Furious Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Well after almost 7 years, it seems to be a sturdy house of cards. I do understand that at any moment it could explode. I think I find that intriguing though. I know someone who sounds very familiar to you. My best girlfriend's husband had another woman and he also enjoyed having multiple women on the side. He also had a large ego and chest thumping bravado and seemed to enjoy taking risks. I remember one night when a group of us were out, he made a comment that if his wife divorced him he would lead the parade. At the time his wife didn't know about his double life and if course we didn't know either. Well, about five years ago the s**t hit the fan, and he went into panic overdrive, and the chest thumping bravado vanished and he became frantic that the jig was up. His kids keep him at arms length, he lives alone now and is still the man about town but he's aged and has health problems. It's rather sad. Careful what you wish for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sauron Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 Thank you all for your comments. I truly hope that neither my wife or my OW end up on this space anytime in the near future. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Thank you all for your comments. I truly hope that neither my wife or my OW end up on this space anytime in the near future. Why don't you set your wife free so she can find someone who won't do this to her? Life is too short and you are wasting more of her short time on this earth. And no, the whole, "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" would be a load of bunk. Time and affection is being stolen from her, she just isn't sure why. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
woinlove Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I would like to point out for everyone that is blasting this poster about how he's "off to a great start in this forum" that he did try and post it in the OW/OM forum and it was moved over here. Good point. I think his reference to bitter was to some OW/OM, not to BS, as someone assumed because it is on this forum. The message is not going to be reassuring or uplifting for any BS (or anyone who places a high value on honesty, openness and respect) but other than the fact that he is a self-described serial cheater who seems to prefer to control what his W thinks is reality, I don't see his OP was meant to take a dig at BS. Just a glimpse into the mind of one serial cheater. Since his AP is single, this is the forum for him, while WS with married APs post in either forum. Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Thank you all for your comments. I truly hope that neither my wife or my OW end up on this space anytime in the near future. I wish your wife was here so I could give her a virtual hug.(or two) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 OP, by not being honest with your wife, you are keeping her form perhaps finding happiness in her life with someone who will only want to be with her. Why do you choose to take that choice away from her by not being honest? The question was raised about what if this were happening to your daughter ( or son)? how would you feel if you knew their spouse was a serial cheater and having a long term affair behind their back? Would you think that was okay? If not, then why is it okay to do it to your wife? Don't you care about her at all? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 The M is a sham since its built on your lies. You use a lot of justifications and finger pointing at your W - which isn't kind or loving - so no wonder you have the kind of M that looks empty and broken... Yet YOU stay. Did you have a question? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 You write as though you're innocent in this mess. Doing NOTHING is something! You could have left - yet you stay and still use the adult kids as your poor excuse - seems you're probably afraid you may be alone. I feel sad and sorry most for your W and the OW... They are BOTH being short changed by YOUR selfish choices. You look in the mirror - you can't tell me that thought makes YOU happy about what you've done to the lives of so many you claim to love. The ONLY one you love is you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Well I am an atheist, so no hell for me. More 2 the point, you're a narcisist, so even if there were a hell, you wouldn't face it before it was time 2. Bragging, I wouldn't say I am bragging. I am sorry that you are so vindicative, you don't know me or my situation other than the sliver I shared here. I hope that whatever happened in your life that it gets better for you. Little more than what you've shared needs 2 be known about such si2ations and the narcisists who thrive in them. I'm an atheist, 2, so I don't believe much of what organized religion wants us 2 believe. And though what's right or wrong is in fact relative, this kind of lifestyle choice is so far in the tails of the bell curve that it isn't rocket surgery 2 recognize it as wrong. People who "follow their hearts" and think that the chemical high of falling in love is in fact love cause all kinds of collateral damage in their search for true love. But narcisists aren't really doing even that, are they? They're just using people. It's what they do. It's all that they are. -ol' 2long 3 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 And that kind of narcissism shows as not really showing passion for either of the two women involved. Heartless kind of mentality. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Thank you all for your comments. I truly hope that neither my wife or my OW end up on this space anytime in the near future. Because you're only capable of thinking of yourself. Consequences - a guy like you thinks he's above consequences... Well let me tell you - they COULD meet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sauron Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 Again all very predictable responses. I am happy, my wife is probably happier than she has been in years, my OW is happy. And please, this is not bragging, it just is what it is. I truly apologize to those of you that are offended by my post or to some my very existence. It was not my intent to harm, insult or offend. My intent was to share my story which I have done. Good luck to you all. Link to post Share on other sites
