Still strugling

[Carrot2000]

It does stop me from living, from loving someone else for one simple reason....NO ONE WANTS ME! NO ONE. I'm not good enough for anyone, there is no one to date. Why is it that people keep saying to me, go out and live, find some happiness, fins someone else??????????/ Tell me how then because I'm ****** if I know! There literally are no men that are interested in me. I go out, I go to bars, I go to sprots clubs, I talk to guys on trains FFS, NO ONE WANTS ME! I'm destined to die alone, i laid in the hospital ALONE. Don't you get it, I am sick of trying, I'm done, what is the ******* point in living a life of all consuming pain, lonliness and misery, there is nothing to breathe for.

 

Willow, sweetie, I've been where you are. Actually, to some degree, I am experiencing the some of the same feelings you are going through right now. Hang in there...things will get better.

 

I think you may be going through a major depressive episode. I was once told that going through extremely stressful periods depletes the feel-good neurotransmitters in your brain, and after all you've been through in the last two years you may be experiencing this. I'm not a medical professional so please don't think I'm trying to diagnose you! Talk to your GP about getting a prescription for anti-depressants. They won't magically make your problems disappear, but they will help balance out the chemicals in your brain that have been thrown out of whack. A good antidepressant--and by good I mean one that works for you--won't leave you feeling numb; things that bother you may still bother you, the difference is that you will be able to better process your feelings and look at your situation with clarity.

 

As far as the job, honey, there's a worldwide recession going on right now. Your inability to find work is a function of that, not a reflection of any deficiency on your part so don't beat yourself up about it. I work for the US gov't and we're facing a shut down next week, so you're not alone in this mess! You may have to take a job that's outside of your field until the economy gets better. If you're in a bad living situation and facing homelessness in June, be proactive and start finding resources to help you. It's probably hard to even think about these things right now because you're feeling awful, but hopefully with your GP's assistance you will be feeling better soon and will have the energy to tackle these issues.

 

Don't believe you are not lovable because you're not getting attention from me. First of all, at 35 you're not going to find a man in a club or a bar because those men generally aren't looking for serious relationships. Be patient and take care of yourself and your love life will fall into place. In the meantime, try volunteering someplace to take your mind off your ex; go someplace where your efforts will be appreciated. It will give you a break from the home-to-school routine and having someone acknowledge you and say "thank you" really does a lot for the self-esteem. It's also good way to build your career network and make friends.

 

I hope what I've written has been helpful. I know you're still hurting, but it doesn't have to last forever. Your ex has some serious issues and he needs to heal himself. At this point he's setting himself up for a life of misery, but that's his choice and his problem. You don't have to be miserable. You can still have a life full of love and meaning.

 

Hang in there and keep us posted, OK?

[willowthewisp]

Steadfast, you're right about one thing, you are being over simplistic, people do generally want to be with the one they love, but not when the one they love puts the fear of god into them and causes overwhelming panic attacks because they are terrified of marriage! You don't know enough detail about my situation to make these comments. Whilst my IC cannot be in my ex's mind, he has gone over in detail with me evreything that happened in the last 20 years and analysed my ex's words and ACTIONS, my counsellor is over 60 years old and has been counselling for 40 years, personally I'm going to go with what he says rather than you.

 

You were not there and do not know enough detail, nor are you trained, you weren't there for example when my ex came back and told me he wasn't sure he had done the right thing and he missed me and loved me and then went again because he was having panic attacks so something wasn't right and that must be me and back again and went again and so on. He has a big problem, he has commitment phobia, that does not mean that he doesn't love me or that he never did.

 

Quite honestly your comments are really upsetting me and I would please ask you now to stop, do you realise you are making me so upset I am crying? Or perhaps that does not matter to you?

 

Carrot thank you for your kindness.

