American Women: Threatened by Foreign Women?

[zengirl]

Ah, not true. It applies to ANY sort of dating service, including anything like match.com, as long as their "principal business" is connecting Americans with foreigners. There is absolutely no need that such dating site be engaged in the transport or facilitation of anything beyond communication.

 

Well, Match.com would still fail that test -- it's principal business is NOT connecting Americans with foreigners. That was my point. You can mince words about it if you like, but mail order brides has resulted in many issues for these foreign women where they were sold. And selling people should be illegal. Purchasing people should be illegal.

 

Apparently, American men are dangerous for foreign women to know.

"It labels as an International Marriage Broker, any for-profit entity whose principal business is to charge fees for providing dating, matrimonial, matchmaking services, or social referrals between U.S. and foreign national clients by providing personal contact information or otherwise facilitating communication between U.S. and foreign national clients."

 

 

Yes, the law has to be broad to cover bases, since profitable businesses such as this will use what loopholes they can find. This in no way prevents most incidents of foreign marriage. I lived abroad and know many Americans who've married men and women from a host of other countries. There are very few additional hoops -- though most of them relate just to acquiring residency or citizenship (not the marriage itself) and are typical in every country when a foreign national enters.

 

So this is a fun multi-parter. Basically my contention is simply that foreign women are just as smart, capable, and savvy with men as any other gruop of women overall, and are not in any way handicapped. Further, they have all the rights anyone else has in their position in America. IMBRA provides no extra "recourse", it merely makes my meeting a woman online and later marrying her potentially illegal.

 

They are handicapped legally by their foreign status. They are often handicapped by their inability to communicate in English as well, and the fear of being sent back to their country -- and sometimes retribution from the brokers if they are. IMBRA attempts to ensure women are not trafficked through such services. You would likely have no issues meeting someone on Match.com, bring her over, and marrying her.

 

Finally, the phrase "safety in marriage" sounds vaguely like a pile of feminist horsepucky.

 

Every month, mail order brides are brought over to be abused and treated as property. They are essentially treated as slaves. They are traded for money. This is something to avoid.

 

Marrying a foreign national is made no more difficult by IMBRA in most cases, if it is a normal -- not transactional -- marriage.

 

Already covered above, all wrong. It's specifically designed to make marrying a foreigner you met by any means not face to face difficult and is not even close to narrow enough to merely address the red herring human trafficking.

 

That's simply untrue. If you met them on a message board such as this for instance, or even a dating site that is not targeted at linking foreigners with Americans, IMBRA would not apply.

[112233]

Well, Match.com would still fail that test -- it's principal business is NOT connecting Americans with foreigners. That was my point.

 

Explain to me how it's safe for a foreign woman to meet me via match.com and not safe for the same foreign woman to meet me via someplace like dateinasia.com? Because the difference eludes me.

 

 

 

You can mince words about it if you like, but mail order brides has resulted in many issues for these foreign women where they were sold. And selling people should be illegal. Purchasing people should be illegal.

 

So that's great for match, but sucks for an identical service that's run overseas. How is that just? It's not, but that doesn't matter because this law is not about protecting anyone, it's about impeding American men from finding and marrying foreign woman.

 

 

 

 

Yes, the law has to be broad to cover bases, ....

 

That's not an argument.

 

 

 

They are handicapped legally by their foreign status. They are often handicapped by their inability to communicate in English as well, and the fear of being sent back to their country ...

 

Ah, so any foreigner who I meet online, even if she is for instance here on a student VISA or as a tourist should surely be afforded those same protections. Hmmm.

 

Odd that match.com gets a pass introducing me to my Australian girl but if I met her on a foreign dating site we would have to lie about it to avoid running afoul of IMBRA.

[zengirl]

Explain to me how it's safe for a foreign woman to meet me via match.com and not safe for the same foreign woman to meet me via someplace like dateinasia.com? Because the difference eludes me.

 

Is dateinasia.com specifically made to connect foreigners with Americans? Or is it made to connect people across Asia or Asians with people from all countries? There is still a distinction made there. I'm not sure why you don't seem to get it.

