She Deleted Me From Facebook Right After Our First Date?

[tsawyer]

Sorry, but I think you're expecting too much from these OLD people. It's pretty typical that, once an initial meeting takes place, there is not enough chemistry/interest to have another date, and most women would not want to keep a guy she is rejecting as a dating partner as a friend on her fb. Women don't want or have an interest in making every guy she's gone on one date with where it didn't work out, to be kept as a continual friend. That would just be ackward and pointless to keep every man she's gone on a date with and rejected, as a friend she wants to continue to keep in contact with. Not likely to happen, but it shouldn't sour you on every female on OLD. It's just part of OLD, and all dating for that matter--no obligations after the date if the date doesn't work out.

I do have higher expectations out of a date. I expect to be treated with dignity and respect.

 

Her behavior was very cuntish, typical of many American women (not just OLD). It is all about me, me, me. Fuc k everybody else.

[persevere]

I do have higher expectations out of a date. I expect to be treated with dignity and respect.

 

Her behavior was very cuntish, typical of many American women (not just OLD). It is all about me, me, me. Fuc k everybody else.

 

Yep. Ie..What can you do for me? A relationship is all about me, the woman.

[KathyM]

I do have higher expectations out of a date. I expect to be treated with dignity and respect.

 

Her behavior was very cuntish, typical of many American women (not just OLD). It is all about me, me, me. Fuc k everybody else.

She behaved allright on the date, you said. You just didn't like the fact that she didn't want to continue a relationship with you afterwards, and you expected her to keep you as a friend on fb. Well, sorry, but there is no obligation to remain in contact after a date if one of the partners is not interested in continuing the relationship.

[TheFinalWord]

I do have higher expectations out of a date. I expect to be treated with dignity and respect.

 

Her behavior was very cuntish, typical of many American women (not just OLD). It is all about me, me, me. Fuc k everybody else.

 

Yeah, many women are selfish. Many men are too!

 

Guess what? She did you a favor. Now you don't have to waste any more time investing in her. She showed you on one date she isn't worth another thought!

 

I would have texted "thank you for showing me your true self in one date instead of playing innocent for months"

 

NEXT...DELETE!

 

In general,

 

OLD is best for just meeting people. I had one girl I spent about 100 hours on the phone with, one date, and then she blew me off! Imagine all the time I wasted! I wouldn't even worry about facebook in the future until you've had a few dates. Just do coffee or go dutch.

[KathyM]

I think you guys are investing too much time in talking to women before going on the date. That's usually not a good plan, because if there is not enough chemistry on the date, all that time spent beforehand will be for naught. It's best to meet up early on and get to know someone in person to see if there is chemistry, and not invest a lot of time before meeting them.

[CC12]

I do have higher expectations out of a date. I expect to be treated with dignity and respect.

 

How did she not treat you with dignity and respect, though? Because she unfriended you on Facebook? Facebook means nothing. Her direct interactions with you were dignified and respectful.

 

Here's possibly what her thought process was: "Nice guy, had fun on the date, but I don't think we'll see each other again or become friends. No need to be friends on Facebook anymore and he doesn't even use FB that much anyway. *click*"

 

You shouldn't think the worst of people all the time or take these things too personally. You went on a date, it didn't work out. No need to be angry.

[mortensorchid]

Funny since the advent of Facebook we have all suddenly reverted back to high school, ever notice? Zuckerberg changed our lives in ways we couldn't possibly imagine. Ha ha ha ...

 

But yes, she is saying by this action that she is not interested in a very passive aggressive way by unfriending you. Move on.

[dasein]

Rationalization thick as a forest in this thread. Of course you don't go straight home and make a point of deleting the man (or woman) you just went out with from your fb friends. No quality person would -ever- do such a thing unless OP had done or said something really rude on the date. Girl says "you just didn't get me," so rudeness on the date wasn't an issue. Not sure I'd use the c word, but she is definitely a rude, low quality person, and in all likelihood, did it purposefully getting back at OP for something some other man did to her. People are free to keep or delete fb friends as they see fit, but immediately after a date? Good for you OP for having this one weed herself out.

