Why does no one else think strip clubs are just plain WRONG???

[Pyrannaste]

Originally posted by UCFKevin

Nah, only Day of the Tentacle. Which is still, to this day, one of my favorite video games ever.

 

It's one of my favourites too, along with Monkey Island and Leisure Suit Larry.

Try to find a copy of Maniac Mansion, the graphic is not that good but the game is really worth it! And the tentacles are hilarious. (when Bernard first sees G.T. he yells and runs away!)

[stephysthebest]

I have heard about strip clubs on here for a while now.

 

IT IS PREFERENCE. SOME GIRLS THINK IT IS OK OTHERS DON'T. FIND A MATE TO YOUR PREFERENCE.

[branan]

I really understand where you're coming from, and the fact that this debate has attracted so many responses shows that there is no easy answer! It seems that men and women, for the most part, see strip clubs totally differently! As a young woman, the idea of my boyfriend going to a strip club isn't my favorite thought, but I think that I'm lucky in that my boyfriend always takes my feelings into consideration.

 

He has to go to a strip club for a bachelor party next week, and even though he's a veteran of the clubs (from before we were together), he's dreading going because he doesn't want it to hurt my feelings. I've assured him I trust him, but he's gone out of his way to remind me constantly that he would rather see me naked than any of the strippers, and he's only going because he has to.

 

And you know what? I totally believe him. Since we've been together he's done nothing but build my self esteem (and my trust) to the level where I actually believe that he's being totally honest when he says that he doesn't even want to fantasize about the silly girls at the club--that he just thinks about me.

 

One of the things that especially intrigues me about this post, as a medical student interested in psychiatry, is that the men seem much more preoccupied with what actually HAPPENS at a strip club (which, for the most part, isn't a lot.) I don't want to speak for other women, but I know that I myself have the hardest time worrying about what my boyfriend might WANT to happen. Weird but true. Us women (or at least myself) like to believe that we are the only princesses of our man's dreams. We don't want to share him, even in his thoughts. My boyfriend somehow understands this and constantly makes me feel like the most special girl who ever lived. On this note--no matter what might be going on with strip clubs, your boyfriend/husband should always listen to you and try to make you feel special!!!

 

Honestly, you are not going to find peace with this issue by asking other people for their opinions. This is a conversation you should have with him. He--and he alone--can assuage you fears and doubts. Ask him why he likes to go. Ask if you can go along. You'll probably feel better once you see that the crux of the "boy's night out" is exactly that--a time for the boys to bond, not for them to have secret, adulterous fantasies. And go to a male strip club with your girl friends. Don't just say you're going to--do it!! Because I think once you do you'll realize that it's kind of a fun thing to do because it's different and risquee, but you're not having philanderous thoughts!

 

I wish you luck, and only hope that you'll present your fears to your man. And if he's ignoring your worries... then you have something to worry about. Not because he's cheating, but because any man who's worth his salt will care enough about their sweet girlfriend to talk to her about her concerns. Good luck!

[4getful]

Coz its the way of the world today.A man can cheat on you and he will think its no big deal, if you dont catch him.

So majority of men would think there is nothing wrong going to a strip club and getting some action. People in this age place little value in a relationship,even if it is a serious one. Men think that sex is like food that is easy to get(well, it might be, if a girl is willing to give herself). BUt I guess they think theres nothing wrong with it, as long as they are on the receiving end. People who think that strip clubs is not a good thing are very rare.Its what this generation is all about, sex, parties and having a good time.

[Fritz]

Originally posted by 4getful

Coz its the way of the world today.A man can cheat on you and he will think its no big deal, if you dont catch him.

So majority of men would think there is nothing wrong going to a strip club and getting some action. People in this age place little value in a relationship,even if it is a serious one. Men think that sex is like food that is easy to get(well, it might be, if a girl is willing to give herself). BUt I guess they think theres nothing wrong with it, as long as they are on the receiving end. People who think that strip clubs is not a good thing are very rare.Its what this generation is all about, sex, parties and having a good time.

 

Sadly, its not just men who think like this about cheating etc..

[4getful]

yes, it is sad. Men are bastards, women are bitches(sorry for the language) but if people continue to act like this, then what's the point of believing in the ideas of honesty and trust?And what about some human decency, is sex really no deal at all today?

[Unlucky In Love]

In America, we have something known as a Federal Constitution that gives us Civil Liberties. One freedom we have is the right to free speech. Nudity is a form of speech through expression. I understand why people get upset about strip clubs, but they are a form of speech.

