Author Angelina527 Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 You are projecting. When you were the OW, you weren't in it just for fun, so in your mind that didn't cheapen it. (Even though you swear up and down you know you did wrong). Projection. You know what Alice? I'm done here; you obviously refuse to even attempt to understand where I'm coming from. You don't know me and you have no idea what I do to myself every day over my mistakes. Thanks for your opinions. Mercy, thank you so very much for your kindness.
mercy Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 "Tis a sad day when we watch a lass crucify herself and others yell for more.
mercy Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Yes again, I understand where you're coming from. You made it clear in your Just For Fun thread. You said it was WORSE in your situation because the OW was having fun. And you were called out on that and told --- no, no it wasn't worse and given the reasons why having an affair just for fun is NO worse than having an affair for "love." What words would she need to use make you happy or content or what? How far must a lass that has made a mistake go? Or is it her fate to never be forgiven? What would it take or hat word does she need to change to stop this. Or better yet, what words need to be spoken to you to help you heal? I have a lot of them and I share.
Author Angelina527 Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 Yes again, I understand where you're coming from. You made it clear in your Just For Fun thread. You said it was WORSE in your situation because the OW was having fun. And you were called out on that and told --- no, no it wasn't worse and given the reasons why having an affair just for fun is NO worse than having an affair for "love." If you cannot understand (after all these years post your affair) why you were called out on this line of thinking, then I don't know what to tell you. Look Alice, my heart feels what it feels. It FEELS worse in my situation. My own wrongdoings are unforgivable no matter what.
NoIDidn't Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I think a couple of posters are being a bit too hard on Angelina, but yet at the same time I understand both points. I do think Angelina is one of the posters here who has shown remorse and owned her past and she should be applauded for that. I understand and agree with the posters that are being hard on Angelina. I don't agree with them being so hard on her, but I totally get where they are coming from. I also get where Angelina is coming from. To those being so hard on Angelina, try and understand this. As a person that has been betrayed, its a LOT easier to forgive the person that genuinely fell in love with your spouse than the one that was just playing around with your life "for fun". A lot easier. And the OW that genuinely loved the MM is usually the one that understands a W that genuinely loves her husband and isn't going to just let some other woman waltz away with him. But the tawdry and immature person that thinks the potential of breaking up a family is just fun, they are dangerous to everyone for more reasons than just an affair. They have no morals and no boundaries about likely anything. This kind of selfishness is unable to see beyond what they want at the moment. There is no remorse from the "just for fun" crowd. There issues are varied and many. They won't learn and they will keep repeating the pattern until they finally learn that this level of selfishness is antisocial and pathological. 7
BrighterWashing Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Look I haven't read Angelinas story, I'm not picking in anyone and this is JMO. 1 I think the OW truly is unforgivable as is the WH. The fact that some BS can forgive a WH is testament to their strength and the relationship they once had (before the lies) 2 I don't think being in it for love is any better than just for fun- not for the BS- willingly taking our place in any way is a horrible thing to do no matter why. And there are no excuses. 3 I don't think many OW ever feel remorse but if you do, that's a good sign for her recovery. Totally JMO.
NoIDidn't Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 2 I don't think being in it for love is any better than just for fun- not for the BS- willingly taking our place in any way is a horrible thing to do no matter why. And there are no excuses. I agree with this. I was just explaining why the betrayed that is able to forgive the OP and their spouse is able to. It almost extends to spouses too. If the spouse says "she never meant anything to me", I'd be leaving that spouse. I couldn't be married to someone so shallow and uncaring. I totally agree that neither is better for the betrayed, just one is a little more understandable. Love, I understand. Sick selfishness, I don't. 1
sad puppy Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Yes again, I understand where you're coming from. You made it clear in your Just For Fun thread. You said it was WORSE in your situation because the OW was having fun. And you were called out on that and told --- no, no it wasn't worse and given the reasons why having an affair just for fun is NO worse than having an affair for "love." If you cannot understand (after all these years post your affair) why you were called out on this line of thinking, then I don't know what to tell you. Hey Alice, I'm calling you out. You've not been on LS for even two months but you seem to use this site as your own personal bashing ground. Here's your wake up call - this forum does not exist for you to constantly tear people down. This forum exists for people in pain and confusion to get assistance from others. You spend an awful lot of time on the OW forum, bashing every single person here that is looking for help and guidance. We know you're a BS. I just wonder if you spend half as much time bashing your cheater spouse? I'm really curious. You seem to have plenty of venom for all the OW here, you're all over everybody's posts, but what about your very own cheater? Spend any time busting his chops? Spend any time handing out all your judgement and venom to your cheater? Why did your spouse cheat on you? Nobody here on LS is REAL in your life. But your cheating spouse is REAL in your life. Me thinks you never said a peep to your cheater, just the meek little betrayed spouse, begging him to stay with you. And that's why you come here and spew your venom to others. Deal with it, Alice. If I see it, a lot of other people do too. Save your venom for the one that really betrayed you. You wanna take me on with your venom, you better be ready. Bring it. I've seen you go after a lot of people here, and cause a lot of pain. You wanna go after somebody that's not gonna whimper in the face of your misdirected anger, you bring it on. I've got your number, you sick, pathetic, meek little betrayed spouse that can only direct her anger at others her on LS. God, I've been wanting to call you out for a long time, I feel way better right now.