[Carrot2000]

Willow, you don't want to grieve forever, but I think it will take more than 2 years to get over the loss of a 20-year relationship. Don't feel bad because you're still hurting or not as far along in your process as others think you should be. There will come a day when you are fully recovered, but until then, you have every right to feel as you do.

[willowthewisp]

Willow, you don't want to grieve forever, but I think it will take more than 2 years to get over the loss of a 20-year relationship. Don't feel bad because you're still hurting or not as far along in your process as others think you should be. There will come a day when you are fully recovered, but until then, you have every right to feel as you do.

 

That's what gets me sometimes Carrot, it does take a long time to get over that length of relationship, we lived together 10 years, spent time together every day, for that to suddenly be gone is such a strange and unpleasant feeling, yet he just walks away, replaces me. I know some people say that he would have emotionally detached a long time before he left, but again, that's the weird thing, from IC I know that I wasn't blindsided.

 

It upsets me that he is carrying on, enjoying life, quite happy, yet I am still feeling the pain after two years, despite trying to get over it. Last night I had yet another dream about him and when I woke up I felt hopeless. I feel hopeless because i don't want to have to keep feeling like this, I don't want to feel like this the rest of my life, I just wnat it all to stop. The longer it goes on, the more exhausted by it I am. It just feels like no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to get over this, I just can't.

[Distant78]

Sorry for your pain.

[You Go Girl]

Willow,

 

A few things you wrote jumped out at me. I have read several of your posts over the last year or more, but today I gained some insight I never had previously.

You state that your ex had an instable childhood with trauma involved. I think this is key to who he is and the decisions he has made.

Willow, you offered and gave him stability. He needed that because of his childhood.

Now he has cut loose. He wants to find his freedom in himself.

This is his personal journey. It doesn't have anything to do with you--not that part of it. You were stability for him, but he doesn't know who he is outside of seeking stability with you to overcome his childhood trauma.

 

It is very selfish of him to have stayed with you for that reason--stability. You understand he had a severe lack of stability, so he needed you that way.

Now he is out there trying to find out who he is if he doesn't make his choices based on finding stability as his primary motivation in finding a partner.

He could end up alone, unhappy, or happy, who knows? He jumped out there and tried out his wings to see if he could fly.

He could find his wings don't work very well and he crashes and burns.

 

My point is that it is his personal journey. Far too often we attach others personal journeys through life to our own. After 20 years--it sure is understandable why you do that! I completely get it!

I am just offering this viewpoint to you--because I see your ex as someone who USED YOU to have stability. He loved you too--but at some point--he decided he needed to find out who he is without leaning on the stability you have offered and given him, and that is when he broke up with you.

This is what happens when a partner has issues they need to work through. We become collateral damage.

Willow, I understand your pain. I too feel like collateral damage sometimes as my ex works through his issues. It is very painful to not have some recognition for what we gave up for them, or what we endured, or the years we have lost. I feel like screaming "YOU OWE ME!"

You know what...he's not going to see that. He's not going to feel he owes me. It would be unhealthy anyway. He probably feels like collateral damage for my issues, entirely different from his. The only healthy way for me to view it all is to think there is no point in measuring who owes who what.

This is life when we experience loss. It hurts! Somehow Willow, we both have to see ourselves through. I am stumbling daily trying to find my way back to the point where I have true self-respect and self-esteem, because it was stripped from me during the dysfunctional years.

It's so hard to fight for ourselves when we don't have the necessary self-esteem. The self-esteem is necessary for the fight, yet we can't get the self-esteem until we fight for the respect we deserve, and each needs the other to work.

I think it is one of those cases of 'fake it until you make it'.

 

At some point Willow, you are going to feel that you DON'T WANT HIM BACK.

You don't want someone who would treat you like that. You don't want someone who wouldn't commit. You don't want someone who is so selfish, that he kept to himself that he wanted to try his wings out to fly, but didn't tell you for 8 years because he was a coward, and wanted the stability that your relationship gave him. He leaned on you and used you for that stability.