 

What's the difference between seeing a naked body in your home or in a club. The human form is beautiful. I have been to strip clubs for women and it's alot of fun to see men dance in their g-strings. Obviously, I wouldn't take my children.

 

I have single male friends that go to strip clubs and hook up with the stripers afterwards. Whether I agree with this or not, that's their private business. They have the freedom to hook up with whomever they choose. I would fight to my death to defend this right.

[mrs.sarah]

"Men are Bastards women are bitches"? Damn, some people are so negative.

 

I see nothing wrong with strip clubs. It's a social thing. I will gladly go with my husband. Heck I'm up there putting the dollars in the panties.

 

Geez! Some people have jealousy issues.

[Pyrannaste]

mrs sarah,

that's great.

But what if your husband informed you he did NOT want you to go with him?

Just curious.

[branan]

Seriously though... have you even considered going to a male strip club? I know the original post said ewwww... gross, or something along those lines about male strip clubs, but really, why not try it?

 

At the very least your hubby will get the chance to identify with your feelings! And you know what? He'll probably think it's cute as can be and encourage it!! I really think your guy loves the bejesus out of you, and wishes you could identify with him--he'd probably love the idea of you breaking out of your mold to try something new for his benefit!

 

I will never understand it either, as a chick, but guys find this crap to be normal. And honestly, I really do believe my bf when he tells me he's not fantasizing about the chicks!

 

He just wants to be able to go hang with the boys and not look like the whipped guy who's not allowed out! And he actually has told me a million times he couldn't care less if I ever go to a bachelorette party with male strippers!

 

In fact, he can't wait til I have to go see male strippers, so he can show me HOW COOL he will be with it. In a guy's mind, it's a silly service that provides zero satisfaction, and is just around for some weird entertainment value.

 

I know I definitely want to be subjected to a male lap dance before I die (even tho I'll be totally grossed out) or otherwise I might be a little harsher with my bf about doing it. But the fact that my wanting the lap dance is out of sheer curiosity makes me realize that this is some silly EVENT--it's really not even that sexual.

 

It seems like your fatal flaw is believing your dude is coming home to you thinking of someone else.... which YES... would be TOTALLY screwed up. But I don't think it's really like that. Ask a close guy friend if he comes home to his gf thinkin about the strippers.

 

Honestly, they most likely are looking at the strippers thinking about you!!! When my bf called me from the strip club tonight (bachelor party for a friend) he immediately told me, i love you so much and i'm so glad you're a sweet smart girl instead of some coked up slut like these weird chicks. Just know he loves you.

[mrs.sarah]

Originally posted by Pyrannaste

mrs sarah,

that's great.

But what if your husband informed you he did NOT want you to go with him?

Just curious.

 

 

 

Then I would stay home. I don't have issues with my man. We're very close. When he goes to a strip club he usually invites me along. There has been a few times when it was a boys only night out and I didn't go. No big deal. He trusts me and I trust him. If it was any other way I wouldn't have married him.

[xdancer]

Women who have a man that has ever gone to a strip club will go again and again. When you are to busy to know or when you do not care were he is because your life is full. Your man will all ways tell you that he dose not go to those places or that was the first or only time. Men lie about any thing that might cause the wife or spouse to think bad of them and will never change the story they have told you. Every one you know will lie too just to keep the peace. No one likes to see some one hurt. Strip Clubs are addicting for men in many ways. The girl dancers work very hard to build up regular customers with possible sex has the game. These dancers meet for many reasons and do drugs with customers after work. No limits on what these desperate dancers will do. The younger the dancer the easier the customer can talk them into what ever. Lady's, Women and wife's do not be deceived as I have been and I Xdancer know what is going on.

[InmannRoshi]

Originally posted by xdancer

Women who have a man that has ever gone to a strip club will go again and again. When you are to busy to know or when you do not care were he is because your life is full. Your man will all ways tell you that he dose not go to those places or that was the first or only time. Men lie about any thing that might cause the wife or spouse to think bad of them and will never change the story they have told you. Every one you know will lie too just to keep the peace. No one likes to see some one hurt. Strip Clubs are addicting for men in many ways. The girl dancers work very hard to build up regular customers with possible sex has the game. These dancers meet for many reasons and do drugs with customers after work. No limits on what these desperate dancers will do. The younger the dancer the easier the customer can talk them into what ever. Lady's, Women and wife's do not be deceived as I have been and I Xdancer know what is going on.

 

Wow, so EVERY SINGLE ONE of the men who visited your club came back time and time again, did coke with the dancers and had sex with them.

 

Are you sure you weren't working at a brothel?

