Cluster B Personality Disorders

[betterdeal]

Brit, what do you want to do?

[Brit]

While I feel your pain about NPD, you speak in such absolutes. If your therapist is telling you absolutes, you need a new therapist.

 

It is not absolutes, but I have to say if your husband has been correctly diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and not just other problems with a few of it's traits in addition to which is common, and in 5 years he has not completely destroyed his therapist to pieces, than I really hope that this therapist is documenting his success, this unheard phenomenom to the psychiatric community.

If he was able to actually have your ex have any self insight into his disorder, it would be the first in history.

NPDers have a play written out in their head how everyone around them should play their part, and when they do not act the pre thought scene, they are quickly devalued and discarded.

I hope you do let us know, maybe since i will have to deal with the ******* for years, it may help to know how someone with 0 empathy, 0 self insight, a huge black hole inside is coping with therapy, actually having another person tell them what is wrong with their behavoir and not be discarded within seconds.

[Brit]

Brit, what do you want to do?

 

I wish not to talk about this Cluster f'ck because it destroys me inside once again....he has ruined a once pretty okay person, and sucked the life out of them, because I did not know what I was up against, and read and read and tried to help, but now know each time I tried to help, I was sticking a dagger in his very fragile self core, i was damaging the 'image' and I received the most awful punishment from it, not physically, but mentally.

[threebyfate]

It is not absolutes, but I have to say if your husband has been correctly diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and not just other problems with a few of it's traits in addition to which is common, and in 5 years he has not completely destroyed his therapist to pieces, than I really hope that this therapist is documenting his success, this unheard phenomenom to the psychiatric community.

If he was able to actually have your ex have any self insight into his disorder, it would be the first in history.

NPDers have a play written out in their head how everyone around them should play their part, and when they do not act the pre thought scene, they are quickly devalued and discarded.

I hope you do let us know, maybe since i will have to deal with the ******* for years, it may help to know how someone with 0 empathy, 0 self insight, a huge black hole inside is coping with therapy, actually having another person tell them what is wrong with their behavoir and not be discarded within seconds.

Hopefully you'll come back in five years, read this and realize how overwhelmingly dramatic and in such absolute terms, your posts read.

 

I sincerely wish you well with your therapy. Make certain your therapist is credentialed up the ying/yang and heavily experienced in dealing with psychotherapy.

[Brit]

Hopefully you'll come back in five years, read this and realize how overwhelmingly dramatic and in such absolute terms, your posts read.

 

I sincerely wish you well with your therapy. Make certain your therapist is credentialed up the ying/yang and heavily experienced in dealing with psychotherapy.

 

Aghhh ha ha, you are just as disturbed as your husband I see, i can see you all being friends, stay out my posts, I am not being dramatic, and surviving NPD is not a joke or light hearted, as you seem to be making it, please just stay away from commenting on my posts. I am being nice here. Bye Bye:) And F-off with your passive aggressive sinceres, I am working on myself, are you? apparently not.

Edited July 18, 2012 by Brit

[Brit]

Aghhh ha ha, you are just as disturbed as your husband I see, i can see you all being friends, stay out my posts, I am not being dramatic, and surviving NPD is not a joke or light hearted, as you seem to be making it, please just stay away from commenting on my posts. I am being nice here. Bye Bye:) And F-off with your passive aggressive sinceres, I am working on myself, are you? apparently not.

 

 

BRIT likes this:)

[CopingGal]

I seem to have traits of dependent personality. I have searched on OCPD due to my OCD, but i guess im just a plain OCDer.

 

Having traits doesnt mean we have some disorder, though.

I assume i hade some of those traits before i got into that relationship and he just made it worse.

 

 

Yep, having traits doesn't mean you have the disorder. We probably all have traits of some personality disorder. It depends on how strong those traits are and how many of them you have. My ex's traits of APD were soooo strong that they were very, very distructive to our relationship. He had some traits of NPD too as I said, a really strong trait he had was he sense of entitlement.

[CopingGal]

Yeah, you're probably right.

I am already spending too much time thinking about this, but i guess its normal, since i just had this "break through".

 

Thanks for the sites and books!

 

Im searching almost everyday on "how to spot a sociopath" and its getting even more real then i can imagine. Im also trying to figure out what i do wrong. Whats "wrong" with me. Im not blamming myself. Like you stated with the other personality disorders, we must have some traits in order to be enablers.

 

Right now for example, i have this weird need for a new relationship and i dont like that feeling. I never had a problem of being alone, or else i wouldnt be in an affair that long. I know im ust spend time on me, but id love to start dating again.

 

Yes. Sometimes I think I need a relationship, so I stay away. It's hard for me. I just need someone to take away the pain and make me feel desirable again. But I'm so tired of getting hurt in relationships. The last two relationships were just jokes, they really were. I had a bad relationship with a selfish man. After that was over, I went out of the frying pan and into fire. This most recent one was even worse that the selfish man....way worse and ALOT more selfish. Now my therapist said she thought it was too soon for a new relationship. Did I listen? No. No. I searched and searched all the time for a man online...someone who could make my dreams come true and take me away from my sadness. The only thing I did was waste my time for years. First, for months looking for a man, and then with that bastard. So I'm gonna just chill....just chill....just chill.