You know where the stability is missing? IN HIS OWN MIND.

He has a long battle ahead to find that stability within himself. No new woman is going to give it to him like a present. Nobody can give it to him but himself. He can't find it outside of himself, it isn't there, it never will be.

He has a battle he is fighting within himself--it is his battle alone--and it's a hard battle willow. He may be extremely miserable in years to come, who knows?

You have to focus on, and take care of, YOU.

He has childhood trauma to overcome.

You have trauma from your relationship with him.

Each of your trauma battles are independent of each other, and only you can fight for yourself, nobody else can do it for you.

Be kind to yourself Willow. Give yourself time. Pat yourself on the back when you deserve it. 35 is young, believe me, us older folk know!

[willowthewisp]

Hi YGG,

 

Thanks for taking the time to write out that theory. I have actually already explored it with the IC and it seems not, to many things don't add up for this to be the case.

 

My ex is a gamophobic, fear of marriage, it's just that because I have suffered childhood emotional abuse and still do now as a result of having to live in that enivroment again, I sometimes struggle to beleive what I know to be true from having been through it all in IC. I backslide and self blame, internalising his words and his excuses, his inability to admit to himself his own issues. He's in denial, pure and plain denial, but because I have such low self esteem, sometimes I swing back to self blame and that has been what has been happening over the last few days with all the stress of my law exams and so on.

 

Does anyone here know anything about emotional neglect by a partner? I was reading about it the lat couple of days and I think I may have been subjected to it by my ex.

[willowthewisp]

HeyWillow-really sorry that you're hurting.

It sounds like you've suffered a bit of a set-back and I can understand how low that makes you feel.

I don't understand these setbacks either- (I get them too)they just seem to hit when you're exhausted and physically vulnerable through illness and stress and damn its very difficult to climb out of that hole!

But..... each day is a new day.

Try and focus on something positive each day even if you feel you are drowning in a sea of despair.

It could be something as small as a flowering snowdrop, that is surviving in a tiny patch of soil, despite all the odds.

But its there and its surviving and its growing- despite its struggle and circumstances.

Look how far you have come! Really!

You have pulled yourself up and embraced life again on more than one occasion and you will do again, this time.

First, focus on getting yourself physically well. Eat and exercise properly. Do things that you enjoy doing- even if its just re-watching an old movie.

When thoughts of your ex threaten to upset your equilibrium, meet your feelings head on and write it all down.

Its a great way of coping. Once you've finished writing, move on and do something else you like doing.

I'm not going to pretend that its easy to overcome blows to your self esteem that you have suffered, 'cos you and I both know its very difficult. But its not impossible.

You will never be the same Willow you were with your ex but you are evolving and changing all the time and in the not so distant future you will be a "different" Willow again ,from the sad place you find yourself in now, as you adapt and change to your personal circumstances.

Sorry if this sounds like a load of psycho-babble as that's not my intention.

Some people are capable of great love and caring and some people, quite frankly are s****!

I think you know which category that your ex(and mine!)fall into!

But he's no longer in your world.

When you feel better (and you will!)- pick yourself up and continue re-building again!

Many hugs:bunny::bunny:

 

Thank you Worly, I need to read this you are right I have pulled myself up time and time again and I will again this time, it's just I am so sick of having to do it. I just want to have to do it once and stay up there.

[willowthewisp]

Where is everyone today? It's really queit on here!

 

Just keep thinking about how he blantly lied to my face, whilst I was in despair, he hugged me and comforted me and lied to my face......

[Distant78]

Where is everyone today? It's really queit on here!

 

Just keep thinking about how he blantly lied to my face, whilst I was in despair, he hugged me and comforted me and lied to my face......

 

Forget him. I know the pain and when this is over you'll be even stronger. Just keep living. Do what you must do to pass each day and take care of yourself.

[tobydog1]

Willow,

 

I am always here for you! And I need your wise words too!

