StillReigning Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I see a ton of threads on this site about good looks and money and very few threads about the power of attitude Today I saw a really huge example of what a difference it makes. I was at work and talking to somebody who was clearly having an off day and just didn't seem very interested in connecting with anybody. 10 Minutes later, I was talking to somebody else who was very upbeat and was sending a ton of positive energy and this was literally night and day. The first conversation was depressing and boring, the second conversation was just fantastic For all the people in here struggling in dating, this is probably your biggest problem. You're likely boring and depressing to talk to because you're not comfortable in your own skin plus you send all this negative energy towards other people. The fact is that how you feel inside is contagious, people want to be others who are uplifting, they don't want to be around people who are insecure and bitter I've never met a person with the right attitude who struggled in dating
espec10001 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I see a ton of threads on this site about good looks and money and very few threads about the power of attitude Today I saw a really huge example of what a difference it makes. I was at work and talking to somebody who was clearly having an off day and just didn't seem very interested in connecting with anybody. 10 Minutes later, I was talking to somebody else who was very upbeat and was sending a ton of positive energy and this was literally night and day. The first conversation was depressing and boring, the second conversation was just fantastic For all the people in here struggling in dating, this is probably your biggest problem. You're likely boring and depressing to talk to because you're not comfortable in your own skin plus you send all this negative energy towards other people. The fact is that how you feel inside is contagious, people want to be others who are uplifting, they don't want to be around people who are insecure and bitter I've never met a person with the right attitude who struggled in dating No **** sherlock. You deserve a prize for that one!
USMCHokie Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I've never met a person with the right attitude who struggled in dating Chicken or egg...? Did they not struggle with dating because they had the right attitude, or did they have the right attitude because they didn't struggle with dating...? And how can you be certain which it is...? 1
brahmabull117 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Chicken or egg...? Did they not struggle with dating because they had the right attitude, or did they have the right attitude because they didn't struggle with dating...? And how can you be certain which it is...? I've met average guys (average income, average looks) who did great with women and I've met average guys who did horrible with women At that point, it's definitely about the right attitude because the guy with the great attitude has no reason to be like that - he's just comfortable in his own skin
Author StillReigning Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Chicken or egg...? Did they not struggle with dating because they had the right attitude, or did they have the right attitude because they didn't struggle with dating...? And how can you be certain which it is...? I've met average guys (average income, average looks) who did great with women and I've met average guys who did horrible with women At that point, it's definitely about the right attitude because the guy with the great attitude has no reason to be like that - he's just comfortable in his own skin
USMCHokie Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I've met average guys (average income, average looks) who did great with women and I've met average guys who did horrible with women At that point, it's definitely about the right attitude because the guy with the great attitude has no reason to be like that - he's just comfortable in his own skin Define "that."
Author StillReigning Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Define "that." Comfortable, confident, upbeat, enthusiastic about life, etc...
tomhomme13 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 This is total hogwash. People who know me know that I'm the funniest, most enthusiastic, ridiculously smart guy and *yet* I have trouble dating. You know what the problem is because I have below average looks. I'm 6 ft tall, 175 lbs, and fit, make good money (6 figures), and girls are just not that attracted to me. I can make them laugh, have fun dates, but after a few dates, it leads to NOTHING. So no, there's just some of us who no matter what the attitude and resources just don't have *IT*. Whatever *IT* may be.
USMCHokie Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Comfortable, confident, upbeat, enthusiastic about life, etc... "At that point, it's definitely about the right attitude because the guy with the great attitude has no reason to be comfortable, confident, upbeat, enthusiastic about life, etc...?" Accurate...?
Author StillReigning Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 "At that point, it's definitely about the right attitude because the guy with the great attitude has no reason to be comfortable, confident, upbeat, enthusiastic about life, etc...?" I've met guys who were average in life who had a great attitude and guys who were very successful who were miserable ***s
MrCastle Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I think the success has to come before the happiness. How can you be happy and optimistic about dating if you have nothing to be happy about? 1
Author StillReigning Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 I think the success has to come before the happiness. How can you be happy and optimistic about dating if you have nothing to be happy about? I disagree literally 10,000,000% Besides, you'll NEVER be successful socially with the wrong attitude. Women have no interest in being around insecure and bitter dudes
USMCHokie Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I think the success has to come before the happiness. How can you be happy and optimistic about dating if you have nothing to be happy about? It can't be a coincidence that it's the people who are successful at dating who tend to have a "better attitude." I don't think I've ever encountered anyone who has been successful at dating and had a "poor attitude." Here's an interesting spin on the same idea: Can success exist without confidence? Or is confidence an inevitable byproduct of success...?