 

The sites made specifically to connect foreigners (women, almost always) with Americans are often fronts for human trafficking. As such, they are regulated by IMBRA. This hinders very few legitimate marriages and protects many women from abuse. That is its cause. There are a million other ways men and women can meet and marry foreigners which are not restricted, so you're twisting the law quite a bit, is my point.

 

So that's great for match, but sucks for an identical service that's run overseas. How is that just? It's not, but that doesn't matter because this law is not about protecting anyone, it's about impeding American men from finding and marrying foreign woman.

 

Where the site is run is mostly immaterial to the law, though I suppose it could be put into consideration. That said, a mail order bride site hosted and run in the U.S. would be an issue, whereas a site like Match.com run overseas would not. What the overall purpose of the site is more material.

 

The law is and has always been about protecting women from human trafficking. You have a very warped view of it.

 

Ah, so any foreigner who I meet online, even if she is for instance here on a student VISA or as a tourist should surely be afforded those same protections. Hmmm.

 

If she has managed to enter this country on her own, as a tourist or student, she is not being trafficked. I don't know why this is so difficult for you to wrap your head around.

 

Odd that match.com gets a pass introducing me to my Australian girl but if I met her on a foreign dating site we would have to lie about it to avoid running afoul of IMBRA.

 

Not on a foreign dating site, but on a mail order bride site, yes. There is a difference. It is a shame that brides became commodoties and were trafficked in immoral and illegal ways and put into situations where they were forced into prostitution, abusive marriages, or other consequences of human trafficking, but it happened and still happens, and IMBRA endeavors to prevent it. If that means a few extra hurdles for the rare legitimate couple who bumps against it -- as I said, most foreign marriages don't even bump up against IMBRA at all -- so be it. It protects against much worse. Or endeavors to.

[jlola]

I am foreign. I see nothing wrong with men dating FW. I do not know many AW that haver an issue with that unless it seems to be a fetish. Meaning man will only date woman of ceratin race. I feel much more comfortable dating men who date people they find attractive and not a race or culture. That to me is creepy.

 

That being said, there are some men that go to foreign countries in search of a woman they could not get here.usually poorer,less educated,much younger.

Then they wonder a few years down the line why she is not the "wife" they wished her to be. They think the U.s. has ruined her. Not realizing just like going to her country gave you more options for a wife. Coming to the U.s. can give her more options for a "dream" husband.

 

That beng said I feel a relationship with equal partners makes sense foreign or otherwise. I have a friend who practically has lived in Brazil for past 10 years. He goes there any chance he can and loves the culture,speaks the language. He is mid 40's,has 2 kids and knows he is not perfect. He has just become engaged to a Brazilian woman. She is also in her late 30's and an English teacher who speaks English fluently. She always insist on paying her own airfare when she visits and spoils him. I think he is making a wise choice. They get along very well.

 

Now had he been planning on marryong a 20 something girl,with a poor education who can barely speaks English I would gather people would be a bit puzzled.

[112233]

I am foreign. I see nothing wrong with men dating FW. I do not know many AW that haver an issue with that ...

 

Try being an American man and mentioning that your girlfriend is from Thailand, for example. Thai people, no issue. American men, no issue. Virtually every American woman over 30, some snide comment, either right out or to her friends later.

 

No, I've never had a Thai girlfriend, but I know lots of guys who have and it's always been that way.

[jlola]

I think dating different cultures is great. and the kids are always beautiful.

[zengirl]

Try being an American man and mentioning that your girlfriend is from Thailand, for example. Thai people, no issue. American men, no issue. Virtually every American woman over 30, some snide comment, either right out or to her friends later.

 

No, I've never had a Thai girlfriend, but I know lots of guys who have and it's always been that way.

 

I lived abroad in a country (Korea) where the women are adorable and American men -- and other Western men -- date them frequently. I saw many wonderful, legitimate relationships. A few less with foreign women and Korean men, but still some. And many relationships between American men/women and Western (Brits, Aussies, etc) foreigners. Let love blossom where it will, I say.

