harmfulsweetz Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 it's b***s like u that make it hard for men and women like me. I realize that is rude to say but i would hate it if someone was with me BS'd me about being in love with me, then had the nerve to say "well i never loved u, i was with you just cuz u loved me." I dont understand. I was never afraid to be alone, most people fear loneliness so they cling to anyone. As a human, we may have many flaws but thank God, playing with someone else's emotions was never and never will be my flaw. You should leave him and NEVER be with someone, unless they give u those butterflies in your belly. It's not fair to the other person and honestly, it's not fair to you. People love so they can be loved in return and they don't give their heart out to find out the love they thought they were receiving was a delusion. Let's not make life more complicated than it should be. It's stressful enough as is. Also, being single won't kill you. Gain independence and be a real woman about this situation. I see what you're saying but at the end of the day, most relationships end because of this very reason. People DO confuse emotions, thinking because someone treats you good you ought to stay, you ought to love them too, it's damn hard when you realize that you don't. Sorry, just thought I ought to put that out there. Also, calling the OP a b**** is a tad far. In all honesty, you know it's over the moment you think about it being over. If you loved the person, the thought of ending it (no matter how tough it gets) wouldn't be entering your mind. I'd always say that ending an R is never easy, sometimes even harder when the guy/girl has done nothing wrong, there's no specific event that made you fall out of love, it's just not there. I was with my ex for 3 years, outwardly he was the ideal guy for me. Everyone thought so-he'd take me out, he'd treat me good, never cheat on me, etc, but it wasn't there for me. There was always something lacking. Afterwards, I saw that he wasn't such a good guy, he was a control freak but did it in subtle ways so that I'd not notice instantly-he belittled me to his family and friends, he didn't respect boundaries. I'm just saying that maybe this guy did do something, something that caused you to feel this way. I'd say end it. Breaks so often do not work because ultimately, it's a last ditch attempt at fixing it, but the clue is in the name-it breaks it. We tried breaks, tried slowing everything down, in the end, the same issues/emotions cropped up it was just a delayed reaction.
Author Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 it's b***s like u that make it hard for men and women like me. I realize that is rude to say but i would hate it if someone was with me BS'd me about being in love with me, then had the nerve to say "well i never loved u, i was with you just cuz u loved me." I dont understand. I was never afraid to be alone, most people fear loneliness so they cling to anyone. As a human, we may have many flaws but thank God, playing with someone else's emotions was never and never will be my flaw. You should leave him and NEVER be with someone, unless they give u those butterflies in your belly. It's not fair to the other person and honestly, it's not fair to you. People love so they can be loved in return and they don't give their heart out to find out the love they thought they were receiving was a delusion. Let's not make life more complicated than it should be. It's stressful enough as is. Also, being single won't kill you. Gain independence and be a real woman about this situation. I was just being honest with my feelings. Sometimes when you get into a relationship, it can be confusing to differentiate between love and lust etc. I didn’t date anyone for a long time, and when he came along. I thought I would give the relationship a try. We did have certain things in common and we got along very well. Things were going pretty okay at the beginning….We bought a house together, we’ve accomplished a lot, but something is missing!!!!! And when I think about, it seemed like we never had it in the beginning. And that’s the truth. I do love him, but am not in love with him anymore. And yes, I tried to stay because I want to make it work. But the sparks are gone…. And I don’t feel the same anymore. I cant help it that I feel this way, I try to tell myself otherwise but… what’s not there is not there. But you are right its not fair for him and me..........
aerogurl87 Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I was just being honest with my feelings. Sometimes when you get into a relationship, it can be confusing to differentiate between love and lust etc. I didn’t date anyone for a long time, and when he came along. I thought I would give the relationship a try. We did have certain things in common and we got along very well. Things were going pretty okay at the beginning….We bought a house together, we’ve accomplished a lot, but something is missing!!!!! And when I think about, it seemed like we never had it in the beginning. And that’s the truth. I do love him, but am not in love with him anymore. And yes, I tried to stay because I want to make it work. But the sparks are gone…. And I don’t feel the same anymore. I cant help it that I feel this way, I try to tell myself otherwise but… what’s not there is not there. But you are right its not fair for him and me.......... Yeah you need to cut your ties. That's how things were with my ex. We got along great, but something was missing. Don't drag out the inevitable, end the relationship because if something is missing, nothing he can do will make everything better. You two just aren't a good fit.
Author Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 Yeah you need to cut your ties. That's how things were with my ex. We got along great, but something was missing. Don't drag out the inevitable, end the relationship because if something is missing, nothing he can do will make everything better. You two just aren't a good fit. Omg! your like the only person who understands me... while everyone else (my fam/frinds) tells me to stay because the grass isnt greener on the other side and that i should just bite my tongue and stay.... Thanks a bunch! you have no idea how much this mean to me..... ... I been listening to the wrong people/the wrong advices... etc.
make me believe Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 In all honesty, you know it's over the moment you think about it being over. If you loved the person, the thought of ending it (no matter how tough it gets) wouldn't be entering your mind. This is exactly what I was going to say. If the relationship is right, even though you may go through hard times, the thought of ending it doesn't cross your mind. I was also with my ex for three years, and as soon as I started thinking about not being with him anymore I knew it was over. Before that, anytime we had a problem I just knew we'd work it out and NOT working it out basically wasn't an option. Then one day.... not working it out WAS an option. And that was pretty much it for me. I slowly started checking out of the relationship. He was doing the same thing at the same time, which made it easier, but I can appreciate what the OP is going through. OP, you need to end this relationship. You can't stay with your BF just because he is a nice guy, treats you well, still loves you, etc. You're not living your life for him or for your friends & family who think he's so great. You're living your life for YOU. He isn't making you happy. Bottom line! Your friends & family aren't the ones who will have to live with someone they don't truly love, so you need to disregard their advice. It will be hard, and it may even seem impossible right now.. but the more you let this drag on, the harder it's going to be to leave.
Ilovehim Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I wasnt trying to be rude at all, and i wasnt saying to stay. All I'm saying is why date someone who you knew deep down you weren't that crazy for? I mean don't you want to be in love with person you're with and have them love you back? You wouldn't like it if someone did this to you. I understand being lonely and giving relationships a chance, I have done that in the past and it was like "Ok he is so nice, cute, I want to be with him" (along the lines i did fall in love though) but i realized that is wrong. you should be with someone who makes you feel that love because it is an amazing feeling and the person you're with should feel the same way. You stated the spark was never really there and that's where the problem is.
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