MM in 6th Year of LT Affair

[2sunny]

Good morning ladies. I see some of you are still interested in my story, even though it has been pointed out numerous times in this thread that it is a pointless post.

 

What more can I say? I have been condemned, told I should burn in hell, accussed of being narcissicstic, should free my wife, etc. I didn't dig very deep, but it seems that there are mostly BS's on this site. As a WS willing to take the heat from posting here I thought perhaps some of you might have some deeper questions. I see a lot of you spend a great deal of time here based on your post counts, which is kind of interesting in and of itself to me.

 

The fact that you "haven't been digging very deep" shows - and it's your way of NOT understanding that your decisions and actions affect yourself AND others.

 

Ask your wife for permission to cheat... That would only be the right thing. That would give HER the OPPORTUNITY to make certain choices for HERSELF based on YOUR TRUTH.

 

That would at least be a good place to start being honest with yourself and others.

 

Dig deep - you aren't the man you portray yourself to be - you show the world a different man than YOU ACTUALLY ARE.

 

BEING AUTHENTIC is sheer freedom = which you can't possibly obtain with the lies you are living.

 

Start by getting honest!

[Sauron]

I told my wife that I am not perfect from the begining, and she knew I was what I was after the first time I cheated on her, she choose to stay. She is not a stupid women, and as one of you others said she probably knows, but she stays and so do I. I take care of her and whie its not perfect it's better than a lot.

 

Do you think I woke up one day and decided, I think I will get a mistress or 2, because everything is perfect at home. I tried for many years to make structural changes with her. You can blame me 100% for what I am doing and I accept it, but because your life blew up doesn't mean mine has to or will.

Edited August 21, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Inflammatory remarks removed

[scatterd]

I know that no matter what anyone says you are going to continue cheating. You are not the first nor the last person to do this. I do believe that one day you will be discovered it's just a matter of when. That also happens everyday. As you stated you are a serial cheater. I was wondering whether or not you had guilt or thought of how it would feel if this was someone else. You did state that you hoped neither OW, nor wife ends up here. I am assuming there is some kind of caring. You say your wife does not fulfill you sexually, but does she fulfill anything? It is kind of puzzling to me on why you continue to keep her around. The reaction you are getting is based on that. We are all puzzled to why someone keeps another person they do not love around. Maybe you could tell the reasons why you keep her. I under stand why you feel attacked, but there is otherPeople here that have been hurt through cheating. They are trying to get you to under stand how bad it hurts. Not all of us are beloved spouses either. Some are or have been OW or OM also. You have to admit that they have good points.

[scatterd]

Sauron

You are posting here also. Yes it does take a while to get many post. Many people come here in pain and most of these people are here to help. What is wrong with that?

[eleanorrigby]

12,467 posts? How many months or years does it take to get to 12,467 posts reading about people like me everyday. I think one of you had over 28,000. Do you have a life outside of this place?

 

I told my wife that I am not perfect from the begining, and she knew I was what I was after the first time I cheated on her, she choose to stay. She is not a stupid women, and as one of you others said she probably knows, but she stays and so do I. I take care of her and whie its not perfect it's better than a lot.

 

Do you think I woke up one day and decided, I think I will get a mistress or 2, because everything is perfect at home. I tried for many years to make structural changes with her. You can blame me 100% for what I am doing and I accept it, but because your life blew up doesn't mean mine has to or will.

 

You said you told your wife you were not perfect in the beginning. I'm wondering, did you tell her specifically that you can not maintain a monogamous relationship, or was this just the general "not perfect" that we all are?

 

How exactly do you take care of your wife? What do you mean by that?

 

(also who cares how many posts someone has on a forum? Why the rudeness?)

[scatterd]

Sauron

I also want to welcome you to LS. I do think you will give people some insight on a serial cheater.You might find it is not so bad here. You will see different point of views. BSs, OW, OM, and many others.come here. we have supported, and learned from each other. You are not the only person that is cheating.

[Sauron]

I think that I have said as much as I can. It's been nice chatting with you all.

[scatterd]

Good enough, Have a good day.

