imagine Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Sara - you asked twice...here are the answers. 1. I am Catholic (yes....criticize me all, but that is my religion). 2. She want to get raped, use household items and/or multiple toys. 3. She continues to go to bondage shows and wants to participate 4. She eluded to an "open" marriage 5. She told me she wants to be with women My own sexual needs are not fulfilled. Sex is virtually non-existent. If only she would be willing to do some of what she writes about. Not so though. Why would one criticize you for being Catholic? Her behavior regarding points 2-5 is diabolic. Pray for her. Expose her. Remove her from your kids - initiate legal proceedings. She is dragging the marriage down. Get details to prove that she is an unfit mother. Do not reveals your sources or EVER warn her what you are going to do.
karnak Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Losttoerotica: Don't blame yourself for nothing of this.Nothing you did caused all this sort of mess. My opinion (and I think some people here will agree with me) is that you're now looking at the true, twisted colours of your wife. When she reached adulthood she decided she wanted to try the married woman/stable family way of life. Now that she's older, more secure and confident with herself she decided to give free reign to her fantasies. This would happen sooner or later. I'm sorry, but I don't think she'll really change, because I guess this is what she's always dreamed for herself. If you get divorced she'll probably engage in a life of wild sex way until her senior years (plenty of mature women doing that nowadays - lots of crazy guys to help them on that subject out there). Stay strong, man. Your biggest priority in life are your kids now. Look at it this way: you were probably duped into marrying a pervert. No shame in that. Happens all the time, unfortunately, to men and women both. Fight for your kids. They don't deserve this mess.
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 her friends are a very big influence too. does she have single female friends her age? i had an ex who was influenced by friends saying it's so cool to do this and that but only if your single etc,they were miserable because no guy wanted to be with them so they just took the frustrations out by drinking,sex and swinging etc and she wanted the same thing to be raped by me etc,which i didn't really mind ,i like crazy sex and gave it to her good,but when she mentioned swinging,i figured i can't just grow a few d...s and satisfy her,so i left her this sexual tension will get out of control,she wants swinging,bondage,rape,torture etc it will get worse trust me get out while you can
homebrew Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 (edited) I am a very strong Christian man but I have to tell you... Churches have warped / confused people about what the bible has to say about sex. They seem to be more concerned about drilling into our head at an early age that sex is bad, dirty or dangerous. They do this with the hope that it will scare / prevent the person from having premarital sex. They go this route instead of just helping the person learn and understand what the bible really has to say about why / the benefits of waiting till marriage are. This creates an environment where sex is not to be discussed and God forbid if you actually are open, honest and admit the fact you desire or "lust" after your soon to be wife / husband. It also creates an environment where in a relationship (let's just assume it's husband and wife for the sake of the argument) they do not feel comfortable being 100% open and honest about what "does it for them" for fear of judgement from their spouse. I have been in countless bible studies with men where most if not all struggled with porn. Why? Because they could not live out or share their NORMAL RUN OF THE MILL "fantasies" with their wifes (the women that they loved). They were afraid that they were "wrong" or "sinning" because they didn't think they should feel / have those desires. Question: 1. Who made them that way and gave them that desire? 2. Which is worst, "sinning" by living out those desires with women other than their wife through porn? or "sinning" with the women they love under the sanctity of marriage? 3. As long as it is just between you and your wife and you both are okay with it... There are no RULES aside from what is listed in Leviticus. (I posted it below) Don't believe me? Tell me where in the bible what is okay to do while dating? Are you suppose to stop a first base, second base, third base? You cannot find a verse (aside from waiting to have sex until you are married) that will tell you otherwise. WHY? Because why might be a sin for you may not be a sin for others. So people are lead (by God) to stop a third base, second or first. Heck, I knew a couple that waited to kiss until they were married... Guess what... There was nothing wrong with them. But if they judged you for going to second base with your future wife... Was it a sin? Of course not! So the point it this... You and your church created an environment where your wife could not / did not feel comfortable being true to her God given sexual desires. Therefore she repressed them for this long and she cannot live the lie any more and is acting more like a high schooler than anything. (Although I think in time she will calm down.) If your wife (who you love and loves you) desires and wants you to TAKE IT FROM HER... Tell me where in the bible