Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[MrCastle]

But would you put 5'8" Mayweather up against 6'7" Vitali Klitschko?

 

There is a reason why there are weight classes in boxing. Bigger = stronger...and typically more physically dominant.

 

That's great that you feel your small stature doesn't impede you in any or doesn't make you weaker. I'm a huge Manny Pacquiao fan and he's a midget compared to me (I took a picture with him in Vegas) but you couldn't pay me to fight him. Well...I guess I'd do it for 250K.

 

Anyways...we're just going to have to agree to disagree.

 

But I do think the amount of threads on LS about height and attraction shows that it's a pretty dominant subject when it comes to dating and finding partners.

 

 

I guess. My position is that we as a species have advanced well beyond our primal brain and things like height and muscles (for men) and large curves (for women) are not the be all, end all in attraction.

 

Your position is?

[MrCastle]

I really don't think this is as big a deal offline as people think. I see plenty of short men with women and plenty of big women with men.

 

I can assure you this is almost 100% an online thing. Before joining here I didn't know the height thing was even a "thing".

 

Man. I can't imagine if I had come here pre-success days and read some of this stuff.

 

Luckily I have had enough real world experience to know this stuff is garbage.

[KungFuJoe]

I guess. My position is that we as a species have advanced well beyond our primal brain and things like height and muscles (for men) and large curves (for women) are not the be all, end all in attraction.

 

Your position is?

 

That our wants and desired are created by two things:

 

Sociobiology and culture.

 

Sociobiology is the innate, born with, wants and desires. Caveman theory, as I've put it.

 

Culture is society, mass media, peer groups, social institutions, etc that "mold" our desires as we go through life and gain experience.

 

Put the two together, and you have the entire picture of attraction.

[Star Gazer]

But I do think the amount of threads on LS about height and attraction shows that it's a pretty dominant subject when it comes to dating and finding partners.

 

And that ain't gonna change any time soon. You can't argue your way into/out of attraction.

[Els]

So are you okay with a man "instinctually" feeling your place as a woman is in the home/kitchen?

 

after all, women in the masculine workforce is a very new thing, can we blame them if they don't like it and want us back home as we typically were? It's instinctual...right?

 

IMO work and relationships should be kept separate. Your analogy would be the equivalent of a female senior officer only hiring big and tall male cops because she feels only large men 'instictively' engender caution amongst criminals. Both equally unethical.

 

On the other hand, a woman desiring tall/big/etc men to have relationships with is equivalent to a man desiring slim/young/big-breasted/etc women to have relationships with. Frankly, I definitely agree that we aren't so much 'biologically programmed' so much as socially conditioned, but that would be digressing. If an individual is instinctively attracted to whatever, that's their prerogative.

 

That being said, I also think that there is just waaaay too much overgeneralization being done on LS. Not all women need height and muscle. Not all men need big boobs and tiny waists. Not all men need hairless pubes. Not all women need their man to be a social butterfly. Not all men need freshly-washed-and-checked vaginas or 'innies'. Not all women need big dicks. We could go on for pages, but the height/size thing is hardly the only generalization being made around here. (Yes, everything I've mentioned has had its own thread, usually spanning several pages )

Edited July 1, 2013 by Elswyth

[tbf]

(Yes, everything I've mentioned has had its own multiple exhaustive threads, usually spanning several pages )

FTFY for accuracy sakes!

[MrCastle]

IMO work and relationships should be kept separate. Your analogy would be the equivalent of a female senior officer only hiring big and tall male cops because she feels only large men 'instictively' engender caution amongst criminals. Both equally unethical.

 

On the other hand, a woman desiring tall/big/etc men to have relationships with is equivalent to a man desiring slim/young/big-breasted/etc women to have relationships with. Frankly, I definitely agree that we aren't so much 'biologically programmed' so much as socially conditioned, but that would be digressing. If an individual is instinctively attracted to whatever, that's their prerogative.

