Why do women say one thing, and mean or do the other????

[hotpotato]

Most people don't mean what they say.

Like if a man says

 

"Come over to my house for cuddles and movie"

 

that's not what he means. I've also men say they liked me but didn't. They were only trying to get laid. Being honest from the get go is nice, but most men won't want to decrease their chances of getting laid even slightly.

[Taramere]

MOST women (note: not all) don't really mean what they say when they communicate to men with whom they can/will potentially mate. Women will easily go against their word if the situation calls for it.

 

A woman can tell a man that she never liked him/loved him one week, then go chasing him the next. A woman can tell a man, "I'll never do 'XYZ'", then if the man plays his cards right, the woman will do it. When a woman says "I'll never date a jerk again", guess who her next relationship will be with????......

 

Jesus? Ghandi? Bambi?

 

Bottom line, I'm learning that women's words mean ZERO.

 

Opinions??? Thoughts???

 

Which variety of opinion are you looking for? Meaningless, zero value opinions and thoughts from female posters? Possibly not. I'm guessing that "meaningful and insightful dialogue about, and constructive criticism of, the female gender" input from male posters. Which, naturally, no reasonable and logical person could possibly construe as a "bitching about women" session. Only the ladies indulge in that sort of thing, right?

[autumnnight]

A man will never tell a woman that he never liked or loved her, and chase her the next week. Where do you get that one from???

 

When a man clearly says he won't do something, there is a good chance he won't do it.

 

And men are smart enough to not say what their mating/dating patterns will be when they brake up/were left. They may say "with that type of girl, I'll just hit it and quit it" and most of the times they're right.

 

I've experienced what she is talking about more than once.

 

You are wrong.

 

Sorry.

[Got it]

lol Do you really think thats true? There are sooo many examples to prove you wrong that its pointless to squabble over it by typing them out.

 

 

 

 

At times yes. But the OP isnt talking about that sort of situation. We're not talking about being on a diet, and waking up telling yourself, I'm not going to eat junk food today, and then changing your mind and eating 3 candy bars later in the day.

 

Your response, and what the OP is talking about is like night and day. And you know it is...I think you are trying to extinguish the flames on this topic.

 

 

You ask ANY regular, unbiased guy, that isnt afraid to tell it like it is...and he will tell you straight up that most women say one thing and do another. Not on here, but in the real world you will be hard pressed to find a guy that doesnt feel that way. Hell, I know a handful of women that openly admit it. They dont take sides like a lot of women do on topics like this. They know damn well that many women are completely screwed up when it comes to this.

 

EVERY female manager/boss that I have ever known has openly admitted that she would rather have a group of guys work for her than a group of women. Why? Because typically when you put a group of women together, especially in a work environment, the drama, the gossip, the finger pointing, and the catty backstabbing escalates within the group.

Theres so many women that give compliments to other women that are complete bullsh*t and fake. Especially if they dont like the woman, and her outfits look terrible, she will tell her "Oh you look great" to her face, while she's really thinking "How does she even show her face in public with that on"?

 

 

I guess years and years of men complaining about when you ask a woman...."Honey is there anything wrong"? and the woman replyng with "No, I'm fine" when she's actually ready to explode inside is just unfounded, and a complete fabrication of men and our wild imagination huh?

 

Actually I disagree with the bolded. I manage a group of 25 people, while I am far more "dude" like in my mannerisms I was just reflecting on this issue and found I have had far more issues with male subordinates than female. And my HIPOs have all been females. I have found that the male subordinates tend to be passive aggressive, conflict avoiders and have a self entitlement that they want praise for showing up - not something I tend to see in females. I have also seen more issues with male subordinates struggle with reporting to female supervisors than female to female or female to male.

 

There is a small subset of men who can, and who appreciate/like, working for a strong female boss. I greatly appreciate the men who can, and think they are the most successful in the workplace, but have found them to be very much in the minority.

 

I did really think when I started out I would work best with men but over the years I have found that while I work fine with men, as a subordinate they have been less than stellar.

 

The subordinate I work with, which is how my HIPOs present, are forthright, transparent, earnest, proactive, and own their mistakes without excuse or deflection. That is the type of person I am looking for regardless of gender.

