lday Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 I am so sorry, please take care of yourself. See someone a counselor if you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 Precious, how are you doing? Have you someone you have been able to talk to? Please don't be alone through this. Thinking of you. I continue to cry often because I miss him soooo much! OMG, you have no idea! We talked every SINGLE DAY AT LEAST 3-5 TIMES A DAY and we had GREAT TIMES TOGETHER, I HAVE ABOUT 35 VOICEMAILS OF HIS VOICE AND PICTURES, AND BELIEVE ME THEY HELP. I did not attend the funeral service, I wanted to remember him standing tall and strong, I went to the family's house out of respect, I felt I had to do IT and he would have been so proud to know that...no matter what he was a great person...I was received very well, no hard feelings and I thank God for that... I do not know what the future holds but I know the Lord did allow peace and for that I am grateful! I am seeing a therapist about my feelings though and so far so good. I want to say to everyone that responded, THANK YOU! You will never every know how Grateful I am. Previously, I thought this was just an OUTLET for fun but you all have been so great and I am thankful for this Community! Please thanks for being understanding and not beating me up...God bless you all and if I can EVER be of help to ANYONE ....please let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 My heart goes out to you. Reading your post gave me goose bumps. I wish you well and hope you keep posting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 I can't imagine. SOooooo very sorry. I just thought the other day how difficult it would be to lose him and not be able to grieve openly or grieve as a wife can. I agree with others to find counseling if you don't have a friend who knows your situation that you can openly grieve with and talk to. Take care of yourself and know that there are others out here thinking of you at this time of need. Mend you heart with whatever therapy you can right now. Thank you soooooooooo much! I really appreciate you right now! Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 oH honey im sorry, i know this is difficult and feel free to let ur words flow through your fingers if u need to let them out. I can only imagine how difficult this process will be for u. My condolences sweetheart.. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldenspoon Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I did not attend the funeral service, I wanted to remember him standing tall and strong, I went to the family's house out of respect, I felt I had to do IT and he would have been so proud to know that...no matter what he was a great person...I was received very well, no hard feelings and I thank God for that.... Does that mean that his wife know who you are and okay with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Jane Deaux Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Thank you soooooooooo much! I really appreciate you right now! I wish that I could give you a hug. (((precious))) When I read your post it struck me because I had JUST thought about what if... and my heart literally hurts to even try to imagine it. I can't imagine all the ways I'd be lost and unable to express them. I hope you have found someone to talk to that you can openly cry and tell them about all the things you imagined that you've lost now. That's what I would need to share. Sorry if this hurts you more by bringing it up :/ Sweetie, Im just so so sorry for your pain. It isnt fair. Ever. For anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. Jones Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I continue to cry often because I miss him soooo much! OMG, you have no idea! We talked every SINGLE DAY AT LEAST 3-5 TIMES A DAY and we had GREAT TIMES TOGETHER, I HAVE ABOUT 35 VOICEMAILS OF HIS VOICE AND PICTURES, AND BELIEVE ME THEY HELP. I did not attend the funeral service, I wanted to remember him standing tall and strong, I went to the family's house out of respect, I felt I had to do IT and he would have been so proud to know that... Your post brought tears to my eyes. I could not even imagine going through this and have thought of what if…myself. I am glad you are talking to someone and working through this. My heart goes out to you… Link to post Share on other sites
RGP Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 This must be so painful for you. I wish you continued healing. (((hugs))) Link to post Share on other sites
awkward Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Precious I'm so sorry that this has happened. Please take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Your post brought tears to my eyes. I could not even imagine going through this and have thought of what if…myself. I am glad you are talking to someone and working through this. My heart goes out to you… Please be mindful everyone that life can make a sudden impact on you. Talk to your loved one, especially if you really love each other, as we did!!! If death comes suddenly, you will not be able to do anything, say anything and your heart will be broken....make voice recordings, take pictures, do it, please! Hopefully, you will take my words seriously because I know how my heart feels and I have to keep it all in, while yet hearing everyone else talk about the loss....I loved him....thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Please be mindful everyone that life can make a sudden impact on you. Talk to your loved one, especially if you really love each other, as we did!!! If death comes suddenly, you will not be able to do anything, say anything and your heart will be broken....make voice recordings, take pictures, do it, please! Hopefully, you will take my words seriously because I know how my heart feels and I have to keep it all in, while yet hearing everyone else talk about the loss....I loved him....thanks. Oh Precious.... My prayers are with you honey. I know those things have been helping me now even though I know I should let go and leave the past behind. I am happy you have those things to always remember him. Cherish your memories. I'm glad to see you posting stay strong. We are here for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 Well, you might think so and you have a right to your opinion. However, the family was fine, we hugged and put the past behind us. We are all different people and handle things differently. I wrestled with the task, believe me I did, I went with the intention of giving a card and leaving quickly. I cannot go into all the details here but believe me it was the right thing to do in this situation with the individuals involved. AND IT ALL WENT VERY VERY WELL! Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Well, you might think so and you have a right to your opinion. However, the family was fine, we hugged and put the past behind us. We are all different people and handle things differently. I wrestled with the task, believe me I did, I went with the intention of giving a card and leaving quickly. I cannot go into all the details here but believe me it was the right thing to do in this situation with the individuals involved. AND IT ALL WENT VERY VERY WELL! Don't worry about the naysayers. Only you know what the individual circumstances were and what the proper thing to do was. Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 Don't worry about the naysayers. Only you know what the individual circumstances were and what the proper thing to do was. You are so right, thank you very much...I appreciate you... Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 You went to the family's home? Wow. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 You went to the family's home? Wow. Wow is right. Reminds me, I need to have a talk with the BIL's. The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner. Which of those do you folks believe your posts fit in to? I find them to be bashing posts. I have received infractions for posts which do not offer meaningful support. I think you should reconsider the point of your posts. Link to post Share on other sites