 

Sure, sometimes I would make snide comments about the relationships where the fella was obviously using her for sex -- as in, he said so and had no respect for her -- or the Korean girls who had sex with many, many white men and planned to marry a Korean man (They are still "virgins" for the Korean man because sex with foreigners doesn't count, they'd tell me). But that had little to do with their foreign status and mostly to do with the absurdity of such situations. I

 

So, I'll agree with you that anyone making comments about a fella having a Thai girlfriend -- providing he treats her well and like a girlfriend, rather than a foreign sex fetish -- is an idiot. So long as he's not talking about how he purchased his Thai girlfriend or something. Date whomever you like, is what I say. Just don't buy and sell people.

[sally4sara]

I am foreign. I see nothing wrong with men dating FW. I do not know many AW that haver an issue with that unless it seems to be a fetish. Meaning man will only date woman of ceratin race. I feel much more comfortable dating men who date people they find attractive and not a race or culture. That to me is creepy.

 

That being said, there are some men that go to foreign countries in search of a woman they could not get here.usually poorer,less educated,much younger.

Then they wonder a few years down the line why she is not the "wife" they wished her to be. They think the U.s. has ruined her. Not realizing just like going to her country gave you more options for a wife. Coming to the U.s. can give her more options for a "dream" husband.

 

That beng said I feel a relationship with equal partners makes sense foreign or otherwise. I have a friend who practically has lived in Brazil for past 10 years. He goes there any chance he can and loves the culture,speaks the language. He is mid 40's,has 2 kids and knows he is not perfect. He has just become engaged to a Brazilian woman. She is also in her late 30's and an English teacher who speaks English fluently. She always insist on paying her own airfare when she visits and spoils him. I think he is making a wise choice. They get along very well.

 

Now had he been planning on marryong a 20 something girl,with a poor education who can barely speaks English I would gather people would be a bit puzzled.

 

I agree. There is a big difference between going somewhere and that just happens to be where you met someone you have a great connection with - and going somewhere intent to hook someone with a desperate economic situation by waving money in their face because you think they will worship you in gratitude.

[112233]

Is dateinasia.com specifically made to connect foreigners with Americans?

 

"Made for" is the same idiotic argument some gun control advocates use, it's bullsh*t then and bullsh*t now.

 

Moving past that, the law says nothing about made for, try to wrap YOUR head around that. It says "whose principle business IS", a matter of fact and not intent. The vast majority of women on date in asia are in fact looking for western men, and their income is derived from western ad views. Similar paid sites such as blossoms.com actually get most of their direct revenue from western men seeking foreign women.

 

I know in fact that if one says they initially met on DIA when applying for a fiancée VISA it is a huge issue because DIA is not IMBRA compliant. It's happened to guys I know.

 

 

 

Or is it made to connect people across Asia or Asians with people from all countries? There is still a distinction made there. I'm not sure why you don't seem to get it.

 

Because (1) made for doesn't matter and (2) most women there are looking for foreign men. Why don't you get that?

 

 

 

The sites made specifically to connect foreigners (women, almost always) with Americans are often fronts for human trafficking.

 

I'd say they are rarely, but sometimes. Did you know the most common cases of human trafficking are in fact young men for work, usually on farms? But that doesn't enrage the Christian, money grubbing base of most NGOs so it's ignored.

 

 

 

The law is and has always been about protecting women from human trafficking. You have a very warped view of it.

 

Wrong, it's SOLD that way, but still wrong. See below.

 

 

 

If she has managed to enter this country on her own, as a tourist or student, she is not being trafficked. I don't know why this is so difficult for you to wrap your head around.

 

If I meet her on DIA and bring her into America as my fiancée, she's being trafficked then? Really? If my friend, who went and spent 18 months overseas courting his wife of 14 months wants to bring her home, she's being trafficked if they originally met on an non-IMBRA compliant dating service?

 

Face it, there are much more effective ways to combat the supposed mass illegal importation of women into the US than by restricting each individual American mans ability to court a foreign woman. That's not what IMBRA does in any meaningful way. I don't know why this is so difficult for you to wrap your head around.

 

 

 

.... rare legitimate couple ....

 

This speaks volumes about your mindset.

[zengirl]

"Made for" is the same idiotic argument some gun control advocates use, it's bullsh*t then and bullsh*t now.