SidLyon Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Thank you for sharing your story, although I'm not sure why you bothered given that you've claimed (twice now!) that "all" the responses (presumably both nice and nasty, supportive and unsupportive) were very predictable (presumably by you). Despite you predicting the responses, you seem annoyed and defensive about many of them. If you genuinely want a discussion, I'd be very interested in knowing why you think your wife deserves to be betrayed or why you feel entitled to betray her. My reasons for asking this are I was in a very similar position to your wife for many years, with a somewhat similar WH, then we had a d-day. I still haven't understood really why he thought that way, and wonder if it's a common thing for a certain type of WH. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I don't see how Sauron is taking away anybody's choices. These women are sentient beings. (I'm assuming we're not talking about plastic blowup dolls here.) The W is free to carry on with the status quo of their M, burying her head in the sand about her H's goings-on. She is also free to install a GPS in his car, and bug his phone. She is free to divorce him with the proof and take him to the cleaners, if she so wishes. Or she is free to take her own lover(s) on the side. The OW is also free to see anyone else she wants. And the best part - neither one of them has to clue Sauron in on any of it. Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Sauron is "taking away" his wife's right 2 make her own choices by lying 2 her for the past 7 years, at least. ...but my response was predictable! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 (edited) Again all very predictable responses. Not as predictable as yours. I'm not being snarky with that, either. People with disorders like yours aren't hard 2 predict. I am happy,I believe you. my wife is probably happier than she has been in years,I don't believe you. At least you said "probably," though your judgment is impaired. And please, this is not bragging, it just is what it is.I didn't say you were bragging, but you are obviously pretty smug about what you've managed 2 accomplish. It was not my intent to harm, insult or offend. My intent was to share my story which I have done. Good luck to you all.So, it's a good story? Why not tell it 2 your wife, then? -ol' 2long Edited August 21, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Civility and respect 6 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Sauron, would it be okay with you if you found out your wife has an OM? Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Again all very predictable responses. I am happy, my wife is probably happier than she has been in years, my OW is happy. And please, this is not bragging, it just is what it is. I truly apologize to those of you that are offended by my post or to some my very existence. It was not my intent to harm, insult or offend. My intent was to share my story which I have done. Good luck to you all. I personally am not offended as it seems to be working right now for you and you seem to perceive everyone is as happy as you are with the arrangement. I think you are fairly typical for someone comfortable in this triangle. It's all about you...as it should be I suppose. Do you worry of your W discovering your long-term OW? What do you think would happen? Do you worry of your OW discovering your other OW? How do you think she would feel if she did? As for your children, well they despise both divorce and infidelity at any age. Good luck with that one. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I personally am not offended as it seems to be working right now for you and you seem to perceive everyone is as happy as you are with the arrangement. I think you are fairly typical for someone comfortable in this triangle. It's all about you...as it should be I suppose. Do you worry of your W discovering your long-term OW? What do you think would happen? Do you worry of your OW discovering your other OW? How do you think she would feel if she did? As for your children, well they despise both divorce and infidelity at any age. Good luck with that one. To me that may vary by persons. I found out, all my siblings and myself, that my mom had had an affair when we were young. The affair didn't bother us, what bothered us was such a blatant red flag about their marriage and the continuation of said marriage for decades longer. That actually bothered us more than the affair. For us, it was more of a symptom of a bigger problem than the problem itself. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Again all very predictable responses. I am happy, my wife is probably happier than she has been in years, my OW is happy. And please, this is not bragging, it just is what it is. I truly apologize to those of you that are offended by my post or to some my very existence. It was not my intent to harm, insult or offend. My intent was to share my story which I have done. Good luck to you all. Don't worry about it. Afterall, we are all just "bitter":rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I don't see how Sauron is taking away anybody's choices. These women are sentient beings. (I'm assuming we're not talking about plastic blowup dolls here.) The W is free to carry on with the status quo of their M, burying her head in the sand about her H's goings-on. Correct me if I'm wrong, but she only knows about his screwing around from long ago and isn't aware he is still abusing her in this way. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Sauron I am not at all offended by you. However, I do have questions. For some reason, you put me off when I asked: How you would feel if it was your daughter. Is that something you have considered?. I am still wondering that same question? Your story has has my curiosity going. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 If a man was cheating on his daughter, I assure you, unless he doesn't care about her, that he would want to ring her husband's neck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sauron Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 Good morning ladies. I see some of you are still interested in my story, even though it has been pointed out numerous times in this thread that it is a pointless post. What more can I say? I have been condemned, told I should burn in hell, accussed of being narcissicstic, should free my wife, etc. I didn't dig very deep, but it seems that there are mostly BS's on this site. As a WS willing to take the heat from posting here I thought perhaps some of you might have some deeper questions. I see a lot of you spend a great deal of time here based on your post counts, which is kind of interesting in and of itself to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Good morning ladies. I see some of you are still interested in my story, even though it has been pointed out numerous times in this thread that it is a pointless post. What more can I say? I have been condemned, told I should burn in hell, accussed of being narcissicstic, should free my wife, etc. Ya, and....? Link to post Share on other sites
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