[truth_seeker]

She faked nice the whole date, if right after the date she went home and immediately deleted you from Facebook. Then again, you shouldn't be friends with someone on Facebook you just met on an OLD site. I learned a couple of lessons via OLD:

 

1. Most of OLD women are flakes playing the field.
   
2. Don't even bother with Facebook and try mixing it with dating. Facebook should be for family and friends you know. It shouldn't be for random people you hardly know or people you meet on OLD sites. I added a girl to my Facebook page from an OLD site. I tried messaging her to chat, and never got a response. I deleted her. Total flake who liked to collect friends on her page.
   
3. If possible, avoid OLD. Get out there and try meeting someone the "old fashion" way. Best way to meet someone is to see them upfront and in person. You'll know if there is an attraction, and just by talking to them, you'll know if there is a spark. That's the way to go in my opinion.
   

[Art_Critic]

Thoughts?

 

Really ? .. uhhhh.. it means your done.. no second date

Why she or you would add someone to your FB you don't know is beyond me...

 

Lesson learned...

 

and you did dodge a bullet..IMO

[TheFinalWord]

Really ? .. uhhhh.. it means your done.. no second date

Why she or you would add someone to your FB you don't know is beyond me...

 

Lesson learned...

 

and you did dodge a bullet..IMO

 

haha reminds me of a girl I was "dating". We were friends on Fbook, she kept flaking, said she didn't have time, but on her Fbook she kept making plans to go out with her friends. I removed her! Seriously, how dumb can you be? You can't even keep your lies to yourself you have to be a moron.

 

Then she got mad and won't talk to me anymore! LOL High school. I said I would re-add, but I said you never talk to me on there, never respond to anything I post, say you don't have time to go out, but then post "text me girls I want to go out" on your page! What's the point? I re-friended to appease her her and she cancelled my request! haha I guess that made her feel good? Thank you for showing me your immaturity before I invested one second more!

 

Everyone complains about facebook, but it is a good way to find out about people fast. For example, if some girl has "went from in a relationship" to "single" 5 times in one year, RED FLAG. I had that happen about 4 months ago. I think you have to be dumb to leave all those status updates on there in the first place so new guys you're talking to can see them DUH. I need someone with a few brain cells at least! Needless to say, I immediately removed her. If there are updates about getting drunk every weekend, RED FLAG. Or if she drops the F-bomb every post, RED FLAG. Seriously, if you're going to post foolish stuff on social media I can't imagine what your mouth is like in real life. I just figure that if I want a easy chick I can just go to the bar for that. Not interested in dating for a relationship with that kind of girl. So if there are characteristics you don't like you can get a sneak peak and not even bother spending the money on a date.

Edited May 9, 2012 by TheFinalWord

[truth_seeker]

Some women on OLD are masters of deception. Their goal is a free meal or drinks. Then click on to the next guy. Either that or they are extremely picky, beyond the pale. Removing you from fb so quickly is something you'd think would be out of anger. She's got issues and/or is just plain rude. Nothing lost here.

 

One girl I met on an OLD site was Miss. Conservative according to her profile. I found her on Facebook and she was Miss Las Vegas. Two totally different people. Very careful with her words when we exchanged messages. She seemed sneaky. When I asked her about Facebook, I never heard from her again. I think someone got busted?

[TheFinalWord]

One girl I met on an OLD site was Miss. Conservative according to her profile. I found her on Facebook and she was Miss Las Vegas. Two totally different people. Very careful with her words when we exchanged messages. She seemed sneaky. When I asked her about Facebook, I never heard from her again. I think someone got busted?

 

Yes, I've seen that happen to.

