White Flower Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 How are you today Precious? I know from losing people I love that the silence when they are gone is deafening. The silence can be used to remember and be contemplative about things shared. As the loss was so sudden you will still be in shock, feel numb and still be waiting for contact. It is pointless to say, fill your days, because you will not know what to fill them with. When I lost my Mum, which is different I know, but I felt so alone, I visited places which were important to us and at each I remembered something that made me smile, at some I left things which said that we had been there, it made it real. As the weeks went along I compiled a box full of memories, good and bad, for no relationship is ever all good - I still have it, it is called My Box of Bright Sparkly Things, I put thoughts, poems, quotes, stones (Mum loved stones) and bits of nonsense in it. I take it out now and again and smile. I planted Mum her favourite flower in rememberance, I spent many an hour talking to it, people must have thought I had lost the plot. In time you will remember and smile, for now I hope you have someone IRL for support. Take Care Seren xx For those who knock, at times someone just needs to discuss how they feel and how they hurt. It doesn't matter what those circumstances were or are, people in pain, hurt and those that have just experienced loss need compassion, they are not in a place to retalliate, so I don't understand why the nasty posts. This is a person who loved another and that other has died, to not be able to openly share that must be simply awful. Can I ask that if there is nothing to say that offers compassion and understanding to just move along. This is one of those threads where kicking someone when they are down is inexcusable.Seren, You are the most incredible woman I have met here at LS. You have compassion beyond recognition and for a fBS it is very very rare. I cannot express to you how much of my respect you have, it is just impossible. I wish more could be like you. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Precious I wouldn't answer questions from someone who has under a dozen posts yet asserts themselves with the punch of a longtime poster. I smell troll all over it and I would suggest they go visit (or return to) the what would you do if you owned LS thread. And Precious don't answer the question. Even if the family or your MM wanted you to have something it's nobody's business. Grace, dignity, and love. Hold on to those and ignore the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Precious I wouldn't answer questions from someone who has under a dozen posts yet asserts themselves with the punch of a longtime poster. I smell troll all over it and I would suggest they go visit (or return to) the what would you do if you owned LS thread. And Precious don't answer the question. Even if the family or your MM wanted you to have something it's nobody's business. Grace, dignity, and love. Hold on to those and ignore the rest. I was thinking the same thing. Even if you were married to him, or if a parent died, I would never ask someone about the reading of the Will. That's just personal and private, something that shouldn't be known by others, especially online. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Precious I wouldn't answer questions from someone who has under a dozen posts yet asserts themselves with the punch of a longtime poster. I smell troll all over it and I would suggest they go visit (or return to) the what would you do if you owned LS thread. And Precious don't answer the question. Even if the family or your MM wanted you to have something it's nobody's business. Grace, dignity, and love. Hold on to those and ignore the rest.Like I said... Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 (edited) How are you today Precious? I know from losing people I love that the silence when they are gone is deafening. The silence can be used to remember and be contemplative about things shared. As the loss was so sudden you will still be in shock, feel numb and still be waiting for contact. It is pointless to say, fill your days, because you will not know what to fill them with. When I lost my Mum, which is different I know, but I felt so alone, I visited places which were important to us and at each I remembered something that made me smile, at some I left things which said that we had been there, it made it real. As the weeks went along I compiled a box full of memories, good and bad, for no relationship is ever all good - I still have it, it is called My Box of Bright Sparkly Things, I put thoughts, poems, quotes, stones (Mum loved stones) and bits of nonsense in it. I take it out now and again and smile. I planted Mum her favourite flower in rememberance, I spent many an hour talking to it, people must have thought I had lost the plot. In time you will remember and smile, for now I hope you have someone IRL for support. Take Care Seren xx For those who knock, at times someone just needs to discuss how they feel and how they hurt. It doesn't matter what those circumstances were or are, people in pain, hurt and those that have just experienced loss need compassion, they are not in a place to retalliate, so I don't understand why the nasty posts. This is a person who loved another and that other has died, to not be able to openly share that must be simply awful. Can I ask that if there is nothing to say that offers compassion and understanding to just move along. This is one of those threads where kicking someone when they are down is inexcusable. Seren, I cry and I cry more...its comes on suddenly...the reality is very difficult, no more calls, no more laughter...its unreal to me. When I came in the house yesterday, I just knew and wanted to really believe, that I would hear from him...but then reality sets in...so I just wanted to thank you for your kindness and understanding...I have no one to talk to about him, except in my cyberworld...thank you again. I have collected the different cards, photos and pictures and I will put them in a box along with the tape of his voice. Thanks for that idea...love, love, love! Edited March 21, 2011 by precious1357 forgot something Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Seren, I cry and I cry more...its comes on suddenly...the reality is very difficult, no more calls, no more laughter...its unreal to me. When I came in the house yesterday, I just knew and wanted to really believe, that I would hear from him...but then reality sets in...so I just wanted to thank you for your kindness and understanding...I have no one to talk to about him, except in my cyberworld...thank you again. I have collected the different cards, photos and pictures and I will put them in a box along with the tape of his voice. Thanks for that idea...love, love, love! Precious, I am so very sorry you're going through this. I admire your strength. You keep on 'talking' about him here as much or as little as you wish. Best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Precious, I just wanted to say have a nice day and I'm sending hugs your way. ((((((((((Precious)))))))))) Link to post Share on other sites
