Women who say "I have so much more in common with men"

[DreamerGirl27]

For me, men are so easy to talk to, have things in common with and understand but I guess I paid a lot of attention when I went to work with my dad. I love guys who are ba**busters and I think they come off to women as being mean, cruel and even emotionless. A garage full of tough guys is a ba**busting fest all day but when it comes down to it, if anything serious ever happened, those same guys are up on their feet and will give you the shirt off their back. Those tough guys are reliable and you find that out after you survive the ba**busting.

 

I grew accustomed to how they don't rush to the aid of anyone who has a little boo-boo or a bad, trying day. They're there when they are really needed. I learned at an early age to trust them for that.

 

Guys are full of feelings and emotion but don't let it all...hang out. For good reason. If they showed their emotions all the time and wore their hearts on their sleeves, women would not like them. They'd be acting like many women do. I don't know about the other ladies of LS but

I certainly don't want my man being all emotional and caring about my every little feeling and whim.

 

really?? Because I would like to a call a man like this my future husband.

[NoMagicBullet]

... guys take time to trust people. They have to see you in action for a bit first and then they will approach you. They are very observant creatures and if you're a genuine person who they can relate to, they will figure that out for themselves but they take their time. If you're looking for instant friendships, you won't find any.

 

Maybe I'm like a guy in this respect, but I related to this -- real friendship takes time and building trust. I see a trend among women that I don't see with men: somehow they instantly bond -- or expect to bond -- and become friends for little reason other than they are women. This seems so shallow and artificial to me. And I tend to see this more with women who are more girly and are into playing the traditional gender roles assigned to women: love makeup, hair, fashion, celebrities, gossip, etc. And I'm not into those things. It becomes pretty apparent pretty quickly that we just don't have anything meaningful to build a friendship on. I've also noticed that women tend to leave behind friends they don't share a similar life situation with (single, married, divorced, kids) and replace their social circle with people in same place in life as they are; of course, that's not all women, and maybe men do this, too.

 

I have female friends, but they are more likely to read National Geographic or Time than Cosmopolitan or People. I can talk with them about girly things like clothes or relationships with men, as well as current events, common interests or hobbies, you name it. I have male friends, too, but I don't discuss the girly things with them, just common interests, mostly. And I have friends and acquaintences over a variety of ages.

 

So just the fact that we both have to sit down to pee is not enough to make a woman my friend. Although I will be kind enough to tell her the back of her skirt is stuck in her pantyhose before she leaves the restroom.

[mikkyedward82]

what i say because a lot of good comments here.

[Star Gazer]

Never trust a woman that states she doesn't get along with other females and relates better to men.

 

Hallelujah!

[linwood]

It is very simple. Men want sex. Men don't want games. You want games. You don't want sex.

 

This...exactly this.

 

My wife doesn`t trust women in general be cause they always seem to be playing games.

 

With a male friend she knows why he`s there for sure.

 

Her words..net mine

[Baroness67]

In my experience, many women who say they get along better with men than women are both competitive with other women (in relation to how they want to be perceived by men) and lack self-esteem.

[Els]

Yup. Extremists of any kind are concerning.

 

I'm not entirely sure which the worse demonstration of extremism is here:

 

1) Someone saying she gets along better with men than women (NOT that she only gets along with men and not women); or

2) Someone who says that one should 'never trust' a person who says (1)?

 

Methinks the latter. What is wrong with a woman preferring male friends, if she has few hobbies in common with other women? Again, I don't think anyone should completely close themselves off to an entire gender, hence I would agree with you if someone had said 'I only have male friends'. But I haven't seen anyone here saying this yet. The only extremism seems directed towards women for their preference for male friends. If the issue here is preferring to make friends with a particular gender, why has nothing been directed towards the OP for saying she prefers female friends?

 

I make friends with men far easier, but only the geeky variety of men, probably due to similar mindsets and hobbies. I still have a few awesome female friends, just more male ones. I've never competed with another woman for appearances or men before, and I'm probably the least 'catty' person you'd ever find, to be honest. In fact, when other women try to be catty with me, I just shrug and give them their way. I don't play such games.

