update: He Left!

[MissBee]

It's interesting how things can be misread...I just read the comment sad puppy posted and saw the part that said "so you be a good little OW and be quiet"....and immediately thought that the poster was telling her that she needs to be a "good little OW and be quiet" but in rereading, I realized that the person meant that this could be what the MM is thinking and not that he is being rude and saying that's what he thinks she should do...which gives a different spin on things. But I understand how you could have thought that was negative sad puppy, as I thought so too upon first blush, but in rereading it I see it differently.

[jwi71]

"Things are not all rosy. He hasn't done squat yet. I am curious how he got an appt with a counselor so quick and ta da, things are all working out.

 

Seems like he didn't like the 'chewing out' you gave him; maybe even he never told his wife about the affair. Maybe he is jerking your chair so you be a good little OW and keep quiet.

 

And I hope that you don't start planning a wedding or him moving until until he gets some counseling."

 

THIS IS WHAT I WAS RESPONDING TO - SOMEONE THAT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T READ THE FIRST POST AND ALL WRITTEN ABOVE IS DEAD WRONG.

 

Here's the thing though sadpuppy...nothing has happened yet. I know you are want to disagree but just for a second, what has happened?

 

1) He says he told "Everyone".

2) He says he will move out - lets face it, crashing at a friends is NOT moving out.

3) He will meet with a mediator next week.

 

I cannot know if he has done these things and, really, neither do you. What you have is what your MM says he will do later.

 

I value ACTION over WORDS as words are easily lies. Maybe your MM is lying to you. Maybe not. Maybe your MM is toe dipping and quasi-moving out - but not really "moving out". What I mean is...he has taken only little actions right now - easily reversible actions...and given he was telling you he had to "try for the kids" at night and filing for D in the morning...reverses of course are all too easy.

 

Actions to look for are - which are NOT readily "undoable":

 

1) Meeting his friends and family.

2) Visiting HIS place w/o restriction

3) See his NEW furniture

4) Seeing court documents pertaining to a D.

5) Seeing evidence of separate finances (his own checking account)

 

That's what I mean, specifically about people wallowing in their own negativity, spewing their negativity onto others.

 

Take what rings with you and disregard the rest.

But its very hard, for me, to reconcile how you disparage those who say be careful while you pepper your posts with "confused and sad". In fact, if you recall, Sep 6 you were right sad...then woke up to shocked and happy on the 7th.

 

My story started confused & sad. My story has taken a turn for the better, not to give false hope, but to show that not all these stories end up in the trash, maybe a little hope for others. Folks can take from it what they wish.

 

The part I was saying above...here...this.

You speak of this turn for the better...but not wanting to give false hope. Huh?

 

At the end of the day...you have few actions that are NOT easily undone.

Say what you will, call me negative and bitter if you want, but the short list of "not so easy to undo actions" has, from what you tell us, nothing checked off. This is why "nothing has happened".

 

And maybe it will happen.

Or maybe it wont.

He flipped flopped on you not even a week ago.

I just don't understand why you seem so hellbent on seeing this as "a little hope for others". It seems WAY premature to me.

 

I stand by what I say...nothing has happened really. Step back, give him and his family time to process this.

 

So much can go so wrong.

 

What if the kids decide they hate you?

What if his parents do?

What if his w hires the meanest lawyer in town?

 

Be careful...or not. Your life, your choice.

[alexandria35]

Here's the thing though sadpuppy...nothing has happened yet. I know you are want to disagree but just for a second, what has happened?

 

1) He says he told "Everyone".

2) He says he will move out - lets face it, crashing at a friends is NOT moving out.

3) He will meet with a mediator next week.

 

I cannot know if he has done these things and, really, neither do you. What you have is what your MM says he will do later.

