Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 How do you know when your relationship is really over...? Lets say, you and your partner get along pretty well, but you no longer feel the sparks anymore, and the more you make yourself stay in the relationship... the more depressed you get. The feeling is so overwhelming that you no longer want to get intimate with him anymore. Your so depressed that you dont want to be seen with him anymore. You both talked about it, but he thinks nothing is wrong?? But inside you feel like your dying.... What if, you know that the sparks are gone, and will never returned, no matter how much effort you put into, your feelings are no more..... Some say its could just be hormones imbalance...and that the grass is not always greener on the other side, so how do we know when its really over? And time to move on?
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 You know it's over when you start trying to find ways not to see the other person...
Lemontang Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 When that happens some people go on a break and take time out in the hope that time apart may help reinvigorate that spark. It can sometimes help to reevaluate the relationship but really in most cases it's just the precursor to an actual breakup.
PandorasBox Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 After you have tried everything you can to salvage it. That is of course, if both parties were willing to even try and do that. If no one is willing and there is no spark or point in trying, then yeah its over.
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 When that happens some people go on a break and take time out in the hope that time apart may help reinvigorate that spark. It can sometimes help to reevaluate the relationship but really in most cases it's just the precursor to an actual breakup. Break = breakup. If it ever gets to the point where one or both parties suggests "going on a break," you know it's time to end it and move on...in general, you will only be delaying the inevitable by dragging the relationship out longer than it has to be...
sagetalk Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 How do you know when your relationship is really over...? Lets say, you and your partner get along pretty well, but you no longer feel the sparks anymore, and the more you make yourself stay in the relationship... the more depressed you get. The feeling is so overwhelming that you no longer want to get intimate with him anymore. Your so depressed that you dont want to be seen with him anymore. You both talked about it, but he thinks nothing is wrong?? But inside you feel like your dying.... What if, you know that the sparks are gone, and will never returned, no matter how much effort you put into, your feelings are no more..... Some say its could just be hormones imbalance...and that the grass is not always greener on the other side, so how do we know when its really over? And time to move on? Were these feelings triggered by a specific event (think hard)? Sparks never go away if you are truly in love. If you're dating because you are lonely or just want to be physical with someone, they fade fairly quickly. Women tend to put way too much emphasis on sparks, and men tend to be bad at communicating. That is a recipe for disaster.
Knittress Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I'm not saying it's the case with you, but sometimes people are unhappy about themselves and/or their lives and so they look for a person who'll give them a reason to get up in the morning. This wears off though, and sometimes those people blame their personal unhappiness on their partner, as if the other person was somehow letting them down by failing to distract them from their issues. Might this be you? It's been me at times, I admit it. "Resentment" I've heard is the relationship-killer, for what it's worth.
Surrealist Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Were these feelings triggered by a specific event (think hard)? Sparks never go away if you are truly in love. If you're dating because you are lonely or just want to be physical with someone, they fade fairly quickly. Women tend to put way too much emphasis on sparks, and men tend to be bad at communicating. That is a recipe for disaster. That’s it right there. You were probably never in love in the first place. See the infatuation thread and do a bit of extra research into it. You’ll realise why you get couples who are madly in “love” with each other to only fall apart just weeks or months later.
lovelydemon Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 If some higher authority told you that it is totally ok to leave the relationship and never look back, would you leave? If yes, that's your answer. It took me a very long time to make that decision (to leave my marriage) and Mira Kirshenbaum and her books "Too good to leave, too bad to stay" and "Is he Mr. Right" Helped me a lot, especially the second one. Good luck to you with whatever decision you make i just want to warn you not to spend your whole life deciding (you'll be surprised how many people do). Make a decision and stick with it.
Author Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 You know it's over when you start trying to find ways not to see the other person... I feel exactly like this, but it feels wrong. So I keep telling myself to stay...
Author Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 When that happens some people go on a break and take time out in the hope that time apart may help reinvigorate that spark. It can sometimes help to reevaluate the relationship but really in most cases it's just the precursor to an actual breakup. I think if we were to go on a break, i wont come back anymore. That spark is gone, even when we go on vacation together... or spend time apart....I dont love him anymore but at the same time, i feel its wrong because he is good to me too......
Author Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 After you have tried everything you can to salvage it. That is of course, if both parties were willing to even try and do that. If no one is willing and there is no spark or point in trying, then yeah its over. we've done everything we could... But he see nothing wrong with the relationship.... while i am unhappy all the time....I just dont know how to go... I think
aerogurl87 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I know it's over when I check out the relationship emotionally and start daydreaming about meeting someone new or when I feel like my needs aren't being met, voice concern over it, and then having those concerns ignored.
Author Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 Break = breakup. If it ever gets to the point where one or both parties suggests "going on a break," you know it's time to end it and move on...in general, you will only be delaying the inevitable by dragging the relationship out longer than it has to be... but what if he doesnt see anything wrong and doesnt want to break? I feel guilty if i were to leave him.... but if i weigh out the good and bad, i know for myself, its time to go..............
