Will you wait few months for sex for a girl?

[conehead]

Yes or no?

[Cee]

Your guy is a 33-year old virgin, right?

 

I think that information is relevant to the discussion.

[tigressA]

I think guys would do that if they're sufficiently interested in the girl, not just sex and, moreover, if they don't sense that she's using sex/promise of sex as a tool to get him to like her more.

 

And believe me, guys can smell that manipulation a mile away.

[Saxis]

Assuming we were seeing each other regularly and exclusively, I'd wait at most about two months.

[rafallus]

If "waiting a few months" means there will be distance, you can probably pick up where you left after you reconnect.

 

If you are meeting regularly, but artificially put limits, then I don't see a point.

[Saxis]

artificially put limits

 

Some people don't believe it's artificial. There's risk associated with sex, and I'd rather build a little trust with someone before jumping into bed with them.

[Andy_K]

If she wants to wait months, I think it's unlikely we have compatible attitudes to sex, so no.

 

If on the other hand she's got a broken hip or is recovering from some medical condition that prevents any such activities for a while, then yes.

[delilah123]

If she wants to wait months, I think it's unlikely we have compatible attitudes to sex, so no.

 

If on the other hand she's got a broken hip or is recovering from some medical condition that prevents any such activities for a while, then yes.

 

 

See I wonder about guys with attitudes like this - what IS your attitude about sex and why would it affect us past the first 2 months of waiting?

 

I'm very sexually open, happy to try new things, like to have sex often and am very generous, once I'm in a committed relationship. I do think sex is important and I do think that it is nice to have an element of trust before you have sex. So I'd want to wait at least a month - 2 months before having sex.

 

 

I can't see how this could not be compatible with someone who actually liked me and wanted a relationship with me?

 

It seems the only guys who wouldn't hang around would be guys who wouldn't have hung around for 2 months with the sex either. (as in they would probably only be after a 1 night stand or an unexclusive **** buddy type arrangement).

 

Considering the question asked - would you wait 2 months.. i can only assume that the OP is referring to 2 people in a relationship (otherwise obviously the answer must be a no.. who would wait 2 months to have sex with a sex buddy).

 

So I'm confused, please let me know how your attitude differs to mine about sex in a way that would affect us past you being horny for 2 months?

 

(for the record I have never had a problem with guys not wanting to wait, so I am curious).

[Andy_K]

So I'm confused, please let me know how your attitude differs to mine about sex in a way that would affect us past you being horny for 2 months?

 

I see sex as a very important part of a relationship, and I wouldn't want to wait two months before finding out if we're compatible for the same reasons I wouldn't want to wait two months before finding out your age, or whether you have kids, if you're deeply religious, or any of those things. They could all make or break a relationship.

 

If I date someone who doesn't want to rip my clothes off in the first few weeks of dating, there is a very good chance she either doesn't fancy me enough, doesn't have a high enough sex drive, or has some sort of trust issues... or at least a very different attitude to trust. We just wouldn't be on the same wavelength.

 

In your case I guess we'd be looking at very different trust levels. I tend to trust & respect someone I'm dating pretty quickly. I believe trust is something you give rather than something you have to earn... because if you're making someone work for your trust, that's not very trusting! But it could be any of the above reasons, and waiting two months to find out just seems like needless time wasting to me.

 

Maybe on the trust point I have the advantage of not having to date guys?

Edited June 29, 2011 by Andy_K

[Jono85]

Men who want sex to soon are disgusting. And I am a man, men who say stuff like if she doesnt want sex within a few weeks or whatever theyll move on gives the rest of us a bad name.

 

I could wait a few months and then some, I'd even look to "one up" the woman. She wants to wait a few months? Fine I'll wait til marriage... And I'm not even christian

 

The less focus you put on sex the more she will like you.

 

how ironic. can u not even see what u did here? lmao.

 

 

to answer the question, of course i would if i really like the girl. a guy would be stupid not to and just move on the next one. obv he wasn't really into you, he was into ****ing you.

[oaks]

Yes or no?