 

I value ACTION over WORDS as words are easily lies. Maybe your MM is lying to you. Maybe not. Maybe your MM is toe dipping and quasi-moving out - but not really "moving out". What I mean is...he has taken only little actions right now - easily reversible actions...and given he was telling you he had to "try for the kids" at night and filing for D in the morning...reverses of course are all too easy.

 

Actions to look for are - which are NOT readily "undoable":

 

1) Meeting his friends and family.

2) Visiting HIS place w/o restriction

3) See his NEW furniture

4) Seeing court documents pertaining to a D.

5) Seeing evidence of separate finances (his own checking account)

 

 

 

Take what rings with you and disregard the rest.

But its very hard, for me, to reconcile how you disparage those who say be careful while you pepper your posts with "confused and sad". In fact, if you recall, Sep 6 you were right sad...then woke up to shocked and happy on the 7th.

 

 

 

The part I was saying above...here...this.

You speak of this turn for the better...but not wanting to give false hope. Huh?

 

At the end of the day...you have few actions that are NOT easily undone.

Say what you will, call me negative and bitter if you want, but the short list of "not so easy to undo actions" has, from what you tell us, nothing checked off. This is why "nothing has happened".

 

And maybe it will happen.

Or maybe it wont.

He flipped flopped on you not even a week ago.

I just don't understand why you seem so hellbent on seeing this as "a little hope for others". It seems WAY premature to me.

 

I stand by what I say...nothing has happened really. Step back, give him and his family time to process this.

 

So much can go so wrong.

 

What if the kids decide they hate you?

What if his parents do?

What if his w hires the meanest lawyer in town?

 

Be careful...or not. Your life, your choice.

 

Great post...I agree with every word.

 

I also wanted to address this from the first post......"He sounded so happy, relieved, excited."

 

OP you do realize that his mood right now is a temporary thing right? You don't think he will be dancing all the way through the divorce do you? He just left and right now that might feel pretty exciting to him but at some point the full impact of his decision is going to hit him and he is going to crash. Even if his marriage is over and even if a divorce is the best decision he is going to grieve and hurt. So I also want to warn you about being too emotionally involved right now. You should step back and let it unfold but not be too attached to the outcome because it really is all up in the air right now. I'm not a BW or a OW and I'm not wallowing in negativity, I just think you need to be cautious and realistic.

[Love Me Tender]

I hope he also does some soulsearching or therapy to discover why he found cheating an acceptible option. If he's not willing to do that, the OW is basically stuck with the same liar the BS was.

Hi jthorne, I was just pondering your post and think that maybe in some situations the very reason a man wanders is because he already feels divoreced if you know what I mean. My boyfriend has been separated for years, but they lived together for three of those first separated years. i'm thinking maybe the MM in this case felt separated for a long time and maybe even the BW did too because why would she otherwise agree so quiclkly to the separation? I don't know, it doesn't always seem so cut an dry.

 

 

sad puppy, I want to congratulate you on your surprise. I hope your relationship turns out to be everything you and Mm hoped for. I'm glad to see some happy endings on here.

[NoIDidn't]

Last weekend, I was around my aunts and my dad. My dad has a history of having been a "MM" and a serial one at that. He cheated on my former step mom and brought those OW around his sisters, me, my cousins, just about anyone that wasn't related to his W.

 

At this cookout, we all spoke about my dad's proclivities to cheating and bringing the women around the family quickly and telling us all about them. And we all discussed how we would never tell those women a thing about his usual actions, feeling we didn't want to rain on their parade.

 

I know you've been told that some posters are "Debby Downers" (how rude, btw), but you really should be careful or at least tell him to slow down. Its going to make his family uncomfortable to have you on the scene so quickly when he isn't even divorced and they have children to consider.

 

I can tell by the huge emotional outburst you've had here that you have your hopes and dreams wrapped up in this relationship. We just think it would be irresponsible on our part not to advise you realistically and have you think about possible pitfalls. It could all turn out for naught, but its better to prepare for the worst while expecting the best than to be blindsided.