it says that is wrong? Where do you think that desire comes from? It's from God! Who are you to tell God that His creation is WRONG for having that desire? He gave that to them... Are you better than God? If your wife wants to stick a banana or a sex toy in any one of her holes... Tell me where in the bible it says that is wrong? Where do you think that desire comes from? It's from God! Who are you to tell God that His creation is WRONG for having that desire? He gave that to them... Are you better than God? There is NOTHING wrong with you and your wife living out each others sexual fantasies as long as it is between the two of you. God gave us this precious gift (SEX) that is to be SHARED and ENJOY between two people that love one another. She is wanting you to man up and meet her desires and needs... As long as it is between you and her, who gives a flip. If my wife got her jollies off of me wearing a diaper... I would much rather me be wearing it than her finding someone else that will. Get OVER YOURSELF! Stop being judgmental and part of the problem and focus on serving (the bible tells a man to serve his wife) your wife, who happens to love you. Think of it this way... you desire for her to be a wonderful wife and mother to your children don't you? Seems to be she has done an awesome job up to this point. If she wants you to spank her a55 or talk dirty to her or take it from her... I strongly suggest you do so. One, it's not wrong. Two, she wants you too and is communicating a desire and need out of LOVE and TRUST. Quit making her feel like a whore for being normal... She isn't! She is your loving, caring and nurturing wife! Is she a little overboard right now? Sure... Why don't you have unfulling sex for 10 years and see how you would behave and act for awhile. She will settle down in time... Be a MAN, BE A MAN OF GOD and ROCK YOUR WOMENS WORLD! You do that... your trust in one another will grow, your love for one another will grow! Let's not mention, that your kids will see the joys and the benefits of a what a vibrant, healthy and happy marriage are. Plus they see all the joys and benefits of waiting to be married before having sex too. The Rules according to the Bible: Leviticus 18: 6 - 23 6 “‘No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD. 7 “‘Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her. 8 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father. 9 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere. 10 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter; that would dishonor you. 11 “‘Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father; she is your sister. 12 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s sister; she is your father’s close relative. 13 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your mother’s sister, because she is your mother’s close relative. 14 “‘Do not dishonor your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt. 15 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife; do not have relations with her. 16 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonor your brother. 17 “‘Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness. 18 “‘Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living. 19 “‘Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period. 20 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her. 21 “‘Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molek, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD. 22 “‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable. 23 “‘Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion. Edited December 14, 2010 by homebrew
YellowShark Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 this sexual tension will get out of control,she wants swinging,bondage,rape,torture etc it will get worse trust me get out while you can EXACTLY. Unless she gets immediate help losttoerotica your wife is headed down a dangerous path. Her urge to be raped, use household items, have an open marriage, and get into bondage IS NOT what you signed up for when you married her. That she does those things to herself now while she is watching the kids and then posting the images on Facebook is enough evidence that the woman you married is not the woman who lives with you today. Frankly I would have to ask myself is all this worth fixing, or walking away from. Personally I would walk away and find another woman who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. Best of luck.
collegeguy_24 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 OK, dude, we are not going to critizie your religion here, if we want to we can go to the rants and rave section for that. But here, we are doing our best to help you. YOU! What you need to do is simple: DO NOT LEAVE! make her leave the house and the kids and go somewhere else, either her parents, friends, etc. But you stay, it is your house, you keep the kids. You get an attorney, a bull dog attorney and you show them everything and tell them everything. Change the locks on your house. Cancel any and all joint credit cards and bank accounts. Give her nothing! I know from your religious standpoint and from the tone of your posts you do not want to do this, but dude, at this point divorce is INEVITABLE! Start the proceedings and go for shock and awe! Either she will wake up when she sees you are serious and stop what shes doing or she won't. Because right now you are nothing but a door mat to her. I am sorry to be so blunt and cruel but thats how it is.
