Woggle Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 One of the things my mother told me in that last conversation we had that is still running around in my head is that my wife is a stepford wife, She says she would never cheat on me because women like her don't have the guts to stand up to a man and put their needs first while my ex went and took what she wanted and is still punished for it today. She says that she hopes one day my wife will rebel and reclaim her self respect from the shackles of patriarchy. Is she right and should I maybe just stop expecting a woman to be faithful and just tell her to go and do what she wants? Am I crushing her spirit? Am I a patriarchal bully for punishing my ex for daring to take care of her sexual needs?
Pyro Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 If we say yes then will you stop with the nonsense? 7
xxoo Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Is it that time of year again? Woggle, you start this thread at least once a year. Just search for the past threads, and read the responses. Your wife is awesome, and you mom sucks. Can you climb back on the wagon now, pwetty please? Take your wife out this weekend, and love her up. 10
threebyfate Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/249908-my-mother-thinks-my-wife-stepford-wife-2.html http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/257461-faithful-women-stepford-wives-2.html http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/265629-what-makes-woman-stepford-wife http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/298418-all-nice-women-considered-stepford-wives To save you some search time Woggle, here are the other 4 previous stepford wife threads of yours. 8
Author Woggle Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 If we say yes then will you stop with the nonsense? How is it nonsense? I thought was forum was for people seeking advice on relationships and that the marriage forum was about getting marital advice. I keep making this thread because I keep hearing this and it makes me wonder. Maybe my mother is right and I just want an easy woman to control and was scared of the passion and challenge of my ex.
Hawaii50 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 How is it nonsense? I thought was forum was for people seeking advice on relationships and that the marriage forum was about getting marital advice. I keep making this thread because I keep hearing this and it makes me wonder. Maybe my mother is right and I just want an easy woman to control and was scared of the passion and challenge of my ex. I think you should stop listening to how mommy thinks your wife feels. 6
Pyro Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 How is it nonsense? I thought was forum was for people seeking advice on relationships and that the marriage forum was about getting marital advice. I keep making this thread because I keep hearing this and it makes me wonder. Maybe my mother is right and I just want an easy woman to control and was scared of the passion and challenge of my ex. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/249908-my-mother-thinks-my-wife-stepford-wife-2.html http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/257461-faithful-women-stepford-wives-2.html http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/265629-what-makes-woman-stepford-wife http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/298418-all-nice-women-considered-stepford-wives To save you some search time Woggle, here are the other 4 previous stepford wife threads of yours. 2
Author Woggle Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 I keep making these threads because I am trying to figure out why I am so wrong for simply wanting a relationship where I am treated as well as I treat her. Is this culture that misandrist that a man is wrong for simply wanting that in his life? Maybe I am wrong and I just need to man up and accept the fact that I am a sexist pig for ever wanting that.
Hawaii50 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I keep making these threads because I am trying to figure out why I am so wrong for simply wanting a relationship where I am treated as well as I treat her. Is this culture that misandrist that a man is wrong for simply wanting that in his life? Maybe I am wrong and I just need to man up and accept the fact that I am a sexist pig for ever wanting that. No, that's fine, you can make a post about that.. But trying to cloak it isn't working very well and you're not getting answers, cause you're not asking the right (real) questions. 1
Author Woggle Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 No, that's fine, you can make a post about that.. But trying to cloak it isn't working very well and you're not getting answers, cause you're not asking the right (real) questions. How am I trying to cloak it and what questions should I be asking?
Anela Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I keep making these threads because I am trying to figure out why I am so wrong for simply wanting a relationship where I am treated as well as I treat her. Is this culture that misandrist that a man is wrong for simply wanting that in his life? Maybe I am wrong and I just need to man up and accept the fact that I am a sexist pig for ever wanting that. A sexist pig wouldn't give her the freedom to be who she is. He would consider her his property. There were posts in the dating forum, about submission, comparing a wife to a slave. I don't think that you think of your wife that way.
veggirl Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Considering the s.hit your wife must put up with due to your moods and constant woman-questioning, I'm not sure I'd say she is "stepford" but clearly she will put up with a lot more than I think many other women would. So perhaps she is. Lucky you? 1
JamesM Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Personally...and I do mean this...I think your wife is a saint. The doubt that you have, which I understand WHY you have it, would drive many women nuts. She seems to be patient and understanding. And you may not tell her these thoughts, but women are pretty good at picking up the signals. 1
Hawaii50 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 How am I trying to cloak it and what questions should I be asking? Not this one.
xxoo Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 How am I trying to cloak it and what questions should I be asking? Can I have some support? What can I do to get out of this dark mood? What can I do to change my negative thought process? Anyone recommend a great therapist?
