Author Poconobob Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 Man oh man was I a basket case... I should have been locked up for sure, I am MUCH better now, I'm aware of the crapola I have to deal with. Hmm, where do I start? How about this, I live in florida now, Saint Petersburg to be exact... I am staying away from dating, I have to work on my self awareness. Cathy is coming down to visit from Ohio where she lives and works...Cincinnati. Bryan is with me, doing well.. I'm well now, I had a very, very bad bout of depression....NO strike that, stupidity. I finally got to have proper treatment from doctors!!! ;Yipppeeeeeee I'm off meds, no effexor, no Xanax, no NOTHING, just plenty of vitamins, exercise, diet monitoring, and eating healthy. Still have lots to accomplish...I did go back to work but the job I had when I worked here before had a different ownership and the new one is a dick and we didn't exactly hit it off. Oh, I got my personality back... Hmm, what else, OH, they finally found out my problem(s) at a neurologist, in fact a famous one that people fly in from all over the country to see. Hmm...he found that I have low blood flow to my brain and induced more blood flow there, don't ask, too involved but it worked. They did a personality profile on me and I got outstanding versus before I was likened to be a retard. Hell, I was a retard stupid ass using and abusing myself...FOR WHAT, stupidity FYI... I did quit using on my own cold damn turkey. HARD HARD thing to do.. bob Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellFire Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 It doesn't sound like a loving marriage. She seems pretty cold and distant. All you can do is put some spy equipment in her car like a voice recorder and if you find out concrete evidence, maybe it's time for a divorce. Time to find someone who really loves you, not a selfish... Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 so bob is your divorce final? I am so glad you are doing well. Did the increased blood flow help your headaches? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Mrs H, I suggest you read ALL the pages in Bob's thread to know before making a statement like that. Bob, I posted on JM's thread too, but I really wanted to let you know I think you're great! You've been through some really awful times - And you've now got your stuff together! I'm really happy to hear you're no longer using, and no longer on meds! You must feel so alive! Enjoy life, make the most out of each day! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Poconobob Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 so bob is your divorce final? I am so glad you are doing well. Did the increased blood flow help your headaches? We finally ended it in September.....or was it October, I cannot recall. That is how much it meant to me. So yes, I'm not happy about it but it is done... Oh by the way, she didn't move out of the house until .....GET THIS...... September '05 and since then, I bet you she has called oh at least 150-200 times with a b.s. excuse to call. People I work with said "man that just isn't right" "an X doesn't call the spouse except to cuss them out"... I said well I'm still with our son... But anyway, nobody thinks it is a normal thing. She is coming down to visit next month. She tells our son she isn't happy.... HMMM, jeff told me that she wouldn't be happy. She says she doesn't have the pit in her stomach anymore but that is the only facet of life that is better. Otherwise, she is drinking heavier which before neither of us drank, and I DON'T DO ANYTHING, I won't even think about drinking. For her, BEEEEEEEEEELIEVE me the amount she drinks, and alone all the time, just has to tell me she has had only 4 dates since moving out and all they wanted was sex and so on and so forth and how she now prequalifies saying NO on the sex thing... WHY TELL ME? To peeve me or to say something. I've learned not to read into things as I once did...I only posted this as a wtf type remark and to get outside remarks on it. I don't think I want to keep this thread going but it seems so appropriate. lol anyway... i missed life, and I'm going to do some wild stuff, I want to go sky dive, wind surf, and breathe some life back into myself. Oh, Cathy tells me she "hears" I'm different from former friends here. As I said before, I moved back to florida, we lived here for 16 years. You know the #1 comment I get? So, where is Cathy...when I tell them divorced, i get NOOOO WAY, you'd be the last one's I'd think would be divorced. Tell me how that should make me feel? LOL, there I go, if I were insecure I'd look into it deeper. NOT... Thanks for all the support everyone. bob Link to post Share on other sites
Author Poconobob Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 Mrs H, I suggest you read ALL the pages in Bob's thread to know before making a statement like that. Bob, I posted on JM's thread too, but I really wanted to let you know I think you're great! You've been through some really awful times - And you've now got your stuff together! I'm really happy to hear you're no longer using, and no longer on meds! You must feel so alive! Enjoy life, make the most out of each day! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII thanks... SORRY I can't post more, gotta run. Alive no.... jittery from withdrawal of meds, ya sometimes. The illegal using I wanna hopefully help someone before they use, it doesn't help, it ruined what little self esteem I had left. Don't be praising me for quitting when I should never have turned there in the first place. I am not being a asS about that, I mean it, I liken that to praising a drunk driver for almost killing a family then stopping and being praised....posh! nooo But I do appreciate the support, really I do, if not deserved I do appreciate it and understand the kind words. I'm just insulted with myself but not beating myself over it cuz I cannot go back. Ohhhhhh if I could go back. bob Link to post Share on other sites
Author Poconobob Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 so bob is your divorce final? I am so glad you are doing well. Did the increased blood flow help your headaches? HELL YES the increased blood flow helped... You know what he prescribed is soooooo weird, nitro cream like for heart patients... I put it on my hand and what happens is it increases the blood flow by opening blood vessels. All this time, I wondered what was causing my depression, ANGER, and it is like a whole new world opened up. It is like I was in a coma and now all these memories are coming back which I had problems with short/long term memory and now I am so much more articulate. BELIEVE me, I got some good and bad memories back. Later, bob Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Bob, I am new on LS. You sound like one CLASSY guy who got his grooves back! Good for you and your son! Keep posting... love your thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Poconobob Posted February 23, 2006 Author Share Posted February 23, 2006 Ya know I was going to PM you and tell you thanks for the kind words. The correct thing would be IMO I "used" to be classy and for a while I was assy and now after going to class I alas am finding what it is like not being an a$$.... Can you tell I'm over tired.. But I have tons to do, I just redid my resume "again"... what a moving target it is doing a compelling self expression of your lifes work. I firmly believe that I MUST work heavily on this esteem building quest AND help other people. I contacted Pinellas County to help out; it is dumb I know but the only volunteer thing they have right now is to help at the battered women's clinic. I have to help myself and helping others just might help me to understand my own being. Anyway, I will start sometime after believe it or not a background check! I can only imagine what scum there must be if they have to ensure you aren't a "black listed" person who was formerly a man who hurt ladies. Makes for a scary thougth that someone would hunt their X in a shelter. I have no idea what i'm getting into but I hope I can help... It feels good though... bob Link to post Share on other sites
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