 

"Maybe, it depends" sorry, but too many uncontrolled variables. If I leave before we get to having sex, maybe it's something else I learned about compatibility or maybe I got bored of waiting or being teased with an empty promise. Do I know that we're "waiting" or am I just finding that I'm not getting any? Do I know what we're waiting for (a date on the calendar or a special event like a romantic trip to Paris etc)? Did we agree that we are waiting or was it a non-negotiable condition that was imposed? What's the rationale behind waiting?

 

Also, do you mean a few months from starting to date, or a few months from agreeing to exclusivity? When did the clock start?

 

Are you cute enough to wait for?

[Saxis]

I see sex as a very important part of a relationship, and I wouldn't want to wait two months before finding out if we're compatible for the same reasons I wouldn't want to wait two months before finding out your age, or whether you have kids, if you're deeply religious, or any of those things. They could all make or break a relationship.

 

If I date someone who doesn't want to rip my clothes off in the first few weeks of dating, there is a very good chance she either doesn't fancy me enough, doesn't have a high enough sex drive, or has some sort of trust issues... or at least a very different attitude to trust. We just wouldn't be on the same wavelength.

 

In your case I guess we'd be looking at very different trust levels. I tend to trust & respect someone I'm dating pretty quickly. I believe trust is something you give rather than something you have to earn... because if you're making someone work for your trust, that's not very trusting! But it could be any of the above reasons, and waiting two months to find out just seems like needless time wasting to me.

 

Maybe on the trust point I have the advantage of not having to date guys?

 

I haven't had a compatibility issue in that department yet. I've always had a very good idea if we were compatible before we actually did the deed. Just because a person refuses to have intercourse right away, doesn't mean they don't want to or enjoy it. There's always been the heavy petting and foreplay, and I'd find it very odd for that to be really hot and then the sex a dud.

 

I also tend to trust someone very early on. We all know that doesn't mean jack though. I trusted my XW for 5 years before I found out I shouldn't have.

 

If I was getting laid right away and often, I might overlook some red flags and end up a bad situation. I guess I like the extra time for both of us to see where it's going first.

[Sanman]

The answer is that it depends on the woman and circumstances surrounding the relationship. I am waiting several months with the woman I am seeing right now. It is an LDR and she wants to get to know each other. That is fine with me as there are many other signs she is interested in me (we talk/text almost everyday, bought unsolicited gifts for each other, she has offered to bake for me, she wants to spend the day with me on her birthday, etc). I have also dated women who were multi-daters, not that serious,etc. I don't wait for those women as they are likely stringing me along. Hell, I had an ex-gf who was stringing another guy along without sex while we decided to be exclusive or not (we were sexually exclusive). All depends on the girl, the vibe, and the situation.

[somedude81]

Seeing as how I haven't had sex in nearly two years, I'm going to say yes. What is two more months?

 

Right now there is a girl I'm absolutely crazy about. If we started dating, I wouldn't have an issue if she wanted to wait a few months for sex. We've been friends for a little over a year so I know her background.

 

The problem is that things once kissing starts to happen I may need to reevaluate if I'm able to wait an extended period of time. Once a girl starts getting me horny, waiting for sex starts to get very difficult.

[Jono85]

ehmm by not pushing the woman to have sex im not putting any focus on it either.

 

yeah but on the one hand ur vilifying guys who expect sex early on (i'm not one btw) and saying how disgusting they are, but in the next breath ur suggesting waiting for sex 'so the girl likes you more' lol. that's not exactly the most moral thing either sir. u wait for sex b/c YOU like the girl a lot, not a ploy to get her to like u more. that seems as shady as the guys ur disgusted in...just sayin.

[rafallus]

Some people don't believe it's artificial. There's risk associated with sex, and I'd rather build a little trust with someone before jumping into bed with them.

 

If you are making all the right moves and both feel really horny, are you gonna put brakes and say "no, I want to get to know you better"?

 

Never happened to me.

[alexlakeman]

It all depends what age range you are talking about....

 

If it's teenagers, then wait years, lol...

