Author suddendumpee Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 UPDATE: I have totally kept my cool with this. We have not spoken for 3 weeks. I have gotten a couple of "I miss you" texts from her on the weekends. I let her know that the next time we talk will be in person and there will be some serious talks. She is coming in 2 weeks for the weekend to feel things out. Then a month later, I will be visiting her where the decision will be made to try again or go our separate ways. Meanwhile, the old dude is making EVERY mistake in the book. Sent flowers to her work. Constant texts. The "I need to get my things" speech. Telling her she is dead to him one day, they begging for friendship the next. He told her that he will just "happen" to be in her area this weekend and wanted to meet up. She declined and he went off on her with 15 angry texts....then "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Please forgive me." texts. She thinks he is a psycho. haha. Maybe I should give this guy a few pointers Link to post Share on other sites
Karala Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Hi Suddendumpee, I've just read ALL of your posts (took me most of yesterday evening and this morning), what a great story!! Please let us know where you are with this now, I'm dead curious! Hope to hear from you and kudos to you :] Link to post Share on other sites
dreamscape123 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Agreed, a great bit of reading. I also am curious how things have worked out for you, and i hope that it has gone well..... I just hope that the same happens to me , and my ex comes back to reality from her rebound relationship and sees things in a clear way, remembering what a great loving relationship we had....... although I have a hard time believeing that will ever happen for me, but hey, your story gives me hope... Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 There's a saying I always mention when it comes to women (Since I'm a guy). My saying is: "They ALWAYS come back...". Meaning you always hear back from them at some point. . I disagree with you. My high school bf dumped me completely out of the blue. I haven't heard from him since we brokeup, almost 10 years ago. I have no idea what happened to him. Next week is my one year anniversary of the breakup that sent me here. I haven't heard from my ex, since the day we brokeup. I hope I never do either. They don't always come back to you. Suddendumpee I wish you the best. But I would take things slow if I was you. If you make things easy for her, she could do the same thing again. Make sure she's actually change and isn't just all talk. My other ex asked for me back and said the right things. Yet we still aren't together to this day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author suddendumpee Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 (edited) As an update, we are now OFFICIALLY together. She said she is coming back to me with full hopes that "this is it". After some forced time alone, she came for a visit which went extremely well. Then we did not see one another for a month. Last weekend I visited her where I was introduced to many of her friends as her "boyfriend" which was a change from the past. She also presented me with a gift bag of goodies she bought for me on her recent trip overseas. We will be spending the 4th together in NYC. Still waiting on what I consider are real signs of commitment. Introduction to her family, talking about being in the same state. But as planned, I'm trying to move slow. Really hoping this turns out to be a true success story here. Only time will tell, but things are great now! Oh yea. She has contacted the police regarding the staker-ish behavior from the other guy...and her father bought and sent her a stun-gun to protect herself if he were to ever show up. Safe to say....he's OUT. Haha. Edited June 17, 2011 by suddendumpee Link to post Share on other sites
mmiller5373 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 As an update, we are now OFFICIALLY together. She said she is coming back to me with full hopes that "this is it". After some forced time alone, she came for a visit which went extremely well. Then we did not see one another for a month. Last weekend I visited her where I was introduced to many of her friends as her "boyfriend" which was a change from the past. She also presented me with a gift bag of goodies she bought for me on her recent trip overseas. We will be spending the 4th together in NYC. Still waiting on what I consider are real signs of commitment. Introduction to her family, talking about being in the same state. But as planned, I'm trying to move slow. Really hoping this turns out to be a true success story here. Only time will tell, but things are great now! Oh yea. She has contacted the police regarding the staker-ish behavior from the other guy...and her father bought and sent her a stun-gun to protect herself if he were to ever show up. Safe to say....he's OUT. Haha. Dude. Congrats. That's all! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I want to congratulate you as well but at the same time, I think it might be too early, she went from you to another guy and then back to you. You grew and better yourself, did she? If not the same thing is going to happen again! My Ex and I did the breakup and get back together 2-3 times now. You know why it never worked, we never had time to realize what went wrong and time to heal from wounds that we caused each other. I know for a fact that I wont be ready to see my ex for at least 6 months to get everything i want improved of myself accomplished. My ex has gigs right now... massive textbook gigs... if she were to come to me 2-3 months down the road, i have to send her packing, otherwise im just a rebound of her rebound of me. she hasnt healed at all and is using guys as her emotional crutch so she feels little pain Link to post Share on other sites
TheHurtProcess Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I just wanted to say "congratulations!" suddendumpee. I read though all of your posts since November and they all seem very similar to what I am currently going through with my ex. You definitely know how to handle yourself and perhaps I may have to rethink my approach before I make all the classic mistakes. I wish you two the best of luck and I hope everything works out. Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 @OP They always come back... Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 @Jason In some way shape or form. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 The Romantic in me thinks this is wonderful. The Pessimist in me is waiting for a follow-up post of how it all went horribly wrong. Again. The Realist in me knows that second chances rarely, if ever, work. But is always open to be proven wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