[Got it]

A man will never tell a woman that he never liked or loved her, and chase her the next week. Where do you get that one from???

 

When a man clearly says he won't do something, there is a good chance he won't do it.

 

And men are smart enough to not say what their mating/dating patterns will be when they brake up/were left. They may say "with that type of girl, I'll just hit it and quit it" and most of the times they're right.

 

I am sorry, when/how did you become the spokesperson for all men?

 

My husband says all the time he won't get one more serving of whatever. Inevitably he does and then complains about being stuffed.

[Giggle]

People suck. Some less than others.

 

People not doing what they say is actually a pet peeve of mine and I won't say that I will do something if I'm not sure that I will.

 

And guys saying let's just cuddle, silly us for thinking they meant it. Whoops

 

Sometimes I think that old thinking of guys getting a young virgin was on the right track.. Train em up the right way any virgins in ky who wants to experiment with me? Lol

[carhill]

Opinions??? Thoughts???

 

If a woman is pulling the trigger while telling you she loves you, the bullet always tells the truth.

 

What this means is that a word or an action is that moment, that word, that action. The next moment can be completely different and unique. Always believe the bullet.

[hotpotato]

People suck. Some less than others.

 

People not doing what they say is actually a pet peeve of mine and I won't say that I will do something if I'm not sure that I will.

 

And guys saying let's just cuddle, silly us for thinking they meant it. Whoops

 

Sometimes I think that old thinking of guys getting a young virgin was on the right track.. Train em up the right way any virgins in ky who wants to experiment with me? Lol

 

@bold I think that's why they like youngn's, cuz they fall for that stuff. I did. lol

Nowadays, it's an automatic turn off. I'm just like bruh, we are both adults. If you wanna eff,just say you want to eff.

 

LIkewise, any hot young dudes want to experiment with a hot sexy cougar!

[preraph]

Well, I would answer, but since you can't believe anything I say anyway, what's the point?

[Popsicle]

A man will never tell a woman that he never liked or loved her, and chase her the next week. Where do you get that one from???

 

Oh yes they will. It's happened to me before. More than once.

 

And yes, those guys have issues.

[todreaminblue]

I think its up to the discretion of your own perspective on who is truthful or if its part truth or part lie and part throw off........and if your perspective is based on what words come out of someones mouth....then i think its a fail.....as another poster said with family and friends who are close to you its pretty easy to know what is truth and what is not.......because you get used to the non verbal signals.....not just the verbal...you develop a sort of sixth sense.....

 

 

the heart is a six and seventh sense in my opinion......your heart really knows if someone is truthful or when you hear truth..like a burn almost......the same sense that also deal in forgiveness when you dont hear the truth....that muscle in the body, being the gracious heart, needs to have a work out at all times....or you become jaded distrustful paranoid and bitter...not a nice way to be....deb

[SolidGoldTurd]

MOST women (note: not all) don't really mean what they say when they communicate to men with whom they can/will potentially mate. Women will easily go against their word if the situation calls for it.

 

A woman can tell a man that she never liked him/loved him one week, then go chasing him the next. A woman can tell a man, "I'll never do 'XYZ'", then if the man plays his cards right, the woman will do it. When a woman says "I'll never date a jerk again", guess who her next relationship will be with????......

 

Bottom line, I'm learning that women's words mean ZERO.

 

Opinions??? Thoughts???

 

 

I agree with you 100% on this one.

 

That's why actions count so much more than words!

 

If a girl tells you she doesn't want to date, but then openly flirts with you and sends signs she wants you ... she's conflicted. Don't try using logic, but do tap into her emotions.

 

In this case what I'd do is leave her be and let her initiate contact with me. When she does I'd ask her out on a date.

 

Soon as she sees you're serious about just moving on to other things, she'll come running.

 

 

 

It all boils down to this: people want things they can't have.

 

When a guy gets dumped, the first thing he does is beg and plead.

 

The first thing a girl does when she sees a guy walk away from her is, providing she was attracted in the first place, will chase after him.

[bachdude]

Yes, some women play games and so do men.

 

 

Since you are limiting this to how women,

 

 

"communicate to men with whom they can/will potentially mate,"

 

 

how can you know this since most women have not dated you?