[eden]

this is a mans world, and women are a mans world, they are little helpless children, and being around a bunch of whores in a strip club makes them feel like men, they need women to feel like men,it is disgusting and they are just tricks paying for a freaking dance how lame is that, thats not being a man,women are mens weakness remember adam and eve, adam was a fool to listen to her but he did and damned us all, so what does that tell you about men they are fools for women and thats why clubs make so much money

[Fritz]

Originally posted by xdancer

Women who have a man that has ever gone to a strip club will go again and again. When you are to busy to know or when you do not care were he is because your life is full. Your man will all ways tell you that he dose not go to those places or that was the first or only time. Men lie about any thing that might cause the wife or spouse to think bad of them and will never change the story they have told you. Every one you know will lie too just to keep the peace. No one likes to see some one hurt. Strip Clubs are addicting for men in many ways. The girl dancers work very hard to build up regular customers with possible sex has the game. These dancers meet for many reasons and do drugs with customers after work. No limits on what these desperate dancers will do. The younger the dancer the easier the customer can talk them into what ever. Lady's, Women and wife's do not be deceived as I have been and I Xdancer know what is going on.

 

Why thank you for stereotyping all men, as an xdancer I guess you've met all 3 billion of us?

[shortbus74]

As for strip clubs... the women there are not all bad..... they are making a living....(fast dollars for situations to take care of their kids........)

[Fayebelle]

Have you ever been to a strip club? I have! Great times and once you go you realize that asside from a few lecherous old men who go all by their lonesome- it's just a bonding thing for the friends who are there. I have a ton of guy friends who have always considered me one of the guys so I've been quite a few times INCLUDING 2 bachelor parties. Once you see it's more about the guys goofing on each other and less about coping a feel on some chick they don't know- the whole thing takes on a new light. I also love going w/ my BF which is a whole nother experiance. Then there is sexual tension but only b/c the 2 of you bring it to the sidelines.

[shedrivesz]

Its refreshing to hear someone have the same views I do in regards to Strip Clubs. I have learned from past relationships to express your feelings about Strip Clubs, to your partner, in the beginning of your relationship. I told a former ex my feelings on those places and he swore he would never go to one nor had a desire. Well, the big day came and I was terrified of the Bachelor Party. What made it worse was they were suppose to go to a football game but ended up at a Strip Club in the evening. I completely lost my trust in him and still suffer and emotional pain just from that one experience which was 15 years ago. We were divorced after a few years.

I ask myself why am I so terrified of those places? I am somewhat secure but have some insecurities issues, I am very attractive and look as good as half the girls up there. You would think that would put my mind at ease, but it doesnt. Why go to a S.C. when you have me here? Its a guy thing and I dont like it and I never will!

If your guy really respected your feelings, he would elect not to go or even have an interest to go. You can learn alot about your partner in the beginning if he chooses to go. The level of respect just went down the toilet!

 

I still cant understand why a guy would want to degrade his girl and submit himself to that kind of environment? Its sleazy, trashy, risky, torture on his girl if he does go and just plain wrong! Their are a million forms of entertainment for your guy to choose, so I disagree with the previous comment. I hope you dont end up suffering like I did and still do. Its even worse if you suffer insecurities like myself. Its a life long scare just to the words, "Bachelor Party and Strip Club." Id rather have a knife through me as it would hurt less.

Best of Luck to You

[Sugarmama0706]

Thank you sooo much for giving this post!! YOu are an amazing person with self dignity and morals! I have always wondered this also and I think that anyone woman/man who goes to a strip club or has private dancers come to their home should be considered cheating or adultry. Wether a married person is physically touching the woman/man they are still visualizing this person then and after. I believe strip clubs should be outlawed and all of the people who get mad about it should learn to love the person they have or move on. No wonder there are so many divorces and cheatings going on in our country and around the world...maybe because its the fact that at the click of a button or the amount of cash you have you can see naked men/women right before your eyes...without any commitments!! I believe having a person's privates shoved in your face is cheated and if some one dating or married to me ever went to a strip club even for a bachelor party i would have to let them go....sorry but once commited to ONE person then thats it!! America is making it to easy to live like sick, unmoraled, and lazy people. Why make a relationship with a wife work if you can go to the bar/strip club after work each day and be around naked women 24/7?!? Well, maybe the best answer is IT'S NOT RIGHT and doesn't explain why men and women were put here on earth!! It couldn't have been just for sexual pleasure!

[canadaguy122]

I came across this post through google searching for something entirely different. I found it a very interesting to read everyone's opinions on the matter especially as me and my GF recently had a bit of an emotional debate about the same thing.

 

I'm a 27 M, been with the GF for almost five years now. She's younger than me, I think she's a hottie, and we get along well both sexually and mentally.