 

Or, I drink rarely/socially.Every weekend bragging about your drinking escapades on Facebook isn't rarely drinking; it's a lifestyle! I don't need OLD to find that kind of woman. I can go to the local bar for that!

[Mrlonelyone]

A problem is that for many people FB and its social network have become more important than real life connections.

 

I'll bet she had FB friends who were less than enthusiastic about her association with you op. For younger less mature people that can trump their own feelings and judgment.

[NYC-BigKat]

Facebook is lame. No one cares about your vacation or if you just went to Home Depot. No one cares how good you are at Mafia wars or if you "like" saving puppies.

 

 

Other then that, I do not think Facebook pages should be exchanged until you got to know someone and are reguarly dating them.

 

 

I also think she is not interested in you anymore. Sorry buddy.

 

But why? I feel sooooo bad for the OP 'cause he was nice like me & its us nice guys that girls dont wanna be with. Can someone stop the bleeding?

[Shaun-Dro]

This is a good point. I'm just old enough to remember social life before facebook. People used to be able to feel that they were friends without needing to know what you had for breakfast this morning.

 

Anyway.

 

As others have told you it says that she is a weak and cowardly person who did not have the guts to say she's not interested any more. Could be any number of reasons. My money would be that she met another man in online dating and thinks he's better.

 

Nope, don't put your money on that or you'll lose all of it. This lowlife type was just pretending on the date, being phony to the OP merely to get by the evening. She most likely made up her mind about the OP the minute she saw him or it changed seconds after. Women are strange like that.

[gibson]

A problem is that for many people FB and its social network have become more important than real life connections.

 

I'll bet she had FB friends who were less than enthusiastic about her association with you op. For younger less mature people that can trump their own feelings and judgment.

 

Wait... What?

 

She has feelings for him but isn't going to pursue him because of her friends on Fakebook?

 

Come on people... This isn't complicated! SHE ISN'T INTERESTED!

 

She went on a date, didn't like him and deleted him off of FB.

 

Back in my day... We lost someones number. This is essentially the exact same thing.

 

Do people really expect someone that talks to you, friends you on Fakebook, goes on a date with you, etc. to sit down, have the break up talk and give you closure?

 

The pussification of men is not a good thing... Just look at the threads / posts that most of the guys here on LS.

 

Can you imagine Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, John Wayne, Charles Bronson, etc. having to ask the question what being deleted off of Fakebook means (not that they would use Fakebook)?

Edited May 9, 2012 by gibson

[Mrlonelyone]

Wait... What?

 

She has feelings for him but isn't going to pursue him because of her friends on Fakebook?

 

Come on people... This isn't complicated! SHE ISN'T INTERESTED!

 

I was speaking in generality. It's known as peer pressure.

 

Peer pressure - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

Peer pressure is the influence exerted by a peer group, encouraging individuals to change their attitudes, values, or behaviors in order to conform to group norms. Social groups affected include membership groups, in which individuals are "formally" members (such as, political partys and trade unions), or social cliques in which membership is not clearly defined. A person affected by peer pressure may or may not want to belong to these groups. They may also recognize dissociative groups with which they would not wish to associate, and thus they behave adversely concerning that group's behaviors.[

 

get it?

 

Do people really expect someone that talks to you, friends you on Fakebook, goes on a date with you, etc. to sit down, have the break up talk and give you closure?

 

What people are decrying here is not simply the FB actions. It was the phoniness and dishonesty. She went through the motions of having a good date, then she does that with no explaination. It's one thing to say he should have seen signs but sometimes there are not signs to see.

 

Tell me you have never seen someone be really fake and flaky like that? Does it not piss you off a little?

Edited May 9, 2012 by Mrlonelyone

[smith9800]

Everyone behaves nice in front of you...She is not interested in you and you should accept it...

[Mrlonelyone]

Everyone behaves nice in front of you...She is not interested in you and you should accept it...

 

Where I come from people tell you to go to hell face to face. Not everyone think being phony is better than being honest.

