Own Worst Enemy Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 (sorry for typos, iPad + alcohol = ****ter than normal posts!) Just keep it up. Look at it this way if it helps: If he is noticing and missing you, your silence is working. Not that you want that, actually, but it's true. If he doesn't care, unfortunately the soul destroying - and it really really is - truth is: you can't make him care. So better to save your pride and not try. Oh and he is a mahoosive douche!!! Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 I Really want to be at the stage where I . Just. Do. Not Care. Anymore When is that going to happen? It could take months. There is no set timeline. It all depends on how emotionally strong and determined you are to get to the other side, and that also means staying strict NC even when he's knocking on the door. Contact almost always guarantees a setback. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 (sorry for typos, iPad + alcohol = ****ter than normal posts!) Just keep it up. Look at it this way if it helps: If he is noticing and missing you, your silence is working. Not that you want that, actually, but it's true. If he doesn't care, unfortunately the soul destroying - and it really really is - truth is: you can't make him care. So better to save your pride and not try. Oh and he is a mahoosive douche!!! i saw some similar traits in that guy of yours to this guy here that i am trying to get over. And its true that if you stay long enough you can really damage your self esteem... I imagine him dancing a frollicking around like he is in a Coke ad, hand in hand with the real/imaginary girl..... having a whale of a time... the hardest part is wondering of he even noticing i am gone. And i keep bracing myself for him to contact because heres the thing: He said he would text when he had an idea of when he could come over to do this work. I dont know if he was just saying that to get rid of me ( it was the day afetr he told me about the real/imaginary girl) So i am feeling uneasy because i dont know whether he is actually going to contact me, and therefore what i am going to do if/when he does. Do you think he will, or was he just saying he would? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 It could take months. There is no set timeline. It all depends on how emotionally strong and determined you are to get to the other side, and that also means staying strict NC even when he's knocking on the door. Contact almost always guarantees a setback. In some ways NC is a no brainer, because i cant even bear to look at him knowing he is with another girl. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 In some ways NC is a no brainer, because i cant even bear to look at him knowing he is with another girl. You should be disgusted with him, more so for how he has treated you through the years rather than him being with someone else. If there was no other girl, what would you do? If you found out he was lying, would you take him back? You keep focusing on "real/imaginary girl." Rather than wonder if he will contact or not, you should be saying to yourself that you don't want contact and if he does, you want nothing to do with him. Your resolve now should be that you're done and you never want to be a part of him anymore. You have to start changing your mindset. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 (edited) You should be disgusted with him, more so for how he has treated you through the years rather than him being with someone else. If there was no other girl, what would you do? If you found out he was lying, would you take him back? You keep focusing on "real/imaginary girl." Rather than wonder if he will contact or not, you should be saying to yourself that you don't want contact and if he does, you want nothing to do with him. Your resolve now should be that you're done and you never want to be a part of him anymore. If there was no other girl, and it was a lie, liek the girl he lied about before, i would be so disgusted and appalled at him, that No Contact would be a breeze. If i found out that she was a lie, there is no way in hell i would take him back, because that would mean he is some kind of sociopath. The first time he lied about the girl, even though it was very elaborate, i kind of forgave him, or maybe didnt fully believe it was a lie, because it was so incredibly detailed. But if i found out this girl is a lie, i'd be seriously scared of him. Thats why i am so focussed on it. Edited October 23, 2012 by mishy Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 nearly 9 days NC Link to post Share on other sites
taya Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 i would have tell him not to come over anymore omg thats wrong what he did to you i read it and almost cry my self wow 5 years waiting for that man let him go i dont think his new gf would even wait for him that long he as wasted as much of your life let him go now girl .and tell him you find someone eles to fixs that stuff for you:( am so sorry .your a good woman and he will regret losing you Link to post Share on other sites
taya Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 nearly 9 days NC aww is it any better ? am here when ever u need to talk:( Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 i would have tell him not to come over anymore omg thats wrong what he did to you i read it and almost cry my self wow 5 years waiting for that man let him go i dont think his new gf would even wait for him that long he as wasted as much of your life let him go now girl .and tell him you find someone eles to fixs that stuff for you:( am so sorry .your a good woman and he will regret losing you thanks you are a sweetheart, i doubt he will regret losing me as i feel a man who lies so much cannot possibly have a conscience When he told me about the new girl i said "just ask yourself this, if nothing else: Would she wait for you for 8 months?" He didnt reply ofcourse. Link to post Share on other sites
taya Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 thanks you are a sweetheart, i doubt he will regret losing me as i feel a man who lies so much cannot possibly have a conscience When he told me about the new girl i said "just ask yourself this, if nothing else: Would she wait for you for 8 months?" He didnt reply ofcourse. yeah but he will regret it no woman would wait for him that long i dont think i could your a strong woman any man will be lucky . you will find mr right and that new girl soon leave him he will be back very soon and you shouldent take him back Link to post Share on other sites