TheHurtProcess Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I too wish that my instincts would be proven wrong for a change. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 congrats on turning the tables! hope everything works this time! Link to post Share on other sites
GivenUp0083 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Wow man, seems like you handled it really well. I'd like to think I've handled my situation almost as well, but I did play into some of her NC breaks, but I handled my responses to short and didn't show any serious cards. I never once said sorry or pleaded to get back together. It's been 2 months since break up, and TBH I would not take her back if she did the same as your girl. I couldn't even put her through the single plan or give her time to prove she's serious. I would simply tell her she's no longer a part of my life and that I have nothing I'll ever want to say to her again. This ship has sailed. But I am happy for you, keep handling it well and be cautious. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Chuck Bartowski Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 WOW! What an incredible and sobering story. I am amazed at how you handled yourself and didn't lose your dignity. Today is 2 months since my B/U and 18 days NC. Since my Ex and I were together for 8 years I do know her and I know I will hear from her again. I will read this entire post again before I even attempt to reply to her attempt. She jumped in to R/R 2 weeks after our split and I have taken the time to reflect on where "I" went wrong and have since focused on those aspects of me. I am healing and begining to like the person I am. Thanks for sharing this with us all Suddendumpee. You have inspired a lot of us. I happen to find this thread through Homebrew's posts. Another inspiring individual. Thanks mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author suddendumpee Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 I'm really impressed with how things are falling in to place so effortlessly this time. It's everything I wanted the first time, but never got. Things seem so much different and we are both very happy. 1) She took advantage of a romantic moment and professed her love to me. As many times as I wanted to say it, I restrained as I decided that is was HER that had to say those words first. 2) We are "Facebook official". Seems a ridiculous thing to matter, but in this day and age, it has become a measure of the health of a relationship (unfortunately). It is comforting knowing that you are with someone who isn't afraid to broadcast to the world that "I'm off the market". 3) I was introduced to family and it went really well. 4) She is interviewing with several companies in my state with plans to move here in the next 6 months. I made it very clear that I would not be the one making the move as it's not me that has to prove how serious I am. As good as things are going. I'm still uncertain about the future. Probably because of the way things went down the first time. So this isn't a "We're going to live happily ever after!" post...simply a "Things are going well RIGHT NOW" post. Take care everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
lalalandman Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I don't trust her. And you know damn well she did everything in the book with that other dude, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Chuck Bartowski Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I don't trust her. And you know damn well she did everything in the book with that other dude, right? It's called FORGIVENESS. Link to post Share on other sites
lalalandman Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 maybe, we'll see Link to post Share on other sites
TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 That's good news to hear bro. I'm happy for the two of you and especially you. I hope everything continues to work out. I absolutely love to hear great stories of reconciliation. Perhaps she may very well have been "the one" the entire time and she only needed to get out and experience the world before coming back to spend her life with you. I'm crossing my fingers for you. Definitely keep us updated bud. And remember, we're still here if you ever need us again Link to post Share on other sites
Livin Lrge Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) Hi Mate, Any updates you can provide? I was wondering if I can contact you for some advice on my situation? Livin lrge Edited July 27, 2011 by Livin Lrge Link to post Share on other sites
Author suddendumpee Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 Been a while. Things are better than I could have ever imagined. She turned in her two weeks to her job today and is dropping everything to move in with me in two weeks. Engagement coming in January. Handle yourself. All breakups are NOT final, and some are needed and for the better. Remember, you can't do anything to make them come back, but you can do everything to keep them away. Don't give in. Hold your ground, and ALWAYS assume its over for good. Follow these rules and you may get what you always wanted. Don't believe the naysayers and the statistics on 2nd chances. One size DOES NOT fit all. Hopefully this story will guide at least 1 person to true happiness with or without your ex. Good luck to all. Link to post Share on other sites
Berlington Bob Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Glad to hear it. Read all your posts and I hope a year from now I have healed as much as you have in the past year. Hope all goes well. Link to post Share on other sites
maxy1 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 definitely nice to hear a happy story like this. best of luck to you both! Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 thanks for the update, Suddendumpee - - i was thinking about you the other day and wondering how things worked out with the reconciliation. glad to to hear it's going better than you expected. and congratulations! Link to post Share on other sites
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