinking about how great she/he was. The mind will go back and forth. Unfortunately, the only thing that will help you now is for you to go for your counselling appointments, and hopefully you'll have a self-development plan in place, and to just let time take you through the course of detaching. It may take months for you to finally get some balance. It all depends on you and the work you put forth for yourself. 1
Bumaga vsyo sterpit Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I don't think she's gonna sic the cops on you again. You're just panicking.
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 I don't think she's gonna sic the cops on you again. You're just panicking. Sure hope you're right. I'm running if they come again lmaoo
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 It's been five months now lmao Dunno what the hell I've done to myself. Been okish today, got my hair cut arranged to meet a few friends tonight, might even spray a little aftershave and whatnot.. Even have a bath before I go out I'll survive. Feeling a little better now I've apologised and the police haven't come storming the building! Can actually move on so long as they don't show up in the next few days.
geegirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Sure hope you're right. I'm running if they come again lmaoo I think if you haven't heard anything by now, I don't believe you're going to have to run. 1
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 It's still real early I think personally.. If it hasn't happened a week from today, I'll be able to stop worrying. I'm not terrified, I'd just rather know to be prepared for their arrival or whether she's let it slide lol one week and it will be gone
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 Or.. I might get absolutely wrecked tonight and go knock on at hers ahaha noooo:p
geegirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Or.. I might get absolutely wrecked tonight and go knock on at hers ahaha noooo:p Noooooooo!!!! Stay away from alcohol. It is a depressant and will do nothing for you. If you truly want to do better for yourself QB, stay on the right path, please. You can't regret your behavior with her then go back and do exactly what you've been beating yourself up about. Your apology has no value and you only justify the view she already has of you. Please, please. If you have to go out, don't drink. Better yet, go to the library, get a good book about self development and read.
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 Honestly, alcohol is THAT much of a bad idea? No way on earth will I be turning up at hers, regardless of the volume consumed lmaoo
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 I'm definitely goign to the pub, I've told about 25 old friends to meet me there lmao Normality is what I need. The worst that will happen if I drink too much is spewing up!! I can control myself ahaa Anytime I went to her house drunk, it was already planned to go there. I just got a little too drunk while I waited ahaa I don't act too stupid on it. It will definitely not take me near her. Normality. 24yrs old, drinking with friends over the holiday period. I'll report the outcome tomorrow, don't worry ahaa
geegirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Honestly, alcohol is THAT much of a bad idea? No way on earth will I be turning up at hers, regardless of the volume consumed lmaoo I can't believe you are asking! Yes. It is a mood altering depressant drug. It only works against you, especially when you are in such turmoil. You hit a high and no sooner you are hitting lows. Indulge in positive habits, especially when you struggling emotionally and mentally.
geegirl Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 I'm definitely goign to the pub, I've told about 25 old friends to meet me there lmao Normality is what I need. The worst that will happen if I drink too much is spewing up!! I can control myself ahaa Anytime I went to her house drunk, it was already planned to go there. I just got a little too drunk while I waited ahaa I don't act too stupid on it. It will definitely not take me near her. Normality. 24yrs old, drinking with friends over the holiday period. I'll report the outcome tomorrow, don't worry ahaa Do what you need to do, just stay away from her and no drunk emailing or texting. 1
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 I actually feel a whole lot better at the moment. Been talking to more friends over the past few days, had my hair put right, get ready and go spend some time with people for the first time in 5 months. I'm quite excited about it. I'm not a crazy drinker, two or three can't do much damage. I'm not getting blotto HA
Author quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 Do what you need to do, just stay away from her and no drunk emailing or texting. Definitely be making no contact with her, definitely be going nowhere near her lol You'll get the full story tomorrow It would be awkward if she was in there.. I doubt very much that will be the case though. Maybe some of her friends, but that's cool. I dont' care if I look more of a twat in front of them. Should be a good night
Recommended Posts