 

I don't need some bastard to make my dreams come true. I'll make my own dreams come true, damnit!

[M30USA]

Yes. Sometimes I think I need a relationship, so I stay away. It's hard for me. I just need someone to take away the pain and make me feel desirable again. But I'm so tired of getting hurt in relationships. The last two relationships were just jokes, they really were. I had a bad relationship with a selfish man. After that was over, I went out of the frying pan and into fire. This most recent one was even worse that the selfish man....way worse and ALOT more selfish. Now my therapist said she thought it was too soon for a new relationship. Did I listen? No. No. I searched and searched all the time for a man online...someone who could make my dreams come true and take me away from my sadness. The only thing I did was waste my time for years. First, for months looking for a man, and then with that bastard. So I'm gonna just chill....just chill....just chill.

 

I don't need some bastard to make my dreams come true. I'll make my own dreams come true, damnit!

 

CopingGal, I don't want you to take this the wrong way because you've given me some good advice, but you really can't expect ANY man to be your savior. I fully understand that you've been involved with a BPD, etc, and you definitely don't deserve that, but as far as things that YOU can change, maybe try not to look towards ANY man for your ultimate fulfilment. I know what I'm about to say is religious, but only God can fill that void.

[CopingGal]

CopingGal, I don't want you to take this the wrong way because you've given me some good advice, but you really can't expect ANY man to be your savior. I fully understand that you've been involved with a BPD, etc, and you definitely don't deserve that, but as far as things that YOU can change, maybe try not to look towards ANY man for your ultimate fulfilment. I know what I'm about to say is religious, but only God can fill that void.

 

You are absolutely right except for one thing, I was involved with a man who had APD and NPD traits, not BPD. But you are absolutely right that I can't look for a man to be my savior. That's why I said I will make my own dreams come true. I'm not a religious person, but I do pray a lot. Thanks.

[M30USA]

You are absolutely right except for one thing, I was involved with a man who had APD and NPD traits, not BPD. But you are absolutely right that I can't look for a man to be my savior. That's why I said I will make my own dreams come true. I'm not a religious person, but I do pray a lot. Thanks.

 

Make sure you're praying to the right God. The Bible says it's possible to pray to demons. There is power in the name of Christ. Even the name by itself.

[CopingGal]

Thank you very much.

[threebyfate]

Aghhh ha ha, you are just as disturbed as your husband I see, i can see you all being friends, stay out my posts, I am not being dramatic, and surviving NPD is not a joke or light hearted, as you seem to be making it, please just stay away from commenting on my posts. I am being nice here. Bye Bye:) And F-off with your passive aggressive sinceres, I am working on myself, are you? apparently not.

Are you aware that quite often NPDers seek out other NPDers or people with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Consider it.

 

Luckily, when I asked the therapist I saw at the time to get over the infidelity and anger, she laughed and said I was fine. Might want to ask your therapist what she/he thinks about the possibility of a Cluster B personality disorder for yourself.

[Anela]

Not sure anymore, good question. After years of being with someone I unknowngly, until couples therapy, and lots of reading to understand, I find myself having become like him in many ways, a defense mechanism. Ths man has zero empathy. I do not like who I have become. I have a hatred and mistrust of men. I choose not to date because of this, not fair to them. I feel I would hurt them emotionally, I am not at this time emotionally available. I am working slowly on myself.

I would like to clarify I do have empathy, I am numb now. It s late, I have taken 8 mg of Klonopin, and cannot relax and sleep. I am tired emotionally. Reading men bickering so much on this sight has solidified my not wishing to put myself out there in the dating scene.

 

I'm reading Codependent No More, and I wonder if you could relate to what the author wrote about those people she initially loathed and wanted to avoid - codependents - only to go through what these people had gone through, and to understand why they had become that way. I'll take a picture of the paragraphs, and link to it here.

[Anela]

Good idea, because yet again, another thread has begun on LS on who should pay for a date, and for no reason I can think of in particular, it really makes my blood boil.

 

That's when I know that I need to step away for a while. I was recently annoyed by someone using the phrase, "She wants to have her cake and eat it, too." It's always bothered me a little, but this time I lost my temper.

 

I've started to read about Borderline Personality Disorder tonight, and although I don't match a lot of it, I can identify with the author of this one book (I'll get the name soon), because she talks about the times when she was so distressed that she would be moaning, and then the moans would turn to screams. This is what has been happening with me since December, when I'm feeling pushed and like I can't take it anymore. Anyone starting in on me, especially if I feel ganged up on, and I'm off.