 

---

 

She has a real problem with stripclubs, sounding very much like what dream4ever had said.

 

Maybe I'm an abnormal guy. To speak the truth, I dont like to even watch TV because I feel that the women on TV are artificially attractive and I believe it is a crock. The average woman on TV doesn't look like the average woman at all. Maybe thats why so many girls have eating disorders.. Who knows.

 

Anyways, on topic, after work some of my work buddies liked to frequent the strip bar (no girls with us). I didn't tell her anything about it because I figured she would get upset. Honestly, I don't really like strip bars because the women are just hard-selling guys to take their money. I find that the biggest turn off, some broad acting like she likes to talk with me at the table, then hitting me up for a $40 private dance. (What goes through my head is, hmm. She seemed like an abnormally mentally deep stripper, but she's just working. Bubye, bitch).

 

The last thing I wanted to do was tell my girlfriend and get in a fight about something I really care so little about. Perhaps some of the other guys out there who don't tell their girlfriend about where they have gone feel the same way. Many women obviously have much stronger feelings about the morals and ethics of strip clubs than men. We were having a conversation about being honest with each other and to be forthright in the conversation, I offered up the truth; that I had gone to strip clubs sometimes with the work buddies.

 

Obviously, she was very upset; she seemed mortified. I tried to find out what the big problem was. Her opinion was very much like dream4evers, in fact so similar that I am not even sure if maybe it was her online, I really doubt it, but its possible.

 

I tried my best to reassure her that for me, anyways, strip clubs are like this:

 

- The best thing about the place is that there are only really guys there other than the dancers. This is a real bonus to conversation, because you don't always have your single buddies ditching you to try to pick up chicks.

 

- Something I thought she would understand, but turned out to be more of a foot in my mouth: I've never been honestly hit on at a strip club (other than dancers looking for dollars). In pubs and bars it happens all the time. (Yikes! for some reason she didn't see this logic. Oops, I'm a guy, I guess :-( )

 

- I don't really give a damn about the strippers. Some of them are attractive, sure, but in the nature of the setting, I see the dancer herself as more of a novelty of the club than as some hottie I'd love to jump on or try to pick up. The fact that she's naked in front of all those guys immediately discounts any sexual interest I may have had to zero. (Girls ... Yes, guys like mystery too. Ever notice your man do a super double take he couldn't hide when you're walking down the street? I've never seen guys do that at strip clubs unless they're the classic old perverted man stereotype. The attractive girl with clothes on is way hotter than the attractive naked stripper.)

 

- I don't really like to go because I know that it bothers her. But on the flipside, I also don't want to go on an outing with all of my friends, and then ditch them because they want to go to the strip club. While I love my girlfriend far more than my buddies, pulling a big trip on my friends then ditching them because they want to go to the strip club I feel would be similar to pulling a big trip on my girlfriend because she decides to see a Tom Cruise movie when we get to the theatre. (BTW- Strip clubs as a destination usually are a last minute decision.)

 

- Theres no way in hell I ever think of the stripper when my GF and I are having sex. First of all I find my girlfriend makes me way more horny because she's my girlfriend, also because of all of the great sex we've had in the past.

 

- I tried to reassure her that strip clubs arent a regular thing for me, and usually my arrival there is a matter of circumstance and always a group impulse. Me and my friends never make a "night plan" to frequent strip clubs. I ususally try to resist it, but group dynamics tend to be the vehicle that makes it happen.

 

-------

 

By and large, I think it calmed her down.

 

My girlfriend has a hard time with the blurry line of going to strip clubs and cheating too, for me as a guy its a slam dunk, (No, I'm not cheating because I'm not getting any phone numbers, kissing or making out with anybody, getting privately intimate, or having sex with anyone).

 

For her as a woman, its harder, and as a guy the only way I can understand it is like this:

 

She is a firmly monogamous woman. The type that loves one man and one man only, and I'm lucky enough for this man to be me. A woman of this type would probably feel guilty if she had a sexual fantasy about any other man. Relationships are like a mirror, so she would expect the same from me.

 

Her difficulty with strip clubs lies in that it is hard for her to understand why I would go to such a place with naked women and not fantasize about them sexually or intimately. Just the dancer alone is hard enough for her to take. A lap dance is a conscious decision to pay some chick to turn you on upclose and personal, which would make it harder for her to beleive that the fantasy isnt there.

 

--

 

I tried to get her to come along to the strip club with me to help her alleviate her fears, to see that inside this place its actually quite mellow, that a bunch of guys are talking and occasionally glancing at the dancer. She refuses because she feels its very degrading to women.