Stellar Wench Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 She will never get it.After getting what was coming to her. Tis a shame. A opportunity for personal growth squandered.
Stellar Wench Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Sad puppy, Take that mirror of shame and point it at yourself.
Lostinlife4now Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 And does anyone wonder WHY Alice was a BS???? Hmmmmmm Think about it!!
Stellar Wench Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Not true.....tis a shame that you deny it because you don't want to see it.I see someone that wouldn't have any remorse had she not got what was coming to her since being in love makes it all ok.
sad puppy Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Sad puppy, Take that mirror of shame and point it at yourself. Oh puh leeze. What a ridiculous comment.
Lostinlife4now Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Look Alice, my heart feels what it feels. It FEELS worse in my situation. My own wrongdoings are unforgivable no matter what. Unforgivable......that's a harsh word...But like you said You WERE the OW.... and are now looking for reprieve.....
Stellar Wench Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Oh puh leeze. What a ridiculous comment.Like I said... So many of you OW can complain about the BS, but you just can't take it when the mirror is pointed at you. Very telling.
Stellar Wench Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 What you see........doesn't mean that is what the rest of us see. You've read all her posts? You are qualified to be her judge and jury? If so, who appointed you?Obviously not the same person who appointed you.
sad puppy Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Like I said... So many of you OW can complain about the BS, but you just can't take it when the mirror is pointed at you. Very telling. You're a bit clueless, I see. I'm calling Alice out for her constant bashing here. I don't complain about the BS. I complain about Alice's vicious attacks on all the OW here when she should be focusing on her own cheater. Get your facts straight. 1
MissBee Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) And does anyone wonder WHY Alice was a BS???? Hmmmmmm Think about it!! Welll this thread has gone down hill on so many fronts.... I do think Alice can be quite harsh and even unnecessary with some comments she makes; however, I have to comment on this in particular, not so much in defense of Alice but just this notion...as I have seen several OW say stuff like this and my thought is "How simpleminded to assert that" . I am not saying you're simple-minded btw...I'm just saying, I do get that it is usually thrown around as an insult when things get heated...but it doesn't logically make sense. If someone is a BS who is hurt and bitter...it is quite likely that their bitterness was not always their personality but they are in fact bitter on the OW section of a message board because it hits a nerve. This may have nothing to do with their personality at large and how they act when not discussing affairs or dealing with online personas that remind them of such. Likewise, even if this was their all-the-time personality, that person married them so chances are they knew this about them. And finally...we all should know by now that when someone chooses to cheat one cannot blame the mean spouse for it as 9 times out of 10 it is not because of the spouse's personality why the other cheated. I'm not calling you out specifically Lost...but your post just reminded me of something I have seen time and again and I feel like it's a sophomoric insult that can be torn apart very easily. A betrayed spouse being bitter on a forum with OW on it is quite easily explained with many theories that have nothing to do with 'See your bad attitude is why you were cheated on"....come on...this is a childish insult. It's like antagonizing a pit bull and when it bites you point out how vicious such dogs are...I mean really...that makes no sense, as within the context it's behavior is reasonable and it says nothing about how it normally acts when not provoked. Bottomline: pointing to a BS's anger or bitterness about As or even OW on LS as the reason she was cheated on is irrational. Edited March 17, 2012 by MissBee 3
bentnotbroken Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 And does anyone wonder WHY Alice was a BS???? Hmmmmmm Think about it!! As hard as I think...I can't come up with any reason other than her WH has the coping skills of 2 year old having a tantrum. Regardless of what the circumstances of the marital relationship is...cheating is the cowards way out of that mess. 4
frozensprouts Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 angelina, i'm sorry that this thread seems to have deteriorated into a bunch of bickering back and forth...it's too bad, as there were some interesting ideas being discussed that may be useful to someone... anyway... i'm sorry you are feeling bad> but the past in the past, and nothing can change it. All you cn do is learn from it an use it as an opportunity for personal growth...it sounds like you are trying to do that, and i think that's very commendable i'm also sorry you were cheated on. i hope you are healing from that.