 

That being said, I also think that there is just waaaay too much overgeneralization being done on LS. Not all women need height and muscle. Not all men need big boobs and tiny waists. Not all men need hairless pubes. Not all women need their man to be a social butterfly. Not all men need freshly-washed-and-checked vaginas or 'innies'. Not all women need big dicks. We could go on for pages, but the height/size thing is hardly the only generalization being made around here. (Yes, everything I've mentioned has had its own thread, usually spanning several pages )

 

Oh yes they f**king do

[todreaminblue]

what i dont understand is why there has to be a wrong or a right or any form of argument about this in the first place......short is better, tall is better, smaller is less risk taller is less risk.....who truly knows who isnt a risk unless you know them for a very long time.......

 

 

 

 

isnt it just easier to accept everyone has their own rules for attraction and for most people it doesnt rely on just one characteristic...that really there is no basis to lay claim to anything other than your own personal preference...and you should be happy with who you choose.....because in the end...what matters most....is if you are happy with who you decide to be with and what you base your choice on is, who will make you happy....be it tall and hulking a short and wiry doesn't matter to anyone else but the individual..

 

 

getting it back on topic..every male has the capacity to hurt a female, as every female has the capacity to hurt a male....women might have to wait until they fall asleep though...before they hit them in the head with a baseball bat, or cut their testicles off with a bread knife while they are passed otu drunk.........but if individuals know the man or woman well enough before they date them chances are they wont date a freak.... ...its not realistic or logical getting to know the size and height and judging them on that ...

 

 

get to know the person thats logical then,you lessen the risk of actually getting hurt exponentially......

 

 

 

my new word for today...e x p o n e n t i a l l y....exponentially...yay...i used it in a sentence....:bunny:.... .deb

Edited July 1, 2013 by todreaminblue

[Anela]

You know, I'll just say this--put yourself in the other person's shoes, always.

 

Just do it for one second.

 

You're a struggling man. You're not sure what it is about you. You are neither tall, nor muscular.

 

You come on to this forum. Daily.

 

Read some of the stuff on here about how tall, muscular men (I.E., not you) are more desired, more "masculine", more "manly."

 

In other words, women value a physical body type that is not yours.

 

You are then asked to remain positive and shrug it off and not let it bother you.

 

I say this not just to you, but to anyone on this forum male or female.

 

Look in the mirror, and then imagine reading this forum, and every day a thread pops up about how undesired your body type is.

 

And if ever you try to speak on it or defend your body type, you are insulted, laughed at, or seen as bitter.

 

It's why I don't blink an eye when some of the stuggling men and women on here lash out. I can see where they're coming from.

 

I don't blame the short men just like I don't blame the skinny women who have to read about big boobs and big butts anytime they're on this forum.

 

Let them vent.

 

I've experienced it as an older (sigh) woman, who has been told that she should have prioritized dating when she hadn't passed her expiration date, and that men will always want the young hottie. once we're over 35, we're just not wanted. I got to read this just before I turned 35, over and over, thanks to this board - when I'd had my heart broken in a humiliating way, and other crap going on in my life - that hasn't stopped, it's only got worse. I've been called bitter if I speak out against anything that bothers me.

 

And then I'm called a liar when I commiserate with the short, lonely, bitter guys. because women never have a problem dating, we always get what we want. We're supposed to love other things about our lives, but the poor widdle men NEED their sex with college students. Or to trade in their wife for the younger model. and THEY get to wait until they're over 40 to have babies, finding their younger woman - they aren't told to settle down early to make sure they have those families. they want to sleep around, it's in the biology. it's instinct!

 

so, please, spare me tonight.

[MrCastle]

I've experienced it as an older (sigh) woman, who has been told that she should have prioritized dating when she hadn't passed her expiration date, and that men will always want the young hottie. once we're over 35, we're just not wanted. I got to read this just before I turned 35, over and over, thanks to this board - when I'd had my heart broken in a humiliating way, and other crap going on in my life - that hasn't stopped, it's only got worse. I've been called bitter if I speak out against anything that bothers me.

 

And then I'm called a liar when I commiserate with the short, lonely, bitter guys. because women never have a problem dating, we always get what we want. We're supposed to love other things about our lives, but the poor widdle men NEED their sex with college students. Or to trade in their wife for the younger model. and THEY get to wait until they're over 40 to have babies, finding their younger woman - they aren't told to settle down early to make sure they have those families. they want to sleep around, it's in the biology. it's instinct!

 

so, please, spare me tonight.

