Good enough to sleep with but not date?

[thatone]

Thatone, I dont regret that I slept with him. In fact I dont regret meeting him. Yep, he ate the pie and I enjoyed every minute of it. What irks the hell out of me is that yes afterwards he did say he didnt want anything exclusive. After a few months he did say he missed me, he did say he couldnt wait to see me, he did talk to me and reassured me when I doubted things, he told me it okay to fall in love, and he stated he care about me yesterday when I told him I was starting to care about him and thats why I needed to move on.

 

Ok... maybe something is not adding up with me. But he was already getting the goods. Why continue to play along and say those things if I am telling you I am falling in love. That is crazy to me.

 

he gave you all the signs in the world.

 

saying all of those things is easy. doing things that back those statements up is impossible unless the saying is genuine.

[veggirl]

he gave you all the signs in the world.

 

saying all of those things is easy. doing things that back those statements up is impossible unless the saying is genuine.

 

Exactly! Words mean nothing if they aren't backed up by actions.

 

I mean really, if a guy truly misses you when you're not around and always can't wait to see you and cares about you WHY isn't he your boyfriend? That's all that matters--his actions. If actions and words don't match up, you go by his actions. Always.

[shayla]

At this point I am humiliated and embarrassed. It really makes me think. Why would I allow myself to go through all of this?

No I was never oblivious. I just allowed him to woo me back in. I did delete all messages, all calls, delete and blocked him on Facebook, delete his number, and even deleted his email address. For once it has hit me. And it doesn't feel good. I'm sure he thinks I am a petty minded dimwit.

 

F*ck what he thinks, he is irrelevant! It's time for you to do those special things for yourself! First things first. Be gentle to yourself and get rid of things that aren't good for you....LIKE HIM

[MrNate 2.0]

Seems the women are getting quite passionate about this. I will have to use this subject as a talking point for future conversations with the ladies.

[2sunny]

Sid, originally he asked to take me out to a dinner and movie. I wasnt really into him at the time so I didnt take him up on that offer. Few weeks goes by and we start hanging out at my place. I told him that if I was going to be intimate with someone it would have to be exclusive. He AGREED! I told him I didnt want to have sex just to be having sex. He UNDERSTOOD! It was ALL a ploy to get me into the sack. The only thing he stressed and that he didnt believe in titles and it was too early to make things official but he wasnt closed to idea of a relationship. When we started having sex the mask came off. He didnt want a relationship because of work, he didnt want to spend his money because it wasnt the responsible thing to do, and he didnt care if we saw other people. But it was never too early to **** me?

 

The first night he stayed at my house he went outside around midnight and stayed for two hours. He did this twice before I called him out on it. He said he was talking to his brother on the phone------> bs! His phone vibrates allllll night every night we are together. No one and I mean one phones goes off in the manner it does just from friends. Even on fb there are signs of girls he may possibly entertain.

 

Playa to the max!

 

We train people how to treat us.

 

He's been trained that he doesn't need to make effort and he still gets sex from you.

 

So ----> retrain him! Allow him to experience absolute silence from YOUR side. No need to make ANY effort for a guy who doesn't make effort to treat you well - VERY well!

 

Never settle!

 

You have ALLOWED this - so stop allowing it.

 

 

He's a complete tool!!!

 

I hope you've used protection!!!

[snug.bunny]

Sid, originally he asked to take me out to a dinner and movie. I wasnt really into him at the time so I didnt take him up on that offer. Few weeks goes by and we start hanging out at my place.

Wells I can kinda see how that could send the wrong signal.

 

You basically gave off the impression, that he doesn't have to take you out, but instead can come over to your house and fool around.

 

Not saying the outcome would have been different, but the next time a guy invites to take you out, graciously accept. (unless you're not interested, in which case, declining altogether would be best)

 

 

[SmileFace]

Seems the women are getting quite passionate about this. I will have to use this subject as a talking point for future conversations with the ladies.

 

Sure way to get yourself laid

 

"oh, hunny I am sorry he used you like that" ... Nate says as sitting up in bed

SCORE! Hehe

[zanesfan]

F*ck what he thinks, he is irrelevant! It's time for you to do those special things for yourself! First things first. Be gentle to yourself and get rid of things that aren't good for you....LIKE HIM

 

Your right that chump is irrelevant! Hell Im intelligent, smart, nurturing, I have things going for myself I dont have to settle. On to bigger and better things.

 

Mrsmileface and Nate... I dont see the humor in this whatsoever. But again if thats the only way you can get some... then by all means. I just hope you are prepared for what happens when you get up.

 

Snugbunny... when he asked me out I did decline initially. I had originally stopped talking to him for a few weeks. I was without a car because my car was wrecked at the moment and he was without license and a car; it was a mess in the beginning. So yes, he came to my home with food he bought, he cooked, we ate, and talked.

Edited June 12, 2012 by zanesfan

[SmileFace]

Mr. Smile face... That's my fathers name.

 

Stop being so serious I am rooting for you.

[2sunny]

Why did he have no license and no car?

[zanesfan]

You have to get insurance to get a drivers license here and I think they were expired. But he has recently got his license. Money issues maybe? And he claimed he sold his truck for cash before he moved here.

[2sunny]

You have to get insurance to get a drivers license here and I think they were expired. But he has recently got his license. Money issues maybe? And he claimed he sold his truck for cash before he moved here.

 

Find a healthy guy - who is grounded and has good things to add to your life.

 

Don't settle for a guy that makes you wonder and drags you down.

[dasein]

He is cake eating.

 

No he isn't. Or rather nothing in OP or subsequent suggests he is.

 

Thread, replies and so many others here is a testament to exactly why men get turned off or question the relationship prospect when faced with the typical female agenda today.

 

OP got sex with a hot guy she wanted to bang. Wasn't happy with just that, so asked for exclusivity. Got that. Wasn't happy with that, so asked for the "relationship." He balks, and instantly, because he didn't do everything in OP's agenda, he's a cake-eater, user, chump, player... BS. Suddenly, all their presumably mutual pleasant activities are some "gift" she gave him and got nothing in return. BS. Sex is not some gift that women bestow on men, if it ever was, it certainly isn't today.

 

Just because someone doesn't do everything you want them to do does not make them some heinous villain. Women who have these types of issues should read and reread this sentence. Should also read and reread thatone's post.

 

You aren't some helpless child in life running from the big bad wolf, you are an adult who is presumed to have a certain level of judgment and decision making capacity. If any kind of interaction, relationship, friendship, family, work is not giving you what you expect or desire, MOVE ON to the next option. There's no need based on the OP and subsequent to lay blame on this guy. I don't see how he has wronged OP.