Lostinlife4now Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Welll this thread has gone down hill on so many fronts.... I do think Alice can be quite harsh and even unnecessary with some comments she makes; however, I have to comment on this in particular, not so much in defense of Alice but just this notion...as I have seen several OW say stuff like this and my thought is "How simpleminded to assert that" . I am not saying you're simple-minded btw...I'm just saying, I do get that it is usually thrown around as an insult when things get heated...but it doesn't logically make sense. If someone is a BS who is hurt and bitter...it is quite likely that their bitterness was not always their personality but they are in fact bitter on the OW section of a message board because it hits a nerve. This may have nothing to do with their personality at large and how they act when not discussing affairs or dealing with online personas that remind them of such. Likewise, even if this was their all-the-time personality, that person married them so chances are they knew this about them. And finally...we all should know by now that when someone chooses to cheat one cannot blame the mean spouse for it as 9 times out of 10 it is not because of the spouse's personality why the other cheated. I'm not calling you out specifically Lost...but your post just reminded me of something I have seen time and again and I feel like it's a sophomoric insult that can be torn apart very easily. A betrayed spouse being bitter on a forum with OW on it is quite easily explained with many theories that have nothing to do with 'See your bad attitude is why you were cheated on"....come on...this is a childish insult. It's like antagonizing a pit bull and when it bites you point out how vicious such dogs are...I mean really...that makes no sense, as within the context it's behavior is reasonable and it says nothing about how it normally acts when not provoked. Bottomline: pointing to a BS's anger or bitterness about As or even OW on LS as the reason she was cheated on is irrational. Hi Miss Bee! Sophomoric insult, no I don't think so....When I was the OW....xMM wanted someone unlike his w...a woman not nagging, not the mundane issues of life, an ESCAPE. Isn't the OW supposed to be the one that the man comes to for ego uplifting, good sex, a happy dinner companion, a person he can tell his deepest darkest secrets? The perfect woman? Get my drift? Like the GFE (Girlfriend Experience)? Am I making any sense here? xMM would come to see me and I was the perfect other woman....(cough, cough) couldn't wait till he left so I could lay on the couch and channel surf! lol..... Just my opinion Miss Bee! Hope it doesn't offend anyone....
Author Angelina527 Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 I see someone that wouldn't have any remorse had she not got what was coming to her since being in love makes it all ok. Wow....you really do not have a clue about me and your assumptions are way off base. I have been remorseful long before my husband was unfaithful, but I certainly understand everything more clearly now that I am a betrayed spouse, and That makes my remorse even greater.
BrighterWashing Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Lady Grey I was responding to the issue in the original post, precisely not buying into bashing anyone at all and not reading the stories you clearly thought were picking on someone. I do not see how I was picking in someone by giving jmo about the original point of the thread. But thanks for the heads up, clearly it is easy to be caught in crossfire.
beenburned Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Angelina, I get what you meant by "just for fun", as that was my situation exactly. My H had 3 short term sex only flings in the early years of our marriage. Our kids were very young and we had just bought our first home. All of the OW were young, single, childless, and out just for some wild fun. This attitude of fun was also my H's. They both were immature and selfish to deliberately get their fun/kicks at so many other people's expense! I, like others here, could have better accepted the cheating if H had fallen in love with OW and wanted to marry her.
daisy love Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 All affairs start just for fun. Do ya think a mm starts an affair to be sad? Wake up ppl!! The love comes later! Your really being a little self righteous don't ya think cuz nobody is already in love when the affair starts cuz it builds up to that. Sorry your hub muffin cheated on you. What a jerk! 1
Recommended Posts