big bear Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 here is my story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/328000-its-complicated-till-hell If you don't have time: --> I cheated --> I am selfish --> Now she has G.I.G.S or whatever I want to disappear from here life because: 1. My calls make her sad and lead to her crying 2. I don't want to be selfish anymore 3. I think I drove her in someone else's arms but I am sure she is gonna call pretty soon. What do I do then? Put a brave face on or ignore??
Philosoraptor Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 1) Then don't call. No reason to hurt you both anymore. 2) Good, hopefully that will help make your future relationships successful. 3) Possibly. When hurt people go to things that will make them feel safe. Some find safety in family, some in hobbies, some in the arms of someone who they don't think will hurt them. If she calls you need to do what is the best for both of you. Can she forgive your cheating? The trust is broken and the relationship was nothing but a rollercoaster.
Author big bear Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 1) Then don't call. No reason to hurt you both anymore. 2) Good, hopefully that will help make your future relationships successful. 3) Possibly. When hurt people go to things that will make them feel safe. Some find safety in family, some in hobbies, some in the arms of someone who they don't think will hurt them. If she calls you need to do what is the best for both of you. Can she forgive your cheating? The trust is broken and the relationship was nothing but a rollercoaster. She won't forgive as far as I know. But she will call because I have an alcohol abuse problem and I might be sacked soon or at last transferred very soon to a remote location. She knows it takes me to drink heavily just to sleep. If she doesn't call well and good but if she does I don't know what to say. I have already begged her to come back, she won't. I don't want to be rude to genuine concern but I do not want to do anything to upset her anymore. Just want her to go away peacefully and let her find her happiness. What do I do if she calls?? And as people have said before in this forum if I drink to sleep or do whatever it's not her problem anymore. Obviously I can't say this to her. We do not have any mutual friends so I could get this message subtly to her.
Philosoraptor Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 No matter what you do it will hurt her. One will be like ripping off a bandaid quickly and the other will be a slower more painful path. If you want her to heal fastest you'd be best to not answer at all or let her know directly that continued contact will not be beneficial and you will not continue to answer.
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