Author Frank13 Posted May 21, 2012 Author Posted May 21, 2012 (edited) Who cares? Obviously you care! Not as much as you who put in the effort to reply. Thank you for caring. You are probably one of the women I am ignoring and you don't like it. Edited May 21, 2012 by Frank13 2
turnera Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 Why don't you just talk to them directly? In a friendly way? Ask them something about work that a newbie wouldn't know. Take the high road and show them that you're a person worth befriending.
Author Frank13 Posted May 22, 2012 Author Posted May 22, 2012 Why don't you just talk to them directly? In a friendly way? Ask them something about work that a newbie wouldn't know. Take the high road and show them that you're a person worth befriending. Hmmm, I like this. I like it a lot. I guess the reason I haven't was being ignored when saying "hi" and then these two making it so obvious that they were looking away from me. I figured maybe I just creeped them out. Now, I could figure out something to ask them, but what could I ask them to show them I am a person worth befriending? I will report back. Thanks for the intelligent response. 1
turnera Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 One of my favorites is to ask where the best ____ restaurant is nearby. Or ask where the closest Post Office is.
CyBz Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 My problem chick finally looked and talked to me but only after I had to send an e-mail asking when a good time for me to upgrade her Office suite on her PC. She was as friendly and sweet as could be when I was sitting at her desk. Big surprise.
Author Frank13 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 My problem chick finally looked and talked to me but only after I had to send an e-mail asking when a good time for me to upgrade her Office suite on her PC. She was as friendly and sweet as could be when I was sitting at her desk. Big surprise. Thanks for the interesting update. Let us know if you can find out what her deal is. I have noticed more women not looking at me but when we pass, they just look straight ahead like I am not there. Although I try to make eye contact out of politeness, acting like I am not there is okay, I understand that. It is the ones who look away. They are acknowledging that I am there and letting me know they don;t want to look at me.
Author Frank13 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) One of my favorites is to ask where the best ____ restaurant is nearby. Or ask where the closest Post Office is. Since it is a smaller town, everyone pretty much knows these things so it would come off as phony. It has to be something that engages them but at the same time doesn't appear phony. If I say "nice weather we are having", they could just answer "yes". I need something that will get some back and forth conversation going. Something more work related I think. Edited May 23, 2012 by Frank13
turnera Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Hey, do you know if we have a company resource for discounts on tickets and stuff? The last place I worked had an online one you could print coupons off of. No one ever told me if we have a casual Friday or something like that. Do you know if we do? Does this company have an annual Christmas party?
turnera Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 I have noticed more women not looking at me but when we pass, they just look straight ahead like I am not there. Although I try to make eye contact out of politeness, acting like I am not there is okay, I understand that. It is the ones who look away. They are acknowledging that I am there and letting me know they don;t want to look at me. It's a dangerous game to make assumptions on what people are thinking; you are rarely right. Why not just ask one of them?
favoritepills Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Honestly, I think avoiding looking at them is the way to go. My guess is that they probably are a little creeped out by you. You mentioned they were attractive (and no offense but you sound very invested in this whole issue), so you probably have stared at them a lot more than you realize, and it makes them uncomfortable. Women don't like being stared at incessantly, especially by someone they 1) don't find attractive, and 2) have to see every day at work, which is why they look away from you -- it's to try to discourage that behavior. Just look away from them, and I think they'll feel more comfortable.
Author Frank13 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 It's a dangerous game to make assumptions on what people are thinking; you are rarely right. Why not just ask one of them? I don't know what is so dangerous about making assumptions in this situation. I was just curious. I am not going to ask them because I just don't care. I will ignore them.
Author Frank13 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 My guess is that they probably are a little creeped out by you. You mentioned they were attractive (and no offense but you sound very invested in this whole issue), so you probably have stared at them a lot more than you realize, and it makes them uncomfortable. They purposely looked away from the first time I saw or walked pass them. It was so obvious. That's why I asked. In any event, it was more a curiosity question as it seemed odd behavior. (You can ignore someone without making it so obvious). I simply don't care. I will ignore them and if they have some sort of issues, it is their problem.
favoritepills Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 They purposely looked away from the first time I saw or walked pass them. It was so obvious. That's why I asked. Hmm. It's possible some other girl talked to them about you, but I don't know. Maybe they saw something shiny and got distracted! In any event, it was more a curiosity question as it seemed odd behavior. (You can ignore someone without making it so obvious). I simply don't care. I will ignore them and if they have some sort of issues, it is their problem. Exactly, just ignore them.