 

Moving past that, the law says nothing about made for, try to wrap YOUR head around that. It says "whose principle business IS", a matter of fact and not intent. The vast majority of women on date in asia are in fact looking for western men, and their income is derived from western ad views. Similar paid sites such as blossoms.com actually get most of their direct revenue from western men seeking foreign women.

 

I know in fact that if one says they initially met on DIA when applying for a fiancée VISA it is a huge issue because DIA is not IMBRA compliant. It's happened to guys I know.

 

As I said, I didn't know the business of Dating in Asia. I've no idea if it's not IMBRA compliant, but if it's not, then there is a greater chance of predatory activity there than a site like Match.com where the parties are more likely to be attempting to meet as equals. If the majority of women on Date in Asia are looking for Western men, are they also looking for Western men who can provide for them, pay to bring them over, etc. That's where we get into potential trafficking. That's pretty light level trafficking, but it's where it starts.

 

I'd say they are rarely, but sometimes. Did you know the most common cases of human trafficking are in fact young men for work, usually on farms? But that doesn't enrage the Christian, money grubbing base of most NGOs so it's ignored.

 

That's not true. It may be the most common in a particular country, but worldwide, women and children are much more likely to be trafficked than men. Though I am against ALL human trafficking personally and would have no issues passing laws to protect those men as well.

 

If I meet her on DIA and bring her into America as my fiancée, she's being trafficked then? Really? If my friend, who went and spent 18 months overseas courting his wife of 14 months wants to bring her home, she's being trafficked if they originally met on an non-IMBRA compliant dating service?

 

No, she isn't, and they'd likely be able to marry. Perhaps they'd have to provide some documentation, but all foreign marriages -- in every country -- need to do that for reasons of citizenship and public welfare.

 

Face it, there are much more effective ways to combat the supposed mass illegal importation of women into the US than by restricting each individual American mans ability to court a foreign woman. That's not what IMBRA does in any meaningful way. I don't know why this is so difficult for you to wrap your head around.

 

IMBRA rarely restricts an individual American man's ability to court a foreign woman is what I'm saying.

 

This speaks volumes about your mindset.

 

I said the rare legitimate couple bumps up against IMBRA. That is rare. Most foreigner/American marriages will not. So it speaks more about your reading comprehension or particular agenda that you cut my quote in such a way.

[112233]

As I said, I didn't know the business of Dating in Asia. I've no idea if it's not IMBRA compliant, but if it's not,

 

....

 

That's where we get into potential trafficking. That's pretty light level trafficking, but it's where it starts.

 

So we're back to match.com being OK to engage in what you consider trafficking. Marvelous.

 

 

 

That's not true. It may be the most common in a particular country, but worldwide, women and children are much more likely ...

 

That's how the money grubbing NGOs sell it. You missed it too, a common mistake and not hard to see why. In act I used to think the same until I looked into it. Children. There's the rub. Guess what? Young men are considered children, since they are usually 14-17 when they are trafficked. For farm hands and whatnot.

 

 

 

No, she isn't, and they'd likely be able to marry. Perhaps they'd have to provide some documentation, but all foreign marriages -- in every country -- need to do that for reasons of citizenship and public welfare.

 

Of course they can marry, don't be obtuse. The issue is getting his bride into the USA, legally, without running afoul of IMBRA. If they MET on a non-compliant site, they have to lie convincingly or she will be denied her VISA.

 

 

 

IMBRA rarely restricts an individual American man's ability to court a foreign woman is what I'm saying.

 

Of course not, American women don't care so much about that, it's the bringing home of a foreign wife they despise, and not coincidently, that's what IMBRA impedes. The easiest way to meet a foreign woman, is online in a dating site. It so easy, people even use the same method to meet LOCAL people to date.

 

However, if the initial meeting takes place in very specific circumstances, that relationship is essentially tainted, legally speaking. Those circumstances are the same circumstances that would result in an American man marrying an bringing home a foreign wife. Again, not coincidently, that's what IMBRA impedes.

 

 

 

I said the rare legitimate couple bumps up against IMBRA. That is rare.