homebrew Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 You people have it all wrong... Man up and take care of your women. Seek counselling together and all the other crap that she now is into will stop. Try going ten years without your women "taking care of business" and see where your state of mind would be! You would not have made it 3 I bet! She deserves a medal for lasting 10! You are not helping the situation and you are only making her want to be "worse" by making her feel dirty / like a whore. Which SIN is worse in your eyes? Divorce or taking care of your wifes needs and desires that she has been asking you to man up for? Which one do you think God would want you to do? Pray about it, pick one and go with it. Geesh!
Author losttoerotica Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 "man up" to stick a broom handle in wife or go to a bondage club, watch her naked on stage while some chick spanks her with leather straps. That's not "manning up", that's just sick in my mind. Yeah, this is done. Here is what she posted on Sunday when she was making sugar cookies with the kids. I had to sprint upstairs to make sure she this was not serious and this was not a cookie she made. Omg! My snowman is poking Santa Claus in the ass with his broom and Santa is smiling! What a sick fk! Lmao! Mmmmm more wine!
sally4sara Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Sara - you asked twice...here are the answers. 1. I am Catholic (yes....criticize me all, but that is my religion). 2. She want to get raped, use household items and/or multiple toys. 3. She continues to go to bondage shows and wants to participate 4. She eluded to an "open" marriage 5. She told me she wants to be with women My own sexual needs are not fulfilled. Sex is virtually non-existent. If only she would be willing to do some of what she writes about. Not so though. Going out - 10/2 10/12 10/19 11/5 11/12 11/13 11/14 11/19-22 we went out of town else she may have gone out. 11/25-28 Thanksgiving weekend....she spent 4 hrs with the family on Thanksgiving day. 11/30 12/9 12/17 (planning to) 12/18 (planning to) Need more Why would you think I'm wanting to come down on you about your religion? I just didn't know what it was. I could only go by the religion I was raised; one with a bible that doesn't speak against bondage or certain acts between a husband and wife as being a sin. There is nothing sinful about bondage, toys, or role playing. If you have certain acts you want sexually, I'm not sure how any of the ones she wants that are between just you two should be ignored by you if you don't want her ignoring your wants. As for the open marriage thing - that fraudulent. You marry under one set of expectations and then 8 years you want to toss out monogamy? Time for some marital counseling. That's a pretty busy entertainment schedule. Perhaps you should take up a hobby too so she has to shave it down and allow you your time out too? Maybe the two of you have just got in a rut of being homebodies? Hire a sitter. Start having a regular date night. And stop thinking just because I'm not jumping in the bandwagon to call your wife a whore that I'm wanting to ridicule your religion.
sally4sara Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 O I get it. I just went through the thread and it seems I'm the only female? talking an interest so that must mean I'm out to blame you and your religion? Eff it. I'm tired of that **** on here. I honestly just thought you were a troll because I couldn't imagine you enjoying all the "your wife is a whore" stuff if you had any love in your heart for the woman. So I asked questions. Little did I know it was a sausage party. Carry on with your witch hunt as I don't see any reason to believe you will do anything but seek your godly divorce. Happy now?
homebrew Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I am assuming that with them both pursing therapy together and with him giving it his all in the sex department, she will not longer have the desire or need to do anything that takes it outside of the marriage. She was not honest from the get go on what "does it for her". I also do not think the man provided / fostered an environment where she felt comfortable to be honest and truthful either without be judged or made to feel "dirty". That is what most likely lead to her keeping it under wraps for so long. I would imagine in the beginning "stages" for her, it didn't go to the extremes that she is in now. God can and will help both of you and guide you on the correct course / path to take. At this point, if you both truly want to save the marriage, I think it still can be done. But you both have too "want it"!