 

I am also not sure how on earth you can make friends with someone on the proviso of sitting to pee, unless you attend pee-parties and flock towards those whom you see doing it the same way as you.

Edited April 23, 2011 by Elswyth

[lemonlegs]

I agree with Elswyth. I myself used to have a strong disdain for girls who would outright say, "I get along better with guys" because it would usually inidicate that she just likes the attention that being the only girl in a group of guys can provide.

 

However, ever since dating my boyfriend, I've noticed that I don't see my girlfriends at much (not JUST because of dating my boyfriend, but I've had falling outs with.... a lot of my friends for some reason) and I noticed that I genuinely have more fun hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends and my male friends that I've known for a loong time. Why? I don't really know. I don't feel awkward around them and like I'm out of the loop. With the group of girls I hangout with on occasion, I'm not a 'regular' and thus, I feel sort of on the outside, whereas that crap doesn't matter with guys, and I like that.

 

But then it bothers me when my boyfriend is so guy-orientated. I know he likes golfing, dirtbiking, and crap that I don't do as a hobbie, but I feel somewhat insulted when I'm not welcome to certain things. I think I'm a pretty relaxed and fun girl to be around. I participate in the conversations, I could probably outdrink any of the guys, and I'm not a 'buzzkill' like I know many of the other guys' girlfriends can be.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I do miss having girlfriends I can call up to hangout with whenever.

[DreamerGirl27]

Okay, here's the really dumb thing.

 

Women who think men want to be just friends and then flip out when one or more of them tell them they like her.

 

It's like, duh. What purpose do opposite sex friendships hold?

 

I don't keep male friends, because I have no need for more friends. If I wanted to chill and not have sex, I'd call up my girlfriends.

 

Hate to be the breaker of bad news to the females on the planet, but men and women aren't "friends".

[Els]

Okay, here's the really dumb thing.

 

Women who think men want to be just friends and then flip out when one or more of them tell them they like her.

 

It's like, duh. What purpose do opposite sex friendships hold?

 

I don't keep male friends, because I have no need for more friends. If I wanted to chill and not have sex, I'd call up my girlfriends.

 

Hate to be the breaker of bad news to the females on the planet, but men and women aren't "friends".

 

Well, speak of extremism. Sorry that all the men who met you only wanted to screw you and nothing else.

[DreamerGirl27]

Well, speak of extremism. Sorry that all the men who met you only wanted to screw you and nothing else.

 

 

More the other way around.

[lemonlegs]

More the other way around.

 

What? So you're saying that every male "friend" that you've ever had, you've wanted to have sex with?

 

Well clearly it's your distorted view of male-female friendships that prevents you from maintaining any male friends.

[DreamerGirl27]

What? So you're saying that every male "friend" that you've ever had, you've wanted to have sex with?

 

Well clearly it's your distorted view of male-female friendships that prevents you from maintaining any male friends.

 

I'm saying that I wouldn't bother being friends with them if I wasn't attracted in some way shape or form.

 

It's leading them on.

[Feelin Frisky]

I don't have an opinion on the other way around but I find that I get along so much better with women than men. And it's not on the level of flirting or anything like that although sometimes. I find a lot of guys very territorial and contentious. Even on the net I can usually tell who is male and female in a response to a post I might have made if it is not already clear. I can't remember a single woman ever taking issue with something I've said without at least some kind of introductory attempt to soften the texture and extend some kind of benefit of the doubt. No woman who I have never spoken with before has ever quoted me and led off their introduction to me with "what, did you get dropped on your head?" for instance. A woman would at least say, pardon me but....

[Els]

I'm saying that I wouldn't bother being friends with them if I wasn't attracted in some way shape or form.

 

It's leading them on.

 

So now we know who the problem lies with then.

[donnamaybe]

I have girl friends, I have guy friends. If I were only friends with people I was attracted to, I wouldn't have any girl friends.

 

My man knows I sometimes go out with guy friends. He is always welcome to come, but sometimes he doesn't want to. He's secure enough that it is SO not an issue with him. He knows he's my sweet lover!

[Els]

I have girl friends, I have guy friends. If I were only friends with people I was attracted to, I wouldn't have any girl friends.