 

So a lot of people meet in DIA, are you saying their relationships are illegitimate?

[Woggle]

The bigger issues is that many women confuse strength and independence with being abusive and obnoxious and have a heartless attitude towards the men they treat like garbage.

[Untouchable_Fire]

The entire concept that American women as a whole would or could be threatened by "foreign women" ( women from every country on Earth other than America? All of those women? Really?) is a laughable one. I can't imagine the thought process behind such an idea.

 

Laughable to you. You are already married, so what do you care?

 

Fact... of my friends with solid careers.. 6/11 are now currently dating women from other countries.

 

If that trend continues, it will make a huge impact on women under 30.

 

The world is getting smaller and smaller every day. The hey day of treating your man like crap and getting away with it is quickly coming to a close. Those of us with money can go elsewhere and find women with good personalities and values.

 

Women your daughters age can have fun with the poor quality men left over.

 

There is certainly a thriving business involving mail order brides. I've posted before that my brother, a man over 50 years old who has not worked at a steady job in decades and who is emotionally unstable (BPD) managed to purchase an exquisite 25 year old woman from Peru, whom he's married. (He recently received a modest inheritance.) Good for him. And, I hope with all my heart, good for her, her 7 year old son, and their new baby.

He is a lot like many of you guys in his attitude about "American women." I do fear that after a while, his attitude could morph to include Peruvian women or perhaps the entire world of "foreign women."

 

Oh... for a second you actually had me believing that foreign women didn't scare you. Clearly that's just a facade.

 

Sure... every guy who goes for a foreign woman has big issues.

 

Now you can put your thumb back in your mouth and hum away so reality can't sink in.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Laughable to you. You are already married, so what do you care?

 

No, I'm not. I have a manfriend (heh heh, I'm too elderly to have a boyfriend ... and he's no boy).

 

Fact... of my friends with solid careers.. 6/11 are now currently dating women from other countries.

 

If that trend continues, it will make a huge impact on women under 30.

 

The world is getting smaller and smaller every day. The hey day of treating your man like crap and getting away with it is quickly coming to a close. Those of us with money can go elsewhere and find women with good personalities and values.

 

Women your daughters age can have fun with the poor quality men left over.

 

My daughter's boyfriend has a PHD in computer sciences and has tremendous creative position in a start-up company. They have a blast. They are both world travellers. He's 27; she is 23. My life is full of young people and not a single one of the guys is dating a woman from another country, although there's no reason they shouldn't. As I said, I believe that ALL people would benefit from exploring and experiencing people and aspects from many different cultures.

 

Originally Posted by Mme. Chaucer

There is certainly a thriving business involving mail order brides. I've posted before that my brother, a man over 50 years old who has not worked at a steady job in decades and who is emotionally unstable (BPD) managed to purchase an exquisite 25 year old woman from Peru, whom he's married. (He recently received a modest inheritance.) Good for him. And, I hope with all my heart, good for her, her 7 year old son, and their new baby.

He is a lot like many of you guys in his attitude about "American women." I do fear that after a while, his attitude could morph to include Peruvian women or perhaps the entire world of "foreign women."

 

Oh... for a second you actually had me believing that foreign women didn't scare you. Clearly that's just a facade.

 

Huh? Maybe you have my post confused with another. I'm not "scared" of foreign women, or of my brother's young bride. I'm hoping I don't have a reason to be scared for her and her children, though. My brother is a loose cannon and physically abused his first wife. She was American, though, so probably she deserved it.

 

Sure... every guy who goes for a foreign woman has big issues.

 

Huh? Again. Of what do you speak, oh man who quakes in fear of the scary American dame? :D:D:D:D

 

I gave three examples of men who do indeed have big issues and who actively sought out marriage to foreign women. I happen to know other men who married out of the American culture but these people weren't looking for "foreigners" because they had fear based bigotry (like all bigotry is) against American women. In fact, I am going to Marrakech in March to attend a wedding of an American friend to a lovely Moroccan woman. They met while he was working in the Embassy in her country. It's a very romantic story and wonderful relationship.

 

Now you can put your thumb back in your mouth and hum away so reality can't sink in.

 

Sorry, you're delusional.