 

I know and appreciate the pain you are in, the lack of self esteem, the lies and betrayal from stbxh.

My story is different because I am entirely to blame for my marriage break up and feel such guilt. But on the other hand, my stbxh has many issues to work through which stem from his childhood.

 

Where are you in the UK? I am in Leeds......are you close enough to visit?

 

Pm me anytime if you want...

 

Take care

 

Dx

 

W Bear is always good to listen to as well, she has helped me a lot.

[willowthewisp]

Forget him. I know the pain and when this is over you'll be even stronger. Just keep living. Do what you must do to pass each day and take care of yourself.

 

Thanks Distant, but tell me how? PLEASE!

 

Willow,

 

I am always here for you! And I need your wise words too!

 

I know and appreciate the pain you are in, the lack of self esteem, the lies and betrayal from stbxh.

My story is different because I am entirely to blame for my marriage break up and feel such guilt. But on the other hand, my stbxh has many issues to work through which stem from his childhood.

 

Where are you in the UK? I am in Leeds......are you close enough to visit?

 

Pm me anytime if you want...

 

Take care

 

Dx

 

W Bear is always good to listen to as well, she has helped me a lot.

 

Thanks Tobydog, I'm not near Leeds I'm afraid, very long way away but thank you for the offer. I know your story and I don't see how you are entirely to blame for your H leaving and having an affair with another women? No one is to blame for his cheating except him.

[tobydog1]

Willow,

 

Take care and try to get a good night's sleep...

 

Where are you in the UK?

 

Love Debbie xxx

 

Always here for you! xxx

[willowthewisp]

Well, I've had it! I really don't know why I bother. Ex made me homeless, I was jobless, had to move back with family, one member of which emotionally abuses me, IC tells me I have to get out of this living environment as soon as possible because it is damaging me, I am displaying sighs and symptoms of being domestically abused. Can't afford to move out. I'm in school trying to get through the last stage of acedemic training for a profession so I can better my future.

 

So last week, during my exam week, I was sick. Turns out I may have messed up my entire future and there is nothing I can do about it.

 

I feel so hopeless. I am trying so hard, I work my a$$ off 15/16 hours a day and what for?

 

I hate my ex, I HATE HIM. My life is a shambles. I've endured being screamed and sworn at all morning by the abuser and he just carries on in his own sweet way, has a new fiance to keep his ego propped up. Still living in our home, quite comfy, good job, money, happiness while I struggle and am to be homeless come the summer.

 

Why am I f***** bothering.

[You Go Girl]

Willow,

 

Some weeks are hard, I know. You are fighting for your identity here. Realize it is a good fight, and one worth fighting for--yourself. You will get there. You will have trials along the way--expect them. A setback is only a setback until you act in the ways to help yourself again.

 

Talk to your professors if you missed something important. You know the drill. They will listen if your reasons are valid. Most will, if not all. If one professor simply refuses to budge, then realize it is only one class, and can be repeated. There are no absolutes where a bad semester ruins your entire life, it is just a setback if something goes wrong, it simply means more time will be needed to accomplish your goal.

 

I have difficult days and weeks and I have to tell myself over and over again lately--THE SKY IS NOT FALLING CHICKEN LITTLE!

 

I know some days or even weeks it feels like the sky is falling. It is ok, this too shall pass, and bad weeks will get better. You know there will be better weeks, as you have had bad weeks in the past and then things have improved.

Life doesn't improve overnight, you know this too. Life improves one day at a time, sometimes absolutely struggling to reach your goals, but you know they are worth fighting for--because it is a fight for yourself and your right to create a good life.

Patience. Keep doing what is right, and you will be rewarded. Do not doubt this. Your life isn't easy yet--it's still very difficult. But better times are coming to you if you keep your eyes on the goal and don't let yourself give up and think the sky is falling.

