mm just out of an affair

[tigers1970]

exactly. but something tells me his ego won't allow that to happen.

you on a roll

[Dexter Morgan]

nice one dude , well done

 

you think its a cheap stab, but it isn't. you would make mention of turning backs on people as an indicator of trust, when you yourself can't be trusted.

[herenow]

you on a roll

 

Can you take one moment to be serious and address your wife and what is best for her and her long term happiness? Do you think living a lie, like she has been, is good for her? Do you think your wife would be OK with the fact that she is married to a man who loves an OW?

[tigers1970]

nothing nice about her if she is screwing someone elses husband.

 

 

 

 

I don't think you will fall for wife all over again. she isn't new to you. the thrill of the conquest is not there. If you had spent any amount of time with the OW if you ever got a divorce, you'd be looking to better deal her in the future too once you got to bored with monogamy.

 

I say spare your wife and get a divorce. She deserves better and she could be using what is left of her short time on this planet looking for someone that won't treat her the way you have.

met wife 20 years ago and was never un faithful til this ... im am not a serial offender and want to be a one woman man so back off with the judgements

[IfWishesWereHorses]

He has already said that it would be a deal breaker to her.

[tigers1970]

Why is the happiness of your wife a joke to you?

it is not!!!

[awkward]

What is keeping you in the marriage? What is stopping you from leaving?

[herenow]

it is not!!!

 

Do you think she deserves to be making her live choices based on lies? You are making a choice that involves another person. The mother of your children. Don't you care enough about her to let her in on the secret?

[tigers1970]

you think its a cheap stab, but it isn't. you would make mention of turning backs on people as an indicator of trust, when you yourself can't be trusted.

sounded sarcastic and bitter to me .. i dont need reminding of my bad behaviour and duty .. i know it ... are you perfect

[tigers1970]

Do you think she deserves to be making her live choices based on lies? You are making a choice that involves another person. The mother of your children. Don't you care enough about her to let her in on the secret?

she will know in time

[miso horny]

Can you take one moment to be serious and address your wife and what is best for her and her long term happiness? Do you think living a lie, like she has been, is good for her? Do you think your wife would be OK with the fact that she is married to a man who loves an OW?

 

I am one that is bowing out on our good friend here. He DOES NOT want to hear ANYTHING that is "pro fixing" his, again, HIS marriage. A marriage that also belongs to his WIFE, but he dosent give one rats ass about that

part of it....

 

There is more than enough advise here for him to look at, but he wont....

 

Good luck! (to your wife and kids that is...)

[woinlove]

met wife 20 years ago and was never un faithful til this ... im am not a serial offender and want to be a one woman man so back off with the judgements

 

well.... start being someone you want to be. Life's too short and precious to waste all this time (it's been 18 months already) being someone you don't want to be. You can start today, tomorrow, next week or next year. It is up to you.

[herenow]

sounded sarcastic and bitter to me .. i dont need reminding of my bad behaviour and duty .. i know it ... are you perfect

 

Bitter? More things that make you go hmm...

 

I think Dexter is perfect just the way he is. You are killing me dude!

[tigers1970]

What is keeping you in the marriage? What is stopping you from leaving?

my kids just now, so close to x mas , money

[herenow]

she will know in time

 

Sure, on your time. But that is selfishly wasting her (your BW's) precious time. Do you not see that?

[tigers1970]

Bitter? More things that make you go hmm...

 

I think Dexter is perfect just the way he is. You are killing me dude!

well he s having a go is nt he..... mabe you know him better ...or is it she ...i dont know ,,, just seems like he or she trying to get me going

[herenow]

well he s having a go is nt he..... mabe you know him better ...or is it she ...i dont know ,,, just seems like he or she trying to get me going

 

Or is it that you just don't like what he is saying?

[tigers1970]

Sure, on your time. But that is selfishly wasting her (your BW's) precious time. Do you not see that?

not going to tell her til after x mas .. have decided that

[tigers1970]

Or is it that you just don't like what he is saying?

no just his tone

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I am one that is bowing out on our good friend here. He DOES NOT want to hear ANYTHING that is "pro fixing" his, again, HIS marriage. A marriage that also belongs to his WIFE, but he dosent give one rats ass about that

part of it....

 

There is more than enough advise here for him to look at, but he wont....

 

Good luck! (to your wife and kids that is...)

 

Good grief! you as well as anyone know that people can't see past the end of their own noses in an affair. He won't listen, you're right. He'll learn the hard way, no reason it should be different for him than anyone else here!

[IfWishesWereHorses]

not going to tell her til after x mas .. have decided that

 

It would be crazy to do otherwise.

[miso horny]

Good grief! you as well as anyone know that people can't see past the end of their own noses in an affair. He won't listen, you're right. He'll learn the hard way, no reason it should be different for him than anyone else here!

 

tough love, baby...

 

I remember when OWL did the same to me.. it hurt miso much

[awkward]

my kids just now, so close to x mas , money

 

Ok so you don't want to hurt your kids, break the family up? Do you think it will get easier if you stay longer? When you're at home with your children, are you there or are you thinking of your OW? I mean are you being the best father you can be when you are at home?

 

Christmas is self-explanatory.

 

Are you working on saving money for your exit? Is the money a huge issue or more an uncomfortable issue?

 

not going to tell her til after x mas .. have decided that

 

So you have a plan. You're going to tell your wife you had an affair and/or that you want a divorce next month?

 

If OW tells you she will not be there for you after you divorce, would you choose then to remain married?

[herenow]

not going to tell her til after x mas .. have decided that

 

OK, will there be some other day of significance that will prevent to from being honest? I can understand waiting until Xmas is over but what about New Years, Valentines Day, St. Patricks Day. etc, etc, etc? How many excuses are you planning to give yourself?

[whichwayisup]

not going to tell her til after x mas .. have decided that

 

So, you've decided then..You are leaving your wife and kids. I am sorry to hear that. To leave without trying, without going to marriage counseling, without giving it your best is a shame. But, the choice is yours. Just know that once you go and are divorced, I hope for your sake you don't end up regretting throwing in the towel so soon.

 

I have mentioned it afew times, i'll say it again. DO counselling. YOu are making HUGE decisions, based on the emotions of what you feel for your OW, not your wife. Big mistake.