Author losttoerotica Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 Thanks all. Sally - I was not aware why you kept asking the religion question, please don't be insulted. I appreciate everyone's comments. Homebrew - great comment - "want" it. Here is the issue I have with all this. Several months ago I asked her to be open with me. tell me if anything was going on. In my mind these interactions she has online with other men are inappropriate. Ultimately what really damaged my emotional connection was the words she used which I may have eluded to - "I was not myself because I thought you would not want me". Since that day I have felt somewhat used. It is not fair, in my opinion, to spring that on a man after a 13 year relationship. Having said all that, I fully accept my role in this. Perhaps her kinkiness has got me apprehensive but she's my wife!!!! I can't bring myself to "rape" her. Regarding the wanting to "save" the marriage......when I read all her posts to other men saying "i love you" or "hi baby" and saying those things to other women - well, it is extremely hurtful. When i first found this facebook profile there were three things that hurt me significantly - 1. She has crossed the line in her interaction with some men. 2. She eluded to having pictures of herself out there. 3. A specific lie she told me. Let me expand on the lie. The weekend before thanksgiving we went to Napa. Fun time. I felt like we were making progress so I asked her if she wanted to go out the following Saturday to watch a movie. We greatly enjoyed doing that in the past. She said fine. (BTW - in napa she kissed two men in front of me...one's she had just met, just the cheek but full kisses, not your "air" kiss). Three days before the movie she came rushing to me saying she wanted to go to a concert and could get tickets. I told her that we had agreed to go to a movie. We had gone to listed to music a few weekends before that and I was really looking forward to watching the film. I said - "we can compromise, one time we do something you like, the next we do something I like". She was disappointed but agreed it made sense. The night of the movie she was totally unattached to me. We went to dinner and she just sat in the booth and sulked. At the movie she texted friends up until it started. A week later when I found the facebook writings, there was a posting on the day we went to watch the movie - "Going to Harry Potter tonight. Would much rather be doing something else. Maybe next time." I know it may sound miniscule but that broke my heart. I asked her if she ever really wanted to watch the movie with me or just "went along". She stated she really wanted to be there. But she wrote that. She's been lying to me about her actions. I'm afraid that even if I bring the sex game this will just feed her desires even more. Ultimately I am not WANTING to end my marriage. I have two wonderful girls. But she has checked out. I'm trying to cling on to something. Every night I ask to spend time together.....and she chooses her computer. I've tried to initiate things and she just lays there. I'm not juvenile or naive. I fully understand there is some amount of accountability by both parties. She's not "evil", but after all the postings I've read and the insults she's thrown my way, it would be quite difficult to even reach that emotional connection that we had before. When I read the "Hi baby" to other men and women. She does not even say those things to me. When she kisses me it feels like I am kissing a corpse. No feelings left whatsover......
