Eye of Hourus Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 OP, At this time I would not be aceeding to her perverse desires in order to "heal" your marriage. In fact you could find yourself on the receiving end of a DV complaint and out of the house. Stick to your guns The Eye Time wounds all heels - Anon
Fritz Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 OP, At this time I would not be aceeding to her perverse desires in order to "heal" your marriage. In fact you could find yourself on the receiving end of a DV complaint and out of the house. Stick to your guns The Eye Time wounds all heels - Anon Wise words. BDSM is neat and all but with domestic violence laws these days, there are few women I'd trust not to use it against me if the relationship soured. Its certainly not really an option to rebuild the marriage when your spouse is out on the town partying with her single friends and bdsm mentors and bragging publicly on facebook about her orgasms. Best of luck OP.
whammy Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 any update(s) on whats going in this situation lately?
Author losttoerotica Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 No major updates. Court date is set for January 24th. That is just the initial conference with the judge. This weekend was good. We've remained amicable. My oldest had her 8th b-day party on Friday, we went snow tubing as a family. Like I said, she's become a completely different person once I served her papers but we will not reconcile. I cannot trust. She restarted her facebook page and friended my alias. I had a conversation with her in which she said she "hated" me (as her husband). So now the fireworks begin on the 24th. We shall see how amicable things remain after that. I have a very strong legal claim on the house so it will be difficult for her to force me to move out, but you never know what judges do. Ultimately now it is just a waiting game. More to come later.
YellowShark Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Like I said, she's become a completely different person once I served her papers but we will not reconcile. I cannot trust. She restarted her facebook page and friended my alias. I had a conversation with her in which she said she "hated" me (as her husband). What a cow. One face for you... and her REAL™ face to your Facebook "alias." No wonder you don't trust her. The truth shall set you free losttoerotica!
imagine Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Never believe a WW mouth. Right now she is addicted to OM. There are many apologies from XWW on this site. Continue to behave honourably. She is looking for ammunition against you. I look to hear from you after the 24th.
Binster Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 I hope your going to show evidence of your wife's behavior to the court. After all she's going to have relationships with some odd guys and they presumably will be in your exwifes house at some time therby coming into contact with your kids. This could help you get 100% custody (sure would if I were a judge). Also when the case is over, if you dont get 100% custody I'd be showing this stuff to your inlaws and asking them to look out for the kids while they are in your wife's care.
collegeguy_24 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Todays the day isn't it? The day of the first court hearing. I don't know if you'll see this before your court hearing, but I wanted to wish you luck, as I'm sure everyone whose been watching this thread does as well. Keep us updated as to what happened and we may be able to help, even if its just mental and emotional support.
Author losttoerotica Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 okay everyone. Thanks for the well wishes. Court date this morning. I had a long talk with my lawyer on Friday. He pretty much told me that the best I could do is 50/50 (three other lawyers told me this as well). The main reason is that she has not (YET) harmed the children. She has been a stay at home mom. So here was my dilemma, on Saturday night my psycho soon to be ex wife suggested dinner so we went. She brought up the concept of 50/50. I thought about it, talked to my attorney on Saturday night and ultimately we agreed to that. Not the ideal solution but here is where it is good - 1. She WILL go back to work. She has a BS in Management and when she has the kids she'll be too tired between maintaining her home, taking care of the kids and working that nothing bad will come of it. 2. Given where I live (Minnesota) and the fact that it is a very liberal state, had I gone for full custody the court will have seen the kids are still healthy and looked after. As my attorney put it - even with the evidence, the chances of getting full custody were less that 10%. 3. We've agreed to a parent consultant that if there is ever any concern by either party we work it through them. 4. By agreeing to this now, we saved ourselves (and the kids) a lot of emotional pain, we saved time and money as well (custody fight would have probably cost close to $100K combined). Ideally not the best situation, but the girls also need their mother. I believe, that she will "wake up" and actually she has already done so. I hope it continues. Now we have financial matters to sort out. That will take time as I have a lot of pre-marital assets that my wife is not willing to acknowledge. Unfortunately we need to continue living together for now. But this is a heavy burden off my shoulders. Again, not ideal, but probably the best I was going to get. The girls are old enough that if she exposes them to something bad I will drag her ass back to court so quickly and then all will come out. I'm keeping ALL the evidence and still have access to her facebook so I can see if something fishy is going on.
imagine Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Ideally not the best situation, but the girls also need their mother. I believe, that she will "wake up" and actually she has already done so. I hope it continues. I take it you are talking about the caring of the girls and not about the marriage? Has her behaviour to you improved?