[2long]

Good morning ladies. I see some of you are still interested in my story, even though it has been pointed out numerous times in this thread that it is a pointless post.

 

Hey, I ain't no lady. ...but it probably was a pointless post.

 

What more can I say? I have been condemned, told I should burn in hell, accussed of being narcissicstic, should free my wife, etc. I didn't dig very deep, but it seems that there are mostly BS's on this site.

 

On this 4um, at least. What do you expect? How many active waywards do you know who want 2 stop their fantasy life? BSs here, on the other hand, are usually here trying 2 figure out what went wrong for their spouse 2 decide 2 cheat on them (who they're only just starting 2 realize is not the person they imagined them 2 be).

 

As a WS willing to take the heat from posting here I thought perhaps some of you might have some deeper questions. I see a lot of you spend a great deal of time here based on your post counts, which is kind of interesting in and of itself to me.

 

Interesting in what way? I have my doubts you'll ac2ally learn anything from this 'interest' of yours.

 

-ol' 2long

[2long]

I told my wife that I am not perfect from the begining, and she knew I was what I was after the first time I cheated on her, she choose to stay. She is not a stupid women, and as one of you others said she probably knows, but she stays and so do I. I take care of her and whie its not perfect it's better than a lot.

 

She doesn't know. That's obvious from the way you said this. Rube Goldberg rationalization. You make it sound as if it wouldn't be big news for her 2 be told the truth, so why not stop pretending you're assuming that she knows and tell her the truth and confirm it?

 

Do you think I woke up one day and decided, I think I will get a mistress or 2, because everything is perfect at home. I tried for many years to make structural changes with her.

 

What the hell is a "structural change with her?" You do know the basics, right? That you can't change her, only yourself. As for whether I think you woke up and decided 2 cheat? Who cares? The fact is that you're cheating. You certainly haven't woken up and decided 2 stop it.

 

You can blame me 100% for what I am doing and I accept it, but because your life blew up doesn't mean mine has to or will.

 

I don't think yours will "blow up", unless your W discovers you're still cheating on her. But I do think it "has to", yes.

 

-ol' 2long

Edited August 21, 2012 by 2long

[nofool4u]

I told my wife that I am not perfect from the begining, and she knew I was what I was after the first time I cheated on her, she choose to stay. She is not a stupid women, and as one of you others said she probably knows, but she stays and so do I. I take care of her and whie its not perfect it's better than a lot.

 

So she knows that you are still cheating? Did you ask her if she is ok with that?

 

You can blame me 100% for what I am doing and I accept it

 

Someone who accepts 100% their actions don't try to make excuses, such as you have and trying to justify what you are doing by discussing your wife's weight and "letting herself go".

 

 

but because your life blew up doesn't mean mine has to

 

On the contrary, if you don't deserve your life to be turned upside down and a wife that leaves you taking half of what you have, then who does? Someone that honors their marriage?

[nofool4u]

I think that I have said as much as I can. It's been nice chatting with you all.

 

Buh bye

[canuckprincess]

I told my wife that I am not perfect from the begining, and she knew I was what I was after the first time I cheated on her, she choose to stay. She is not a stupid women, and as one of you others said she probably knows, but she stays and so do I. I take care of her and whie its not perfect it's better than a lot.

 

Do you think I woke up one day and decided, I think I will get a mistress or 2, because everything is perfect at home. I tried for many years to make structural changes with her. You can blame me 100% for what I am doing and I accept it, but because your life blew up doesn't mean mine has to or will.

 

 

Would you be happier if your wife knew and said it was ok for you to continue your relationship with your girlfriend? Do you hide your cell phone from your wife like most cheaters do or is your wife clueless? You'd be suprised how many well educated people are simply clueless to what's going on around them. I mean almost 7 years and she doesn't suspect athing, oh come on she can't be that stupid, or can she??

[nofool4u]

Would you be happier if your wife knew and said it was ok for you to continue your relationship with your girlfriend?

 

If his wife knew he is still cheating and didn't care, then this thread would be a moot point.