homebrew Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 (edited) Let me put it this way... It might better explain what I am trying to say. Let's say a kid goes away to college and smoke weed a couple of times. Let's say the parents find out about it and tell the same kid day in and day out that the kid is a total and complete loser. That the kid is a druggie and has a drug problem that he has no control over. The kid is told by the people who he trusts and love that his life is over and he will never amount to much because now he has a drug problem. Would any of you be surprised if the kid lived up or even surpassed the expectations of the parents? I do not believe so. They are reinforcing what was not a problem to the point that it is now one. In the story with the wife. Based on what the OP said, when his wife was starting down this road of normal run of the mill fantasies, was it the end of the world and a problem. I do not believe so. I suspect, her upbringing, her church and her husband (all of which are suppose to love her and she is suppose to trust) have reinforced her issues that having any sort of run of the mill fantasies was dirty and she was / is a whore. With that in mind, I am not surprised that his wife went from run of the mill fantasies to something far worse. She is mealy living up to or exceeding the exceptions that she feels / has? Is it right? Does it justify her behavior? Do I condone her actions? Heck no! There are deeper seeded issues here that need to be addressed and resolved. Those cannot be done without professional help. Her actions / behavior is just the by product of her deep seeded issues. Make sense to anyone? My advice is to sit down and tell her that you want to get to the bottom of this and will do or spend whatever it cost to do so. Let her know you both need to get professional help! If she is unable or unwilling to do that, then I agree with everyone else. It is a lost cause and she will end up destroying you and affecting your children in a very profound way. I am hopeful that like you, she wants to make this work. Only you know the truth and can answer that. I am ON YOUR SIDE!!!!! I was just trying to help you understand how / why she was thinking, feeling or behaving in that manner. I was going to the deeper issue not concerned about what has happened to this point and how it might have affected you. If God has given you peace about pursing a divorce with her... Who am I to argue with God? However, if you felt lead to give it all you have to try and work through this... then by all means... I would follow the Lord on the matter. All I can do now at this point is keep you, your wife and kids in my prayers. I am throughly sorry that you are having to go through this! I really, really am. I can't imagine how hurt / confused and upset that you must be! Edited December 14, 2010 by homebrew
Author losttoerotica Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 Homebrew - I understand what you are saying. It is the old saying - "don't think of a pink elephant" and the first thing you think of is a pink elephant. Ultimately thought until she realizes this is a problem and gets some help it will not work. We have been to four counseling sessions. During session number two the counselor asked me if I wanted some individual help to deal with my anxiety related to this - "yes" I said. He looked at her and asked the same question and even said that he felt (the counselor) that perhaps she was trying to rediscover herself and should do that in a healthy manner. Her response - "there is nothing wrong with me, this is who I am and who I want to be." She has to realize it. Perhaps my approach has been wrong but this has gone down an extreme path. her picture on her cell phone, which our girls use is one of some dude from a band (lady gaga concert she went to) "pretinding" to grab her breast!!! Our kids see this. She posted it on her regular facebook page and I had to tell her it was insulting to me as our family and friends could see it. Ultimately she took it down. I get she needs help, but until she realizes that all that is happening is I'm detaching and I'm getting more and more worried for our kids at home.
collegeguy_24 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Dude, I feel bad for you, I really do, but your own posts show that nothing short of a shock and awe divorce will get her attention. A divorce can be stopped midway through if the other party is willing to work things out, but she is using you and she knows it, you know it. Its the sad reality, and remember this is more then just you and her. You said so yourself this stuff can have an effect on your kids, the only way to protect them is to kick her out.
bugaha Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I feel bad for you as well....... Dude, I'm an atheist and I wouldn’t consider participating in those “fantasies” because I simply wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. There has to be some major compromise there, and if your wife loved you then she would compromise too. Simple fact is that if you don’t feel comfortable with it, I don’t think it’s your duty to do it just to rock her world and keep her around. I think she made a major mistake not introducing those things in the bedroom in the beginning because things would probably be a lot different. As for the other things she is doing, wouldn’t stand for it. Good luck, hope that whatever happens it’s for the best.