 

Good luck. You have no idea of the world you've just entered. Please read up on the unstable nature of the newly separated and divorced. It could only help.

[woinlove]

And just one more thing, ... I wonder if the negativity people bring to these boards is reflective of their own twisted, unhappy world? I am always aware of the paradigm that people speak through, their own life experiences. I just wonder if the wallowing and negativity, where people dwell, is the cause of their own, unhappy relationships?

 

Some of the folks on these boards have been here for a long time, a long time yet their situations don't change, don't progress, are not healthy.

 

Spreading fear, doubt, and negativity may work in your life - but not in mine.

 

I was taken aback by this response, as I thought a lot of posters made it clear they hoped everything worked out really well for you.

 

Then you clarified that by people you weren't necessarily referring to all the people posting here, maybe one, maybe more. The fact that you had nothing to say to anyone who took time to post on your thread, except for a very negative response, makes me wonder how you are really feeling. You have been on a rollercoaster and it is not surprising if you do have strong mixed emotions, but, still, I am surprised that your only acknowledgement to anyone posting on this thread has been so negative.

 

Are you posting here just to let others know of your changed situation and you don't want any responses? Or are you happy with some of the posts? Or are you looking for something else?

[awkward]

We just spoke last night - he did indeed leave, moved quickly to a friend's place for the time being. They did meet with a counselor to figure out how to break it to the kids, 10 & 14 years. Well, lo and behold, the kids DID NOT FREAK OUT. They were pretty calm. The wife, although pissed about the affair, told him she does not hate him. They already scheduled "his days" with the kids. So, he spent all day with them yesterday and all went very well. He believes it may be the beginning of a better relationship with his son. Younger daughter is fine.

 

Did his wife ask him to move out or did he choose to move out? Does his wife know that he is still talking to you or does she believe that this is a trial separation? How long is he planning to live with his friend?

 

My questions may fall in the "Debbie Downer' camp, but I think the answers are important. It's nice to hear that he is working on a better relationship with his son and that he is making steps to end the deceit.

[jthorne]

Hi jthorne, I was just pondering your post and think that maybe in some situations the very reason a man wanders is because he already feels divoreced if you know what I mean. My boyfriend has been separated for years, but they lived together for three of those first separated years. i'm thinking maybe the MM in this case felt separated for a long time and maybe even the BW did too because why would she otherwise agree so quiclkly to the separation? I don't know, it doesn't always seem so cut an dry.

You just made my point. If he was indeed already divorced in his mind, why did he choose to cheat instead of actually divorce? Why didn't he simply decide to face the problems of the relationship head on instead of going elsewhere? Why he think it was a better choice to sneak around instead of divorcing and starting a new relationship open and legitimately?

 

You know the saying, "where ever you go, there you are"? That is true of any new relationship. If you don't deal with the baggage of the last relationship, you bring it to the next. It's misguided to think that because the situation changes, the person does as well.

Edited September 13, 2011 by jthorne

[MissBee]

You just made my point. If he was indeed already divorced in his mind, why did he choose to cheat instead of actually divorce? Why didn't he simply decide to face the problems of the relationship head on instead of going elsewhere? Why he think it was a better choice to sneak around instead of divorcing and starting a new relationship open and legitimately?

 

You know the saying, "where ever you go, there you are"? That is true of any new relationship. If you don't deal with the baggage of the last relationship, you bring it to the next. It's misguided to think that because the situation changes, the person does as well .

 

Excellent point!

 

I think that before anyone "takes on" an xMM permanently or any other person whose behavior was questionable at best, they should stop and consider what is different now? AND not only consider it then proceed to make up the answer by saying, well of course I'm a better fit for him/her so OFCOURSE things will be different! Which assumes that this person's behavior is due to another person and not anything to do with them....