Edited May 25, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[William]

Since this question was asked prior by the same member, I merged their threads for context. Thoughtful responses are encouraged. Threads are available, for free, to discuss why men say one thing and mean another, or not. Thanks!

[bachdude]

Since this question was asked prior by the same member, I merged their threads for context. Thoughtful responses are encouraged. Threads are available, for free, to discuss why men say one thing and mean another, or not. Thanks!

 

Moderator, I'm just wondering why you removed my opening sentence.

 

I see, you changed the opening post.

Edited May 25, 2015 by bachdude

[Elam]

Most people can and do change their minds about anyhing at any given time. Not just women. You'd laugh if you saw how men can be a flake when they have options, or how when they have spare money and several items they want to get, how much time and how many times they spend trying to figure out what they want.

 

"communicate to men with whom they can/will potentially mate,"

 

Well, women are more valuable than men. They have more value for several reasons. They are beautiful. Men of all ages and from all historical periods have admired beauty. They are the only way for the next generation to be born, and men need women if they want to have children, and most men want to have children.

 

So women can pick and choose and change their minds regarding the man they are with or with the men who want to be with women.

 

Get used to it. If you want to increase your chances to be picked/have options you can always head to the gym and work out to get buff. Get nice clothes, a good haircut, become socially savy.

 

If a girl tells you she doesn't want to date, but then openly flirts with you and sends signs she wants you ... she's conflicted. Don't try using logic, but do tap into her emotions.

 

She's not conflicted about her attraction to him or about her feelings for him. The women who flirt with men they have no intentions to be with(women make it very easy for men they are attracted to) are doing it for attention. Avoid those like the plague. You might get them if you work hard enough but they'll be flirty with other guys while being in a relationship with you. Plenty of other guys will try to get with them.

Edited May 26, 2015 by Elam

[Male]

Actually I disagree with the bolded. I manage a group of 25 people, while I am far more "dude" like in my mannerisms I was just reflecting on this issue and found I have had far more issues with male subordinates than female. And my HIPOs have all been females. I have found that the male subordinates tend to be passive aggressive, conflict avoiders and have a self entitlement that they want praise for showing up - not something I tend to see in females. I have also seen more issues with male subordinates struggle with reporting to female supervisors than female to female or female to male.

 

 

 

Allow me to retort...

 

Just because you have one experience with a small group of people doesnt mean it warrants a disagreement across the entire situation. That always drives me crazy with women. They have one, solitaire, experience and they think it changes everything. Majority = anything over 50%. So when I say majority of this or that, it doesnt mean 90% it doesnt mean 100%....it simply means the majority. More than, not less than. But everyone always wants to try to inject their one experience into the mix, and think it shoots down my statement.

 

49% of all the situations could be the way you say they are....but that still means 51% the situations play out the way I said, which = majority. You have one experience to go by, I have about 15. Its common knowledge. Its been represented in movies, tv shows, and mentioned on other threads on this very site as well.

 

Its almost like anytime someone on here says something that covers the "majority" of people and how they act theres always that one person that wants to discredit the topic. Like if I said the sky is blur majority of the time. And theres always that little know-it-all kid that has to interject and tell me "nu uh, nu uh...the sky was reddish orange at sunset the other day". Yes Billy, but what color was it for 95% of the rest of that day before sunset?

[Elam]

Allow me to retort...

 

Just because you have one experience with a small group of people doesnt mean it warrants a disagreement across the entire situation. That always drives me crazy with women. They have one, solitaire, experience and they think it changes everything. Majority = anything over 50%. So when I say majority of this or that, it doesnt mean 90% it doesnt mean 100%....it simply means the majority. More than, not less than. But everyone always wants to try to inject their one experience into the mix, and think it shoots down my statement.

 

49% of all the situations could be the way you say they are....but that still means 51% the situations play out the way I said, which = majority. You have one experience to go by, I have about 15. Its common knowledge. Its been represented in movies, tv shows, and mentioned on other threads on this very site as well.