sally4sara Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Thanks all. Sally - I was not aware why you kept asking the religion question, please don't be insulted. I appreciate everyone's comments. Homebrew - great comment - "want" it. Here is the issue I have with all this. Several months ago I asked her to be open with me. tell me if anything was going on. In my mind these interactions she has online with other men are inappropriate. Ultimately what really damaged my emotional connection was the words she used which I may have eluded to - "I was not myself because I thought you would not want me". Since that day I have felt somewhat used. It is not fair, in my opinion, to spring that on a man after a 13 year relationship. Having said all that, I fully accept my role in this. Perhaps her kinkiness has got me apprehensive but she's my wife!!!! I can't bring myself to "rape" her. Regarding the wanting to "save" the marriage......when I read all her posts to other men saying "i love you" or "hi baby" and saying those things to other women - well, it is extremely hurtful. When i first found this facebook profile there were three things that hurt me significantly - 1. She has crossed the line in her interaction with some men. 2. She eluded to having pictures of herself out there. 3. A specific lie she told me. Let me expand on the lie. The weekend before thanksgiving we went to Napa. Fun time. I felt like we were making progress so I asked her if she wanted to go out the following Saturday to watch a movie. We greatly enjoyed doing that in the past. She said fine. (BTW - in napa she kissed two men in front of me...one's she had just met, just the cheek but full kisses, not your "air" kiss). Three days before the movie she came rushing to me saying she wanted to go to a concert and could get tickets. I told her that we had agreed to go to a movie. We had gone to listed to music a few weekends before that and I was really looking forward to watching the film. I said - "we can compromise, one time we do something you like, the next we do something I like". She was disappointed but agreed it made sense. The night of the movie she was totally unattached to me. We went to dinner and she just sat in the booth and sulked. At the movie she texted friends up until it started. A week later when I found the facebook writings, there was a posting on the day we went to watch the movie - "Going to Harry Potter tonight. Would much rather be doing something else. Maybe next time." I know it may sound miniscule but that broke my heart. I asked her if she ever really wanted to watch the movie with me or just "went along". She stated she really wanted to be there. But she wrote that. She's been lying to me about her actions. I'm afraid that even if I bring the sex game this will just feed her desires even more. Ultimately I am not WANTING to end my marriage. I have two wonderful girls. But she has checked out. I'm trying to cling on to something. Every night I ask to spend time together.....and she chooses her computer. I've tried to initiate things and she just lays there. I'm not juvenile or naive. I fully understand there is some amount of accountability by both parties. She's not "evil", but after all the postings I've read and the insults she's thrown my way, it would be quite difficult to even reach that emotional connection that we had before. When I read the "Hi baby" to other men and women. She does not even say those things to me. When she kisses me it feels like I am kissing a corpse. No feelings left whatsover...... Real rape is not asked for or wanted. She doesn't want to really be raped. She wants to play around rough with someone she knows won't really hurt her. If she is (and I don't mean you suspect she has) having sexual relations with others - then compile all evidence you can glean to prove it off the PC she uses. Print out some copies and tell her this is what you're going to use to back you in a divorce. That she is doing things that will ruin a life comprised of 4 people's wants and needs. If she can't value that then you will have to go for sole custody of the kids; the kids she can't keep in mind when making extracurricular choices that can lead to a harmful disruption of their stability and happiness. She married you, took vows of monogamy and now wants to claim she has done nothing wrong and this is just who she is? This is BS and she knows it if you have actual proof that she has been sexually active with others. She can't be righteous in asking for an open marriage if she has already stepped out on the sly. I don't advocate open marriages or poly but I do know that both styles highly value honesty and disclosure. Otherwise its just having an affair. And she vowed in front of everyone to not have an affair. She brought kids into a relationship that she vowed in front of everyone to provide and preserve. Just as she isn't "wrong" to want kinky sex with her husband - you are not "wrong" for not wanting her involved in activities that interfere with the monogamous relationship the two of you agreed to have. Remind her that your marriage isn't just the life the two of you live - it is the life the FOUR of you live and her engaging in things that can destroy that life four people are sharing is the epitome of selfish. That is what is wrong with her right now - not her wanting a bit of kink in her marital bed.
collegeguy_24 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 What you need to do is to go ahead and get the divorce papers dawn up by a attorney and show them to her. Otherwise she will take into account your actions thus far and think you are making an empty threat. The papers can be destroyed if she wants to work things out, but this way she will have no choice but to see that your threats are not empty. Gather as much evidence as possible, it looks like you have access to her computer and her phone. Use them both, when she is in the bath or cooking or something, take her phone and copy all information, forward it if you can as well. For her computer, I suggest getting an external hard drive and backing the whole thing up that way you can go through it later when you have more time on your own computer. Once all information has been gathered, wait till she is out of the house, pack her a suitcase leave it out the door and get the door locks changed. Make it clear you will not be her door mat anymore and she is no longer welcome.
homebrew Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Sounds like you are at peace with what best to do and how to proceed. I think CollegeGuy is onto something... You can start down the path of a divorce... She she gives it her and and seeks professional help and is able to figure it all out and change... You can always stop the process should you choose to do so. Otherwise, like my papa always told me... You can wish in one hand, and crap in the other... Which one do you think is going to fill up first? Again, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. She had to have these deep seated issues (although hidden) before you even met her. There is no way that these just popped up out of nowhere for her to be where she is now. She has some serious daddy issues!