 

I think you have to be critical and I'd get some couple's counseling and be very watchful of actions before I throw caution to the wind, as chances are they have brought baggage and monsters with them and aren't simply born anew because they divorced or whatever else. It is nice to imagine that you will come along and they won't ever do anything they did before with you, because you are special and your love is special....buttt when someone has issues, they could find the most perfect person, it won't matter, as their actions are based on themselves and not the other.

[Trimmer]

Hi jthorne, I was just pondering your post and think that maybe in some situations the very reason a man wanders is because he already feels divoreced if you know what I mean. My boyfriend has been separated for years, but they lived together for three of those first separated years.

Well, whether you label it with one-word - "cheating", "straying", "wandering - or whether you use a longer, phrase-based description: "He felt like he was already separated, so he secretly started a relationship with another woman...", the main point comes down to the same thing: he chose to secretly start a new relationship before ending his marriage. That's the character "feature" that was being pointed out. Whether he "felt separated" doesn't change that red flag.

 

i'm thinking maybe the MM in this case felt separated for a long time and maybe even the BW did too because why would she otherwise agree so quiclkly to the separation?

I know you're not saying it outright, but are you suggesting that because she apparently wasn't needy and clingy, because she was able to show her strength, because she immediately recognized that a deal-breaking boundary had been crossed and chose to enforce it, that the only explanation for her strength and grace was that she probably "felt separated" from her marriage for a long time before that?

 

And just one more thing, ... I wonder if the negativity people bring to these boards is reflective of their own twisted, unhappy world? I am always aware of the paradigm that people speak through, their own life experiences. I just wonder if the wallowing and negativity, where people dwell, is the cause of their own, unhappy relationships?

 

Some of the folks on these boards have been here for a long time, a long time yet their situations don't change, don't progress, are not healthy.

Since since you're speaking in the plural, since my post came among a series of other questioning posts just before yours, since I've been here a long time, I have to assume that my post might be one of the ones you consider to be 'wallowing in negativity.' If that is how you see it, fine, but my intention was to share my own personal experience of kids handling a divorce in a situation not unlike yours. Take it or leave it, but if it sensitizes you - even a little bit - to the possibility that they (and by extension, you, their soon to be step-mom) are going to be processing some difficult issues over the next few years, then that's good enough for me.

 

Spreading fear, doubt, and negativity may work in your life - but not in mine.

That's fine, too. But, if you see things in all black and white - either people are rooting you on and blowing smoke up your skirt, or else they are "spreading fear, doubt, and negativity" - then you miss an important middle ground of critical thought and consideration, where there are greys and colors, where reasonable people find that doubts and fears do crop up and can be examined rationally instead of dismissed and denied defensively.

 

If you see everything other than slavish atta-boy! support as "spreading fear, doubt, and negativity" then you are denying yourself that rational consideration that may help you make some sensible choices about your path forward.

 

I truly do hope for the best for all of you, especially the children.

[26pointblue]

And just one more thing, ... I wonder if the negativity people bring to these boards is reflective of their own twisted, unhappy world? I am always aware of the paradigm that people speak through, their own life experiences. I just wonder if the wallowing and negativity, where people dwell, is the cause of their own, unhappy relationships?

 

Some of the folks on these boards have been here for a long time, a long time yet their situations don't change, don't progress, are not healthy.

 

Spreading fear, doubt, and negativity may work in your life - but not in mine.

 

Um, no, we are just trying to help you keep your eyes open. [And most of us, including myself, wished you the best & said your situation sounds positive due to his honesty which is rare for an MM].

 

If you don't want our advice/perspective, that's fine, but no need to insult us because we shared our opinions on the public message board that you posted on. That kind of attitude makes you look very bad & makes me wonder what YOU'RE so unhappy about!

[26pointblue]

I know you've been told that some posters are "Debby Downers" (how rude, btw), but you really should be careful or at least tell him to slow down. Its going to make his family uncomfortable to have you on the scene so quickly when he isn't even divorced and they have children to consider.

