bentnotbroken Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 So nobody will answer my question? lol. Apparently not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilikesunita Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 You wanted proof, and I gave it to you. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 You wanted proof, and I gave it to you. Proof of what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilikesunita Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Proof of what? I posted two hyperlinks and nobody responded. Even still. it's not my issue. I understand the general vibe here, so it's no gripe to me. Unless somebody can prove me wrong, well I'm game.:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I posted two hyperlinks and nobody responded. Even still. it's not my issue. I understand the general vibe here, so it's no gripe to me. Unless somebody can prove me wrong, well I'm game.:bunny: You are of the belief that someone wants to prove something to you. It is apparent that your claims have been met with as much interest as one can muster for something that will serve the same purpose as bashing one's head against the nearest wall with a lot less energy expended. Link to post Share on other sites
verner212 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 My first time on here,anyway,i am 51 my brother is 57,he lives 3miles from me and my mom.i am on the 3rd fl mom on the 2nd fl.i am very much sicker then my mom,even dr gave me 6months to 1 yr of life left.my mom had a stroke in october and now demenshea.i do everything for her.and brother helps when ever.he keeps blaming me for everything,even stuff from 30 yrs ago,that i don't even know about.for 9months i have been asking him for just 1 day off.i have 22 illnesses and deaseses.i have lost 80lbs since moms stroke,and brother don't even believe we are that sick.he yells and verble abuses me,you this and you that and your just like mom,and yada yada yada.....i cry every night in my pillow.before we were all a loving family,since mom got sick he is a other person.all i know to do is pray for him.i don't know why he is treating me like crap.his wife is no prize package also,she says jump he says how high.please someone tell me what is wrong with him?we all are christians,and he even throws that and his birthday card in my face..help.thanks Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 (edited) Ok, first, are you in the United States? Second, relax, deep breaths, and realize that your brother does NOT run your life. You DO have the right to have a life separate from him. We will help you achieve that. Third, why don't you start your own thread, so you can get more replies? Edited August 25, 2011 by turnera Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Wow a question gets asked and all I have seen is ugliness in the answers. This person seems to be of the belief that several people on this site seem to uphold family abuse. I honestly can see where a person would get that idea jusging by some responses to postings regarding family issues. The most recent one I saw was where a girl asked about her mother slapping her. Some upheld the mothers act of violence over the daughter calling her names. When people called the mother's actions on the floor some did all they could to uphold the mothers actions. I have seen this reaction over and over in threads about family issues. I do not care if a person is living with their parents or family there are basic HUMAN rights everyone is entitled to. Putting your hands on others regardless is wrong. Does the mother go around slapping everyone who calls her names or says something she doesnt like? If i slapped everyone that pissed me off id be in jail and out of a job. Again this is not the only thread but I have seen several others and no I am not about to waste my 15 min break digging up old threads I am just making stabs at what I think the OP is trying to get at. I think thats where the OP was coming from Link to post Share on other sites
esteticmpmadnv Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 it is unmarred right i assume it can be still more intelligent if someone pleasure make changes. rn rnthose are vast games i without exception act to save fun you can into this also îùç÷é ôìàù áàáì èøàáì | îùç÷é éøéåú | îùç÷é áøáé Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Ok, then, to go back to sunita's original question, what he/she is describing is a human nature issue, that of taking what you have for granted, for assuming that those who love you will always love you, and that you don't have to move mountains any more to please them. People often bend over backwards to impress strangers, neighbors, coworkers - to get their approval. Which is what we all want, deep down. Those who are 'ours' by birth or marriage...we assume they love us and we don't have to impress them. So we don't. But that's not necessarily abuse. Of course abuse can happen in any situation, but your standard version of treating family like crap doesn't necessarily translate into it. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I've never stated that it's ok for anyone to abuse anyone! Assuming I'm included in the 'all' !! lol.. You all state it continually, and continously allude to it. To people close, how can it not be? Who despises a wife, girlfriend, friend, sibling, parent, etc? Ordinarily is it deemed normal/usual to do so? Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Ok, then, to go back to sunita's original question, what he/she is describing is a human nature issue, that of taking what you have for granted, for assuming that those who love you will always love you, and that you don't have to move mountains any more to please them. People often bend over backwards to impress strangers, neighbors, coworkers - to get their approval. Which is what we all want, deep down. Those who are 'ours' by birth or marriage...we assume they love us and we don't have to impress them. So we don't. But that's not necessarily abuse. Of course abuse can happen in any situation, but your standard version of treating family like crap doesn't necessarily translate into it. I agree with this....thats probably why most parents who do treat their kids like crap dont see the aftermath until the kids are gona far far far away. I think sometimes families and parents forget that just because someone is related to you does not mean they have to put up with your crap. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 I've never stated that it's ok for anyone to abuse anyone! Assuming I'm included in the 'all' !! It doesn't matter if you say what the mother did was wrong, as long as you aren't screaming that mom should be drawn and quartered...you support abuse. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 I agree with this....thats probably why most parents who do treat their kids like crap dont see the aftermath until the kids are gona far far far away. I think sometimes families and parents forget that just because someone is related to you does not mean they have to put up with your crap. That works the other way, too. I see tons of kids in their teens and 20s who not only take their parents for granted, but they get an attitude if their parents don't keep forking over money and anything else they want. That's what parents are for, right? Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Where I live its more of the parents have treated their kids like crap and once the child can get away they stay away. My highschool bff's parents were off the chain. When we were 19 she went on a double date with my then fiance and a mutual friend of ours. Now her mother said it was ok for her to go but apparently her father did not like it. So when we pulled in to drop her off he pointed a gun a all of us and stated that we needed to get our such and suches out of his so and so yard. He was so controlling he refused to allow her to close her door to change clothes(she was in her late teens early 20s). He ran off any boy who dared to look her way. Threw dishes at her shoved her and dragged her by her hair. This is not the only case ive seen hers was mild. I remember when she moved away(several states away) people kept telling her that they way she was treated was no big deal and such. I mean I can get where the OP is coming from. Parents can bide their time and wait until the kid is 18 and be done with them and also on the same hand the kid can do the same. It is a two way street. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Where I live its more of the parents have treated their kids like crap lol, that's because of your age. How many 45 year olds do you hang around with? Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Actually one of my really good friends is in her 40s and she has no real complaints about her kids and money. I am in my 20s but I am also getting close to 30 and now all my peers have kids of their own. They talk about how thier parents treated them and how they vow to do different. Honestly thats all you can do. I dont like that my mother was a helicopter parent but I am now an adult and so I have a choice in how I will and will not raise my child when i have one. I am sure when they get to have kids of their own they will modify how I raised them or even completely turn a 180. I know people complain about social scientist theories and studies on parenting but if you get the studies from a good source and not a mass produced magazine(like cosmo) you can find some very helpful parenting advice. Sometimes when studies are done and released to the public the editor leaves out information sometimes it is on purpose sometimes it is because there is an agenda they need to push. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Quite true. Magazines always push their own agenda. Just business. That said, if you want REAL information, try looking up papers from conferences. That's where you get the real data on things. I don't know what kind of conferences there are for things like families. But in the oil industry, in which I work, there are things like spe.org (Society of Petroleum Engineers) that sponsor tons of conferences, and you can find the papers from them, or links to them, on their website. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 yes, all of you do. You always say that the child should bear the brunt and that the parent gets off scott free. Hmm... all human relationships are a two way street, and there never is total blame in life. Never. Please cite examples. Link to post Share on other sites
NotKelly Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 I'm sorry, but there are families where the family members all seem to think that they have free reign to abuse each other, or treat each other with a lack of respect. It tends to stem from family situations where the parents didn't have much money or much real compatibility in the first place. My sister seems to see me only as someone to be used at her convenience - or to abuse, if she feels like it - and that I'm not supposed to complain, because hey, we're family. It's only been in recent years that I've made the quiet decision to stop trying to be warm and "normal" with her, because it is just never reciprocated. I feel sorry for her, that she is so wrapped up in her own troubles that she has to treat me like I'm a sack of potatoes with no feelings. When we see each other, she never asks how I am, how my job is going, etc. When she volunteers info about her life, I always try to make conversation, ask questions, give her attention - but she never, EVER does the same when I volunteer info about my life. Nothing. The sound of crickets. I realized that she simply isn't emotionally capable of doing this. So, I'm not going to waste energy volunteering info about my life any more. I'm just going to expect that, when we meet, she's going to just talk about herself and never respond to anything I say about myself, and so I'm not going to waste a single bit more energy trying to get her interested. Because she just isn't. And never will be. She's emotionally stunted and I cannot help her. I'll keep up the routine of asking her questions about her life and conversing like normal people do, when she talks about her life - because that's all she is emotionally capable of - talking about herself. I treat her like a stranger in this way, because that is all she can handle. All this gooey talk about "families are so wonderful" - I have never understood it because that has NEVER been my experience. All I've experienced from my family members is rising levels of self-centeredness and a complete lack of even basic politeness and civility. I've grown tired of trying to be the only polite and civil person. Silence is what these people deserve. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts