gibson Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 God bless her and I wish her the best but when I do the math I can see why she is still single. Since when is single bad? If we use your logic... You are single, what's your problem?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 What should she have done? She should have sent him either a message on Facebook or to his personal email saying she enjoyed the evening but felt there was no chemistry, and it wouldn't work out. Then remove him from Facebook, if she chose to. This way he knows instead of wondering what happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Gibson I get it you see nothing wrong with simply cutting contact. I do. Whereas I consider the feelings of the people I date. If I no longer feel it for them I say so.. even if it's just one date. If it's not working out I say this isn't working out. Telling someone it's not working out, no spark, etc does not hurt them. Especially if it's early on since no serious feelings will be there. While just cutting contact as if you never knew the person or worse "fear" the person is more jarring. Plus it contradicts my old fashioned, Midwestern USA sensibilities of honesty and how to treat people like people and not things. Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 People have deleted me from their fb, and I certainly don't expect an explanation as to why. I can kinda figure it out. That was her non verbal message to you and good riddance! Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 (edited) Well, it's astounding to me how badly we treat each other in dating and how acceptable it's become. I mean, in any other circumstance besides dating, if someone treats you and does their best to show you a good time, you'd probably be a lot nicer than de-friending them on FB just because you can't see yourself sleeping with that person. In dating this sort of thing is somehow viewed as OK by a lot of people. Go figure. Anyway, even though the OP "just didn't get her" (whatever THAT means), I still don't like the way the girl handled the situation. OP went out of his way to show up and buy her drinks, and I think a little more respect on her end for his effort would have been called for. I think she could have waited a few days--him to ask for a second date and her to thank him for the first date and then politely decline--before she de-friended him on FB. I mean, what was her rush? EDIT: "You said you're not on FB" is a lame excuse. OP was on enough to become FB-friends with this girl in the first place, didn't it occur to her that he would be on after? Edited May 9, 2012 by Imajerk17 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Since when is single bad? If we use your logic... You are single, what's your problem?!?! I didn't say single was bad or that if you are single you have a problem. I said when I do the math I can see why SHE is single. She is almost impossible to read so mabye men give up. And if I'm wrong I'm wrong it's just an opinion. What's wrong with me? You obviously aren't familiar with my threads lol. I come here for advice and welcome it ask almost anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 I also think that most responses in this thread automatically were quick to jump down her throat and call her names when realistically, there isn't much she could have done differently. She -made a point- to delete him from FB straight after the date, knowing full well he would see this. That's not simple rejection at work, but making some kind of totally unnecessary statement. As far as what she should have done? She was fine in her response, but should have waited a bit on the FB deletion. Low quality. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Politeness would dictate her waiting until she'd turned you down (if you asked again) OR at least for the passage of some time before deleting you, OP, but I do think you're getting overly wound up about it. Yes, it was rude. No, she didn't want to date you or even be friends apparently. THOSE two things were not rude, but she went about it a bit rudely. Does happen, and there's no use getting wound up about it or quitting all of OLD because near-strangers can be rude. If you get upset about it, you hurt you, not her. Anyway, the larger issue I see is adding someone you've just met through OLD to your FB in the first place. I'd not recommend that, personally. That's the way I've found to avoid such things --- it can be awkward to have someone you really don't want to see again write on your FB wall, etc, and it's equally awkward to ring someone up just to say, "I don't like you. Please don't contact me through any means" (and equally rude honestly -- more so to some people, you really can't win for losing sometimes). Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts