Am I fat?

[Kamille]

Somedude, you seem to buy into media-hype about what we as humans should look like. I ask you to consider that not everyone shares what you think is some form of 'universal' standard of beauty. I wonder to what extent you buying into the beauty myths affects your own struggles and insecurities in dating. Do you apply the same world-view to yourself (therefore assuming that since you don't look like George Clooney, you're not good enough to approach women)? Do you let this view inform who you notice and don't notice when you're out and about?

 

I also don't think you're positioned to evaluate the honesty of my or other's responses. I was honest. The OP looks great. She certainly isn't fat. She doesn't look like the model you posted, but then I also assume that unlike the model's pic you posted, she, like most humans, cannot dedicate 8 hours a day to her looks.

[somedude81]

She didn't ask if she was ideal.

She asked if she was fat.

 

Your "bonus" criticism was insensitive.

And I said that she was not fat.

 

What bonus criticism.

 

Somedude, you seem to buy into media-hype about what we as humans should look like. I ask you to consider that not everyone shares what you think is some form of 'universal' standard of beauty. I wonder to what extent you buying into the beauty myths affects your own struggles and insecurities in dating.

I don't care at all about what the media says we should look like. And I know that everybody has their own standard of beauty. That wasn't the question that the OP asked.

 

Do you apply the same world-view to yourself (therefore assuming that since you don't look like George Clooney, you're not good enough to approach women)? Do you let this view inform who you notice and don't notice when you're out and about?

Why I don't approach is a completely unrelated issues.

 

I also don't think you're positioned to evaluate the honesty of my or other's responses. I was honest. The OP looks great.

Then I was mistaken in thinking that everybody was just trying to be nice.

 

She certainly isn't fat. She doesn't look like the model you posted, but then I also assume that unlike the model's pic you posted, she, like most humans, cannot dedicate 8 hours a day to her looks.

Do you really think the woman I posted works out 8 hours a day?

 

The only reason I even posed that picture was because I was looking for a pic of a girl who had some muscle on her arms (but not too much) so could compare against the other girls arms that don't have muscle.

[somedude81]

One thing this thread has told me, I should be very careful about what I say to and around women. Also that it's probably best to not be fully honest.

[Kamille]

One thing this thread has told me, I should be very careful about what I say to and around women. Also that it's probably best to not be fully honest.

 

Welll, no. If your own understanding of the human body has it that people who have a BMI of over 19 are obese, than you should be explicit about that. Expect people to disagree with you. As is happening here.

[somedude81]

Welll, no. If your own understanding of the human body has it that people who have a BMI of over 19 are obese, than you should be explicit about that. Expect people to disagree with you. As is happening here.

But that very disagreement can cause people to like me less.

 

It seems like it would be best to avoid that entirely.

[confused87]

You look great! You shouldn't be even worrying with a bod like that

[Kamille]

But that very disagreement can cause people to like me less.

 

It seems like it would be best to avoid that entirely.

 

We just disagreed and I don't like you less . I liked you and I still like you.

 

Of course, if we were dating and you told me I was fat, I might get upset - but I'd also want to know if you still found me attractive, in spite of deeming me "fat".

[jerbear]

But that very disagreement can cause people to like me less.

 

It seems like it would be best to avoid that entirely.

 

So what? There will always be someone who dislikes you. I had a girl who disliked me, hated my guts, disagreed on almost everything; and we are still friends. If you can take a stand, defend your stance, and let people have their own opinions; then you'll be fine.

 

In both business and politics, not everyone will like you and disagreements will happen.

[Ross MwcFan]

Just after opinions as I find it hard to assess myself. I lost 4 stone a couple of years ago but have put 2 back on. The clothes I bought when I lost the 4 stone still fit but I must be bigger now but find to hard to assess how much bigger if that makes sense.

 

http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/1182/image517k.jpg

 

I don't have a block for a head just shy

 

You look curvy (which is a great thing!), but definatley not fat.

[somedude81]

We just disagreed and I don't like you less . I liked you and I still like you.

 

Of course, if we were dating and you told me I was fat, I might get upset - but I'd also want to know if you still found me attractive, in spite of deeming me "fat".

Don't worry, you are a very fit squirrel and your tail is quite fluffy.

 

My real issue isn't that I think somebody who disagrees with me will like me less, it's how important the issue is to that person. It's like saying certain things can just make somebody instantly dislike you.

 

One thing I can't stop thinking about know is that I might have said something to that girl in my past that made her upset while I thought it wasn't important at all.

 

The last thing I want to do is make women dislike me, and I'm afraid that it's happening anyways because of careless remarks I made.

[zengirl]

Because they aren't. It's nothing but, your body is great, bombshell, etc.

 

What makes you think other people see things the way you do. (I hate to keep hitting the developmental stage thing but that is literally the thinking I always point out you do -- that all people do at a certain age but grow out of!) Personally, I responded honestly. The OP is not a waif, but that doesn't mean her arms are fat. They're fit and healthy for her size. Posting pictures of fitness models doesn't make much sense. It is true the OP does not look like a fitness model, but that doesn't mean that the comments people have posted were in any way dishonest since no one has said she does.

 

Bombshell types DO have a little softness to them, all around, IMO. I think of women like Marilyn Monroe, etc. That doesn't make them "fat" by all but the strangest of standards. MMV, I suppose, but calling the other opinions dishonest is very weird.

 

I mean, you can dislike the OP's arms if you like. She's opened herself up to that a bit. What I think is way outside of bounds is assuming and stating that everyone who likes the OP's appearance was just lying.