[willowthewisp]

Talk to your professors if you missed something important. You know the drill. They will listen if your reasons are valid. Most will, if not all. If one professor simply refuses to budge, then realize it is only one class, and can be repeated. There are no absolutes where a bad semester ruins your entire life, it is just a setback if something goes wrong, it simply means more time will be needed to accomplish your goal.

 

.

 

Unfortunately YGG that's exactly what it does mean, if I failed the exam I took whilst sick then because I have one resit i will not be able to be awarded a higher grade than a pass for the entire qualification even if I do better than that and attain a higher grade overall. That's how it is with the profession I am in I'm afraid, no second chances. A pass on my resume = no job interviews = no job.

[You Go Girl]

Then perhaps you can take the entire class over again so as to score better than a pass.

Willow, there are trials in life--but there are no death sentences, not even in the legal profession. You will find a way to succeed. There are no absolute failures, there are only disappointments and accepting sometimes that we have to settle for less than we had originally hoped for.

Either way, you still have yourself, a life to live, and you will find a way to make it a happier one. If it ends up less than ideal--well join the crowd--very few of us reach our ideals, but most of us find a way to be happy regardless.

[2sunny]

Steadfast, you're right about one thing, you are being over simplistic, people do generally want to be with the one they love, but not when the one they love puts the fear of god into them and causes overwhelming panic attacks because they are terrified of marriage! You don't know enough detail about my situation to make these comments. Whilst my IC cannot be in my ex's mind, he has gone over in detail with me evreything that happened in the last 20 years and analysed my ex's words and ACTIONS, my counsellor is over 60 years old and has been counselling for 40 years, personally I'm going to go with what he says rather than you.

 

You were not there and do not know enough detail, nor are you trained, you weren't there for example when my ex came back and told me he wasn't sure he had done the right thing and he missed me and loved me and then went again because he was having panic attacks so something wasn't right and that must be me and back again and went again and so on. He has a big problem, he has commitment phobia, that does not mean that he doesn't love me or that he never did.

 

Quite honestly your comments are really upsetting me and I would please ask you now to stop, do you realise you are making me so upset I am crying? Or perhaps that does not matter to you?

 

Carrot thank you for your kindness.

 

stop the denial - be HONEST with yourself. i've been you and i KNOW steadfast is correct. harm to self is tough to watch - YOU are ALLOWING him so much power... and considering not living anymore (yep, done that too). i was married 20 years...

 

when i took my power back - i was able to start living again. stop handing your ex ALL your power.

 

get busy living. the pity party can lead to death. death of your spirit has already happened - you allowed that too - time to find the spirit of you - the one that wants to be alive again. now get going... you have a lot to live for - stop wasting time = start moving forward! don't look back! life is ahead of you. let go of the past.

[You Go Girl]

Sunny,

 

Willow is having a true identity crisis here. Being with her ex for 20 years, she created her identity surrounding him. Now she has to fight the good fight for herself w/o him as part of her identity.

Compassion is in order here--she's struggling just as the title of the thread says. She is honest there.

 

You have an identity separate from him Willow--and you are creating a future, even if it is very difficult some days to feel you are succeeding at either of those things.

Be kind to yourself Willow, but also recognize it for what it is --a true identity crisis. Acknowledging that will help you to rediscover who you are w/o him, and also create a future. You have to be kind to yourself as you forge a path to your own identity.

[willowthewisp]

Then perhaps you can take the entire class over again so as to score better than a pass.

Willow, there are trials in life--but there are no death sentences, not even in the legal profession. You will find a way to succeed. There are no absolute failures, there are only disappointments and accepting sometimes that we have to settle for less than we had originally hoped for.

Either way, you still have yourself, a life to live, and you will find a way to make it a happier one. If it ends up less than ideal--well join the crowd--very few of us reach our ideals, but most of us find a way to be happy regardless.

 

YGG don't get me wrong, I know you mean well and i know you are trying to get me to be positive and I apprecaite, I really do, I feel so alone and hopeless right now.

