Woggle Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I was just talking to my mother and she is still angry at me for dumping my ex. According to her I dumped her because she would not be a faithful stepford and that I punished her for acting the way men have acted for ages. She said that I have my faithful slave right now and that my current wife is a doormat who does not satisfy her own needs. Do you agree with this?
112233 Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Well I don't know your wife, but if she's hot, send her over for a few weeks and I'll get back to you.
NoLongerSad Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 I was just talking to my mother and she is still angry at me for dumping my ex. According to her I dumped her because she would not be a faithful stepford and that I punished her for acting the way men have acted for ages. She said that I have my faithful slave right now and that my current wife is a doormat who does not satisfy her own needs. Do you agree with this? No not at all. Your mother sounds very toxic.
Cee Posted December 17, 2010 Posted December 17, 2010 Your mom sounds awesome to me. She's spirited. I can't imagine my mother ever making a sophisticated criticism about my love life. And it's astounding that your mom is defending your ex wife over your current wife. In my family, we just erase the exes from the collective memory and dote on the current love interests. Really I have no opinion about your wives, but want to hear more about your mother.
Author Woggle Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 She is not awesome. She is actually a big reason why I am the way I am.
sweetjasmine Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Do you agree with this? Not at all. She's dead wrong. Your mom is abusive, hateful, and full of crap.
theBrokenMuse Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Wogs, your Mom is nuts. You know it, I know it. What she says would only be true on opposite day and that goes for EVERYTHING that comes out of that toxic woman's mouth.
Kinder-Horror Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 The thing about relationships is that everyone has their own set of rules. In this case, your mother's rulebook and my rulebook are vastly different. If a man cheated on me, he would be out the door (and I don't care how many "ages" men have been doing it for). Just as I would expect to be dumped if I cheated. That said.. there are some people who have open relationships, some who swing, some who forgive cheating, etc etc etc. I think you and your mother just differ in your beliefs as far as what is acceptable in a relationship. There is no real right/wrong.
theBrokenMuse Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Your mom sounds awesome to me. She's spirited. I can't imagine my mother ever making a sophisticated criticism about my love life. And it's astounding that your mom is defending your ex wife over your current wife. In my family, we just erase the exes from the collective memory and dote on the current love interests. Really I have no opinion about your wives, but want to hear more about your mother. Wog's Mom has a history of extremist positions on feminism (or is a feminazi as some folks would put it) who is happy to see women hurting males since in her warped mind, all men deserve it.
Alma Mobley Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 I was just talking to my mother and she is still angry at me for dumping my ex. According to her I dumped her because she would not be a faithful stepford and that I punished her for acting the way men have acted for ages. She said that I have my faithful slave right now and that my current wife is a doormat who does not satisfy her own needs. Do you agree with this? Of course not because that is ridiculous.
OpenBook Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Frankly I don't understand why or how you are still speaking to her. Or why her words carry any weight whatsoever after all she's done to you. You're a bigger man than me. (Well, sort of.)
Kasan Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 I was just talking to my mother and she is still angry at me for dumping my ex. According to her I dumped her because she would not be a faithful stepford and that I punished her for acting the way men have acted for ages. She said that I have my faithful slave right now and that my current wife is a doormat who does not satisfy her own needs. Do you agree with this? Didn't you discuss this subject a while back? I honestly don't know why you continue to give your mother the power to make you question your current marriage. I really have some serious doubts at what kind of mother would want her child to continue in a marriage that was so destructive. Everyone knows your first wife was (politely said) not quite right. I question what your mother's motive in all of this is and I am surprised that you haven't covered some of this ground in your meetings with your counselor. What kind of mother wants her son with someone who tried to kill him? Wogs, for once you have to start trusting in yourself and in your relationship with your current wife. And Wogs, seriously, who cares if your mother thinks faithful women are Stepford wives? Are you happy with your wife?
Author Woggle Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 I am very happy in my marriage but I was actually questioning whether or not I was being a chavinist pig by prefering my current marriage over my first. Sometimes I actually believe what she says then I go to the other extreme and start becoming very negative towards women. She called me today for the holidays and like an idiot I believed her when she was initially nice.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 I think your mother is angry because she is miserable and you are happy. Misery loves company. If you view it in this light, you might be able to muster some pity for her.
sweetjasmine Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 I am very happy in my marriage but I was actually questioning whether or not I was being a chavinist pig by prefering my current marriage over my first. No way, Wogs. Preferring to be loved and treated well by someone who cares about you to being treated like crap does not make you a chauvinist pig. It makes you a human being with a healthy mindset. Your wife is not a doormat or a slave, and you're not doing anything remotely wrong by having a good relationship with her where neither of you hurts the other. You're not a chauvinist pig or a bad person for preferring a good relationship over an unhealthy bad one where you're treated like dirt. Your mom is toxic. Don't let her BS affect your marriage.