 

She's not into him, but she went about saying that in a bad way.

[CC12]

What people are decrying here is not simply the FB actions. It was the phoniness and dishonesty. She went through the motions of having a good date, then she does that with no explaination.

 

What should she have done?

 

Should she have told him beforehand that she was going to de-friend him on Facebook? Should she have been rude on the date? Left in the middle of it? Waited longer to de-friend him? What?

 

Rejecting someone is almost always awkward and there's no great way to do it, usually. I don't understand the sh*t this girl is catching in this thread.

 

Edit:

 

Where I come from people tell you to go to hell face to face.

 

So she should have met up with this guy she went on one date with to tell him she wasn't interested? Come on.

[Mrlonelyone]

What should she have done?

 

Should she have told him beforehand that she was going to de-friend him on Facebook? Should she have been rude on the date? Left in the middle of it? Waited longer to de-friend him? What?

 

Rejecting someone is almost always awkward and there's no great way to do it, usually. I don't understand the sh*t this girl is catching in this thread.

 

Edit:

 

 

 

So she should have met up with this guy she went on one date with to tell him she wasn't interested? Come on.

The simple act of sending an FB message saying it was fun but I did not feel a connection would be enough. It takes two seconds and cost nothing.

 

Even better being honest on the date. If it's going bad just call it night and leave.

 

I was responding to the assertion that everyone is nice in front of your face, and phony. Where I come from people value honesty. That's all I'm saying.

Edited May 9, 2012 by Mrlonelyone

[CC12]

The simple act of sending an FB message saying it was fun but I did not feel a connection would be enough. It takes two seconds and cost nothing.

 

But she said almost exactly that when he contacted her directly.

 

I was responding to the assertion that everyone is nice in front of your face, and phony. Where I come from people value honesty. That's all I'm saying.

 

Fair enough. And I think she was honest. I also think that most responses in this thread automatically were quick to jump down her throat and call her names when realistically, there isn't much she could have done differently.

[gibson]

What people are decrying here is not simply the FB actions. It was the phoniness and dishonesty.

 

How in the hell was she phony and dishonest?!?!?!?!

 

She went on the date and was his friend on fakebook because she was interested.

 

She went through the motions of having a good date, then she does that with no explaination.

 

WTF are you talking about?

 

I think he has all the explanation he needs.

 

She went on a date, didn't feel it and deleted him off of fakebook.

 

I don't need someone to tell me if they like me or don't like me after one date. I know if they do or do not by the end of the date, no matter what they say or don't say. I have been this way since I was dating in HS... most everyone else I know was / has been / is this way.

 

It's one thing to say he should have seen signs but sometimes there are not signs to see.

 

If he missed all the signs on the date, he sure does have them now.

 

It was one date and being deleted off of fakebook... BIG DEAL! If you get your feelings all hurt over that, you have some major problems.

 

Tell me you have never seen someone be really fake and flaky like that?

 

Yes... All the damn time. Welcome to life!

 

Does it not piss you off a little?

 

If you get your self-esteem, self-worth, validation, confidence, identity, approval, etc. from within...

 

You don't spend time worrying about what others think of you and you don't need someone to explain to you why they deleted you off fakebook or why they don't want a second date.

[SJC2008]

There are always two schools of thought when it comes to rejection when dating and not in a relationship. The 1st being that it's early so you don't owe a response, the second being it's rude and low quality. I messaged the last girl I dated (one date), I felt bad but I don't like to be blown off so I treated her the way I'd like to be treated.

 

The last woman I dated told me she was going on a hunting trip. Blatant lie bc it wasn't hunting season. Talk about gutless, why would you lie to someone and not just say "Sorry but I don't feel like we're a match, good luck finding that special someone". I seen the red flag on our 3rd date when she said she texts back a guy she dated bc she doesn't know what to tell him?? God bless her and I wish her the best but when I do the math I can see why she is still single.