michaelhopes Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 How do you suggest that I bring this up without mentioning the credit card statement? The total honesty thing is admirable but I'm pretty sure, like a boomerang, it will come back and bite you in the arse. For most men it doesnt matter if they have nothing to hide. But for most unmarried women you will have crossed a line, whether or not she has done something wrong or not. Just look at the reaction youre getting on this thread. Dont add more coals to the fire if you dont have to. Link to post Share on other sites
Penney Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 What caused me to look at her internet history is the Plan B search. It is a red flag, look at my initial post in this thread. I know but your explanation of how you stumbled on the Plan B search is what I was questioning. Did you try to get access to her emails, too or were those password protected? Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 30, 2010 Author Share Posted December 30, 2010 I know but your explanation of how you stumbled on the Plan B search is what I was questioning. Did you try to get access to her emails, too or were those password protected? When you begin to type a search in google, it shows what you have searched for that beings with that letter. I typed in P, because I was checking to see if all of the keys were working. When I typed P in, google showed that Plan B was searched. Go and google autocomplete if you don't understand my explanation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 30, 2010 Author Share Posted December 30, 2010 The total honesty thing is admirable but I'm pretty sure, like a boomerang, it will come back and bite you in the arse. For most men it doesnt matter if they have nothing to hide. But for most unmarried women you will have crossed a line, whether or not she has done something wrong or not. Just look at the reaction youre getting on this thread. Dont add more coals to the fire if you dont have to. The way I see it, if the Visa thing comes back to bite me in the ass then it was probably for a good reason. This is a situation that can either make or break the relationship. If my girlfriend truly loves me, she will do anything in her power to make me trust her again. My girlfriend needs to know that she lied by omission. I want an open and honest relationship, if she can't provide me with that, then I will leave her because I deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Jannah Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 The way I see it, if the Visa thing comes back to bite me in the ass then it was probably for a good reason. This is a situation that can either make or break the relationship. If my girlfriend truly loves me, she will do anything in her power to make me trust her again. My girlfriend needs to know that she lied by omission. I want an open and honest relationship, if she can't provide me with that, then I will leave her because I deserve better. Er, no. She didn't lie by ommission. If she lied after you asked her about it, and it was in fact hers, then she would have flat out lied - period. Link to post Share on other sites
Author teardrop86 Posted December 30, 2010 Author Share Posted December 30, 2010 You're right Jannah. Link to post Share on other sites
Penney Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 When you begin to type a search in google, it shows what you have searched for that beings with that letter. I typed in P, because I was checking to see if all of the keys were working. When I typed P in, google showed that Plan B was searched. Go and google autocomplete if you don't understand my explanation. I understand autocomplete, but if all you wanted to know was whether or not all the keys were working, why not open notepad and type them? I think you purposefully were looking at the search history and her emails if you could get access to them. You have been cheated on in 2 past relationships. This is why you snooped. We will see how this plays out, but I fear your lack of trust in her because of what other people did to you in the past may ruin this relationship. Maybe she did cheat. I don't know, but I hope the answer is no. Good luck on Saturday. Link to post Share on other sites
Penney Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 I further have read that it is dangerous and could do damage to the uteran wall which is why you can buy it only 3 times. I don't know the accuracy of this, but if it is true, that would explain why she would need to buy it for someone else - they had already bought it 3 times and needed someone else to buy it for them. Link to post Share on other sites
homebrew Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Good God!!!! Let me cut through all the pity nonsense and put it in plain english for everyone to understand. THE SITUATION: The OP believes his GF could / may have cheated. THE PROBLEM: This relationship is not based on trust. Whether she cheated or not, does not matter! Who in their RIGHT MIND would want to be in a committed relationship with someone they believe could / would be unfaithful and cheat? The CORRECT answer: Nobody THE RELATIONSHIP WAS OVER THE MINUTE THE OP BELIEVED HIS GF COULD / MAY HAVE CHEATED! THE SOLUTION: BREAK UP WITH HER, GO FIND SOMEONE THAT YOU CAN FULLY TRUST AND SOMEONE THAT YOU KNOW / BELIEVE WILL NEVER CHEAT ON YOU! What she did or didn't do, how he found out about said pill, if she lied, the purpose of the pill, whether or not she is being falsely accused... is pointless to argue! The TRUTH and the FACTS of the situation are irrelevant. The OP is not sure she has remained faithful... It does not matter how he came to this conclusion or whether it is true or not. It was over the minute the OP believed she could / may have cheated. A relationship has to be built on trust! For WHATEVER reason, the trust is gone (I suspect it was never there to begin with) in this situation. The relationship is OVER! Link to post Share on other sites
Penney Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 THE SOLUTION: BREAK UP WITH HER, GO FIND SOMEONE THAT YOU CAN FULLY TRUST AND SOMEONE THAT YOU KNOW / BELIEVE WILL NEVER CHEAT ON YOU! The problem with your solution is that he won't find anyone he can fully trust because he is letting trust issues from past relationships infect his current relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