quankanne Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Miss Ruby hit it on the nail – your mom's not gonna be happy unless she's making you miserable, and because your wife is tied in with a good deal of your happy state now, she'll do whatever she can to undermine that. Including spout crap outta her @$$ with remarks like that. I was actually questioning whether or not I was being a chavinist pig by prefering my current marriage over my first. No, you're not being a ManPig, you're just living out the happiness you're meant to have in life. Your mother's just being intentionally wicked because she needs you to be miserable, period. as for being a Stepford Wive? All whining aside, I'm as faithful as a spouse as can get, and my husband will tell you I'm nowhere NEAR being a Stepford Wife. LMAO – I think he's finally realized he's shackled for life to a crazy little mamacita :laugh::laugh:
Author Woggle Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 According to her she is as happy as can be but I can't see it. I think the reason she has taken such a liking to my ex is to spite me.
sagetalk Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 I was just talking to my mother and she is still angry at me for dumping my ex. According to her I dumped her because she would not be a faithful stepford and that I punished her for acting the way men have acted for ages. She said that I have my faithful slave right now and that my current wife is a doormat who does not satisfy her own needs. Do you agree with this? Feminist's have destroyed many men's positive view of women. It sounds like your mother is an extremely blinded one. They are a cancer of society, one I'm afraid we are stuck with because of the stupidity of a few men in the past. No, I don't agree with her. Women that give up their life for their family are some of the most admirable of all women. The same could be said for men as well.
Author Woggle Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 I don't want to tar all feminists with the same brush but people like her are why that word has such a negative image to many people.
dreamingoftigers Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 I think you guys may be confusing feminists with nutjobs. Woggle, you are going to have to go NC with your mother for much longer. Tell her it is to facilitate your healing. Don't say that you are going to do an all-time rejection, because they rarely work. Just do 3-6 months of NC, if she doesn't respect that you need to heal from your past (and of course she won't because she is Mother of the Year after all) then tough ****, tell her that you think you do and that's all there is to it. Once you have gone NC for awhile and you can better create that distance, she will have less power over you and you can set firmer boundaries that you will be able to follow through with when she does re-enter your life. Had to do it with Dad. He was sure an old prick, now he toes the line because he knows I mean it. Once you go NC with them, they just seem smaller. EMDR really helps with the childhood stuff too, really, really helps. As for the question in the OP, I personally have an odd opinion on that one. Does it matter if she is a Stepford wife or not? I would think that it doesn't. It doesn't matter if she only has half of the brains, beauty and charm of the ex, it doesn't matter if the ex was a Grand Master seductress. It doesn't matter if you were/are a chauvinist pig in your mother's eyes for dumping your ex. None of that matters. The thing that matters is that you have built a healthy relationship with your wife and that you love her and have committed to her. She could be the lousiest cook, the smelliest most deplorable dock worker in Jersey. But you are happy with her and happy with having a healthy relationship based on give/take/support and loyalty. If that love and thrill goes through a dry season (As it certainly will in any marriage) use that committment to refresh it, keep looking to change yourself and your circumstance until it works for you again, and this time more long-term. Use committment to refresh your love and love to refresh your committment. Who gives a **** if she is a Stepford Wife. Hopefully she is the best damn one. You happy, she happy, everybody happy! (except your mother, but really she wouldn't be jumping for joy if you got back together with your ex either, she would just find a new tool to shame you with). (By the way, I totally get this scenario, my father was such a jerk to just about every guy I ever brought home, but when I met my H, I think he knew something was up right from day one so he threatened to kill him etc etc, he wasn't kidding. Eventually you realize it is just noise because they resent you having what they didn't have: which is happiness in any form.) Now put your mother-earmuffs on and go have a happy marriage!
allina Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 She said that I have my faithful slave right now and that my current wife is a doormat who does not satisfy her own needs. Do you agree with this? No, that sounds so ridicules it's almost hard to believe someone said it.
underpants Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 Woggs, Is this the same ex that tried to shoot you? Doesn't really matter except if your Mom is defending that chick then Dam'n. It can be so hard to let that dysfunctional family water run off your back. I personally think that is why the holidays were invented. However, we must duck on... You have a good life, a good marriage (and a good duck ). Celebrate that. Faithful women are just like faithful men. Enjoy and appreciate that because: 1: You found a good partnership 2: You piss off all the right people by being happy.
Author Woggle Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Woggs, Is this the same ex that tried to shoot you? Doesn't really matter except if your Mom is defending that chick then Dam'n. It can be so hard to let that dysfunctional family water run off your back. I personally think that is why the holidays were invented. However, we must duck on... You have a good life, a good marriage (and a good duck ). Celebrate that. Faithful women are just like faithful men. Enjoy and appreciate that because: 1: You found a good partnership 2: You piss off all the right people by being happy. Yes she tried to shoot me and my mother says that I drove her to do it. You are right that I need to let this water run off my back which I will try to do.
quankanne Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 You piss off all the right people by being happy. now there's a motto I can live by! look at it this way, Woggle: it's either you make your mom miserable by living happily in your marriage, or make yourself miserable by letting her get to you. I'd put my money on your wifey, simply because she knows how to love you best and because she brings out the best in you
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 I think you guys may be confusing feminists with nutjobs. That is very true. Not all nutjobs are feminists. To compare it with beer... if Nutjobs are represented by beer, then feminists would be Natty Ice. There are many other brands and flavors out there.
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