 

Its almost like anytime someone on here says something that covers the "majority" of people and how they act theres always that one person that wants to discredit the topic. Like if I said the sky is blur majority of the time. And theres always that little know-it-all kid that has to interject and tell me "nu uh, nu uh...the sky was reddish orange at sunset the other day". Yes Billy, but what color was it for 95% of the rest of that day before sunset?

 

The OP has been unlucky with the women he's met. Its bound to happen to every man who wants to sleep with them. The solution is to meet as many women as possible. How? Befriend as many men as you can. They all have female friends(or women whose friendzone they belong to) and they can introduce you to a varied amount of women who are all different in personality, ambitions and desires.

 

Don't limit yourself to the women you meet by cold-approaching, women you meet in college or at work. There's a world of women out there and many are looking for what you have to offer.

[Michelle ma Belle]

It seems like that was it.

 

The women said they wouldn't re-marry or fall in love having children already and they end up doing it anyway.

 

I also agree that women (and men) should go with the flow. Life is better and more healthy that way.

 

What on earth makes you think that changing their minds isn't going with the flow?

 

If anything that is precisely what they're doing and why they've changed their mind

[Michelle ma Belle]

Women truly don't know what they want. Women can't make up their minds. They're given too much freedom to make decisions that they're otherwise incapable of doing. This is strictly my opinion from observation.

 

PUH-LEASE.

 

You've GOT to be joking...

[y2k]

'+windowtitle+'

 

This is a big reason why women never know what they want. They need a man to play the game. If he plays it right, she'll be attracted to him. If he acts correct sometimes, and sometimes act weak/incorrect, then she won't know and it will be hard for her to make up her mind.

[autumnnight]

'+windowtitle+'

 

This is a big reason why women never know what they want. They need a man to play the game. If he plays it right, she'll be attracted to him. If he acts correct sometimes, and sometimes act weak/incorrect, then she won't know and it will be hard for her to make up her mind.

 

You are so clueless. But don't worry, you've got plenty of company.

[y2k]

You are so clueless. But don't worry, you've got plenty of company.

 

I practically got back my ex-girlfriend back by keeping in mind that research I posted about.

 

Bottom line, women only say things according to their emotions. As their emotions change, so will their actions. They are NOT very good at using logic. They only respond to certain mating behaviors from men. This is especially true if the woman has sex appeal that is off the charts.

 

Men who have success with beautiful women will back me up.

[Elam]

I practically got back my ex-girlfriend back by keeping in mind that research I posted about.

 

Bottom line, women only say things according to their emotions. As their emotions change, so will their actions. They are NOT very good at using logic. They only respond to certain mating behaviors from men. This is especially true if the woman has sex appeal that is off the charts.

 

Men who have success with beautiful women will back me up.

 

Dude, the success I have with beautiful women comes from lifting weights and watching my looks like the salvation of Planet Earth depends on it. It doesn't have anything to do with women and how emotional they might be or not. lol.

 

Most of the men who are in the company of beautiful women have something to offer. Looks, height, money or fame.

[ltjg45]

The primary problem that men have with women in communications is that men are linear thinkers and women think in curves. For example, I was on a road trip with a lady friend and she says to me, "Do you think that there is a restaurant around here?" Naturally, being a linear thinker and answering the question posed, I said, "I don't believe so." After being sullen and quiet for an hour or so, she blurted out, "What a jerk! Didn't you know that I meant I was hungry and wanted to stop and eat?" I responded, "then why didn't you say so?"

 

My point is that we men tend to take things literally whereas for a woman everything is a curve ball.

 

I have also noticed that men make statements that are permanent in their minds ... the honor thing. But when a woman makes a statement, or vow, they are only stating their intent.

 

My mom and I gets into lots of minor arguments because of that.

 

She asks me a question, I give her a linear response, and then she goes off about something that is completely different than the question she asks me.

 

I keep telling her I am not a mind reader and I never will be. She thinks I should assume what she means by the way she asks the question. I know I can't because I will just assume wrong and that would make her furious if I get that wrong so I don't even bother.

 

One of my 2 supervisors is the same way as well. She asks me a question, give her a logical response, and she either starts laughing at me (which I don't see what's so funny) or give me a look that makes me think I am some lunatic.

 

It really makes it difficult to communicate with them.