 

I can tell by the huge emotional outburst you've had here that you have your hopes and dreams wrapped up in this relationship. We just think it would be irresponsible on our part not to advise you realistically and have you think about possible pitfalls. It could all turn out for naught, but its better to prepare for the worst while expecting the best than to be blindsided.

 

Good luck. You have no idea of the world you've just entered. Please read up on the unstable nature of the newly separated and divorced. It could only help.

 

This. Exactly. It's 'SILLY' to call people who are trying to realistically point things out that could help you 'debbie downers.' SadPuppy I highly doubt things are so great that you only came here because you wanted cheerleading & applause. If this IS true, then, why? You don't need our validation . . . just live your life & hopefully things work out well. But to come here & post your story & then swirl insults around at people who aren't responding to your thread the way you wanted shows that maybe you do have some issues to ponder.

[Silly_Girl]

You know the saying, "where ever you go, there you are"? That is true of any new relationship. If you don't deal with the baggage of the last relationship, you bring it to the next. It's misguided to think that because the situation changes, the person does as well.

 

However, sometimes that's EXACTLY what happens. In some relationships the ongoing dynamic is so toxic that breaking it can be enough to see significant or wholesale change in their patterns and reactions. Others will have their role so ingrained in them that it would easily move with them in to a new partnership. As usual, it depends.

[herenow]

if he does end his marriage and you do end up together, it may be a good idea to ask him to seek some counseling to find out why he chose to cheat on his wife so that he won't do the same to you

 

i'm not saying that to be snide, but rather to give some advice. it was one of the things i asked my husband to do when he cheated and we got back together. i needed to know why he made the choices he did and that he had learned better ways to handle things.

 

I agree. No change in the person could result in no change in the actions.

[wannabdone]

Wow.... I just read through what happened on this thread.

 

I had given you the exact same advise as the others, just be cautious. I wished you the best, but just to not count your chickens before the hatch.

 

I wasn't thinking of being bitter, and raining on your parade. I was being honest with things that had happened to me and was trying to help someone else from the mistakes I had made. Now, I know you didn't point out my post when referencing what you were talking about. But even reading that post, I didn't take offense to it all. I saw someone showing you red flags to look for and then advising you to be cautious. I didn't see any name calling or anything like that. So, why does that make her bitter? Maybe she was going off her own experiences, and trying to show you what maybe you could not see. Just because people use their own experiences as a reference point doesn't mean they are bitter. I'm really kind of dissapointed with that.

 

There are some people on here that are bitter and hateful. They don't offer any help, just come on to call people names and I guess get their kicks off of putting people down. Doesn't take long to figure out who they are. But, I by no means took the person who referenced as bitter....but then again, you said several posts, and I had been right before the one you copied into your post...so maybe your talking about mine too...who knows.

 

I think its hard to get across emotions in typing, and just as Miss Bee pointed out, you can read something one way, and go back and read it another way the next time.

 

No matter, what.... this isn't over. So you always need to be on guard. I'm telling you from first hand NON BITTER expereince. It makes no difference if he has told his family, my xMM told his, words are very easily taken back.

 

HOWEVER....PLEASE NOTE....I DO WISH THE BEST FOR YOU!!!!

[2sunny]

when the divorce is FINAL and he has done counseling to understand WHY HE cheated on his wife - and when he shows a length of time for being healthy happy and safe - is when you may wish to decide to step back in to a R with him - until then - it is all considered temporary.

 

not ONE thing he's doing screams that he's planning to live a life on his own. he looks like he's dependent upon what she may or may not do.

[awkward]

How are you sad puppy? Is your MM still out of the marital home? I hope you are okay either way.