[verhrzn]

Nope, you're good to go. (I'd compliment you but I think other posters have done a much better job than I could, listen to them. Just wanted to add my encouragement.)

[Ross MwcFan]

Very hot in my book.

[FitChick]

Nothing good ever comes from threads like this. Everyone has different tastes and preferences.

[nofool4u]

She didn't ask if she was ideal.

She asked if she was fat.

 

Your "bonus" criticism was insensitive.

 

I don't think her question is genuine. Methinks she is showing off and fishing for PM's. She doesn't think she is fat. Just wanted to drop her pic and run.

[kaylan]

Somedude is right. The arms make me think she has a few extra pounds on her torso. Shes average, not fat at all though.

 

I cant tell much more about her shape since shes wearing black and the picture isnt the clearest.

[RiverRunning]

OP, I think that you look great. Your body fat percentage is, I'm going to guess, probably somewhere between 23 - 27% - which is TOTALLY normal and totally average.

 

The picture that somedude posted is probably of a woman who's closer to 18 - 21% body fat, which typically falls into the 'ideal' category. But as long as you're under 30% body fat...you're not fat. At all.

 

I would never look at you and think, "She's FAT." It wouldn't even strike me to think, "She's overweight."

 

But I think people really need to drop these labels of "Fat" and "Not Fat." I don't think it's a Boolean thing. I don't think someone who is 10 or 20 pounds overweight is fat, and at WORST (not saying it's the case here, as I don't think the OP is overweight), the OP is SLIGHTLY overweight. That's still not fat, in my opinion.

 

This is really the sort of thing that gets so many girls to get into disordered eating and exercise habits. I have met women who, at 130 pounds, told me they would want to die if they ever reached 150 pounds. WTF?

 

I'm fat - I'll outright say it, I'm about 50 pounds overweight - and yeah, it sucks. Yeah, the men tend to be lower quality because they feel they can get away with treating you like crap. People in general treat you differently (when I was like 120 - 130 pounds overweight, people would routinely make critical comments to me when I was out in public, including perfect strangers. I'd get disgusted looks or comments from people).

 

But I have still met many men. Cholesterol, glucose, blood pressure are all excellent because I work out. At the end of the day, people need to stop acting like being overweight or even downright fat is the worst possible thing that could happen to you. It isn't. Unfortunately, we all act like it is and I always felt like my weight was the elephant in the room (no pun intended) when I was in relationships.

 

OP, you're not fat. There, I settled it. You're hot.

[snug.bunny]

Being 'fat' would indicate one is overweight.

 

If you're above the average weight for your age, height, body frame, then you'd be 'considered' overweight...

 

Your body type appears to be curvy/thick/broad, but not 'fat'.

 

Fat would be this: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OT0wKfbqihc/TdGAINK-GII/AAAAAAAAACY/TAAZ3B1ocBg/s1600/fat+women.jpg

[Ross MwcFan]

Being 'fat' would indicate one is overweight.

 

If you're above the average weight for your age, height, body frame, then you'd be 'considered' overweight...

 

Your body type appears to be curvy/thick/broad, but not 'fat'.

 

Fat would be this: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OT0wKfbqihc/TdGAINK-GII/AAAAAAAAACY/TAAZ3B1ocBg/s1600/fat+women.jpg

 

I'd say they were obese, not fat.

[snug.bunny]

I'd say they were obese, not fat.

 

Hey, don't shoot the messenger.

 

I googled 'fat' and that picture popped up.

[Ross MwcFan]

Hey, don't shoot the messenger.

 

I googled 'fat' and that picture popped up.

 

Hey I was just saying, I wasn't having a go at you or anything.

[snug.bunny]

Hey I was just saying, I wasn't having a go at you or anything.

 

No worries. I replied further as I don't want anyone to be offended lumping 'fat' and 'obesity' in the same category.

[Ross MwcFan]

Fat is a a subjective thing. A bit full for my liking. I prefer more toned female body.

 

But fat? No. Lots of guys like a full bodied figure. Someone carrying the extra weight you've regained just isn't my cup of tea. I like a flat tummy and no extra fat roll.

 

All this is assuming the photo is random and not cherry picked for the angle, etc. A few more phoitos of your backside, in a set of jeans, etc. would help give perspective.

 

Definatley, I couldn't agree more.

[Star Gazer]

Nothing good ever comes from threads like this. Everyone has different tastes and preferences.

 

Somedude is right. The arms make me think she has a few extra pounds on her torso. Shes average, not fat at all though.

 

Yikes, I'm actually a little freaked out that I agree with sumdude, FC, and kaylan. Ack.

 

Personally, I wouldn't use the word "fat" at all, but if giving a truly honest, objective opinion, it does appear to me that the OP is in fact, well, a little overweight. It shows in her arms. As a woman, I'm also aware that she's posing in the most flattering way and wearing the most flattering outfit possible. If I were trying to set her up with a guy friend, I'd describe her as "average" or "thick," kinda like Kelly Clarkson (I say that as I watch her sing live right now on SNL), and by comparing her hand size to the size of her waist and hips, at least a US size 12 or 14.

 

That all having been said, I think she looks great.

[PlumPrincess]

I agree with Somedude, Kaylan, etc. as well.

 

If some posters think Somedude should have avoided saying something about her arms since she only asked if she was fat, then they themselves should have refrained from complimenting and encouraging her to stay as she is, because the way she looks in the picture makes me think that if she does not exercise and watch her weight, she will have a weight problem within the next few years.

 

She is not fat, but some exercising would do her well.