 

As I said in my earlier post, there are plenty of men who love us American women for being exactly who we are, and why on Earth would any of us bother with guys who were brimming with prejudice and fear of us? Sounds like it would be a miserable proposition! Y'all carry on with your mail order bride efforts. And please, continue to love them when and if they vacate the submissive role you expect them to occupy.

[aerogurl87]

Seriously, another thread on this? Wasn't the first one enough?

[Taramere]

I believe that men who "don't like" American women are not desirable to American women anyway.

 

I don't think they'd be particularly desirable to foreign women either. I'm not American, but when I hear a man ranting about American women I tend to think he's got an emotional problem which he's projecting onto other people. A difficulty in understanding and coping with the complexities and inconsistencies of human nature. It's the classic splitting that children do as a mechanism to defend themselves against the not-so-good aspects of people they rely on and need to trust. Person A is all wrong, everything evil etc. Person B is a paragon of saintliness. I can remember doing this same thing with two of my teachers in Primary school.

 

You see a lot of it on this board. The "good" object is the Foreign woman. Any woman who is identified as an a feminist (if she has an opinion that conflicts with the complainer, that's probably sufficient) is the bad object. The group of "bad objects" has been widened to encompass Western European women too. If the foreign bride improves her English, gets a job and some independence and begins to build a support network (which she would need to do, with her family being so far away) then she's probably going to start finding herself being lumped into that group of "bad objects" along with feminists, American women and Western European women.

 

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?id=9791&cn=353

 

The most primitive of the defense mechanisms are considered to be primitive because they fundamentally rely on blatant misrepresentation or outright ignoring of reality in order to function. These mechanisms flourish in situations (and minds) where emotion trumps reason and impulsivity rules the day. Children use them naturally and normally, but then again, children are by definition emotionally immature and not held to a higher standard as are adults. When adults use these methods on a regular basis, it is an indication that their emotional development is at some level delayed....

 

Splitting; a person cannot stand the thought that someone might have both good and bad aspects, so they polarize their view of that person as someone who is "all good" or "all bad". Any evidence to the contrary is ignored. For example: "My boss is evil", after being let go from work, when in reality, the boss had no choice in the matter and was acting under orders herself. Splitting functions by way of Dissociation, which is an ability people have in varying amounts to be able to wall off certain experiences and not think about them.

[Untouchable_Fire]

No, I'm not. I have a manfriend (heh heh, I'm too elderly to have a boyfriend ... and he's no boy).

 

... bad assumption on my part. My overall point though was that your not on the market so shouldn't care.

 

My daughter's boyfriend has a PHD in computer sciences and has tremendous creative position in a start-up company. They have a blast. They are both world travellers. He's 27; she is 23. My life is full of young people and not a single one of the guys is dating a woman from another country, although there's no reason they shouldn't. As I said, I believe that ALL people would benefit from exploring and experiencing people and aspects from many different cultures.

 

That's great for her. Just keep in mind she is 23. What about the next boyfriend... and the next... and the next... and the next... ect.

 

 

Huh? Maybe you have my post confused with another. I'm not "scared" of foreign women, or of my brother's young bride. I'm hoping I don't have a reason to be scared for her and her children, though. My brother is a loose cannon and physically abused his first wife. She was American, though, so probably she deserved it.

 

You paint all men who date foreign women with the same brush as your brother. Even I don't go that far.

 

Huh? Again. Of what do you speak, oh man who quakes in fear of the scary American dame? :D:D:D:D

 

The only time American women are scary is when they get a lawyer... which is pretty common.

 

Otherwise women in general are not very scary.

 

I gave three examples of men who do indeed have big issues and who actively sought out marriage to foreign women. I happen to know other men who married out of the American culture but these people weren't looking for "foreigners" because they had fear based bigotry (like all bigotry is) against American women. In fact, I am going to Marrakech in March to attend a wedding of an American friend to a lovely Moroccan woman. They met while he was working in the Embassy in her country. It's a very romantic story and wonderful relationship.

 

You like to characterize it as fear because that is something you understand. Fact is it's just a raising of standards. I like many of my friends are tired of the myriad types of immoral bottom feeders this country produces.