 

If it's adults, for me, personally, If I don't get laid by the fourth date, I am out, unless the first 2-3 dates where under different circumstances, hard to explain.. But as ADULTS, we are not playing games, if you are attracted to me, and there's chemistry, we'll be kissing by the 1st or 2nd date... and sex 3rd or 4th... But, sometimes you don't have to try so hard and you just get it on the 1st date, depends on the signals the woman is putting out.. If she's liquored up a little bit, it brings her guard down a little bit a curves the waiting time to my favor

[musemaj11]

Depends on her background.

 

If she is waiting because she comes from a conservative background, then its okay.

 

But if she is waiting without any cultural reason then I would feel that she doesnt desire me.

[Saxis]

If you are making all the right moves and both feel really horny, are you gonna put brakes and say "no, I want to get to know you better"?

 

Never happened to me.

 

I've only put on the brakes once, but not to say that! Discuss birth control, yes. It wasn't something I was expecting to get hot and heavy and didn't have a condom. She seemed a little disappointed, but it was all sorted out by the next day.

[Queen Zenobia]

"Few months", as in "more than two". I don't think I could wait that long if I was serious about the person. And I'm a woman, and from a fairly conservative (Arab) background.

[somedude81]

I think the key questions is, why does she want to wait a few months?

[Eddie Edirol]

I see sex as a very important part of a relationship, and I wouldn't want to wait two months before finding out if we're compatible for the same reasons I wouldn't want to wait two months before finding out your age, or whether you have kids, if you're deeply religious, or any of those things. They could all make or break a relationship.

 

If I date someone who doesn't want to rip my clothes off in the first few weeks of dating, there is a very good chance she either doesn't fancy me enough, doesn't have a high enough sex drive, or has some sort of trust issues... or at least a very different attitude to trust. We just wouldn't be on the same wavelength.

 

In your case I guess we'd be looking at very different trust levels. I tend to trust & respect someone I'm dating pretty quickly. I believe trust is something you give rather than something you have to earn... because if you're making someone work for your trust, that's not very trusting! But it could be any of the above reasons, and waiting two months to find out just seems like needless time wasting to me.

 

Maybe on the trust point I have the advantage of not having to date guys?

 

 

EXACTLY!!!

 

Ive never had to wait a MONTH for sex, let alone have to wait a few months. But I dont deal with virgins either.

But I dont push women for sex, I just tease them alot, and I wind up getting jumped. When I frame it like I dont need it, which strangely I dont, it makes them more curious.

 

But sex is part of the personality, and I cant get attached to a woman until I know if were sexually compatible. I gotta find out how much compromise has to be done sexually. if shes not willing to compromise for me like I am for her, its a dealbreaker. Just the same of smoking, clingyness, drama queen-ness, friendliness, and other bad behavior traits in general.

 

I sure as hell wouldnt wait months to find out about other personality traits. If im into her, and shes too guarded to realize that she can trust me, buh-bye! Too many fish in the sea that dont need inner work.

[Jono85]

Women like respectful gentlemen who dont bug them for sex all the time.

 

Dont you want the woman to like you? I dont get your point at all, you seem to make any issue were there isnt one.

 

Ploy? What are you talking about. Its called RESPECTING the woman.

 

Next time dont look so deep into everything. I wait for sex because I want to be a respectful gentleman and show to her that I really like her and not just want to have sex with her. And you say its a shady ploy?

 

yes and thats exactly why one would do it.

 

just seemed u come off all condescending towards guys who don't want to wait, like you're classier than them, and then said u wait so 'she likes you more'. didn't sound right. like u wouldn't say i'm gonna give a girl flowers so she likes me more. you don't say she's beautiful b/c she'll like u more. get it?

[Duckduckgoose]

If they are worth it they are worth waiting however long it takes them to be comfortable. Rule out any control games. Some people will try to control you or lead you around with the promise of sex as reward.

[Knittress]

I'm a woman and not very promiscuous - and ~I~ would not want to wait that long. If there's attraction, mutual affection, and everyone is being honest about what they want - what are you waiting for? Proof that you won't get hurt later? Not gonna happen.