 

My man knows I sometimes go out with guy friends. He is always welcome to come, but sometimes he doesn't want to. He's secure enough that it is SO not an issue with him. He knows he's my sweet lover!

 

You said it, girl.

\

@FF, I seem to have a little problem with that. I've pissed no less than five women off before without even having the slightest clue as to WTF I did. Either they're oversensitive, or I'm undersensitive. Hopefully the former.

[DreamerGirl27]

I have girl friends, I have guy friends. If I were only friends with people I was attracted to, I wouldn't have any girl friends.

 

My man knows I sometimes go out with guy friends. He is always welcome to come, but sometimes he doesn't want to. He's secure enough that it is SO not an issue with him. He knows he's my sweet lover!

 

this is how people wind up cheating. because they have opportunity to. If there is no opportunity and no temptation, it works out a lot better.

[djhall]

What about guys who get along well with women but not other men?

[Tayla]

this is how people wind up cheating. because they have opportunity to. If there is no opportunity and no temptation, it works out a lot better.

 

It took that summation of yours Dreamgirl to realize how befitting your name is- Your perception is quite narrow and someday when you wake up to REALITY where guys and girls are genuine friends and genders really can regard relations, then the world will have one more adult in it. I really hope to see that day arrive sooner then later for you.

[donnamaybe]

this is how people wind up cheating. because they have opportunity to. If there is no opportunity and no temptation, it works out a lot better.

 

There's opportunity to cheat everywhere, but some folks have integrity.

[DreamerGirl27]

There's opportunity to cheat everywhere, but some folks have integrity.

 

Yes, and when you put yourself in harms way and knowingly go hang out with a bunch of guys without your boyfriend, it makes that "integrity" a lot harder to live by. You really think you're gonna be "going out with the guys" when you're 65, retired, with grand children?

 

No. You'll be taking care of your grand children.

 

::waits for the post from donnamaybe "I CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND AND HE DUMPED ME, I'M SO HEARTBROKEN::

[threebyfate]

I'm not entirely sure which the worse demonstration of extremism is here:

 

1) Someone saying she gets along better with men than women (NOT that she only gets along with men and not women); or

2) Someone who says that one should 'never trust' a person who says (1)?

 

Methinks the latter. What is wrong with a woman preferring male friends, if she has few hobbies in common with other women? Again, I don't think anyone should completely close themselves off to an entire gender, hence I would agree with you if someone had said 'I only have male friends'. But I haven't seen anyone here saying this yet. The only extremism seems directed towards women for their preference for male friends. If the issue here is preferring to make friends with a particular gender, why has nothing been directed towards the OP for saying she prefers female friends?

 

I make friends with men far easier, but only the geeky variety of men, probably due to similar mindsets and hobbies. I still have a few awesome female friends, just more male ones. I've never competed with another woman for appearances or men before, and I'm probably the least 'catty' person you'd ever find, to be honest. In fact, when other women try to be catty with me, I just shrug and give them their way. I don't play such games.

 

I am also not sure how on earth you can make friends with someone on the proviso of sitting to pee, unless you attend pee-parties and flock towards those whom you see doing it the same way as you.

If you're not catty or competitive, I'd be curious why you singled out my post amongst a number of other women who've also criticized the "I prefer men as friends" mindset.

 

I don't have any preferences beyond finding different commonalities with both male and female friends. They're all people.

[donnamaybe]

Yes, and when you put yourself in harms way and knowingly go hang out with a bunch of guys without your boyfriend, it makes that "integrity" a lot harder to live by. You really think you're gonna be "going out with the guys" when you're 65, retired, with grand children?

 

No. You'll be taking care of your grand children.

 

::waits for the post from donnamaybe "I CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND AND HE DUMPED ME, I'M SO HEARTBROKEN::

 

Tayla was right on the money. Isn't it time for the homecoming dance? LOL

 

My guy and I are going on 6 years. How about you?

Edited April 27, 2011 by donnamaybe

[lemonlegs]

Being friends with a male is not "leading them on", Dreamgirl. In fact, it's quite presumptuous and narcicisstic to assume that every single guy that's ever showed any interest in being friends with you wants to be with you or even sleep with you. Some people are, ya know, nice, and like to be friendly with everyone, not just people of the same sex.