 

Were I single and found a quality American woman... I would happily date her. However... I have a better chance of winning the lotto.

 

Sorry, you're delusional.

As I said in my earlier post, there are plenty of men who love us American women for being exactly who we are, and why on Earth would any of us bother with guys who were brimming with prejudice and fear of us? Sounds like it would be a miserable proposition! Y'all carry on with your mail order bride efforts. And please, continue to love them when and if they vacate the submissive role you expect them to occupy.

 

Yes... there are many spineless men to cheat on. They will happily take whatever crap is shoveled at them.

 

Nobody is afraid of American women. I don't like slugs... that doesn't mean I'm afraid of them... I just don't like the slime they produce. Get the difference?

 

I can keep dating good women... you and yours can keep bilking losers for $.

[hoping2heal]

I really don't want this to be a big negative bashfest and ethnicity is a really sensitive topic for many people, so please I don't mean this to be anything but polite.

 

Do you look down on guys who marry women from other cultures? Do you feel threatened by a trend of American men going elsewhere?

 

Also, when you hear men throw out stereotypes of women from other countries... how does that make you feel about those men?

 

With all honesty I'm looking for some thoughts on this topic because in my personal life I've been dating a woman from another culture... and I've had some reactions from people that really upset me. I've had people ignore it and try to set me up with someone else, I was told by a female friend not to be "one of those guys", and I had a male friend try to warn me she might be just out for money and a green card.

 

Honestly I'm kind of frustrated with some of my friends and family and I just don't understand it. When it comes to stereotyping I think the men are worse than the women.

 

I don't feel threatened. Of course, I'm off the market permanently and Mr.hoping2heal is not of American descent . I don't see what there is to be threatened about when not every American woman wants an American man. There are plenty of men to go around. All the women in my family are married to "foreign men" also. We like culture If the American men are going elsewhere, it really is not a problem. A lot of us women are going elsewhere too and that does not have to be a negative thing.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

You paint all men who date foreign women with the same brush as your brother. Even I don't go that far.

 

No, I don't. For the third time, I will explain: I gave you three examples of men I know personally who actively sought foreign brides because of the "badness" of American women. All three of these men are very damaged individuals. No women I know (American or not) would ever be interested in them. And, I am concerned for their wives.

 

I agree with Taramere; men who are looking for "foreign" women because they vilify all 150 million women who are American citizens are likely to have pretty deep emotional problems and are not apt to be good mates for any women from any country.

 

And, I will reiterate again that I love people from other cultures, I have lived in countries other than the US for long periods, I have had LTR's with men from other countries, if I were a man I would have had them with women from other countries. I'm a fan of all that.

 

Were I single and found a quality American woman... I would happily date her. However... I have a better chance of winning the lotto.

 

Yes... there are many spineless men to cheat on. They will happily take whatever crap is shoveled at them.

 

Nobody is afraid of American women. I don't like slugs... that doesn't mean I'm afraid of them... I just don't like the slime they produce. Get the difference?

 

I can keep dating good women... you and yours can keep bilking losers for $.

 

Why don't you stop with the ignorant, insulting, bigoted language. You certainly are not presenting yourself as being of much "quality," I wonder why you feel entitled to sit in judgement of the "quality" of a whole country full of women.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I don't think they'd be particularly desirable to foreign women either. I'm not American, but when I hear a man ranting about American women I tend to think he's got an emotional problem which he's projecting onto other people. A difficulty in understanding and coping with the complexities and inconsistencies of human nature. It's the classic splitting that children do as a mechanism to defend themselves against the not-so-good aspects of people they rely on and need to trust. Person A is all wrong, everything evil etc. Person B is a paragon of saintliness. I can remember doing this same thing with two of my teachers in Primary school.

 

I'd like to hear your exact diagnosis.

 

You see a lot of it on this board. The "good" object is the Foreign woman. Any woman who is identified as an a feminist (if she has an opinion that conflicts with the complainer, that's probably sufficient) is the bad object. The group of "bad objects" has been widened to encompass Western European women too. If the foreign bride improves her English, gets a job and some independence and begins to build a support network (which she would need to do, with her family being so far away) then she's probably going to start finding herself being lumped into that group of "bad objects" along with feminists, American women and Western European women.