 

This woman wrote about her running out of the house - just taking off and running towards the bad neighbourhoods, hating herself so much, that she hoped she would become a statistic. I've taken off into the woods several times, one night at the beginning of June, when I'd just sustained a head wound in an argument (accidentally, earlier in the day), it started again, and I took off through the woods. I came back for my bag, water and a book, and then took off again. I didn't care that I might be murdered, but being raped and left somewhere was the one thing that bothered me. So I stuck to quiet streets and as I calmed down, and rational thinking took over, I came back home, sat for a while, showered, ate something (finally), and eventually slept. '

 

I feel fine tonight - I've had a lot of sleep over the past two days - but it's disturbing reading her story, and seeing myself in her, at least in that way.

[Anela]

Brit:

 

imgur: the simple image sharer

 

imgur: the simple image sharer

 

imgur: the simple image sharer

[CopingGal]

My gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for your pain.

[Capris]

I don't need some bastard to make my dreams come true. I'll make my own dreams come true, damnit!

 

Yes, yes and yes!!!

[Capris]

Just found this link from another poster in this forum

 

Sarah Tate - cluster b's

 

Sums it up. :/

[Brit]

Are you aware that quite often NPDers seek out other NPDers or people with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Consider it.

 

Luckily, when I asked the therapist I saw at the time to get over the infidelity and anger, she laughed and said I was fine. Might want to ask your therapist what she/he thinks about the possibility of a Cluster B personality disorder for yourself.

 

It is good you found the help you needed because your husband found comfort in another man/woman. In dealing with the aftermath of years married to someone with NPD, I could care less if the bastard was sleeping around when he was with me, at least he was not around me, abusing me, I had the confidence and strength to leave.

My therapist is extremely qualified, and has no diagnosis for me, my personality is healthy, although temporarily healing from extreme emotional abuse. I am having to go through the long process of grieving, each step a new experience and a painful one.

Your posting has not been helpful, but a yawn, a series of false innuendos and lacks empathy and compassion for another going through significant suffering.

I have asked that you not reply to my posts, and you continue to do so. I will ask once more that you not reply to my posts. Thank you.

[Brit]

You are absolutely right except for one thing, I was involved with a man who had APD and NPD traits, not BPD. But you are absolutely right that I can't look for a man to be my savior. That's why I said I will make my own dreams come true. I'm not a religious person, but I do pray a lot. Thanks.

 

I have stayed away from dating also. I hope you heal first CopingGal, finding another will only be a temporary comfort, and you are at risk in this vulnerable state of finding someone that is not a right man for you.

Remember, too good to be true, usually correct when meeting someone. NPDers, are fabulous actors in the beginning, will woo with dozens of flowers, disquise themselves as a knight in shining armor, charming, my even go as far as buying fabulous gifts, trips....to pull you in.

If they have the power, money, and charm they target the most beautiful, in their minds perfect woman in the room, going at great lengths to woo her, BUT since they are just shells of a human, not insight, no empathy, any slight you cause to harm their false image, you are knocked off the pedestal, and they will target your faults.

Do not go looking, stay off internet dating sites, (full of disordered folks), go out join groups, charities, gatherings in area.

Once I am able to peel myself off the floor from depression, I plan on doing so.

Much hope and love to you and your healing.

[Brit]

Brit:

 

imgur: the simple image sharer

 

imgur: the simple image sharer

 

imgur: the simple image sharer

 

Hi I enjoyed your input thus far....not ignoring your posts, very depressed ATM......zoning out....I am making a deal with myself, this will be the last day I overmedicate myself, and will do better tommorrow:) Zoning is good for right now.

[Brit]

That's when I know that I need to step away for a while. I was recently annoyed by someone using the phrase, "She wants to have her cake and eat it, too." It's always bothered me a little, but this time I lost my temper.

 

I've started to read about Borderline Personality Disorder tonight, and although I don't match a lot of it, I can identify with the author of this one book (I'll get the name soon), because she talks about the times when she was so distressed that she would be moaning, and then the moans would turn to screams. This is what has been happening with me since December, when I'm feeling pushed and like I can't take it anymore. Anyone starting in on me, especially if I feel ganged up on, and I'm off.

 

This woman wrote about her running out of the house - just taking off and running towards the bad neighbourhoods, hating herself so much, that she hoped she would become a statistic. I've taken off into the woods several times, one night at the beginning of June, when I'd just sustained a head wound in an argument (accidentally, earlier in the day), it started again, and I took off through the woods. I came back for my bag, water and a book, and then took off again. I didn't care that I might be murdered, but being raped and left somewhere was the one thing that bothered me. So I stuck to quiet streets and as I calmed down, and rational thinking took over, I came back home, sat for a while, showered, ate something (finally), and eventually slept. '

 

I feel fine tonight - I've had a lot of sleep over the past two days - but it's disturbing reading her story, and seeing myself in her, at least in that way.

 

Running freely a distance sounds wonderful. We all have our problems and traits of one or the other, because we all have different personalities. But, we are all here seeking help, seeking to vent, seeking solace, and learning ways to manage our fears.

I believe the most important lesson for anyone, is that others cannot make us happy, we have to find peace within ourselves and make ourselves happy, and then maybe by chance find someone to share our happiness with.