Why do men always look at me like I'm a piece of meat?

[Peace&Love]

I'm blessed with curves and an hourglass-shaped body which I had to learn to love. When I was younger, I used to hide my body in baggy clothes. I get a lot of unwanted attention from men on the streets which I'm also accustomed to now. What's been bothering me lately is that the guys in my life (guy friends and boyfriends) only see me as "sexy" and nothing else.

 

I broke up with my last boyfriend because he didn't appreciate me for who I am. He never learned what my favorite music was, my favorite books, favorite movies, etc. but he always complimented me on my body. Now that I'm starting to date again, I've noticed that men are only attracted to me physically. When I asked talked to two of my guy friends about this, they actually propositioned me! So now I'm also down two friends.

 

I'm a bookworm and I have a Master's degree. I've also been through a lot of hardship in my life so there's more to me than just T&A. Besides, I don't walk around in tight clothing with my cleavage hanging out all the time. Are there ANY guys out there who can appreciate a woman for her brains?

[somedude81]

That's because men don't want to F your brain. If you haven't realized this by now, men are driven by their penis.

 

Though your boyfriend was a jerk for not learning more things about you and you were at fault as well for not making him. I don't know how long you were with him.

 

Also I try to learn those things about girls I was interested in, but they all rejected me. So my guess is that learning what her favorite books are, are not a requirement to actually getting her.

[Feelin Frisky]

Be careful not to jump the tracks to become an entire gender-hater. You are frustrated with some experiences but shouldn't project them further than that. You are blessed with something a billion other women would die for. Find a way to be grateful for that. "Men" aren't seeing you as "a piece of meat"--they are seeing you as natures most glorious incarnation and they are part of nature and structured to notice your uber-feminine shape. The only thing I can suggest is to take your education and do something with it to distinguish yourself as a creative or professional person. You will still attract men but perhaps they won't be the ones who act like a bunch of post-pubescent frat boys who can't control themselves. Good luck.

[2011aug]

It's not a bad problem to have, is it? But if it really bothers you, take comfort knowing that the curves will shift as the years go by.

[carhill]

Question: How do you know what I'm thinking if/when I look at you?

 

I ask that as I'm sitting in Dulles airport right now and looking at hundreds of women.

[ShatteredReality]

Well, you could try a new tactic - when you meet the next guy and he asks you out - you're busy for a week (or two) but you'd love to talk on the phone and text. See how well he tries to actually get to know you vs sexting and phone sex. If he is interested in your personality then go on the date a week (or two) later. If not, then tell him you've changed your mind.

 

Opposite of many women I know, men start with physical attraction and then move onto the emotional - typically. But if you force him to start with your brain then your body becomes a bonus.

[verhrzn]

I'll trade... Trust me, you'd far rather be a woman men drool over sexually, but it might take someone special to appreciate your personality, then a woman who men always appreciate for her personality but wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

 

If you don't believe me, try dating while "ugly"... and you'll quickly appreciate the fact that you get admired for your looks.

 

But if it really bothers you that men are SO attracted to your looks they ignore your personality become one of us ugly girls. Give yourself acne, never wash your hair, wear wrongly proportioned clothes, etc. I can say with confidence you'll want to switch back in no time.

[ShatteredReality]

That's because men don't want to F your brain. If you haven't realized this by now, men are driven by their penis.

 

Sort of interesting side note (not to thread jack here). I had a guy start hitting on me - first because he "felt my smile all the way down to his toes" and secondly because "my brain is just f***ing awesome". Apparently my other physical attributes were quite secondary to a nice smile and extensive vocabulary coupled with a decent sense of humor? (He literally told me he'd love to have an hour alone with my brain in a room and a box of condoms...dude was the most forward SOB I've met in some time)

[Almond_Joy]

(He literally told me he'd love to have an hour alone with my brain in a room and a box of condoms...dude was the most forward SOB I've met in some time)

 

 

LMFAO that's the best pick-up/come-on line I have ever heard. I would be seriously amused and thoroughly charmed if a guy said this to me.

[Peace&Love]

Be careful not to jump the tracks to become an entire gender-hater.

 

I'm not generalizing here. I'm only wondering why I only attract pervs and sleazeballs.

[Peace&Love]

Question: How do you know what I'm thinking if/when I look at you?

 

I ask that as I'm sitting in Dulles airport right now and looking at hundreds of women.

 

I don't know what you're thinking about. Why would you ask that?

[ShatteredReality]

LMFAO that's the best pick-up/come-on line I have ever heard. I would be seriously amused and thoroughly charmed if a guy said this to me.

 

Oh yes, it would have undoubtedly gotten my attention if we weren't both married - to other people!! LOL.

 

Actually, I responded to that particular comment by saying he was welcome to come pick up my brains after my H was done f***ing them out of me...it garnered another laugh and him telling me to look him up if I ever get divorced...(yeah I know the response was a bit crude - but c'mon, hitting on a married woman is kinda crude - right?)

[Severely Unamused]

Look on the positive side here: You have a very convenient filtering mechanism.

[Almond_Joy]

Oh yes, it would have undoubtedly gotten my attention if we weren't both married - to other people!! LOL.

 

Actually, I responded to that particular comment by saying he was welcome to come pick up my brains after my H was done f***ing them out of me...it garnered another laugh and him telling me to look him up if I ever get divorced...(yeah I know the response was a bit crude - but c'mon, hitting on a married woman is kinda crude - right?)

 

Well, if he's married, and knew you were married beforehand and said that anyway, it's not quite as funny. Definitely not charming either.... :-/. And yeah hitting on a married person is pretty crude, to put it nicely.

[carhill]

I don't know what you're thinking about. Why would you ask that?