Author StillReigning Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 It can't be a coincidence that it's the people who are successful at dating who tend to have a "better attitude." I don't think I've ever encountered anyone who has been successful at dating and had a "poor attitude." Here's an interesting spin on the same idea: Can success exist without confidence? God this is so wrong. Nobody is successful without the right attitude Attitude comes first because there's no way to be successful without it
MrCastle Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 It can't be a coincidence that it's the people who are successful at dating who tend to have a "better attitude." I don't think I've ever encountered anyone who has been successful at dating and had a "poor attitude." Here's an interesting spin on the same idea: Can success exist without confidence? Or is confidence an inevitable byproduct of success...? It's usually someone on the outside looking in that tries to gives you advice "Dude, stop worrying about height, who cares." -6 ft tall guy "Dude, stop worrying about race, no one cares what color you are" -White guy "Dude, you have to stay positive. That's all you have to do. Think happy thoughts" -Guy who gets laid every weekend Fact is, if you're not in it, you really don't know. I stick by my claim that success builds confidence in dating. If you're forever alone, spending your weekends indoors by yourself, dateless, where does this happy feeling come into play? What gives you the motivation to go out and puruse, and enjoy the dating world?
ThaWholigan Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I think the success has to come before the happiness. How can you be happy and optimistic about dating if you have nothing to be happy about? I was happy and optimistic about it before I ever got close to getting laid..... 1
MrCastle Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I was happy and optimistic about it before I ever got close to getting laid..... Rejections, friend zones, dateless nights--you were happy and optimistic about the future? What gave you the idea that things would eventually change?
Author StillReigning Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 "Dude, you have to stay positive. That's all you have to do. Think happy thoughts" -Guy who gets laid every weekend People weren't born getting laid everyday What is it that separates the average guy (avg money/looks) who gets laid all the time versus the average guy who is terrible with women? Attitude, that's it
USMCHokie Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 What gives you the motivation to go out and puruse, and enjoy the dating world? Hope. .....
USMCHokie Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Go out and pursue* **** you LS editing :lmao: I peruse my women like I peruse shoes.
ThaWholigan Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Rejections, friend zones, dateless nights--you were happy and optimistic about the future? What gave you the idea that things would eventually change? Of course I was. Nothing ever stays the same. I had been rejected, yes. I had been in the friendzone once and didn't cry about it. Sh*t happens. I used to be down about it a lot. Then I stopped being down about it. I started to feel better and more confident about myself. I got better at talking to girls, got bolder. Basically, I am naturally an optimist. I always think things will work out, even if they don't initially, they will eventually. A gift from my optimistic father. I knew things would change the moment I started to notice more positive reactions. I didn't even think I would get the chance I did with the girl, but it was the right time and I luckily knew what to say because I told myself it would work out. Sure enough, I had a link, then it came through .
MrCastle Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 People weren't born getting laid everyday What is it that separates the average guy (avg money/looks) who gets laid all the time versus the average guy who is terrible with women? Attitude, that's it No, I agree it's always better to keep a positive attitude than a negative one, but I don't think that's all it takes to be successful. And what I've seen typically, people who give that advice are ones who are successful and getting what they want out of dating. If you take that away, I hardly believe they'd feel the same.
USMCHokie Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Of course I was. Nothing ever stays the same. I had been rejected, yes. I had been in the friendzone once and didn't cry about it. Sh*t happens. I used to be down about it a lot. Then I stopped being down about it. I started to feel better and more confident about myself. I got better at talking to girls, got bolder. Basically, I am naturally an optimist. I always think things will work out, even if they don't initially, they will eventually. A gift from my optimistic father. I knew things would change the moment I started to notice more positive reactions. I didn't even think I would get the chance I did with the girl, but it was the right time and I luckily knew what to say because I told myself it would work out. Sure enough, I had a link, then it came through . I'm not even going to say anything. :laugh: 1
ThaWholigan Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I'm not even going to say anything. :laugh: It's the truth If I was bitter and upset, I would never have gotten the reactions I got, and nothing would ever have changed. I had to be positive BEFORE I got that.
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