[woinlove]

If his wife knew he is still cheating and didn't care, then this thread would be a moot point.

 

Doesn't sound like his W knows. But, there'd still be the OOW. From what he posted doesn't seem like the long-term OW knew about the others either.

[beach]

I told my wife that I am not perfect from the begining, and she knew I was what I was after the first time I cheated on her, she choose to stay. She is not a stupid women, and as one of you others said she probably knows, but she stays and so do I. I take care of her and whie its not perfect it's better than a lot.

 

Do you think I woke up one day and decided, I think I will get a mistress or 2, because everything is perfect at home. I tried for many years to make structural changes with her. You can blame me 100% for what I am doing and I accept it, but because your life blew up doesn't mean mine has to or will.

 

Here's a news flash = everyone of us IS 100% responsible for HOW WE participate!

 

I find justifications and half truths and lying by OMISSION behavior that is subpar and sub standard.

 

YOU can choose to THINK its ok - in the end YOU deal with YOUR own conscience!

 

The fact that you'd be unhappy IF/WHEN your kids find out should be a good enough indicator that YOU'RE not thrilled with your own behavior and how you're CHOOSING to participate.

 

Good luck with that.

 

And you've made assumptions here that all these posters are women. Some are men!

[2long]

As a WS willing to take the heat from posting here I thought perhaps some of you might have some deeper questions.

 

I can't think of any "deep questions" 2 ask of such a shallow story. Can you give an example of what such a question might look like?

 

-ol' 2long

[2long]

I think that I have said as much as I can. It's been nice chatting with you all.

 

I was waiting for it 2 get really interesting, but it never did.

 

Best of luck. The best thing that could happen for you would be for your W or one of your kids 2 discover your serial cheating. I mean that sincerely, 2.

 

-ol' 2long

[eleanorrigby]

I can't think of any "deep questions" 2 ask of such a shallow story. Can you give an example of what such a question might look like?

 

-ol' 2long

 

I'm disappointed that sauron left so quickly myself. (especially after professing that he could take the heat.) This could have been more enlightening and helpful for some of the posters here. Shame.

 

I have more questions if he comes back:

 

sauron, after you cheated on your wife with her best friend and she caught you in the act. What happened?

Did you do the "oh honey it won't happen again! I'm so sorry!" routine? Or did you tell her to get over it and deal with it? Or was it never discussed at all?

[2long]

I'm disappointed that sauron left so quickly myself. (especially after professing that he could take the heat.) This could have been more enlightening and helpful for some of the posters here. Shame.

 

Yep. When you look back on the stories we've seen here over the years and our own sitches, from a detached perspective (I haven't felt any pain over my wife's affair in several years now), it's easier 2 see how the reactions 2 criticism by the BSs and the WSs that have come here aren't all that different. But since most BSs have a lot more at stake 2 bring them 2 an infidelity forum in the first place, they're more likely 2 stick around than the active WS is.

 

After all, who'd want 2 subject themselves 2 being told that their treatment of an innocent BS is unconscionable, when all they have 2 do is go home OR 2 their affair partner and reassure themselves that their choice 2 stay on the fence is not only fun but doesn't really harm anybody anyway, so long as the important people are kept in the dark (the AP isn't important, sorry)?

 

BSs - at least the majority who stick around - stick around because the alternative 2 getting advice, even harsh advice, is prolonged suffering.

 

I really think it could be that simple.

 

-ol' 2long

[Tenacity]

Guess the OP is gone, which is fine, but I still wanted to comment.

 

I am a (ex) WS (not a BS), by the way. I am wondering if the W would still be "happier than she ever has been" if she knew what was really going on.

 

And, I wonder if the OP would be so happy with things if he found out his W was cheating. I doubt it. It's amazing how that changes the perspective You know... good for the goose, and all that.

Edited August 22, 2012 by Tenacity

[William]

I want to thank our respondents for predominantly being on-topic and civil. I had to moderate only one member here, and I consider that a resounding success. As the thread starter has indicated he's concluded his participation, I'll close this to comment. Should he desire anything further, just alert on this post and make the request.