lemonlegs Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Hi Precious, I hope you are doing alright. All of your posts made me cry. Like others, I don't know your backstory, but I think it was very admirable to go to his family's house to offer your condolences. Regardless of the circumstances, he was obviously a person you loved deeply, and that's all that matters. I'm glad to hear that you have many pictures and recordings to remind yourself of the wonderful relationship you had with him. You have inspired to tell my boyfriend how much I love him when I see him later, and my family for that matter as well. I sincerely hope you start to feel better soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Jane Deaux Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 ((((Precious)))) Still thinking about you. Thanks for keeping us updated on how you are doing. I still think about you everyday and hope that you are finding peace in something. I wish there was someone you could talk to about the good times. Sometimes that helps to be able to share memories that are special. Talking about someone you loved and lost is healing. I hope you find someone to open up to. It has to be painful holding all that in. I couldn't do it. I'd burst from the pain. I am sorry for your suffering. I still can't imagine and I just hurt trying to imagine what you are going through. <3 <3 Hold on tight to the memory and the love, but let the what-ifs go. Those are only pain. Link to post Share on other sites
blueroses10 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Seren, Thanks so much...his death is so strange, we talked the day before, he went home and died...not sick or anything. Seren,your words are so encouraging, fact is, I keep reading your post over and over...I think this is a dream and I will wake up and things will be as they were...we just had such good times, we laughed and everything so very much! This is so incredible to me, I have had people die around me, my grandmother etc...but this love is sooooo great, OMG!!! You cannot imagine but I thank you thru my tears...thank you, thank you, thank you. My phone used to ring 3-5 times per day...now nobody calls, it seems as if I am alone and EVERYBODY stopped...Thank you again Seren for your kind words. Death is very strange. It hurts when you know a person is going to die and it hurts when it's unexpected. I am very sorry for the pain that you are in, hold on to the memories that you have and in time you will start to heal. Is there a grief counseling type group that you can attend--maybe at your church or somewhere in your area? I know that it's soon but find something that you like or love and do that or find a new project and do that in honor of your lost loved one. A cooking class or art class will help fill in some of the blank space. ((((precious)))) Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 blueroses10, JaneDeaux, Lemonlegs, WhiteFlower and Seren, and all others! If I could reach out and hug you all I would, I would send you all flowers if I could, why...because you have been so wonderful in your messages to me at this terrible time, if you get ANYTHING out of this, please LOVE LONG AND LOVE HARD, if you have an argument or disagreement, hurry and apologize, Please, kiss each other a WHOLE lot and if by chance you get time to spend together and something else comes up, forgetaboutit!!! My SWEETHEART taught me so many things, how to be a lady, how to care even more, and he loved me so much, just the way I am...he thought I was so good and he would say to me "you are so pretty, I love you so much and thank you for loving me". ISN'T THAT WONDERFUl!!!...He was a rare man... I believe God pulled him to heaven because He knew that my sweetheart's heart was breaking because he wanted us to be together so badly...he would say "Oh, this year Honey, its our year, 2011 we're going to heaven"...He didn't know he would be going to the REAL HEAVEN but I believe I will see him again...LOVE AND BE HAPPY ALL OF YOU and thank you so much! Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 blueroses10, JaneDeaux, Lemonlegs, WhiteFlower and Seren, and all others! If I could reach out and hug you all I would, I would send you all flowers if I could, why...because you have been so wonderful in your messages to me at this terrible time, if you get ANYTHING out of this, please LOVE LONG AND LOVE HARD, if you have an argument or disagreement, hurry and apologize, Please, kiss each other a WHOLE lot and if by chance you get time to spend together and something else comes up, forgetaboutit!!! My SWEETHEART taught me so many things, how to be a lady, how to care even more, and he loved me so much, just the way I am...he thought I was so good and he would say to me "you are so pretty, I love you so much and thank you for loving me". ISN'T THAT WONDERFUl!!!...He was a rare man... I believe God pulled him to heaven because He knew that my sweetheart's heart was breaking because he wanted us to be together so badly...he would say "Oh, this year Honey, its our year, 2011 we're going to heaven"...He didn't know he would be going to the REAL HEAVEN but I believe I will see him again...LOVE AND BE HAPPY ALL OF YOU and thank you so much! ((((((giant hugs precious))))) you have my never ending prayers Precious. I can't even imagine what your going through...very few will truly understand, but that's ok because you know the truth...and that my love is the most important thing. Stand strong Precious.... Link to post Share on other sites
