Are there seriously no decent men?

[SummersEve]

I am not a guy but I know you're right, OP. Even if they aren't that into you, plenty of them will still try for sex, unless human nature has changed since I was single. If you're going to feel trashed if they don't call again then sure, don't do it. I don't know of another way to tell but just what you're doing, wait a while. Then if they're just out for easy sex they'll probably move on.

 

Personally I don't think they're necessarily not decent though. Probably it's just not everyday you meet someone you really click with. Sometimes someone can just be in a period of life where they're not into coupling up but still want to have sex with people, and guys just seem to be that way much more often. It is a shame on both sides that it's not all done in a more upfront way. Then there wouldn't be all this mess where someone feels teased or someone feels used. Maybe you could just talk to him, tell him you don't like casual sex, that you only like it inside of an established relationship. Why waste time with him if he's going to be another one who doesn't want to couple up.

 

I would read "cuddle" to mean he's getting ready to make his move with the movie thing. Maybe suggest the cinema instead so he won't feel led on. Good luck.

 

Re the "women don't like nice guys" or "guys don't like smart women" thing, it all gets on my nerves because it sounds kind of, I dunno, self-congratulatory or something. It is what the guy/gal who got rejected says but not what the one who did the rejecting says. That person's reason is probably not so complimentary.

Edited March 28, 2011 by SummersEve

[gemstem]

I agree with summerseve here

I would read "cuddle" to mean he's getting ready to make his move with the movie thing. Maybe suggest the cinema instead so he won't feel led on. Good luck.

 

The same thing happened to me on date number 3... They seem to think they are entitled to 'something' at this point, if not before!

 

Good Luck!

[bac]

I just met this guy and we went on 2 dates so far. The third one is tomorrow. He seems pretty cool. Attractive, successful, funny, outgoing...I'm just worried that he too is only after sex. He mentioned a movie date for our third date. He said if we watched one on the couch, it's better for cuddling...is it way too soon to cuddle? What does this mean? Is he looking to get physical? I'm so confused. I would love advice from a guy

 

It is OK to make out on the 3d date. If you want to figure out if a guy after sex, you might want to wait for sex 5-6 dates. The guys who are only after sex will vanish into thin air anytime from date 1-5. The guys, who are looking for a relationship with you, will be fine with waiting for sex.

 

Availability of decent men depends on age group. If you are looking for men in 20s, there are plenty of decent men. If you are looking for men in 40s, there are about zero of decent men because the decent men are all taken(married).

Every girl is looking for a decent man and the decent/or half-decent men are taken by females very soon.

[Mikau]

edited out because this was already discussed to death in here

Edited April 4, 2011 by Mikau

[Ideriuh]

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[Ross PK]

There's a lot of them, but you women don't want us.

[Disillusioned]

There's a lot of them, but you women don't want us.

 

I'm living proof.

 

I WAS decent, once.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Thirded. Women don't want decent men.

[orangelady]

There are decent men.

 

They're the ones being rejected.

 

I have found that decent men are always taken up/married. That's where they are.

[BeginAgain]

Alright, this is getting ridiculous. I have been on date after date for the past year and all of them...NO JOKE...all of them have been after ONE thing. I'm not an idiot, I called out their game quickly. Each men played it really well in the beginning, leaving me almost fooled. I'm starting to get a little nervous now. I'm the type of girl that loves to be in a relationship. But now, after being almost used by so many guys, I'm having strong trust issues.

Heres the kicker:

I just met this guy and we went on 2 dates so far. The third one is tomorrow. He seems pretty cool. Attractive, successful, funny, outgoing...I'm just worried that he too is only after sex. He mentioned a movie date for our third date. He said if we watched one on the couch, it's better for cuddling...is it way too soon to cuddle? What does this mean? Is he looking to get physical? I'm so confused. I would love advice from a guy

All men want sex. That is the primary reason we want women, but if that is all we are interested in we are only going to give you a short period of time to put out and then move on. If you have been regularly meeting a guy for over a week he is still a man and looking for SEX SEX SEX but he is also looking for more. More often than not what you have with him is something that will last awhile which could be a few weeks, a few months, or a few years so stop treating it like a ONS. A man's love is very physical even if he is a LTR veteran. To a man touch and sight are most important in a relationship. That doesn't mean you need to be all dolled up every second or that we need sex all the time. Cuddling, holding, and just being able to see you will be many times sufficient. If you want to get overly touchy feely and emotional with a Dr. Phil type good luck with that. Men express love more in actions than words or emotions. Though he should be selfless and observant enough to have some clue of these needs you have as a woman and fulfill them. Don't expect him to know of these needs all the time just as you won't be strapped to the bed having sex with him at all matter of hour either.

[orangelady]

All men want sex. That is the primary reason we want women,

 

This is the quote of the day. It sums up men pretty well.

[oldguy]

Stopped reading after:

 

 

 

So everyone who feels differently is a dishonest man. Fascinating article. What about the educated, modern, liberal man who'll respect a woman more if she acts according to her beliefs and desires instead of what someone else told her to do? I guess we don't exist .