SuzieWong Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 I am so very sorry for your loss. He will always live in your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner. Which of those do you folks believe your posts fit in to? I find them to be bashing posts. I have received infractions for posts which do not offer meaningful support. I think you should reconsider the point of your posts. Thanks to everyone so very much! There is no one in my house but me which allows me to scream at the world without disturbing anyone....Life is so very hard...to those viewing this and find yourself the OW/OM, live and laugh and make good memories...trust me you never know...it seems as if my telephone doesn't ring at all, God is really punishing me..I have asked for forgiveness and I believe He hears but I have to reap what I sowed, so to those who want to bash me...go ahead, I can add your bashes to the mountain of hurt I feel right now... Edited March 15, 2011 by precious1357 Link to post Share on other sites
phillyfan Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner. Which of those do you folks believe your posts fit in to? I find them to be bashing posts. I have received infractions for posts which do not offer meaningful support. I think you should reconsider the point of your posts. I agree with silly girl, these posters kickin Precious when shes down, that is the lowest form of life, shes just lost the man she loves, n u r sarcastic? Wtf is wrong wit u? Precious, keep ur head up u have courage, goin to see the family it was the rite thing, u have dignity u r strong u will get thru this, we r all thinkin of u, hopin ur ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 'Precious, keep ur head up u have courage, goin to see the family it was the rite thing, u have dignity u r strong u will get thru this, we r all thinkin of u, hopin ur ok." Thank u, thank u...Believe it or not, I am quite religious and so was he, believe me he was and that's what would make us so strange (not hypocritical). He held onto an unloving partner for relgious reasons, we would go back and forth about this "sinful thing" and he was say..."God knows..." God knows now how much my heart just hurts...and yet I know that God is merciful and will eventually allow my heart to mend in due time... Link to post Share on other sites
seren Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Hi Precious, I don't know your backstory and at the moment it really isn't the point in fact. I do however know that you are hurt and feel alone, it is still very raw and painful for you and of course will be for some time. adding to your loss with feeling somehow that this is your lot will not help, of course you know this. I am not religous, but I hope you can get comfort from your faith. No one dies because they have had an A, not unless there is a physical reason (murder, suicide), yes, people's actions have consequences, but not this, not the loss of the MM or his demise. I so hope you can find solace in your relationship and what was, I also hope that in time you heal or at least heal enough to remember what it is to feel good. For now, you will hurt and for that I sincerely hope you have some support IRL. Take very good care. Seren x Link to post Share on other sites
Author precious1357 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Hi Precious, I don't know your backstory and at the moment it really isn't the point in fact. I do however know that you are hurt and feel alone, it is still very raw and painful for you and of course will be for some time. adding to your loss with feeling somehow that this is your lot will not help, of course you know this. I am not religous, but I hope you can get comfort from your faith. No one dies because they have had an A, not unless there is a physical reason (murder, suicide), yes, people's actions have consequences, but not this, not the loss of the MM or his demise. I so hope you can find solace in your relationship and what was, I also hope that in time you heal or at least heal enough to remember what it is to feel good. For now, you will hurt and for that I sincerely hope you have some support IRL. Take very good care. Seren x Seren, Thanks so much...his death is so strange, we talked the day before, he went home and died...not sick or anything. Seren,your words are so encouraging, fact is, I keep reading your post over and over...I think this is a dream and I will wake up and things will be as they were...we just had such good times, we laughed and everything so very much! This is so incredible to me, I have had people die around me, my grandmother etc...but this love is sooooo great, OMG!!! You cannot imagine but I thank you thru my tears...thank you, thank you, thank you. My phone used to ring 3-5 times per day...now nobody calls, it seems as if I am alone and EVERYBODY stopped...Thank you again Seren for your kind words. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Dear precious, My heart goes out to you. I have had many conversations with my guy about the possibility of either of us dying and what we would do in such an event. We never did come up with definitive answers other than him leaving. I have lost many dear loved ones in my life and I know what it's like to not have that phone ring after they pass. It is a difficult change to overcome and my heart feels your pain. Just keep listening to those voicemails and smile knowing that you shared beautiful times together. You were smart to save them. As for the hatred here, just ignore them. Love is always stronger than hate and you have people here who love you and share your pain. God be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
seren Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 How are you today Precious? I know from losing people I love that the silence when they are gone is deafening. The silence can be used to remember and be contemplative about things shared. As the loss was so sudden you will still be in shock, feel numb and still be waiting for contact. It is pointless to say, fill your days, because you will not know what to fill them with. When I lost my Mum, which is different I know, but I felt so alone, I visited places which were important to us and at each I remembered something that made me smile, at some I left things which said that we had been there, it made it real. As the weeks went along I compiled a box full of memories, good and bad, for no relationship is ever all good - I still have it, it is called My Box of Bright Sparkly Things, I put thoughts, poems, quotes, stones (Mum loved stones) and bits of nonsense in it. I take it out now and again and smile. I planted Mum her favourite flower in rememberance, I spent many an hour talking to it, people must have thought I had lost the plot. In time you will remember and smile, for now I hope you have someone IRL for support. Take Care Seren xx For those who knock, at times someone just needs to discuss how they feel and how they hurt. It doesn't matter what those circumstances were or are, people in pain, hurt and those that have just experienced loss need compassion, they are not in a place to retalliate, so I don't understand why the nasty posts. This is a person who loved another and that other has died, to not be able to openly share that must be simply awful. Can I ask that if there is nothing to say that offers compassion and understanding to just move along. This is one of those threads where kicking someone when they are down is inexcusable. Link to post Share on other sites
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