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?id=9791&cn=353

 

I love how you start by trying to say all these guys have juvenile coping mechanisms because they say "All American women are X" and "All foreign women are Y".... Then immediately following you do the exact same thing.

 

Not all women from foreign countries are docile footstools... and nor do the men who date/marry them want such a woman.

 

It pretty much proves the point of this thread. Many American women understand that they act like selfish twits, but don't want to have to change because of this overwhelming self involvement. So... these women HAVE to believe that women in other countries would be just as terrible of a person provided she was given material wealth.

 

The truth is that people are made through both nature and nurture... and women in other countries can have both.... while American women just don't tend to have any kind of quality nurture going on.

 

And... of course I'm evil for pointing this out.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Why don't you stop with the ignorant, insulting, bigoted language. You certainly are not presenting yourself as being of much "quality," I wonder why you feel entitled to sit in judgement of the "quality" of a whole country full of women.

 

Maybe I just object to your blatantly xenophobic stereotypes. Maybe back in the 80's there were guys getting mail order brides... but most of the guys I know with foreign women are dating Au Pairs.

 

I'm not capable of judging every woman in this country. Nor do I want to.

 

I've said from day 1 that I don't agree with our culture... I don't agree with how women in this country are raised to think. If I found another culture that was just as odious and nasty as this one.... I would disparage the average woman raised in that as well.

[Taramere]

I'd like to hear your exact diagnosis.

 

 

 

I love how you start by trying to say all these guys have juvenile coping mechanisms because they say "All American women are X" and "All foreign women are Y".... Then immediately following you do the exact same thing.

 

I said "you see a lot of it on this board". You do. That's just a fact, that there are a lot of threads which laud non-Western women while making derogatory comments about American women. If you think that means I'm splitting, you're free to reach that perception.

 

My diagnosis? On you you mean? It wouldn't be a diagnosis, it would be an opinion. That opinion of you, since you'd love to hear it, is that you express yourself like an angry adolescent. You spend lot of time making disrespectful and unpleasant comments about American/Western women on here, yet you seem to get very upset about anything you perceive as being criticism getting levelled in your direction.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Maybe I just object to your blatantly xenophobic stereotypes.

 

I don't care if you choose not to read my posts ... unless you persist in responding to them, in which case I really think you ought to read them first.

 

I am not xenophobic, and I have not stereotyped any people from any other country. You are the one who wants American women to be threatened by foreign women. I have had nothing negative at all to say about ANY women in this thread, or about any nationality of people. I have stated repeatedly that I love exploring other cultures and think it's tremendously enriching to anyone to do so. If a person falls in love with someone from another country, like I did, good for them!

 

Maybe back in the 80's there were guys getting mail order brides

 

Probably, just like there are right now in 2010 - like the 3 guys I wrote about (one of whom got 3 of 'em!)

 

I've said from day 1 that I don't agree with our culture... I don't agree with how women in this country are raised to think. If I found another culture that was just as odious and nasty as this one.... I would disparage the average woman raised in that as well.

 

And I guess you, as a fine product of the U S and A, are redolently odious and nasty yourself. What a catch you must be.

[zengirl]

Maybe I just object to your blatantly xenophobic stereotypes. Maybe back in the 80's there were guys getting mail order brides... but most of the guys I know with foreign women are dating Au Pairs.

 

Are they dating their own au pairs? Because I find dating the nanny (or anyone you employ, particularly in a domestic way) a bit gross. Other than that, the girl has a job, works in this country legally, completely unrelated to the guy. . . Sounds completely legitimate to me.

[Seamless74]

: I gave you three examples of men I know personally who actively sought foreign brides because of the "badness" of American women. All three of these men are very damaged individuals. No women I know (American or not) would ever be interested in them. And, I am concerned for their wives.

 

I find that absolutely amazing that you know 3 people like that... IVe never met one...

 

 

And this is an absolutely ridiculous thread... probably started by a very, very, bitter man...

 

American women are absolutely fine with me, provided you find the right one.