homebrew Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 The problem with your solution is that he won't find anyone he can fully trust because he is letting trust issues from past relationships infect his current relationship. Regardless, This RELATIONSHIP IS OVER! Link to post Share on other sites
FryFish Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Obviously you don't understand how this medication works. You have 72 hours to take it. That's 3 days. I believe the OP said that they had had sex within the 3 day window the medicine would be effective. Followed the thread from the beginning and NO the OP did NOT have sex with her within that window. But the OP's gf DID go out and get ****faced within that window... Penney, quit with this bunk about his girlfriends right to secrecy. When two people are in a relationship there are a couple things that are no longer just the girls business: 1. Everyone she is having sex with 2. How she is handling birth control... granted, this only applies if she is having sex with BF. "Why is her choice in birth control no longer just her business?" asked the dim girls. Well, because she isnt the only person responsible if a baby is conceived. Link to post Share on other sites
homebrew Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 FryFish, Penney looks at the situation from her point of view only... Let's put HER in a GUY situation and see what she would think / feel / what she would do. Any GUY on the planet knows what a girl would do in the situation I describe below... If Penney says otherwise, she is full of crap! _________________________________________________________________ You and your BF had a wild night last night and used the last condom... BF has a drunken night out on the town the next night... You come over to his place and see new box of condoms in drawer... Box of condoms are open with one missing... Would you ask him where the missing condom is? You see Fellows... My little EXAMPLE above debunks the girls whole theory Put her in the MALE version of her contraception argument... She would HAVE NOT RIGHT AND WOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO WONDER / THINK / CONSIDER and HOW DARE SHE THINK TO ASK ANY OF THE FOLLOWING: 1. When did BF her buy the condoms? 2. Was it during the day... before his night out on the town? T 3. Did him buy them on his way home? 4. Did him buy them the next day after breakfast? 5. Where is the missing condom? 6. Did he use it on another girl? 7. Did a roommate take one? 8. Did he use it when he was spanking the monkey because he didn't want to soil his sheets? 9. Do you think she would go looking for said used condom? 10 Will she look in her BF's bathroom... 11. They roommates bathroom? 12 Do you think she would ask boyfriend when he purchased the box of condoms? 13. Do you think she might want to verify that with the actual time of the purchase with the credit card slip? I could go on and on... A box of condoms and one is missing... It could be a bad thing... It could be nothing... A simple question and a simple answer could clear it all up. Too bad she is not allowed to ask... She will just have to wonder / guess because it is a MAN and his contraceptives that we are talking about and that IS VERY, VERY PERSONAL and GF's have NO RIGHT TO KNOW OR ASK! PERIOD THE END! Link to post Share on other sites
Kinder-Horror Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Too bad she is not allowed to ask... She will just have to wonder / guess because it is a MAN and his contraceptives that we are talking about and that IS VERY, VERY PERSONAL and GF's have NO RIGHT TO KNOW OR ASK! PERIOD THE END! hahaha. Awesome. And true. The whole contraception being private is ridiculous. It takes two people to make a baby, thus those two people should be able to talk about prevention methods, such as condoms or even *gasp* the Plan B pill. If they can't be adult enough to discuss, they shouldn't even be together. So that whole privacy about contraception thing is a non-issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Penney Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Penney, quit with this bunk about his girlfriends right to secrecy. Point out something in one of my posts where I said anything even remotely like that please. Link to post Share on other sites
ComputerJock Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Teardrop86: Remember, what ever happens with you and your girlfriend LS is here with help to support you. Feel free to ask any questions or for advice. Everyone here comes on the offer advice and hope. Most have been through what you are going through, doubts about their SOs fidelity, or they have cheated themselves. What ever happens use this experience as a learning experience that will make you stronger and wiser. I hope you find out she didn't cheat, if she did it is better to find out early than after a few years of marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Obviously you don't understand how this medication works. You have 72 hours to take it. That's 3 days. I believe the OP said that they had had sex within the 3 day window the medicine would be effective. I am actually well aware of how it works. It is most effective within 12-24 hours, and after that the efficacy drops considerably. It is totally ineffective after 72 hours, but yes, it is still a little effective at 72 hours. Yes, it is possible that she missed a pill a couple days after having sex with the boyfriend and then thought, oh, had better take a plan b. But... it isn't likely. OP, it's actually fairly important for you to remember when you guys last had sex. For yourself, not for us! If it was more than 72 hours prior to the purchase of Plan B, it is not related to the sex she had with you. The thing is, though, if she had taken it because of missing a pill, worrying about the antibiotics making her pill ineffective, etc., she probably would have told you when you asked about the Plan B search. The only reason in my head that she'd deny knowledge of it would be if she has something to hide. Link to post Share on other sites