 

Hey, believe me, I was not attacking you at all, feel your plight, and agree with you.

 

The bolded is what I have a problem with.

 

Both sexes use this for shallow agendas.

 

Well don't get mad I like (blank) -- it's science!

 

It's instinct that men want younger, more fertile women! It's science!

 

It's not science, it's stupidity.

 

Anyway, for what it's worth, I have had more success with older women than anyone else so -- from a former struggler, thanks

[Anela]

Agreed. The only part I responded to was the bolded part I highlighted where the poster mentioned that it's unattractive for "nice guys" to be mad at women for liking tall men.

 

I'm merely saying, if you read what's often said about tall guys, muscular guys, "bad boys", or any other type that you're not--I can understand why you wouldn't be happy about it.

 

No, what makes me uncomfortable is that the woman was blamed for being in the position she was in, because the man involved was a tall man. His height has nothing to do with it! And yet again, the woman was faulted for the behaviour of a man.

 

I said that I have felt protected, regardless of a man's height. I've repeatedly stated that I messaged men who were 5'7" - one in particular I thought I would really get along with - and *I* was rejected. So I could turn it around and wonder what's wrong with me, when a short man doesn't even want me. He was bald, too, and wasn't rolling in money.

 

And then I'm told that I'm an exception, so I don't count. Because most women are scum.

[Anela]

By the way: my Dad is short, and he's admitted to insecurities in the past. He is also the only man to get my mother down the aisle - and three times at that!

 

"The poster" has a name, and is in a really foul mood tonight. Arrivederce.

[MrCastle]

No, what makes me uncomfortable is that the woman was blamed for being in the position she was in, because the man involved was a tall man. His height has nothing to do with it! And yet again, the woman was faulted for the behaviour of a man.

 

I said that I have felt protected, regardless of a man's height. I've repeatedly stated that I messaged men who were 5'7" - one in particular I thought I would really get along with - and *I* was rejected. So I could turn it around and wonder what's wrong with me, when a short man doesn't even want me. He was bald, too, and wasn't rolling in money.

 

And then I'm told that I'm an exception, so I don't count. Because most women are scum.

 

That statement's a little rough around the edges.

 

Are you saying that's how you can turn it around if you wanted to be bitter and attack all short men?

[MrCastle]

"The poster" has a name, and is in a really foul mood tonight. Arrivederce.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. You know I really like you. My apologies. I said "the poster" because I had forgotten who I had quoted and was too lazy to check back and reference the name. I wasn't trying to discredit you or ignore you in any way so I'm sorry if that's how it was perceived. Tried to PM you but your box is full. You can always vent to me if you want and I hope you know that.

[Xinreeki]

I hate how women only want tall ripped men. I'm 5'4''. What am I to do? go cry in the corner because I'm screwed in genetic lottery and there is nothing I can do about it when women I like pass me up for a guy a foot taller than I? And they make up some BS about feeling protected?

 

Your height will not matter to someone who loves you for who you are, it won't matter to someone who really cares about you. And THAT is the woman you want a relationship with, a woman who really loves you for who you are! My bf is about 5 foot 5 and I love him dearly.

 

But I do feel that your LS name is inaccurate, if you blame others for who they find attractive then you are not the "nice guy" you think you are... Instead, your bitterness is turning you into a scary angry guy.. *hides in bag*

 

Don't let it!!

Fight back against the bitterness!! And search out women who will love you for who you are... There are billions of women on the planet, so trust me, there ARE women out there who will love you for who you are, regardless of height. But that bitterness you are carrying around with you is a huge extra unattractive quality that isn't doing you any favors..

[Xinreeki]

Why is bitterness so bad?

 

I'm not angry. I don't hate women. I just hate how media brainwash them into liking tall, dark, handsome guys and are taught that values like honesty, loyalty and integrity are worthless if the guy isn't tall, dark and handsome. Maybe I resent them a bit for not fighting back vs that nonsense. But what if they just don't know better?

 

But you're tarring all women with the same brush! Not all women are the same!!!

 

Women can't help who they find attractive!! In the same way that men can't help who they find attractive!!

 

Would you want to be forced to be with a woman who was very unattractive to you? Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who you were not attracted to?

