Author one goal Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 Do you have a final paper? That's even better. You can simply tell her you would really appreciate her comments on the paper and would like to retrieve the copy. It is true that professor don't all work in their offices, but in most schools, we have an obligation to be available to students at certain times if they want to meet us outside of class. At my current uni, most profs see students by appointment only. So, easy, find a reason (retrieve paper) and book an appointment with her - once she's submitted the final grade. And I've been wondering since the first few pages of this thread... Are you sure you have the right email address for her? Yea, I have her school email. She gave it out at the start of class for us. She's replied to me before in email, sometimes.
Knittress Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 What do you mean by mentality to handle someone in their late 30s? What is wrong with it that older girls wouldn't like? I didn't say anything about you not being able to 'handle' a woman in her 30s. If she's everything you say, I'm sure she has her share of suitors and doesn't need any kid-glove treatment from you. What I meant was why the heck would a person with a PhD be interested in someone who demonstrates such low reading-comprehension? But in all honestly, I suspect that this post isn't entirely for reals. 100+ comments over this, every-other one from the OP blithely ignoring all sensible responses? It's either thickheadedness or a game to see how long this keeps going...
Kamille Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 It's either thickheadedness or a game to see how long this keeps going... And the lack of enthusiasm put towards finding a way to ask her out after she hands in the final grade, but the insane energy put into shutting down all of our suggestions... such as saying she has no office.
johan Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I didn't say anything about you not being able to 'handle' a woman in her 30s. If she's everything you say, I'm sure she has her share of suitors and doesn't need any kid-glove treatment from you. What I meant was why the heck would a person with a PhD be interested in someone who demonstrates such low reading-comprehension? But in all honestly, I suspect that this post isn't entirely for reals. 100+ comments over this, every-other one from the OP blithely ignoring all sensible responses? It's either thickheadedness or a game to see how long this keeps going... Some people think it's funny to manipulate people.
Author one goal Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 And the lack of enthusiasm put towards finding a way to ask her out after she hands in the final grade, but the insane energy put into shutting down all of our suggestions... such as saying she has no office. The problem is I don't know how to ask her. I mean how to ask her out and express myself that I think she's cute, and like her personality.
Author one goal Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 Another thing is that I think she gets kinda annoyed by me because I email her a lot whenever I have a question about an assignment sometimes she doesn't reply now. Would it be good not to ask her about every little thing? Because then she might see me as being a persistant guy if she went out with me?
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 She probably won't want to go out with you. That's the thing. Better to let this go.
Author one goal Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 She probably won't want to go out with you. That's the thing. Better to let this go. Why do you say that?
Author one goal Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 If I decide to ask her out before the end of the year what should I expect?
Kamille Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 If I decide to ask her out before the end of the year what should I expect? We've pretty much covered that ground. Reread the thread. Most of the posters who have teaching responsibilities said that if a student asked them out before the end of the semester, they would decline the date. Nothing more, nothing less.
Author one goal Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 We've pretty much covered that ground. Reread the thread. Most of the posters who have teaching responsibilities said that if a student asked them out before the end of the semester, they would decline the date. Nothing more, nothing less. True. I was just thinking should sack up and just ask her out and get it over with. I might do it via email because It's hard to get her alone in class.
confused192 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Do not ask her out before the last day of class. That will not go well because she still has to issue you a final grade and there is no way she could accept a date under those circumstances. Just ask her on the last day of class.
Author one goal Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 Do not ask her out before the last day of class. That will not go well because she still has to issue you a final grade and there is no way she could accept a date under those circumstances. Just ask her on the last day of class. Btw you look cute!
moontiger Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 So how did he meet you if he went to a different school. I was a professor in a small college town with two colleges. It was impossible to go anywhere without running into a horde of undergrads, and so I met him repeatedly in various places. He friended me on Facebook and I thought nothing of it until he told me he was attracted to me and asked me out. As I said, I was just amused and flattered, but not interested.
moontiger Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 If I decide to ask her out before the end of the year what should I expect? Best case: She will decline. Worst case: She will also be uncomfortable around you, and avoid you until you are out of her class. Again, as of last year I was a young female professor. Had a current student asked me out, I probably would have made sure I was not alone with the student after that. Allegations of any unprofessional behavior toward students are very serious business at universities, and can cost a tenure-track professor his or her tenure. No matter how cute you are, you probably aren't worth her job to her. If you want to ask her out, wait until grades are finished.
iron_m Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 I think this situation is not uncommon for TA teaching undergrads and young profs advising graduate students. I am an assistant prof. (male) and I regularly meet (female) graduate students who are almost my age, so I have first hand experience on this. This is the reality: Dating/having physical intimacy with current students (from the same unit) is not allowed by most universities. Doing the same with very recent graduates is also problematic (the rest of the Faculty may wonder "since when was this going on"?). Dating students from other academic units is in theory OK... but in practice, the last think a prof wants is to be seen as using his/her "badge" to get dates... and that is, in general, the image that is projected. So if you invite a prof. out you should be ready for being rejected... If the prof is in compliance with the faculty handbook he/she should do that. What's more, he/she may be required to report it to the chair/unit administrator.
Author one goal Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 What about if I ask her if she wants to go to lunch after class, or hangout sometime? Would that still be inappropriate to ask? I mean it gives the hint you like her, but doesn't sound romantic, or sexual harassment.
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