carhill Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Update your wardrobe. That includes shoes. Grooming. Clean, smelling fresh and clean shaven (or trimmed beard). I buzz my head and razor cut the back and sides before going out. It's free Lose the baseball cap Look directly at people and smile. Make eye contact. Adopt open body posture. Practice in the mirror. Imagine someone walking up to you or vice versa. Take an interest in people. Women enjoy friendly men. These are my observations from Denver Int'l Airport, where I'm currenty sitting.
Confusedalways Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I loveee guys that have a passion and are excited to talk about it Really any sort of passion. There's something about a guy who digs an activity/ event/ etc that's just so endearing. +1 on the dressing nicely, too.
laRubiaBonita Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I loveee guys that have a passion and are excited to talk about it Really any sort of passion. There's something about a guy who digs an activity/ event/ etc that's just so endearing. BUT- on that same note..... not everyone wants to talk nonstop about the politics or the NBA, MLB, NHL, NFL, AFL.... etc... so while it is great to have an interest in those things, after 5 minutes or so i am not interested anymore. but, for example, you were to tell me about how much you love the NBA and then proceeded to tell me that you used that love of basketball to teach kids or other people about basketball- then yes, THAT is interesting and i would love to hear more.
tincanman99 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Made some dramatic changes in my life in the last 2 years so I can directly comment on this. 1. Fitness: I lost 45lbs in the last year. I went through a tough time in my life between my career and family and stopped talking care of myself. No exaggeration as I lost the weight, women were talking to me non-stop. Dont let anybody kid you, women dont like couch potato guys. The LOVE fit guys. 2. Clothing: Get some that fits and dont be a slob whatever you do. I found out recently that women in general dont like polo shirts. If you like jeans get some that fit properly. In the words of my female trainer, you have a nice as* why are you hiding it in a sack. Go to Macy's and use their concierge service if they have it in your area. Ask for a woman and have her go shopping with you. Women in general have far better taste in clothing than men. They usually know what works on a guy better than you. And whatever you do dont listen to other men unless they are gay. Straight men are braindead about this stuff. 3. Bathe Daily: I never had a problem with this but women dont like stinky guys. 4. Haircut: Get a good one that the women like. Go to a hair salon that is known for good haircuts and have a woman do it. 5. Conversation Skills: Learn how to have one. If you arent well rounded, well get well rounded. Read the news and current events. It doesnt mean it has to be serious. I used to be shy and introverted but I have come out of my shell. Now I talk to everyone including women. And the women eat it up when you can make conversation about anything especially if you get their attention and are funny.
espec10001 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 $$$. If you don't got the bills, you ain't getting the ladies. Dressing nicely and good hygiene is an indication to the ladies that you got the cash.
Dante311 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Hey buddy.. it's all in how you present yourself... make eye contact.. your posture.. your hygiene... and your ability to articulate. Be confident, not cocky... it'll win a lot of hearts. I have 0 confidence, but I fake it till I make it. And you know what? I am told when I enter a room 8/10 times I have this boldness that is noticeable to people.. that says "He's confident, intelligent, fit, etc"... and I am saying that in a non-conceited manner, but what I'm told. I reiterate it now to prove a point. The one thing I have working in my favor is height + facial symmetry. Those aren't the ONLY determining factors, though.
D-Jam Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 2. Clothing: Get some that fits and dont be a slob whatever you do. I found out recently that women in general dont like polo shirts. If you like jeans get some that fit properly. In the words of my female trainer, you have a nice as* why are you hiding it in a sack. I'm a guy and I can't stand polo shirts. I'll never wear one. I also agree on the jeans thing. Used to wear baggy jeans until I discovered how much boot cut jeans made my legs and butt look better and thus I looked slimmer and more in-fashion. I know I sound like a woman in my words...but even guys need to think "metro" sometimes. Go to Macy's and use their concierge service if they have it in your area. Ask for a woman and have her go shopping with you. Women in general have far better taste in clothing than men. They usually know what works on a guy better than you. And whatever you do dont listen to other men unless they are gay. Straight men are braindead about this stuff. THAT IS SO COOL! I wish I knew that existed. I usually tap on female friends, or now...my girlfriend.