 

OK so I need to explain how law works in the UK. You get 3 attempts in each exam, if you fail all 3 that's it FOR LIFE! If you fail one, just one on the first attempt, you cannot repeat the class, it's a once only thing, you can resit the exam BUT you can only be awarded a pass overall. So even if you achieve 90% in every other exam, you only get a 50% overall.

 

I know you are trying to make me feel better by saying it doesn't matter if I don't suceed, but that is too bitter a pill to swallow, I have worked so hard, you have no idea, seriously I can't tell you what it is like, I'm not kidding when I say i am doing 16 hour days and ahve been for the last two years! To have the chance taken away due to vomitting my guts up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WAY! I can't handle that, I just can't. I'm not implying anyone else doesn't work hard or that in some way this is worse for more or anything like that, but hell no this is too bitter to take.

[Yasuandio]

Does anyone here know anything about emotional neglect by a partner? I was reading about it the lat couple of days and I think I may have been subjected to it by my ex.

 

This is only my general definition of: ABANDONMENT and Patterns of Abandonment (presents in all sorts of forms (physical, PA, emotional, etc.) and degrees, for various lengths of time, and often designed for specific purposes (abuse, control, isolation, gas-lighting, stuff that generally, over time, can slowly causes the victim to become dependent on the abuser; and/or gradually cut the victim's ties to society and the outside world. Anyway, that's how it felt for me before I figured it out.)

Edited February 28, 2011 by Yasuandio

[willowthewisp]

This is only my general definition of: ABANDONMENT and Patterns of Abandonment (presents in all sorts of forms (physical, PA, emotional, etc.) and degrees, for various lengths of time, and often designed for specific purposes (abuse, control, isolation, gas-lighting, stuff that generally, over time, can slowly causes the victim to become dependent on the abuser; and/or gradually cut the victim's ties to society and the outside world. Anyway, that's how it felt for me before I figured it out.)

 

He worked 14 hour days, bought work home with him, when he was home he would spend hours upstairs playing video games. If I asked him to spend some time with me, watch a movie, he would but would often get up half way through and go back upstairs to play games again. If he took a vacation from work, he would bring work home to do on vacation. If he took a day off for our anniversary or a birthday he would bring work home to do the night before and get up at 4am to do it before I woke up, he thought this was OK because I was asleep but it meant he was tired and unattentive and grumpy all day.

 

He had many, many after work things with clients and conferences away from home (no he wasn't having an affair, really was work), he would think nothing of taking time off to go out with friends, but would never do it for us to spend time together. If I then complained about him going out with friends because I had barely spent any time with him, he would say that he spent all day Saturday with me. He would take me out on a Saturday to the mall, but would ignore me and text and answer emails all day whilst I looked around the shops.

 

Even when we did spend time together, it was like he was on another planet. I asked him to see the doctor at various times in our relationship bc I thought he was ADD, the doctor agreed but he would not go get assessed.

 

At various points in our relationship I would complain about the lack of time spent together and he would beg me not to leave him, he would change etc. He never did. I stopped complaining about 3 or 4 years before he left, I figured I had to accept it so I did.

 

If we reached a compromise, he would go behind my back and do what he had agreed not to anyway, then he would gaslight me and say he forget our agreement. I know from something he said after he left, this was deliberate and how he lives his life, lying to get his own way with no regard for anyone elses needs or feelings.

 

When he left, he told me he wanted someone he could see when he felt like it and that he wanted to go out with friends more, that I was too controlling and dependant on him bc I didn't work due to illness, that if I had been more independant I wouldn't have cared so much whether he was home or out and what he was doing. He made out my needs were unreasonable.

 

I don't know if this is neglect? Or whetehr this was part of his committment phobia, the need to withdraw, come close, withdraw, push/pull. Then I constantly self blame and think was I unreasonable, was this my fault did I make unreasonable demands on his time. This the low self esteem problem I have, self blame, everything in my family life is my fault, nothing is good enough and I strive to be perfect, never attaining it, bc I can't, but never being accepted for being me, never being good enough.