taya Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 and the reason i think he been acting like this is because he thinks you will always be there no matter what thats why some guys act like that i had a guy did this he left me for another girl it dident work out with her and he came runing back to me and he keep playing me like a fool cheated and just did me dirty i finaly let him go for good a year ago and hes been texting me alot that hes sorry and crying but i never reply he even text me last week but i never reply i havent talk to him over a year now but he still send me random texts which i dont reply so u think he would stop right ... see they never no what they got until its gone Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Mishy, sweetie, does he live in Melbourne, AU? If so, I have no plans for tonight so I can go and beat him up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 yeah but he will regret it no woman would wait for him that long i dont think i could your a strong woman any man will be lucky . you will find mr right and that new girl soon leave him he will be back very soon and you shouldent take him back i shouldnt have waited that long for him. I know nothing about the girl, and im glad i dont, oh no i would definately never get involved with him again, too hurt! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 and the reason i think he been acting like this is because he thinks you will always be there no matter what thats why some guys act like that i had a guy did this he left me for another girl it dident work out with her and he came runing back to me and he keep playing me like a fool cheated and just did me dirty i finaly let him go for good a year ago and hes been texting me alot that hes sorry and crying but i never reply he even text me last week but i never reply i havent talk to him over a year now but he still send me random texts which i dont reply so u think he would stop right ... see they never no what they got until its gone up until now i have always been there no matter what, very silly of me. Who knows what he thinks, or what he will think later on, who knows... its good that you dont reply, you are teaching him a lesson, what a loser, trying to get you back, they dont know what they have til its gone thats for sure Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Mishy, sweetie, does he live in Melbourne, AU? If so, I have no plans for tonight so I can go and beat him up. haha no he doesnt lol thanks for the offer Link to post Share on other sites
taya Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 (edited) up until now i have always been there no matter what, very silly of me. Who knows what he thinks, or what he will think later on, who knows... its good that you dont reply, you are teaching him a lesson, what a loser, trying to get you back, they dont know what they have til its gone thats for sure am not even trying to teach him a lesson i just honestly dont want him anymore i have know feeling at all for him and that was someone i once loved going crazy over crying beging asking him just to take me out it was too much my mind body and soule say enough was enough i let him go and never look back and never felt the same about him he became nothing to me:cool: nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending, Edited October 23, 2012 by taya Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 am not even trying to teaching him a lesson i just honestly dont want him anymore no feeling at all for him and that was someone i once loved going crazy over crying beging asking him just to take me out it was too much my mind body and soule say enough was enough i let him go and never look back and never felt the same about him he became nothing to me:cool: nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending, even though you arent trying to teach him a lesson, he is learning one. its so good he is nothing to you know, i wish i didnt feel anything, i wish i could get to that point quicker than i am. i like what you say here "nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending" I have a choice, i can forget him and change the ending of this story. It could have gone on for even more years, and it would have ended the same way. He is a rotten apple. Link to post Share on other sites
taya Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 even though you arent trying to teach him a lesson, he is learning one. its so good he is nothing to you know, i wish i didnt feel anything, i wish i could get to that point quicker than i am. i like what you say here "nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending" I have a choice, i can forget him and change the ending of this story. It could have gone on for even more years, and it would have ended the same way. He is a rotten apple. yeah you right he is learning a lesson he may not treat the next girl the same way he did me beacuse he knows she can leave like how i did. and you already waited the 5 years so there is nothing you can do about it now but just to move on no more waiting so many good men out there and dont beat your self up you will get over him for me it wasent easy at first i talk to people about it some of them even called me a fool when i tell them lol i went out with other guys on dates and just had fun and slowly but surely i forgot about him:) and dont contact him anymore let him be the one runing you down now Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 yeah you right he is learning a lesson he may not treat the next girl the same way he did me beacuse he knows she can leave like how i did. and you already waited the 5 years so there is nothing you can do about it now but just to move on no more waiting so many good men out there and dont beat your self up you will get over him for me it wasent easy at first i talk to people about it some of them even called me a fool when i tell them lol i went out with other guys on dates and just had fun and slowly but surely i forgot about him:) and dont contact him anymore let him be the one runing you down now i just feel a whole lot of things. Silly for always being there for him , angry that i waited , freaked out because i dont know if the new girl is a lie, like he lied before , the whole thing just really hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
taya Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 i just feel a whole lot of things. Silly for always being there for him , angry that i waited , freaked out because i dont know if the new girl is a lie, like he lied before , the whole thing just really hurts. yeah i was reading you say he lied before saying he had a girl and he dident wow now that is crazy to tell that lie wow hes really tring to play like a fool omg ,have he even try contacting you yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 yeah i was reading you say he lied before saying he had a girl and he dident wow now that is crazy to tell that lie wow hes really tring to play like a fool omg ,have he even try contacting you yet? yes he lied about being away in a nother city working and that he had met a girl at he new job. I don't know why he did that, other than he got some kind of thrill out of it. When we were talking on the phone over the 4 weeks he was *away* there was no feelong that he wanted time away from me or there was an issue, so i dont know why he did it. Naah he hasn't tried to contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
BeautyInTheWorld Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 You know what's funny? I read all these posts and think the same thing about every ex I hear about..."What a douche." And then I think about my ex..."What a douche." And then I just imagine a bunch of awesome singletons like ourselves at a party. How did we fall for such mongs? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 it is different *this time* when i think about texting him and breaking NC , all i can think about is the pain he has caused, and how i feel like i don't really know him, and how all of this pain could be based around a very cruel lie. I know i am obsessing about whether the girl is a lie, but it is because if i knew for sure that it was a lie, i could give him up for good in about 10 seconds flat, and feel none of this pain. I would just feel complete revulsion for him. :sick: Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 You know what's funny? I read all these posts and think the same thing about every ex I hear about..."What a douche." And then I think about my ex..."What a douche." And then I just imagine a bunch of awesome singletons like ourselves at a party. How did we fall for such mongs? it would be an awesome night!! Dunno, we just give our hearts and don't realise who we are giving them to. Link to post Share on other sites
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