Penney Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I am actually well aware of how it works. It is most effective within 12-24 hours, and after that the efficacy drops considerably. It is totally ineffective after 72 hours, but yes, it is still a little effective at 72 hours. You don't know what you are talking about. At 72 hours, it still decreases the chances of getting pregnant by 89% (from 8% to 1%) compared to not doing anything. Yes, it decreases the chances of getting pregnant more if taken within 24 hours but that is a far cry from saying it is only a little effective at 72 hours. Get your facts straight or shut up. http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/features/plan-b-11-questions-11-answers Link to post Share on other sites
Nlelith Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I am actually well aware of how it works. It is most effective within 12-24 hours, and after that the efficacy drops considerably. It is totally ineffective after 72 hours, but yes, it is still a little effective at 72 hours. That doesn't even make sense. That's like saying it is a little effective for 72 hrs, but once we hit that 73 hr mark it loses it's effectiveness completely. But it is kind of obvious you don't know much about Plan B since earlier you stated: I don't honestly think I've ever heard Plan B referred to as backup. It's really unlikely that someone would use it as backup relating to sex that was had with the boyfriend several days ago. It's called Plan B for a reason. From the Plan B website: Plan B One-Step™ is the only emergency contraception that is just one pill. Other emergency contraception requires two pills, 12 hours apart. It is a backup method of preventing pregnancy—and is not for routine use. It can reduce the chance of pregnancy when taken as directed up to 72 hours (3 days) after unprotected sex (if your regular birth control method fails, or if you've had sex without birth control). Btw, it is also known as the Back Up Pill: Emergency contraception is also known as the morning-after pill, emergency birth control, backup birth control, and by the brand names Plan B One-Step, ella, and Next Choice. ^ From Planned Parenthood. Link to post Share on other sites
USCGAviator Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Plan B needs a new thread Link to post Share on other sites
Penney Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Plan B needs a new thread No it doesn't. All of this is relevant to the putative deception. The OP has admitted that it is possible that he had intercourse with her within the 72 hour time frame but can't remember for sure. I bet you she can remember for sure - hence the difference between her and him. Link to post Share on other sites
USCGAviator Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 No it doesn't. All of this is relevant to the putative deception. The OP has admitted that it is possible that he had intercourse with her within the 72 hour time frame but can't remember for sure. I bet you she can remember for sure - hence the difference between her and him. It's not as relevant as you think....only thats its a contraceptive. The real relevance here is that OP's gf bought plan b on her credit card and lied about knowing what plan B even was. So regardless of the sex they did or did not have the OP has stated she denies even KNOWING what the hell plan B is. Listen closely....SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.....SO WHY WOULD SHE PURCHASE SOMETHING NOT KNOWING WHAT IT IS?????? I guess you can derail the real issue all you want, but it sounds like you might need to make a new thread on contraceptives Link to post Share on other sites
michaelhopes Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 There is another possibility that we havent argued to death yet..... All it takes to order anything you want online is the credit card number. I had some creepy roommates in college that would have no problem stealing a credit card number and ordering whatever they wanted. A quick peek at the card number and exp. date and youre in business Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 I haven't read the whole thread, it would take me days, but I did get through the majority of it. My opinion is this: What it comes down to, is to what degree of a liar you are willing to deal with. Yes, I understand that some things need to be kept personal. However, when it comes down to something as serious as cheating, you need to fess up to whatever it is. The fact is that your girlfriend isn't as holy as she may seem. She lied to you about the fact that she had no clue what Plan B was (as made evident by the purchase on her Visa card). Regardless of what she bought it for, she knew what it was, and told you she didn't. She even made it sound like she was telling the truth, which IMO, leads me to believe she's a good liar. That's just my opinion, though. Also, I remember in the beginning of the thread you said she has a very hard time keeping secrets? If she did buy it for her friend, don't you think she would have told you? At the end of the day, she lied to you. Yes, there is a *tiny* chance that this whole thing was a conspiracy, but it is highly unlikely. It is up to you to decide whether you are able to deal with a liar, regardless of what the outcome may be. If she can lie about this, who knows what else she is capable of lying about. Just my two cents, for what it's worth. Link to post Share on other sites
michaelhopes Posted December 31, 2010 Share Posted December 31, 2010 Devil's advocate here...... A couple of years ago my girlfriend's credit card number was stolen. I figured it out because it was a joint business account. The card was stopped about $1000.00 later in fraudulent charges. She would have never caught it because she didnt pay attention to the charges. Do you know that the Plan B was shipped to her house? Were there any other weird charges on the card? Now our fraud adventure didnt include Plan B on the statement..It's a long shot I know.....I'm just saying.... The truth will come out on Saturday....unless she's a masterful liar....or you refuse to take off the rose colored glasses Link to post Share on other sites
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