 

I thought it was a good article for someone who asked for some guidelines. I never said you should have it tattooed anywhere.

[Ross MwcFan]

There's plenty of us, but women don't want to know.

[orangelady]

There's plenty of us, but women don't want to know.

 

I wanna.

[orangelady]

When a guy has the means, the options, and the testosterone, he's going to do what he wants. Options means freedom, and freedom means that men can follow their own nature. As we, men, were wired by evolution to spread our seed, we are going to do such if we can. Accept the time high quality men are interested in giving to you. Don't try and make it to be bigger than what it really is.

 

There's nothing more sad than a woman in her 20's or 30's thinking that her vagina is magical and that the man must fall on his knees and profess undying love. Please, the time for Disney and Hello kitty is over.

 

Part of being equal, is to accept that women are undoubtedly going to want 'commitment' and children. Its part of their nature, and we accept it, but it would be very nice if more and more women also accepted the nature of men, instead of trying to shame us/make it seem like we owe them something, in this case, that we must put a ring/date you/ go shop for curtains with you, on you gals finger.

 

This is the quote of the day. It sums up men pretty well.

 

Aww. That's pretty cute.

 

Can I play too?

 

Women want 'commitment', money, babies, and free male attention.

 

Isn't it glorious how both genders use flowery terms to explain and to justify what they want, and how each gender thinks that the other gender is only interested in using 'us'?

 

Gosh. Chill, Cairo.....CHILL! Why are people always fighting on here? It's like everyone's so bitter...

[orangelady]

Because human beings want what they want, and when they can't have what they want, they shame the other gender. Like the guys in here who claim that all women are shallow, or that women are only interested in the top 20%. Then you have the female equivalent, in the form of 'where can I find a decent man' or, 'Are all men afraid of commitment?'. Each member of each gender wants or desires, but expects the opposite sex to give or to go against its own nature just to make the guy or the gal happy, as if we are entitled to something.

 

I got that Latin temperament going!

 

Well I don't shame the gender for what I want but I do think some of them are really shallow. I think both sexes are but I tend they are shallow in different ways. Although in some cultures, men are often more shallow than women. OK plz don't hit me...omg latin huh...should I stay clear from them?

[milkmaterial]

depends where you are looking..

 

maybe you are consumed by your ideals that you are missing out on the really nice ones.

[627]

all men want sex.

Not all, some of us just like taking the risk of asking a woman out, and then picking her up, listen to her talk for an hour or 2, then pay for the outing, then drive her back home, just for the fun of it.

 

of course we want sex! what else is there? I don't even know why people date if it is not for a sexual relationship, I mean if you want to just talk or have people care for you, that's what friends are for

[oldguy]

depends where you are looking..

 

maybe you are consumed by your ideals that you are missing out on the really nice ones.

 

Yup, and you will usually find what you are looking for & willing to except. If you haven't found any "good men" you are probably looking in the wrong places or even, dare I say it, possibly sending signals that are attracting the wrong type.

[orangelady]

of course we want sex! what else is there?

 

perfect. I want you. You're the man I've been looking for.

[somedude81]

What seems to confuse women. Is that when they hear, "All men want sex." They somehow hear it is, "All men want just sex."

 

The two are not the same thing.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

There are decent single men, just as there are decent single women. However, usually they have poor self esteem, and they don't put themselves in situations where they could meet a dating prospect.

 

I see it in viewpoints on here. Ross's last thread on the PoF dating profile made me think, "are all bitter guys dating repellent?" Surely, if someone walks around with a scowl on their face all day, and doesn't treat others with respect, he won't get respect back.

 

Yeah, women are attracted to confidence, money, and social status. Get over it. If you don't have money or social status, get some. If you don't have confidence, work on your body, and you'll get some. If you're already good looking, and confident, and rich, and everything still isn't working for you...well, try therapy, because there IS something wrong.

[orangelady]

There are decent single men, just as there are decent single women. However, usually they have poor self esteem, and they don't put themselves in situations where they could meet a dating prospect.

 

I see it in viewpoints on here. Ross's last thread on the PoF dating profile made me think, "are all bitter guys dating repellent?" Surely, if someone walks around with a scowl on their face all day, and doesn't treat others with respect, he won't get respect back.

 

Ross says he is friendly with others and has no problems with his social skills. So are you saying he lacks the looks, money and status? That was what I brought up in my other post but men here got angry and some even said they have money but have no woman. What a joke. I really wonder what they meant by they have a job, a place and a car and all that then. What kind?

 

Yeah, women are attracted to confidence, money, and social status. Get over it. If you don't have money or social status, get some. If you don't have confidence, work on your body, and you'll get some. If you're already good looking, and confident, and rich, and everything still isn't working for you...well, try therapy, because there IS something wrong.

 

True.......................but then again, I really think it has a lot to do with 'luck'. Some guys have none of these things above and can still get a girl, but this is very rare.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Then I guess it varies from girl to girl.

[weedsandposies]

In my opinion, every man has potential for both. It all depends on how they view/feel towards the woman and/or situation.