[Yasuandio]

There is a chart that diagrams all the dimensions of "Mental-Abuse/Control" as well as it's effects. I think that chart and the definitions in that area may serve you better.

 

Certainly, you were alone even though you were in a relationship, and your emotional needs were not met. In that respect, you were abandoned. Why don't you look up the term"Narcissist" after you study the MentalAbuse-Control Chart and related definitions. See if it rings a bell, and me know what you think of those materials. Hope this helps.

[tojaz]

Willow, set yourself free! I read your posts, and see you looking, analyzing anything and everything you can trying to put the pieces together, trying to define what has happened.... correction, WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO YOU!

 

That only goes so far though, questions lead to answers and answers invariably lead to more questions. Its torture, thats all that it can be described as is self torture. None of us know were subjecting ourselves to it, but we all do.

 

Heres why. We love them! Love by its very nature is the ability to see past fault. I'll say it right now, I love my ex-wife. Almost been 2 years since I've laid eyes on her and I can say that with as much honesty as i have in my soul. Unfortunately, that woman is lost, not to be held by me or anyone else ever again. The body, the face, the eyes, the hair, are just a short drive form me, but if I knocked on that door, the woman that answered wouldn't be my wife.

 

Your ex had a lot of great qualities Willow, thats why you were with him for so long! You cant deny that. Unfortunately and for whatever reason, people change and its not always for the better. Yet, we have so many fond memories, good times, and love, this is what we see. At least thats what i want to see when I think of my ex, the sweet caring girl, the poetry writer, the artist, i could go on for days if I cared to, but then you place that memory into the context of the woman who throws things, who is capable of saying the most callous and hurtful things I could ever imagine being said, the woman who lies,cheats, and uses people. Of course it doesn't make any sense!!!! How could it! Even if it did, it wouldn't remove the scars anyway.

 

So Willow, instead of desperately seeking reason, set yourself free. Forgive your ex for what was beyond his control, lay the blame on the man that left and keep them seperate because a good memory still has much value. Its learning to cherish what was good and healing from what was bad, and most of all GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE HAPPY!

What he did does not define you Willow, IT DEFINES HIM! End of story, don't waste another thought. he deserves the life thats coming to him, and you deserve a whole lot more than he has to offer anyone now.

 

Willow, I'm not sure you believe this in yourself, but i would hope you can believe me when I say these things....

You were a good partner, a good fiance'. You ARE a good woman, you deserve to be loved and cherished by a man that is worthy of what you have to offer, and some day when your wounds have healed you will be. You are strong enough, smart enough, capable enough to go it alone though. You don't need someone in your life, the person who will eventually take that spot will earn it and for the right reasons, you are so much more then just an accessory to whom ever stands beside you.

You did nothing wrong, and nothing to deserve what was handed to you.

Most importantly, you have a right and deserve to be happy.

I believe all these things Willow, So should you.

Set your self free! Big hug Willow

 

TOJAZ

[willowthewisp]

I have come to the conclusion that there are a lot of ***** in this world and my ex was one of them. Good ridance to bad rubbish and I will NEVER allow myself to be hurt like that again, because I will never put myself in that position again, from now on it's me, myself and I, never again will I allow a man to get near me, NEVER.

 

Edit- as a side note it seems all you guys want is a b1tch anyway from the way you all go on about the absolute cows that some of you are married to on here and yet you all still want them back, well from now on that's me, give em what they want, seems that if you treat a man well, you get s*** on, but treat em like c*** and they still want you even though there are women, genuine, loving, caring women out there no one wants! So from now on I'll be the b1tch that you all seem to want, but to get what I want for a change, like I said NEVER again will a man get near me emotionally.

Edited March 2, 2011 by willowthewisp