whathesaid Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Thinking of you, Precious. Hope you are well. Keep on remembering the love because at the end of the day, the love is all that matters. Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 ((((((giant hugs precious))))) you have my never ending prayers Precious. I can't even imagine what your going through...very few will truly understand, but that's ok because you know the truth...and that my love is the most important thing. Stand strong Precious.... pureinheart, it has been 25 days since my sweetheart left...I'm feeling a little better today...the hurt comes and goes, especially when the times comes around when we talk during the day..so when the time comes, I just listen to one of his messages, his voice helps me so much....thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 blueroses10, JaneDeaux, Lemonlegs, WhiteFlower and Seren, and all others! If I could reach out and hug you all I would, I would send you all flowers if I could, why...because you have been so wonderful in your messages to me at this terrible time, if you get ANYTHING out of this, please LOVE LONG AND LOVE HARD, if you have an argument or disagreement, hurry and apologize, Please, kiss each other a WHOLE lot and if by chance you get time to spend together and something else comes up, forgetaboutit!!! My SWEETHEART taught me so many things, how to be a lady, how to care even more, and he loved me so much, just the way I am...he thought I was so good and he would say to me "you are so pretty, I love you so much and thank you for loving me". ISN'T THAT WONDERFUl!!!...He was a rare man... I believe God pulled him to heaven because He knew that my sweetheart's heart was breaking because he wanted us to be together so badly...he would say "Oh, this year Honey, its our year, 2011 we're going to heaven"...He didn't know he would be going to the REAL HEAVEN but I believe I will see him again...LOVE AND BE HAPPY ALL OF YOU and thank you so much! You are one lucky lady....that's a rare kind of love and its great you had a chance to experience it. I garauntee he is up there watching over you. Best wishes sweety! Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 You are one lucky lady....that's a rare kind of love and its great you had a chance to experience it. I garauntee he is up there watching over you. Best wishes sweety! spice4life, Oh, I want to believe he watching, I want to believe he hears me...I talk to him often during the day...especially when I get in from work because not long after I would get home he would call to make sure I got in safely...I love him so much...! Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 While I don't want to make little of the impact his untimely death must have had on you, Precious, I do want to commend you on the positive way you are celebrating his love, and his life. I hope his memories continue to warm your heart and lighten your days. ((((hugs)))) Link to post Share on other sites
seren Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Was thinking about you today Precious. Hope all is OK with you and you are finding life a little easier. Just a gentle Hello and a take care thought for you Seren x Link to post Share on other sites
Irishlove Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Precious, he does hear you. Keep talking to him. I am so sorry to hear of this. It makes me want to wrap my arms around my love right now!! You have us here to talk to. I'm sure angels are around you during this time ^i^ Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 blueroses10, JaneDeaux, Lemonlegs, WhiteFlower and Seren, and all others! If I could reach out and hug you all I would, I would send you all flowers if I could, why...because you have been so wonderful in your messages to me at this terrible time, if you get ANYTHING out of this, please LOVE LONG AND LOVE HARD, if you have an argument or disagreement, hurry and apologize, Please, kiss each other a WHOLE lot and if by chance you get time to spend together and something else comes up, forgetaboutit!!! My SWEETHEART taught me so many things, how to be a lady, how to care even more, and he loved me so much, just the way I am...he thought I was so good and he would say to me "you are so pretty, I love you so much and thank you for loving me". ISN'T THAT WONDERFUl!!!...He was a rare man... I believe God pulled him to heaven because He knew that my sweetheart's heart was breaking because he wanted us to be together so badly...he would say "Oh, this year Honey, its our year, 2011 we're going to heaven"...He didn't know he would be going to the REAL HEAVEN but I believe I will see him again...LOVE AND BE HAPPY ALL OF YOU and thank you so much!I must echo Owoman's words. You seem to be doing pretty well for going through this massive loss, and it must be your positive outlook as well as sharing a love so great that it lingers behind. I'm glad you have his messages to listen to. I have about 400 such messages and I listen to them from time to time. They make me smile. (((Precious))) Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 Was thinking about you today Precious. Hope all is OK with you and you are finding life a little easier. Just a gentle Hello and a take care thought for you Seren x This post gave me goosebumps. I hope it was of comfort to Precious. Link to post Share on other sites
awkward Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Precious I hope that things are getting easier for you. Please check in and let us know how you are. Link to post Share on other sites
dcrdsknsfan Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Precious, I'm so sorry for your loss and so feel your pain. I lost my MM and love 2 months ago yesterday. It's devastating and hard to explain to anyone who hasn't gone through it. Although the folks here are amazing! If you would like to talk please don't hesitate to write me at [email protected]. Maybe we could even talk one day. Take care of yourself and know you AREN'T alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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