USMCHokie Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Go to Macy's and use their concierge service if they have it in your area. Ask for a woman and have her go shopping with you. Women in general have far better taste in clothing than men. They usually know what works on a guy better than you. And whatever you do dont listen to other men unless they are gay. Straight men are braindead about this stuff. I'm actually going to have to 100% disagree with you here...a well-dressed man will generally know A LOT more about men's fashion and will generally have far better taste than a woman... Dress sense and homosexuality are mutually exclusive.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 ...Straight men are braindead about this stuff... No we're not. Once I got into dressing for success it became a definite matter of self expression. For instance it was very common for guys to wear the light yellow tie with the small patterns on it at the time. I saw one in Century 21 that was like that but the designer splashed in a strip of paisleys into it. At first I thought it was a little loud but I realized it was me. I liked the idea that I was conforming to the yellow tie thing but making my unwillingness to conform show too. I came to believe that that was what the designer was trying to get at with that tie. I didn't have to ask a homo. Here's an old picture of me with an ex wearing it (me wearing the tie). Observe that I'm whispering something nasty to her with my hand on her rump.
alexlakeman Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Funny I read that Polos are a no no, and I dress well most of the time, lol.. When I typically go out the first time with someone, it's for drinks after work, so I'll just wear a shirt that day or sometimes go with my Polo, Jeans, and some casual shoes.. It's worked out for years, as I pretty much wear Polo's 24-7 EXCEPT when I go out at night....but work, weekends , etc.. that's it.. In my case it's hard to get too dressed up to work (which I do like dressing sharp and have the clothing to do so) my office environment is very casual, lol... so I would be over dressed haha.
callingyouuu Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I don't think polos look that awful when on the right person; I think it's just more that so many people can't pull them off, if you're not sure what you're doing it's better just not to try. There's a certain "fit" that needs to work for polos, and in my experience most don't pull it off very well. The degree to which you need to dress nicely really depends upon your age, as well. I'm still in college, and the clothes that set me apart from other people are 2 scarves (average of about 9$ apiece) and a cardigan ($12), and that's pretty much enough. If you're of a younger age, it's not like these things are really special or unique. You just need an instinct about how to put a few inexpensive things together, which is where a second opinion comes in handy. Or a subscription to Esquire. A good place to start would be removing anything that just says "Hollister" or "Fitch" on the front with nothing else. I can't understand how they sell these shirts for $15 a pop.
florence of suburbia Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 It's funny, but over the years we dated and then married, my H. had no interest in having a style of his own. When we met in the early 90s, he was still wearing clothes he'd owned since the late 1970s. Eventually he updated his wardrobe based on my coaching and slowly got rid of stuff. He started using hair gel so he wouldn't have a bowl cut, occasionally trimming his bushy eyebrows, etc. In the last five years or so I've backed off on giving him much, if any, direction on his grooming and wardrobe because I decided it was unhealthy for me to worry about it, and it made me feel too much like his mother to tell him how to dress. Yes, I wanted him to take charge of it like Frisky said, and get me excited by putting some thought into his attire. He never really did, just maintained the status quo. He doesn't seem to connect the dots and see that there could be some relationship between this choice of his, and how I react to him physically. Or if he does, he just thinks it is shallowness on my part.
florence of suburbia Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I do think the stick figure thing could also have complicated issues in his case. Your clothes should be selected to play up your best qualities. If you're too thin or overweight, your choice of clothing plays an even more important part in your overall look. People with delicious bodies can more easily get away with clothes that are just so so.
Author Scottdmw Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 Thanks everybody for the suggestions! Scott
EasyHeart Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Age obviously has a huge impact on what style of clothing you wear. A college kid in a Brooks Brothers suit would look kind of silly, and a 40 year old accountant in an outfit from Hollister would look even sillier. The under-25 (or so) crowd has their own cultural rules that people like me won't even try to understand. And they haven't been around long enough to know that fashion moves through cycles and we aren't required to follow all the fashion trends they try to sell to us (like skinny jeans or that godawful Ed Hardy garbage). There's certainly nothing wrong with polo shirts. My black polo is the most versatile shirt I own. I think the problem is that some men think wearing a polo shirt is "dressing up". It's not; it's a t-shirt with a collar. And I agree with the other posters about taking women along when shopping. Sometimes they can be helpful, but as a man, you don't want to dress like a woman. Women want to send the message that "I spent 6 hours and $2000 to look like this". The key to being a well-dressed man is looking sharp without looking like you're trying. That's why it's so easy to distinguish between well-dressed heterosexual men and well-dressed gay men.
runner Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 i like polo shirts otherwise, interesting thread ... i'm with the 'smile and be open' attitude.