Author Woggle Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 Can I have some support? What can I do to get out of this dark mood? What can I do to change my negative thought process? Anyone recommend a great therapist? The thing is that I don't whether I am wrong or right. Maybe women like my wife are stepford wives. I see men get torn apart for desiring the kind of qualities that attracted me to her.
xxoo Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 The thing is that I don't whether I am wrong or right. Maybe women like my wife are stepford wives. I see men get torn apart for desiring the kind of qualities that attracted me to her. Would a professional opinion be persuasive? Put the question to a therapist, because it's been asked and answered here many times over: no, she is not.
2sunny Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Maybe but I am just confused. Confusion always seems to come when you give your lunatic Mother any credit for those mean things that come out of her mouth. Good reason to never communicate with her again! Your Mother is an abusive bully...stop talking to her - better yet - stop listening too. A loving Mother would be telling you what's right about your wife and marriage. 4
2sunny Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Your Moms opinion is tainted by her dark cloud...hence no merit to anything she says. 1
whichwayisup Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 One of the things my mother told me in that last conversation we had that is still running around in my head is that my wife is a stepford wife, She says she would never cheat on me because women like her don't have the guts to stand up to a man and put their needs first while my ex went and took what she wanted and is still punished for it today. She says that she hopes one day my wife will rebel and reclaim her self respect from the shackles of patriarchy. Is she right and should I maybe just stop expecting a woman to be faithful and just tell her to go and do what she wants? Am I crushing her spirit? Am I a patriarchal bully for punishing my ex for daring to take care of her sexual needs? Why are you still focusing and even LISTENING to a word your mother says Woggle? I thought you cut her out of your life. She has such a bad effect on you and your marriage, your life now. Who cares about your ex, she's your ex. Your current wife is fine. Nothing wrong with her. Sad to say this, but if your marriage fails, it won't be the fault of your wife. It'll be your own undoing. Your wife loves you, has faith in you, has always had your back, given you no reason to mistrust her. (I feel like I've said this 100 times to you, and I'll say 100 times more so you will believe MY words and NOT your mom's words) OMG, COME ON WOGGLE! Wake up and realize you have a damn good marriage and a wonderful wife. Rant done. 2
whichwayisup Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Maybe women like my wife are stepford wives. Reading this truly makes me sad. Seems like you don't know your wife at all. I really wish I had a magic wand to wave towards you so your trust issues would disappear and so you could enjoy your marriage and wife without all this bad crap and negative stuff going on inside your head.
whichwayisup Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I keep making these threads because I am trying to figure out why I am so wrong for simply wanting a relationship where I am treated as well as I treat her. Is this culture that misandrist that a man is wrong for simply wanting that in his life? Maybe I am wrong and I just need to man up and accept the fact that I am a sexist pig for ever wanting that. Okay, is your current wife treating you badly? You barely speak of her. Or how she treats you. You only speak of your ex and all the horrible things about her. Seems we know more about your nutcase mom and your crazy ex-wife than your own wife that you're married to now. List 5 positive qualities your wife has. List 10 reasons why you love her. List 5 reasons why you're still married to her. Sorry if my words are harsh. Honestly it just really pisses me off that you're still focusing on this bad stuff. After so many years of therapy, posting on here, it seems you take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. I do care, a lot Woggle. You deserve to be happy and you're sabotaging your own marriage day by day, doing so much harm... 2
skydiveaddict Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Is she right and should I maybe just stop expecting a woman to be faithful and just tell her to go and do what she wants? Good grief. Are you still on this? Even I've given it up. 1
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