Binster Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Nice one on your result, I think it's quite a lot better than you would have got in the UK. As you say, see how much time and energy she has for her new hobby once she's a working mum and having to balance a few bills. Do your wife's family and friends know anything about her behavior or is she keeping all this under wraps. All the best, good luck on the financial side.
Author losttoerotica Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 imagine - she's become a model mother again. Of course I know it was just after the papers were filed but ultimately if this is how she behaves when the divorce is final then so it is good for them. She can go get screwed over by 10 guys at time in bondage clothing for all I care as long as the girls are protected. To me - she's being civil. Which is okay. When the girls are around we are around each other. When they are asleep we live apart. 4000 square foot home helps!
What_Next Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Wow, I admire your patience. If I were in your shoes I'm not sure she'd be walking without a limp (kidding of course). I also admire your willingness to show compassion in terms of your children needing their mother. Don't let that cloud your need to protect them from whatever she is going to let into her life. If she chooses this road, then so be it. Let her go down that road ALONE. Good luck and gods speed. Your story still brings chills to me when I read it.
Author losttoerotica Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Well, with the kids issue resolved I am making a financial settlement offer tomorrow. Hopefully there are few points to discuss and she will accept and we can all move on and live happily ever after (apart from the freak). Will let you know how it goes.
collegeguy_24 Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 we are here for you buddy when you need us.
imagine Posted February 11, 2011 Posted February 11, 2011 I calculated the house size in meters. 370sqm is a lot of house. What will you do after the divorce? Will you move house?
Author losttoerotica Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 I plan to stay in the house in the short term. Two reasons - 1. The kids. They can have familiar surroundings at least 50% of the time. They know their bedrooms, their play room and where they grew up. 2. I pay her less in alimony. One of the key factors is determining how much I can pay is my ability to do so. By having a big mortgage it limits how much I can pay her. Ultimately I will sell it. Way too large for a single dad who has his kids half time but I want to do it when I am ready to to, not because I am forced to by her.
imagine Posted February 15, 2011 Posted February 15, 2011 Can you rent the rooms out after the divorce proceedings?
Author losttoerotica Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 So I had the neutral financial review yesterday. OMG I married the stupidest woman alive. She tentatively agreed to an arrangement that is WORSE than what I proposed. LOL. I may have to put her up thru May in the house but it could be worse. I won't rent the rooms out. The house has four rooms. One for me and the girls each have their own room. There is a small guest bedroom in the basement. If anything I will do some consulting on the side during the off weeks to help make ends meet.
collegeguy_24 Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Well I guess its good for you she is an idiot when it comes to finances lol. Its good to hear from you man, I've been wandering for some time how you've been doing. How are you and your daughters holding up by the way?
Author losttoerotica Posted February 17, 2011 Author Posted February 17, 2011 The girls are doing great really. Thanks for asking. I think it will hit them when the day comes that she moves out. But for now they are managing well enough. I'm doing much better too. You guys have all been great. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am so thankful to have all you anonymous friends to support. Thanks!!!!
Binster Posted February 17, 2011 Posted February 17, 2011 Nice one mate. For once it's paying off that you married a dingbat. Good luck stay posting on how it goes.
Author losttoerotica Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 Sorry tor the lateness. Not much to update. She's scrambling. She's such an idiot when it comes to money she has fired her attorney and hired a more expensive one. We are still living together. That is not pleasant. The kids are doing well though. No major issues there. Will update more when I have something significant. Conf call with the judge on Monday so I'm going to ask for a trial. We had three deals already and she backed out on all the three of them. She's just delaying things.
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