Author Frank13 Posted May 29, 2012 Author Posted May 29, 2012 (edited) Hmm. It's possible some other girl talked to them about you, but I don't know. Nope, this has happened from the first time I saw them and I haven't done anything for anyone to talk badly about me to them. Maybe they saw something shiny and got distracted! Every single time we pass? Exactly, just ignore them. I have made eye contact with both of them multiple times recently, mostly by accident like when one of us is coming around a corner. Suddenly we are both in the same space and they don't see me in advance so don't have time to look away well in advance of seeing me. One time one of them looked down after making eye contact. Not a quick or abrupt looking down, but more like she was being shy. The other one I came around a corner and she was there. There was enough distance to where we were not going to run into each other, but we made eye contact and she said "sorry", like she thought she was in my way, but she wasn't. I was also working in an area and she kept coming around me, even though there were other ways for her to get where she was going. I am sure it meant nothing and I kept ignoring her. Anyway, just wanted to reply since you made the effort to post. I am just ignoring them, and if we do accidently make eye contact, as soon as we do, I look away. Mostly so I don't creep them out, but also just doing what they do. Maybe I remind them of an ex. Edited May 29, 2012 by Frank13
theseeker Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 This is a complete guess, but maybe there have been incidences in the past at your workplace where people got harassed/fired because of misinterpreted signals. The women who don't look at you, have they been working there longer than the women who act normal/polite? Like I said, I'm guessing.
theseeker Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Nevermind, just read more of the replies, these women think they are Helen of Troy. Poor things need to get over themselves and stop acting like one glance or smile will send a man into a sexual blitzkrieg. 1
Author Frank13 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 A couple days ago, the woman who goes to the extreme to look the other way actually made eye contact with me and held it for a couple seconds. She was actually standing behind me without me knowing it. When I turned around and saw her, she was looking at me. After a couple of seconds of eye contact, she blinked twice and abruptly looked straight ahead as if to communicate "oh, I wasn't looking at you". Now it is getting to the point where I am actually having fun with this. Some days and times I ignore them and other days and times I look at them to see how they react. I think I have a new hobby.
turnera Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Or...you could just be an adult about it and TALK to them. 1
Chubbi Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 A couple days ago, the woman who goes to the extreme to look the other way actually made eye contact with me and held it for a couple seconds. She was actually standing behind me without me knowing it. When I turned around and saw her, she was looking at me. After a couple of seconds of eye contact, she blinked twice and abruptly looked straight ahead as if to communicate "oh, I wasn't looking at you". Now it is getting to the point where I am actually having fun with this. Some days and times I ignore them and other days and times I look at them to see how they react. I think I have a new hobby. What do you expect her to do? Stare into your eyes?
Author Frank13 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 Or...you could just be an adult about it and TALK to them. Yes, but this is more fun. I think they feel too full of themselves. Let's see if I can take them down a few notches.
Author Frank13 Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 What do you expect her to do? Stare into your eyes? She won't be the first. That and also smile. Lol
LittlePrince Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 What do you expect her to do? Stare into your eyes? Of course not. He must assert his dominance as the alphaFrank. 3
Shaun-Dro Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Thank you for your take on this. It sounds like they are pretty full of themselves. Although they are attractive, they aren't "all that". Maybe they have been hit on a lot by older guys or something. In any event, that puts it in perspective. There are plenty of others who do acknowledge me so I will just ignore these two. When I have passed woman B, her head will be facing forward but her eyes will look to the side, away from me. Maybe I will have a little fun with her in that when we pass, I won't just look away, but will turn my entire head away, like she repulses me. LOL. It seems to me that you lack experience when it comes to women. Don't despair. These young dames are probably interested in you and are doing everything within their power to get themselves under control so that you don't find out. If I were you, stop them head-on in the halls when you pass and say hi. Then smirk at them and keep eye contact as much as possible. Let your eyes do the communicating. I promise you they'll cut the crap and you'll never be able to get rid of them after that. 2
mario_C Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 It's very normal for people in the corporate world to be aloof for different reasons: They're *********s. They see others as below or above their station and only associate with those on their level (unless they can advance their career). OR They're awkward or socially maladjusted. One guy I worked with who was a mumbler/rambler was angry with some clients because they were "poor communicators" and "hard to understand". Some people perform very well at their job because they adapt to their designated roles in society's machine, but when the performance break comes up they've got nothing to say. (Or they don't want to say it for fear of being ostracized or hurting their careers.) The third reason is, They're from Connecticut. People are *********s around here. But I'm sure they're *********s where you live too, so no need to generalize.... As for the gender relations, that makes it worse because there is the threat of office crushes or flirting happening, which is a huge no-no. 1
Recommended Posts