D-Jam Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I'm actually going to have to 100% disagree with you here...a well-dressed man will generally know A LOT more about men's fashion and will generally have far better taste than a woman... Dress sense and homosexuality are mutually exclusive. Right...but how many well-dressed men are out there compared to clueless men? Think of things on the whole.
paperbag111 Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Depends on the polo top, you can actually pull it off. My ex said I looked good in the few polos I had. JUST DON'T POP YOUR COLLAR LIKE A TOOL! (REFER TO LINK) http://thehandsomegent.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/popped-collar.jpg
TaurusTerp Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Right...but how many well-dressed men are out there compared to clueless men? Think of things on the whole. The point Hokie is making, I think, is that finding a gay dude or a woman to dress you is a really stupid idea. Being gay doesn't somehow give you good taste - that's just a stereotype from the media. And women don't know how to dress men. Duh. They can tell you what colors look good and whether a whole outfit looks good, but they're not going to know enough about where to buy things and how things should fit.
TaurusTerp Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 The problem with polo shirts is that you need to be in good shape. A gut will show very obviously in a polo. Also people buy these monstrosities with sleeves down to their elbows. There's no way to make that look good. Here's an old picture of me with an ex wearing it (me wearing the tie). Observe that I'm whispering something nasty to her with my hand on her rump. Dude, that tie is absolutely hideous. Sorry.
USMCHokie Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 The point Hokie is making, I think, is that finding a gay dude or a woman to dress you is a really stupid idea. Being gay doesn't somehow give you good taste - that's just a stereotype from the media. And women don't know how to dress men. Duh. They can tell you what colors look good and whether a whole outfit looks good, but they're not going to know enough about where to buy things and how things should fit. Correct. The problem with polo shirts is that you need to be in good shape. A gut will show very obviously in a polo. Also people buy these monstrosities with sleeves down to their elbows. There's no way to make that look good. And especially in the USA, polo shirts are cut so big, and people generally get shirts that are waaay too big for them...the shoulder seam almost always sits halfway down their arm and it just looks sloppy...also, I like to wear my polos untucked, and they are usually too long in the torso and generally require a tailor to hem the bottom...
D-Jam Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 The point Hokie is making, I think, is that finding a gay dude or a woman to dress you is a really stupid idea. Being gay doesn't somehow give you good taste - that's just a stereotype from the media. And women don't know how to dress men. Duh. They can tell you what colors look good and whether a whole outfit looks good, but they're not going to know enough about where to buy things and how things should fit. I know...but the actual point to getting the concierge is to get someone knowledgeable with you shopping if you are clueless. Doesn't matter if it's a man, woman, straight, or gay. Whenever I help friends out, I simply think about what I think would flatter them and yet make them feel comfortable in their own skin. I take what they like to wear now and simply give it a boost. So if they like jeans, then I push them to try boot cut or skinny even. If they like polos, then I'd at least try to see if they'll wear a jacket or something to accessorize, or try something with some artsy print/design on it. If they like sneakers, then I'll show them things other than the normal gym shoes that are sneakers. Same thing with hair and accessories. I just share what I feel and they're open to accept it or reject it. Lord knows my buddies' girlfriends have thanked me.
threebyfate Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 brush and floss your teeth daily. have fresh breath. cut your finger and toe nails often and NEVER let them be long, dirty or jagged do not have dry crusty heels or elbows - use lotion. use chapstick or lip balm so you don't have crusty, cracked and rough lips. stop wearing tons of cologne, and probably update your scent or discontinue using cologne altogether. Many men's colognes smell cheap and instantly put me off, I find. do not use tons of gel in your hair that makes it look pointy, hard and spiky (I see this all the time) it's very out of fashion and has been as long as Friends has been off the air. Do not tuck tshirts into pants. Do not wear a tucked in shirt without a belt. Do not wear white socks. Start there, as it seems lots of men have problems with basic tasks such as these. Hope I helped!Are these tips for men or women?
Feelin Frisky Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 ...Dude, that tie is absolutely hideous. Sorry. Well, I scored with it. Maybe despite it, maybe because of it. Who cares.
callingyouuu Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 As long as we're on the topic of fashion, it's important to see how your clothes match up with your personality, since people will notice when someone is trying to fit a style that isn't them. No matter what any magazine or supposed fashion guru says, don't try something too crazy if you're not comfortable in it.
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