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 if you would be able or willing to satisfy her needs and "rape" her and what not that's fine,but her wanting swinging(basically being f...d by other man i guess) it's not. all these are sexual frustrations that build up during years and years until it explodes and takes and uncontrolled ballistic escapade of sexual relief. this may last a few month up to a years until she gets it out of her system. some people are ok with this,but if you guys aren't on the same page then i suggest you leave her.it's not that she doesn't love you,but those hormonal fireworks are extremely hard to control. maybe you should try to kick her to sleep ,see how that works,lol,just kidding,don't do that
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 i had ex girls who liked spanking,bondage,being called names,talk dirty,hair pulling,whatever,spitting,and other stuff i don't wanna get into. see,i have no problem with that stuff,i like it ,makes me feel like the man in charge and she seems to be a sex slave. but that's just a role play,a game. truth is,the longer the relationships lasted,you get affectionate,build up feelings,the respect towards SO increases,so i wasn't able to do the same things i was doing with them in the beginning. that's why lot of men and women have extra marital affairs because their partners often lose that kink in the relationship which has to do with the respect. i'm just talking from my own experience. i also understand that is not the fact that you can't do those to your wife,it's just the fact that you respect her and that's the reason your not willing to or it feels wrong. i bet if it was another ,strange,new women,you would be able to f...k ,bondage,broom stick her and whatnot in no time,why? because you don't have respect for the new women and you wouldn't care.
michaelhopes Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Use your common sense.... Your wife is not right in the head. I hope you dont think wearing a diaper or anything close to that is normal because your wife wants it. Her behavior will get weirder and weirder and she will meet even weirder people. The next thing that happens is your kids will go missing..... Think about it Dont go down the toilet with her
sally4sara Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 i had ex girls who liked spanking,bondage,being called names,talk dirty,hair pulling,whatever,spitting,and other stuff i don't wanna get into. see,i have no problem with that stuff,i like it ,makes me feel like the man in charge and she seems to be a sex slave. but that's just a role play,a game. truth is,the longer the relationships lasted,you get affectionate,build up feelings,the respect towards SO increases,so i wasn't able to do the same things i was doing with them in the beginning. that's why lot of men and women have extra marital affairs because their partners often lose that kink in the relationship which has to do with the respect. i'm just talking from my own experience. i also understand that is not the fact that you can't do those to your wife,it's just the fact that you respect her and that's the reason your not willing to or it feels wrong. i bet if it was another ,strange,new women,you would be able to f...k ,bondage,broom stick her and whatnot in no time,why? because you don't have respect for the new women and you wouldn't care. Or it could be that after you change (once you respect them) they realize that the kink you shared with them was fun for them but to you - it was treating them like ****. And then they don't want you anymore because you sleep with people you have no respect for and like to treat others like ****.
YellowShark Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Forget all the religion crap, and all the other dirt in the water. The fact that she is doing all this WHILE the kids are in her care shows that her priority is the "kink" and not her own children. That is a HUGE red flag on the play. As a mother her kids should come first, the "kink" should be left behind closed doors, after hours, when the kids aren't in her care. Add that she is telegraphing all this "kink" online to other "kinky" folks could bring undesirable dangerous parties into your life losttoerotica. And that's not the woman you married and not the marriage you signed up for.
Chi townD Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 You say she has gone too far with other men. Just how far is too far? And how do you know about these tryists?
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