Because you made an assumption in the title of your thread.

[Eddie Edirol]

I'm not generalizing here. I'm only wondering why I only attract pervs and sleazeballs.

 

You dont attract pervs and sleazeballs, its just that they are the only once aggressive enough to try to approach you. The rest of the guys either arent brave enough, or you arent hanging around the right cerebral guys.

[D-Lish]

I don't know what you're thinking about. Why would you ask that?

 

Because your thread title asked "why do men only look at me as a piece of meat".... So he was asking how you could possibly know what every single man that "looks" at you thinks.

[Feelin Frisky]

I'm not generalizing here. I'm only wondering why I only attract pervs and sleazeballs.

You attract everyone. It's only the pervs and sleezballs who tip their hands. Make your way into better circles, find someone, get married and become a MILF. (Never mind that last item.)

[D-Lish]

You dont attract pervs and sleazeballs, its just that they are the only once aggressive enough to try to approach you. The rest of the guys either arent brave enough, or you arent hanging around the right cerebral guys.

 

Speaking of cerebral guys.... With your level of education you must have met men in University, and surely you must now be working in a career that gives you access to intelligent and available men that aren't as sleazy?

[threebyfate]

This is the perfect way to siphon out the superficial men. If all they do is to compliment you on your looks, you know they're not keepers.

 

I used to ask men the question, "what do you value in me?". Their responses will define your reaction!

[Peace&Love]

Because you made an assumption in the title of your thread.

 

I didn't make an assumption--I AM pointing out the fact that guys always look at me like a piece of meat, and that means guys who I've met or encountered in person. YOU haven't looked at me in person nor have you seen a photo of me so obviously you don't count. It is you who is making assumptions.

[Shaun-Dro]

I'm blessed with curves and an hourglass-shaped body which I had to learn to love. When I was younger, I used to hide my body in baggy clothes. I get a lot of unwanted attention from men on the streets which I'm also accustomed to now. What's been bothering me lately is that the guys in my life (guy friends and boyfriends) only see me as "sexy" and nothing else.

 

I broke up with my last boyfriend because he didn't appreciate me for who I am. He never learned what my favorite music was, my favorite books, favorite movies, etc. but he always complimented me on my body. Now that I'm starting to date again, I've noticed that men are only attracted to me physically. When I asked talked to two of my guy friends about this, they actually propositioned me! So now I'm also down two friends.

 

I'm a bookworm and I have a Master's degree. I've also been through a lot of hardship in my life so there's more to me than just T&A. Besides, I don't walk around in tight clothing with my cleavage hanging out all the time. Are there ANY guys out there who can appreciate a woman for her brains?

 

See, the thing is, I used to be that very guy, albeit a long time ago back when I didn't know any better. I used to always express interest in a girl based on who she was as a person. And guess where it landed me? That's right, straight into friendship territory with no benefits.

 

Why you complain about a man only wanting you for your body is what a man is supposed to desire you for, among a few other things, is beyond me but I assume maybe you've just grown a little tired of it now?

 

In the next 20 or so years, when you're over the hill, you will long for the days when men admired your looks and sexy figure.

 

I continue to shake my head at you women because you make things so complicated when it's so easy. Us men want the simple things from you all but why you refuse to accomodate that, well, it'll just leave you single for eternity. We're not going to change. You ladies need the changing.

 

Is it my imagination or has American cultured dating really gone to hell in a basket after the female liberation movement? Nah, I don't think so.

[Peace&Love]

Because your thread title asked "why do men only look at me as a piece of meat".... So he was asking how you could possibly know what every single man that "looks" at you thinks.

 

You didn't read my title correctly either. My question is, "Why do men always look at me like I'm a piece of meat?" as in the ones I have met and/or encountered personally. I also did not ask, "Why do all men always look at me like I'm a piece of meat?" just for the fact that I wasn't trying to generalize.

 

Speaking of cerebral guys.... With your level of education you must have met men in University, and surely you must now be working in a career that gives you access to intelligent and available men that aren't as sleazy?

 

Yes, I DO know and have access to intelligent men BUT:

1) that doesn't mean I want to date them.

2) just because they're intelligent and educated doesn't mean they can't be sleazeballs, too.

[Peace&Love]

Why you complain about a man only wanting you for your body is what a man is supposed to desire you for, among a few other things, is beyond me but I assume maybe you've just grown a little tired of it now?

 

In the next 20 or so years, when you're over the hill, you will long for the days when men admired your looks and sexy figure.

 

The ideal is for a man to appreciate me for both my mind and body and not just my body--that's my complaint here. I have more to offer than just sex.

 

Us men want the simple things from you all but why you refuse to accomodate that, well, it'll just leave you single for eternity. We're not going to change. You ladies need the changing.

 

Is it my imagination or has American cultured dating really gone to hell in a basket after the female liberation movement? Nah, I don't think so.

 

1) What are these "simple things" you speak of?

2) I do have a fear of growing old but not because I'm afraid of how I appear to other people (especially men), but because I fear death.

3) And which female liberation movement are you referring to? There were several different waves throughout American history, including the current one.

[Shaun-Dro]

The ideal is for a man to appreciate me for both my mind and body and not just my body--that's my complaint here. I have more to offer than just sex.

 

 

 

1) What are these "simple things" you speak of?

2) I do have a fear of growing old but not because I'm afraid of how I appear to other people (especially men), but because I fear death.

3) And which female liberation movement are you referring to? There were several different waves throughout American history, including the current one.

 

As much as I would love to state what most men want from a woman, I'd been the brunt of reports by bitter counterparts, so I'm gonna withhold on this for now. Feel free to message me, though. Wouldn't mind a little one to one with you.