[sad puppy]

Hello, and thanks for all the words of warning & encouragement. Yep, he's still out, living with a friend. He has started individual counseling of his own accord to find out "why he stayed so long, "why he has to think so much about everything", ... so I believe that is very good. Very good. We have not seen each other. To recap: we saw each other at the end of July, then he went on the vacation with family where divorce was agreed upon. Then it all went crazy with dday, ... So, we have yet to see each other as he wants to go through more of his process to gain clarity, unload some of the immediate baggage and come to me after he has time to sift through all the immediate issues. His friend recommended to him "The Power of Now" which he is reading and liking. I am pretty far down the Buddhist path so I am happy he is starting with this type of reading, as pop reading as it may be. May be the message he needs as I told him, stop trying to figure it all out, just start trying to accept the truth of what is real. I believed he has lived some delusions which have been harmful.

 

I am very wary but he keeps telling me he wants to do this healthy and feel a bit unburdened in his mind. He sounded positively happy initially, last 2 weeks very sad about not seeing the kids every day, but now he sounds better, says he feels better, and says the kids seem to be doing well. He is on his "misery tour" going out with close friends and telling them what's up.

 

Alright, ya ready for the bombshell? Married 16 years, no sex for last 8 years. OMG. I asked him "do you pause and wait for your friends to pick their jaws off the table when you tell them that"? Hmmm, .... he certainly did his tour of duty for his kids, I'd say. Once he told me that, I asked him to please work on himself to find out why he would settle like that. He knows that is unusual.

 

We shall see, I am wary and a natural worrier, but I do believe he seems to be doing this the right way. The money will be an issue, good thing is I am okay in that department. I know this is going to be a slow road. I have no intention of meeting kids or parents until we get much further down the road, MUCH. Of course I want him to file the papers but he needs to go at his speed, and there are kids' scheduled visits, his therapist appts, money issues, and such to sort out.

 

Everything he has told me all along has been true so I am trying to believe him when he says he's doing this for us. Additionally, he has a friend going through a very tragic divorce and the guy is dating but coming up empty handed and is unhappy. He told my guy that's it's hard to find someone, good thing my guy said he doesn't worry about that as he has found me.

 

I am not sucking this down without a critical eye, but it is reassuring to some degree when he says things like that.

 

Thanks for hanging in with me here, I know it's gonna be slow, but we just clicked when we met so this might end up being a really great relationship. Otherwise he knows I'll kick his ass for wasting my time, not funny, true!

[MissBee]

It's great that you're encouraging him to work on himself as an individual versus pushing him to hurriedly hop into a relationship with you; as relationships do not help anyone's issues but only compounds them, and in order for someone to be a good relationship partner, they need to have themselves together first.

 

Good luck to you all!

[FirstNobleTruth]

Taking time to straighten out one's head, heart, and life is the best thing to do between relationships, so this situation does sound like it's taking a healthier direction. I'm happy for you, and I hope you're doing the same thing for yourself. This is a big change for you, too, and you deserve to bring your best self into the future, whatever the future brings. I noticed you said you're pretty far down the Buddhist path, so you know that part of the eightfold path is to do no harm with your sexuality, right? So I imagine you would get some benefit in seeing the truth about whether your A took you off that path. Wishing the best for you and those you love.

[Mimolicious]

Alrighty, this is just to give a quick update. A few weeks ago, I started a thread about my MM discussing & agreeing to a divorce with wife. This was 15 months after we met. Well, suddenly he confessed to the affair, and within 4 days they were recommitting to their marriage, had to do it for the kids, blah, blah, blah. Needless to say I was completely shattered.

 

We had a massively, unhappy phone call on Aug 29 - 3 hours of my tears, my yelling and busting his chops bigtime, and his apologizing. The next week was torture for me, I was in complete psychic pain and agony. So, I called him on Sep 6 and said I needed some clarification as to what happened, how could he walk away so easy, ... He just kept saying he needed to "try again" for the kids. I, of course, was in complete tears but not busting his chops much this time. He had to go, and said he would call me the next night.

 

Sep 7 - I am sitting having breakfast, he calls, says he went home, spoke to wife, and he's moving out this weekend. I was stunned. He sounded all jacked up, breathless. I told him I was having an out of body experience.

