Butterflying Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 He's just not that into you. Forget about this guy. It doesn't matter what his reason is. Like others have posted, nothing aside from death or a major catastrophy would prevent him at least texting or calling you if he's interested. This kind of behavior is what people do when they don't know how to tell you "It's over." Sometimes this happens too when a person is afraid to officially break it off because they want to keep you on the sideline just in case the person they really want isn't available. I'm dealing with this exact situation right now. I've decided it's not even worth thinking about anymore. Just move on, make yourself available for a better man to enter your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 Does he have a Facebook that he has been active on? An e-mail you could send a message to? Could you stop by his place? Obviously his phone is off for one reason or another, so find another way of communication. But. This is starting to look more and more to me that he may be with someone else or doing something that he shouldn't be doing. Which is even more reason to get to the bottom of it. Trust me, I understand your frustration more than you'd believe. I ended up going by my ex's place (after no word for two weeks), just to find out that apparently he got involved with the law, and had been laying low for a while, so that he didn't get caught and because his nerves were making him too sick to move. It was a horrible excuse (and I was going to dump him, but he swore to never do it again), but it did ease my mind. Sitting around waiting and plotting to breakup with him isn't doing that..so do something else or move on. I'm glad to know that you understand where I'm coming from. I know that him cheating on me is a possibility, but I find it unlikely. I trust him when it comes to that, and I believed (still believe) what he told me before that he'd never do such a thing. He doesn't have a history of cheating either. Sure, we might not have been all over each other as much as we were when we started out, but he was still very affectionate toward me. I've gotten a couple of suggestions to drop by his place and talk to him, but I must admit that I'm afraid of what I might discover. Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I did call, 3x yesterday, but I went straight to voice mail. Then I sent a text to tell him that I was wondering what was going on, that it was bothering me that we hadn't talked for almost a week, and that I felt like I didn't exist to him anymore. Still, nothing. That sucks. I'm sorry this happened to you. I dunno about anyone else...but I'd assume he's moved on from you. What a jerk he is. I wish people could just come out and say "I had fun, but I'm not into you like that and would like to remain open to meeting other people." Yeah we know many can't take that hard truth, but it's better than sitting there wondering what happened and where things stand. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 He's just not that into you. Forget about this guy. It doesn't matter what his reason is. Like others have posted, nothing aside from death or a major catastrophy would prevent him at least texting or calling you if he's interested. This kind of behavior is what people do when they don't know how to tell you "It's over." Sometimes this happens too when a person is afraid to officially break it off because they want to keep you on the sideline just in case the person they really want isn't available. I'm dealing with this exact situation right now. I've decided it's not even worth thinking about anymore. Just move on, make yourself available for a better man to enter your life. On the one hand, it's hard to think that he could drop me just like that because he suddenly decided it's over between us, especially after the time we'd spent together over the last five months, our camping trip included. But it's also hard to ignore the way he's been treating me this past week. Radio silence, save for one text message about his sunburn and his studying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 That sucks. I'm sorry this happened to you. I dunno about anyone else...but I'd assume he's moved on from you. What a jerk he is. I wish people could just come out and say "I had fun, but I'm not into you like that and would like to remain open to meeting other people." Yeah we know many can't take that hard truth, but it's better than sitting there wondering what happened and where things stand. If he really were moving on already like you said, then he is a jerk. It's like I don't deserve any respect. He did say he had fun, just not the part where he was going to pull my heart out of my chest and shred it into pieces. Link to post Share on other sites
SnowandStars Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Hmmm....5 months in I don't think it's a bad idea to just drop by. You deserve closure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 I will some time this week. Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 If he really were moving on already like you said, then he is a jerk. It's like I don't deserve any respect. He did say he had fun, just not the part where he was going to pull my heart out of my chest and shred it into pieces. I know you'll hear this to death, but you deserve better and he didn't deserve you. I might come down hard on women who act flakes, but I can't stand it when my own gender acts childish and then has the audacity to complain about how women act. I hope you find a better man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 I know you'll hear this to death, but you deserve better and he didn't deserve you. I might come down hard on women who act flakes, but I can't stand it when my own gender acts childish and then has the audacity to complain about how women act. I hope you find a better man. Thank you so much. It really means a lot to me. I hate feeling like dirt to him, especially now that I've finally admitted to myself that I love him. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 I don't want to scare you, but are you sure that nothing bad happened like a car accident? You need to make sure of that, for all you know he could be in a hospital right now. Can't you go over to his house and see if he's home? If he's at home and well you can just ring the doorbell and ask what's going on. If he says this was his way of dumping you, then goodbye and next. Because after a week of NC by him without any indication that things were going to end you have a right to closure. In the status quo you'll just keep wondering why. And screw it if that makes you seem needy, because in the case he dumped you then this is exactly the kind of thing he can expect. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Nexus, if you read the thread, he did respond to her text. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 I don't want to scare you, but are you sure that nothing bad happened like a car accident? You need to make sure of that, for all you know he could be in a hospital right now. Can't you go over to his house and see if he's home? If he's at home and well you can just ring the doorbell and ask what's going on. If he says this was his way of dumping you, then goodbye and next. Because after a week of NC by him without any indication that things were going to end you have a right to closure. In the status quo you'll just keep wondering why. And screw it if that makes you seem needy, because in the case he dumped you then this is exactly the kind of thing he can expect. I'm sure he's not in an accident. His family would have already let me know by now if something bad had happened to him. I'm thinking that this could be his way of saying that we're over. Or that he's secretly dating someone else. Or he just really wants to be alone. I don't know what else to think, but I'm sure that in all three scenarios, he sure as hell doesn't want me in the picture. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion! I really appreciate it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 It's ok, there will be a Man for you who will find you perfect for them one day. I hope before 2012.... Thanks for making me laugh! First time this week, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 After 5 months you deserve some sort of an explanation. I would go and visit his house. Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 gothowitz watch this and be blessed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBI4Bh2z9W8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Thank you Teknoe! I love Madea! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Make sure to bring a rope, shovel and fertilizer. What's the fertilizer for? Haha! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 After 5 months you deserve some sort of an explanation. I would go and visit his house. I know. But he's decided to keep me in the dark. Maybe it's a blessing that I don't know why he's decided to give me nothing but radio silence. As far as I know, I did my best, tried to be my best for him, but in the end, he threw me away like a useless piece of trash. The only reason I'll visit will be to get my stuff that I've left behind. Link to post Share on other sites
NoReallyThatHappened Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Just wanted to say this guy sounds like a real piece of work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 (edited) Just wanted to say this guy sounds like a real piece of work. I think I idealized him. He's 6 years my senior, and I looked up to him. I thought that he was mature enough to be in a relationship, a relationship with me, but I guess he's not. He still thinks of only himself, and he was never really concerned with my welfare. I used to commute through rainstorms just to see him, cook for him, make sure his favorite shirt was without a stain, fold his laundry... And now, he's gone. Here's a bit of back story by the way: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t278763/ I should've listened to what they said about him. Edited July 11, 2011 by gothowitz Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Thank you Teknoe! I love Madea! Ah cool, me too Since you like Madea, one more... and this one is SUPER GOLDEN Link to post Share on other sites
Lilmisus Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 You're already acting like y'all are broken up, by saying how much you did, and how he threw you away like trash. I agree with Nexus when he says that something could have happened, and that's the biggest reason you'd want to go by his place. Or..like my ex, he might have gotten involved with the law, and could be in jail. Maybe his not contacting you has absolutely nothing to do with you? You don't know, so don't assume..I know how bad it can drive you crazy. I agree that this is probably his way of ending things with you, but unless you're willing to stop by his place and make sure he paid his telephone bill for the month, and make sure that his car isn't in the shop, then I'm not saying for sure that it is or isn't. Trust me, you'll feel so much better once you go by. As soon as I saw my ex and saw he was well (I was worried to death), I felt loads better, and the wondering and the plotting came to an end. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Chick Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 (edited) I do not recommend stopping by his house unannounced. I have done this more than once, and NEVER did it turn out well and EACH time I regretted I did it. I am talking guys I was seeing but had done the "disappearing" act like you said, not someone I was in a serious, committed relationship with who I knew I could stop by,no problem, because we had reached that level of seriousness. My philosophy now is...if in doubt...don't. Honestly I think it is pushing a boundary if you do stop by unannounced to his place. Edited July 11, 2011 by Hot Chick Link to post Share on other sites
Author gothowitz Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 I do not recommend stopping by his house unannounced. I have done this more than once, and NEVER did it turn out well and EACH time I regretted I did it. I am talking guys I was seeing but had done the "disappearing" act like you said, not someone I was in a serious, committed relationship with who I knew I could stop by,no problem, because we had reached that level of seriousness. My philosophy now is...if in doubt...don't. Honestly I think it is pushing a boundary if you do stop by unannounced to his place. My thoughts exactly. Besides, in this day and age, one can easily contact somebody else if they really wanted to. He has all the gadgetry as well as the Internet connection necessary to reach out to me but it's obvious by now that he's made a choice not to talk to me despite my efforts to communicate with him. And I've also said that his family could very easily let me know if something had happened to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Kurt Kobain Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 One should always be careful with relationships as they are very fragile. I found a very interesting quote to guide the males for safety. "To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation." Link to post Share on other sites
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