 

Plenty of shorter guys are in relationships too. But its not only the media's fault that a majority of women prefer taller guys. that is mostly down to biology, in the same way that the media is not only to blame for the majority of men choosing to date slim waisted, big breasted, smoking hot women over obese, small breasted, disfigured women.

 

You can not help who you are attracted to!

 

I love my bf for his kind loving nature and his positive attitude towards life.

 

But bitterness is a huge turn off to many women so you are narrowing your options even further if you succumb to bitterness and hatred of women.

 

You don't want that do you? Surely you don't want that?

 

You want to open up your options, you want to increase your chances of success as much as you can.

 

Positive, happy, confident guys are much more attractive than angry, bitter and depressed guys, that is just a fact of life, in the same way that most men prefer to date slim, big breasted, gorgeous women and most women prefer to date taller, positive, happy and confident guys!

 

But everyone is different, everyone is attracted to different things in different people!

 

So there are women out there who will love you for who you are! In the same way that there are men out there who will love obese, small breasted and disfigured women for who they are! You just have to search them out! And increase your chances of success as much as you can, by improving yourself and your attitude to women and dating as much as you can!

 

Don't let your bitterness win! Don't let it further decrease your chances of success with women! You owe it to yourself to give yourself a fighting chance of finding someone who is going to love you for who you are!!

 

Don't let bitterness stand in the way of that!! Fight back against it!! Increase your chances of success with women as much as you possibly can!!

[SteveC80]

But you're tarring all women with the same brush! Not all women are the same!!!

 

Women can't help who they find attractive!! In the same way that men can't help who they find attractive!!

 

Would you want to be forced to be with a woman who was very unattractive to you? Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who you were not attracted to?

 

Plenty of shorter guys are in relationships too. But its not only the media's fault that a majority of women prefer taller guys. that is mostly down to biology, in the same way that the media is not only to blame for the majority of men choosing to date slim waisted, big breasted, smoking hot women over obese, small breasted, disfigured women.

 

You can not help who you are attracted to!

 

I love my bf for his kind loving nature and his positive attitude towards life.

 

But bitterness is a huge turn off to many women so you are narrowing your options even further if you succumb to bitterness and hatred of women.

 

You don't want that do you? Surely you don't want that?

 

You want to open up your options, you want to increase your chances of success as much as you can.

 

Positive, happy, confident guys are much more attractive than angry, bitter and depressed guys, that is just a fact of life, in the same way that most men prefer to date slim, big breasted, gorgeous women and most women prefer to date taller, positive, happy and confident guys!

 

But everyone is different, everyone is attracted to different things in different people!

 

So there are women out there who will love you for who you are! In the same way that there are men out there who will love obese, small breasted and disfigured women for who they are! You just have to search them out! And increase your chances of success as much as you can, by improving yourself and your attitude to women and dating as much as you can!

 

Don't let your bitterness win! Don't let it further decrease your chances of success with women! You owe it to yourself to give yourself a fighting chance of finding someone who is going to love you for who you are!!

 

Don't let bitterness stand in the way of that!! Fight back against it!! Increase your chances of success with women as much as you possibly can!!

 

Saying short men are on the same level in the dating and attraction world as obese and disfigured women is really not gona make them feel much better here:laugh:

[KungFuJoe]

This topic has gotten WAY to complicated.

 

People like who/what they like and there ain't **** you or I can do about it.

 

You just have to hope that the person you like, likes you back.

 

The thing is...you can't get bitter or resent women just because you lack a trait that most women like. Hell...most women like Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum...I'm not bitter just because I look NOTHING like them.

[PJKino]

Saying short men are on the same level in the dating and attraction world as obese and disfigured women is really not gona make them feel much better here:laugh:

 

Yes even the "positive" posts about short men usually are not too complementary,comparing a short dude to obese and disfigured women is not very positive lol

 

It seems even the few women here who admit to dating short men talk about how his other traits attracted them as if its impossible for a women to actually be physically to a man whos not tall thats pretty depressing

[Mme. Chaucer]

If you like big, tall men, you like big and tall, hulking men. Fine. No complaints from me. But don't say it's because you feel protected. It's dumb.

 

Who are you to be in charge of what other people are FEELING?

 

It's perfectly reasonable and quite common for a woman to FEEL protected when she has a big man by her side.

 

That has nothing to do with whether she IS protected or not. I will point out to you, though, that a man who is violent to his partner very well might do an awesome job of protecting her from other men. Then maybe what she needs is a second big, tall, hulking man who'll step in and protect her from her abusive big, tall, hulking man.

 

Besides, the size of a person has no bearing upon whether they're an abusive person or not.

[Xinreeki]

Saying short men are on the same level in the dating and attraction world as obese and disfigured women is really not gona make them feel much better here:laugh:

 

I think you missed the point.

 

Everyone is attracted to different things in different types of people!!

 

That is the main message I'm trying to get across here! But bitterness isn't going to help you find someone!

 

There ARE women out there who are in love with short men, who are married to short men! That is a fact!

 

But getting mad at ALL men because the majority fall for slim, big busted, gorgeous women, when you are disfigured, is NOT going to help your situation! In the same way that getting mad at ALL women, just because the majority fall for tall men, isn't going to help your situation!

 

You want someone who is going to love you for you! No matter who you are or what you look like.

 

And there are billions of people out there! All liking different things and different types of people! True some might have to search a little longer than others, but bitterness and anger aren't going to help you find that special someone. Bitterness and anger is only going to scare off that special person when you finally meet them.

[Content]

This topic has gotten WAY to complicated.

 

People like who/what they like and there ain't **** you or I can do about it.

 

You just have to hope that the person you like, likes you back.

 

The thing is...you can't get bitter or resent women just because you lack a trait that most women like. Hell...most women like Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum...I'm not bitter just because I look NOTHING like them.

 

Yeah theyres always gonna be someone more universally attractive so what? Should the tall good looking guy with an average job complain a good looking famous guy will have more options then him?

 

Or are tall average or ugly men swarming with women because their tall? i doubt it so should they give up?

 

I think the problem is guys with insecuirites come on here and feel worse becasue lets be honest theyre's tons of damaged overly superficial people of both genders on here.

 

These sites dont represent the majority of people they represent alot of people with huge red flags and issues if youre looking to this site to feel better about your insecurites or the datign world in geenral they wont help they might just add to it.

[mesmerized]

This topic has gotten WAY to complicated.

 

People like who/what they like and there ain't **** you or I can do about it.

 

You just have to hope that the person you like, likes you back.

 

The thing is...you can't get bitter or resent women just because you lack a trait that most women like. Hell...most women like Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum...I'm not bitter just because I look NOTHING like them.

 

Amen to that. I had big tits, they got smaller as I thinned out. I even had a couple of guys telling me they're not as attracted to the new me as they were to the curvier me. I understand, it sucks but what can you do?

 

Saying what we like has very little to do with nature is just as dumb as saying it has everything to do with it, makes you sound uneducated and unaware. Nature and nurture both play a part in what women or men find attractive. Women have always and probably will always be attracted to strength in men, mentally and physically. That doesn't mean we want a crazy body builder type that's not natural, we want a healthy strong male and that doesn't mean a man who is stronger than US, but a man who also has something to say among other males. How many women here can honestly say they want to **** a man who lost in the battle with all his male counterparts? Now physically that translates to a stronger look, bigger and taller men have that look.

 

Now you all stop talking and send a big man my way.

[Content]

 

sHow many women here can honestly say they want to **** a man who lost in the battle with all his male counterparts? Now physically that translates to a stronger look, bigger and taller men have that look.

 

 

So who would win in a fight matters to you? as i said fellas do not take people here too seriously

[Xinreeki]

Yes even the "positive" posts about short men usually are not too complementary,comparing a short dude to obese and disfigured women is not very positive lol

 

It seems even the few women here who admit to dating short men talk about how his other traits attracted them as if its impossible for a women to actually be physically to a man whos not tall thats pretty depressing

 

Again you are completely missing the point! *Sighs*

 

There is more to attraction than just physical appearance, and to many people personality and emotional connection are actually much MORE important than physical appearance.

 

That is the positive in the dating world that short men need to focus on! Focus on the positives! Focus on the fact that there ARE women out there who love and who are married to short men! And leave the bitterness behind because its only holding you back!