 

It kind of comes down to the point where I feel it's just easier to avoid going, because trying to alleviate her fears would take far more work than I really care about, again, it's not like I even really like going in the first place so for me it's not worth the hassle.

 

So we came to an agreement, and it seems to have held:

 

If I end up at the strip club, I just tell her exactly where I went when I get home. Then I deal with her being upset by being sypathetic and understanding and not acting all horny. (which would disgust her). But overall, I just avoid going because it hurts her feelings.

[shedrivesz]

Well, after reading the awesome reply by CanadaGuy, he really shed some light on this subject. Though I am still not fond of the idea of my guy going to one, he did make a very good point that hit home.

 

[color=blue]"The best thing about the place is that there are only really guys there other than the dancers. This is a real bonus to conversation, because you don't always have your single buddies ditching you to try to pick up chicks"[/color] I guess I never really thought about this and it does put ones mind at a little ease. I have been to a few strip clubs in the past just to see what in the hell goes on in there. It is pretty much like what CanadaGuy said, but in my own opinion I still found it degrading. The worse part about it was I was getting hit on the by the men in there. I can honestly say their were only a handful of girls in there that werent dancers and most of them were with their boyfriends. Some Strip Clubs wont even allow females to enter as it takes the attention away from the working girls. Now I see why!

 

I wish all guys were like CanadaGuy. He truely respects the feelings of his girlfriend. She is one lucky girl:)

Thank you for your input CanadaGuy. I think now if a situation ever occured where my guy went to one, I would be able to better understand it,,,though I still dont like it:(

[PUHLEEEEZE...]

Not a good idea. My husband and I have taken quite a bit of flak from friends who were "offended" that we did not care to witness their "last hurrah". In fact, we don't go to bachelor/bachelorette parties at all - no matter where they are held. Have you seen what goes on when the party goes on at a "regular" bar!! Not much difference!

[Jonny Madness]

Well, I couldn't possibly read every post here, but I have to chime in.

 

I would be jealous and hurt if a girlfriend went to a strip club. Because I know that it can be hurtful, I do not go when I have a girlfriend. Honestly, I don't feel the desire to go when I have somebody who will do everything for me that a stripper does and ohhhhh, so much more!

 

When I'm single, however, I love to go once in a while. There was a time when me and one buddy were going at least once a week and we eventually got to know the dancers and staff very well, so we had a very "behind the scenes" look at it. The dancers told us flat out, it's all about money - who they talk to in between dances, who they make eye contact with while dancing - it's whoever is shelling out the most cash. We were the exception, one time a stripper bought US a round of tequila!, It was great! Some dancers will blow you in the parking lot for cash, some are prostitutes, university students, and others have children that need feeding and they have no other skills.

 

I'm a hot blooded male, and I LOVE to see women naked. That's it, there's no more to it than that. I prefer someone I am in love with, but love is REALLY hard to find, in case you haven't noticed. So, it's fun to go and have a fantasy up close and personal.

 

Jonny Madness

[cake]

that was my initial reaction to strip clubs... But, if you are with someone you trust, you should probably feel safe that he is not going to do anything inappropriate (i.e., lap dance etc,).. However, if you do not trust him, then that is another story.... Strip clubs do have a tendency to make women feel inadequate about their bodies (which is why most women don't like their men going), but I tell you there is no bigger turn on for a guy than a woman who is confident in her body and has the confidence to acknowledge another womans beauty...

[feeling neglected]

Strip clubs are bad for most relationships.. It's pretty simple.. if your woman is ok with it, go ahead. If you're not ok with it, then have enough respect for her NOT to go.

 

I don't see what the problem is.. too many men on here are like "oh, all guys do it, blah blah blah".. but read elsewhere, look elsewhere.. and you'll see plenty of men stating they would respect their family/wife enough to not even think about. I know, as 99% percent of my friends, current and past, have all been men, and all of them don't use that excuse that "all men do it" or any of the others i've read in this post, and others on this site.

 

My point of view.. of course.. but would I dare go check out men and have them grind on me if I had an ounce of respect for my man? Of course NOT. but, if I had half the population making up excuses as to why it was acceptable, because all us "girls do it".. it'd probably be easier to get away with it.

 

In life, we have all have different views, and ways of living. If you know there is something you don't want to deal with in a relationship..make sure you find this stuff out right away. Date a godly man, or one who doesn't "pass the buck" for the male population and thinks it's ok to participate in this rude and lude behavior. Then, you wont have these problems. Let the women with less self respect get the men who can't emotionally be loyal, and you go seek the ones who can. Problem solved.