Author Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 I know it's over when I check out the relationship emotionally and start daydreaming about meeting someone new or when I feel like my needs aren't being met, voice concern over it, and then having those concerns ignored. I feel exactly like this, and its such a horrible feeling. I cant function right anymore, cause my mind is constantly thinking about meeting someone else, and yes, ive spend a great amount of time daydreaming....
aerogurl87 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I think if we were to go on a break, i wont come back anymore. That spark is gone, even when we go on vacation together... or spend time apart....I dont love him anymore but at the same time, i feel its wrong because he is good to me too...... Oh my goodness, that's exactly how I felt about my last ex, although I wasn't really in love as much as I tried to make myself believe I was. I kept saying "oh but he's such a good person and he treats me good" blah blah blah. But you know what? If you don't leave now then you'll just build up resentment against him inside. Yes it will hurt him, but it's better that you find someone you love and let him find someone who will love him, then to stay in a relationship where you're miserable but feel like you owe it to him to stay because he's such a good person.
OceanGirl Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I know it's over when he doesn't respond to my text for 6 hours and I haven't even noticed....
Author Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 Were these feelings triggered by a specific event (think hard)? Sparks never go away if you are truly in love. If you're dating because you are lonely or just want to be physical with someone, they fade fairly quickly. Women tend to put way too much emphasis on sparks, and men tend to be bad at communicating. That is a recipe for disaster. well, as im reading through the replies im trying to see what triggered my emotions and i think I never loved him at the beganing, i know thats evil to say, but he was always there for me... he loved me, and he does everything for me, so i thought this was love...
aerogurl87 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Love&Kisses I'm sure you're probably not in this exact situation as I was, but looking back at one of my previous threads about my ex something stood out to me. But no, emotionally I feel like I'm single now because he has almost severed the emotional ties I was building to him through his lack of communication with me emotionally. Now all that's left to do is to end it or try and work at rebuilding those emotional ties I want and needed from him. I decided to end it, and yes it was hard but in the end it was definitely for the best. About a month after we broke up he called me to talk and I found myself so bored with him. I didn't even want to speak to him after that pretty much, although I still felt bad for breaking up with him because he was a good guy, just not the guy for me. Now I'm not saying break up with your boyfriend, but there's only two real decisions left to make. End it or work to regain that love you feel you've lost. For me working things out was hopeless at that point, but they may not be for you.
Author Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 Love&Kisses I'm sure you're probably not in this exact situation as I was, but looking back at one of my previous threads about my ex something stood out to me. I decided to end it, and yes it was hard but in the end it was definitely for the best. About a month after we broke up he called me to talk and I found myself so bored with him. I didn't even want to speak to him after that pretty much, although I still felt bad for breaking up with him because he was a good guy, just not the guy for me. Now I'm not saying break up with your boyfriend, but there's only two real decisions left to make. End it or work to regain that love you feel you've lost. For me working things out was hopeless at that point, but they may not be for you. Aerogirl, I feel exactly like this... lately i been more distant and I dont want to do much with him. i dont want to be near him, cos it makes me depressed. And i cant make it stop.... Im so ready to leave, because i know he deserve someone to love him, and vice versa. But I just dont know how... I guess...
aerogurl87 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Aerogirl, I feel exactly like this... lately i been more distant and I dont want to do much with him. i dont want to be near him, cos it makes me depressed. And i cant make it stop.... Im so ready to leave, because i know he deserve someone to love him, and vice versa. But I just dont know how... I guess... Well yes it will be hard to leave him I understand, but better to do it sooner rather than later. It took me about 2 months to finally leave my ex. And when I finally did there was alot of crying involved. I even contemplated getting back with him afterward, but with some NC I finally realized I'd done the best thing for both of us.
skydiveaddict Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 How do you know when your relationship is really over...? When they won't contact you anymore
OceanGirl Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 When they won't contact you anymore and then they get a restraining order...
Ilovehim Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 well, as im reading through the replies im trying to see what triggered my emotions and i think I never loved him at the beganing, i know thats evil to say, but he was always there for me... he loved me, and he does everything for me, so i thought this was love... it's b***s like u that make it hard for men and women like me. I realize that is rude to say but i would hate it if someone was with me BS'd me about being in love with me, then had the nerve to say "well i never loved u, i was with you just cuz u loved me." I dont understand. I was never afraid to be alone, most people fear loneliness so they cling to anyone. As a human, we may have many flaws but thank God, playing with someone else's emotions was never and never will be my flaw. You should leave him and NEVER be with someone, unless they give u those butterflies in your belly. It's not fair to the other person and honestly, it's not fair to you. People love so they can be loved in return and they don't give their heart out to find out the love they thought they were receiving was a delusion. Let's not make life more complicated than it should be. It's stressful enough as is. Also, being single won't kill you. Gain independence and be a real woman about this situation.
fltc Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Relationships end in different ways, one of mine ended when she phoned me and invited me to her wedding to some guy I didn't know and didn't know that she knew, although she did once mention that she'd met some guy...... NOTE: Our exclusive relationship was such at the time that I didn't even care, just wished her well and declined the invite.
Recommended Posts