 

We just spoke last night - he did indeed leave, moved quickly to a friend's place for the time being. They did meet with a counselor to figure out how to break it to the kids, 10 & 14 years. Well, lo and behold, the kids DID NOT FREAK OUT. They were pretty calm. The wife, although pissed about the affair, told him she does not hate him. They already scheduled "his days" with the kids. So, he spent all day with them yesterday and all went very well. He believes it may be the beginning of a better relationship with his son. Younger daughter is fine.

 

He sounded so happy, relieved, excited. He just kept saying "can you believe I moved out" and "I'm so sorry for all I have put you through". He said his giant burden has been lifted. Told me he's never had a relationship with any woman as he does with me. He's sounding very excited and in fact, a little crazy.

 

I know this is just the beginning of another big adjustment, so I am not being blind, but it does all sound like it is progressing very well. I, also, feel as though a burden of emotional pain is lifting for me. We shall see.

 

I always felt that we did attract each other into our lives. There have been spiritual signs that we both agree are unbelievable. I have been patient, not my nature, but was getting right to the end of that program, that's why I was just bitching at him this summer, telling him, "words speak louder than actions". He finally found his courage. He said he was just imagining some big freak out from the kids and was repressing his feelings for me.

 

So, I know most affairs don't "turn out", but wanted to share my story. This is not to give false hope but to share my story and that you if you are in a sad state such as I, you need to make your wishes know, bust their chops, and be prepared for the worst. I've read that the longer you stay willingly, you make it easier for them to remain married. I've read that if they don't make a move to end the marriage within a year, they most likely will not leave. I did a lot of research to fully understand all the dynamics of an affair. So, here we are, a new day begins.

 

We shall see, but now, for the first time, I know his love for me is real, and it always has been. Sending peace to everybody out there, it ain't easy, I know.

 

Congrats and good luck in your R,and consider yourself very lucky.

 

The bolded- Not yet. Where the kids told the reason? Oh, I am sure I will get heat for this- I know... I know... Kids don't need to be told details and all that. If one day they get a hold of the real reason, they may not be so swelled about their dad's new union.

[phillyfan]

Dude sounds like a big argument that made him go sleep on his friends couch, cos the wife got mad n threw him out - i wudnt take it as much more thn that - sleepin on a friends couch is wat dudes do wen they r waitin for the wife 2 forgive them n let thm back in.

 

And take it from a dude he HAS had sex in d last 8 yrs - im not sayin who hes been havin sex with maybe it aint his wife but its been wit sumone! Us dudes we aint gona last tht long without it.

 

Serious dude I aint tryin 2 get u down, its just the way it is, just hold back, go do ur thing, who knows it mite work out it mite not but now aint the time to be plannin anythin.

[Silly_Girl]

SG- really your style is getting old buddy. Why can't you just deliver your message without the negativity towards others? I like you, I really do but it seems like inserting such insulting labels you take the discussion into the usual beef. It's like a thread killer. Everyone so far has given their opinion, support and contributed to the discussion WITHOUT INSULTIVE SUBS- just like the heading of the forum outlines. Where does it say that you need to call people such demeaning stereotype? The intension is very transparent. Let's grow up already, shall we?

 

If someone feels like reporting me then it go ahead.Can go name calling people but can't take a fair suggestion. Nice!

 

Back to the subject...

 

If you don't like my style of support that's between you and the moderator. I do feel the OP had a lot of negativity from folks who had not been in her shoes. It's a tough situation in many ways

[pureinheart]

Hey SP ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))). A bit late in your thread, although in your last reply you sound really well! It sounds to me like there will be few problems. You sound strong and intelligent.

 

Best Wishes to you!

[Trimmer]

Hey SP ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))). A bit late in your thread, although in your last reply you sound really well! It sounds to me like there will be few problems. You sound strong and intelligent.

Boy, if there was ever a way to jinx it...