Rorschach Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 So my ex girlfriend of over a year just broke no contact for the first time in months. I haven't contacted her once since we split, I don't care for her at all anymore, she has messaged me a couple times in the past year, I believe for at least a good while she still had feelings for me. Tonight she sent me a message, I'm pretty sure she is high/drunk as this doesn't seem like something she would send if she was fully in control of herself. Basically it says that she cheated on me toward the end of our relationship and felt she needed to get it off her chest, she then goes on to send a second message a few minutes after the first message basically insulting me and saying all these mean things. The last important thing to realize is that she owes me a decent chunk of money (over 500 dollars, which is ALOT for me in my current financial situation, though I don't expect i'll ever see a dime), and I still have a decent amount of her stuff in my closet which she has no plans to pick up as far as I know (she lives 2000 miles away so its not an easy thing to pick up her stuff). I would have thrown away her stuff already but it's sentimental stuff that belonged to her dead mother, so I don't mind holding onto it for at least a bit longer. I understand wanting to get this whole cheating thing off her chest, and I even understand why she insulted me. I'm sure she just felt guilty about cheating and that was her attempt to make herself feel less guilty by making me appear worse. It's immature, but thats one of the reasons we broke up in the first place. I was really close to writing my own nasty reply about problems in the relationship, money owed, and items needing returned. When I figured I'd post here first to see what people think. Also I'm really curious about when/how she cheated anyway, but i've always had a sense of morbid curiosity.
Art_Critic Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I understand wanting to get this whole cheating thing off her chest, and I even understand why she insulted me. I'm sure she just felt guilty about cheating and that was her attempt to make herself feel less guilty by making me appear worse. It's immature, but thats one of the reasons we broke up in the first place. The money is gone and if you reply to her email she then did " get it off her chest ".. if you don't reply she will never know for sure if you read them and she will still feel that guilt.. What she just did was selfish and really sucks.. I know what I would pick to do.... Never ever let her know you got those emails..
AverageJoe Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 How would I respond? I wouldnt. What do you care? Why bother? There is no reason to press the rewind button on your life. Just think of it as the best 500 bucks you ever spent.
Art_Critic Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Her stuff.. if expensive.. mail it back to her.. If cheap.. throw it the eff out dude..
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I understand wanting to get this whole cheating thing off her chest, and I even understand why she insulted me. I'm sure she just felt guilty about cheating and that was her attempt to make herself feel less guilty by making me appear worse. It's immature, but thats one of the reasons we broke up in the first place. I was really close to writing my own nasty reply about problems in the relationship, money owed, and items needing returned. When I figured I'd post here first to see what people think. Also I'm really curious about when/how she cheated anyway, but i've always had a sense of morbid curiosity. I would respond in the most adult way possible. Something like this "I'm sorry you feel that way and are having a hard time getting over this, but I've moved on and unless your attempting pick up your stuff I would appreciate you not contact me."
brainygirl Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I'd mail her her crap with a note informing her that you never wanted to hear from her again. Send it to the post office general delivery if you don't know her actual address, but as long as you have it, she has an excuse.
sanskrit Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 No response whatsoever. I have experienced this exact thing many times in life. Silence is the best response, can't be more emphatic about that. It has eaten at her since you broke up that you have not tried to get her back, she feels she "lost," so is trying to set you up for some power regain on her part. Once you respond, you will be waiting for what she says back, and giving her exactly what she wants. Please don't do this to yourself. Sell her things to get back part of the money she owes you, then forget about her.
LoveLace Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 If you are really, really that curious about the cheating then just ask her. But then all your doing is returning back to a troubled relationship that is supposed to be long gone. So in other words, is your curiosity strong enough to re involve yourself with her? It's not likely that you could call her just to get answers about her cheating and have it end there. That aside, I wouldn't respond and just ship her stuff back. If she continued to message you at this point, just respond enough to say you don't care to discuss anything with her because you've moved on and wish her the best (if you want to, lol).
Art_Critic Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I've moved on and I suggest you do so as well. Please don't contact me again." 9 out of 10 times when someone responds to an email or text with the above phrase all it says is that you still have feelings for them and haven't moved on.. Silence can be deafening...
johan Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Write back and tell her that, "coincidentally, I also had a little fling before the breakup. I guess you weren't the only one thinking things weren't going well. It's nice that we can both admit this and can move on knowing all is forgiven. Good luck."
Art_Critic Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Write back and tell her that, "coincidentally, I also had a little fling before the breakup. I guess you weren't the only one thinking things weren't going well. It's nice that we can both admit this and can move on knowing all is forgiven. Good luck." Evil...
AverageJoe Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 No no no. Do not even bother talking to her. Sigh...if you must. This is what you have to do.
johan Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Write back and tell her that, "coincidentally, I also had a little fling before the breakup. I guess you weren't the only one thinking things weren't going well. It's nice that we can both admit this and can move on knowing all is forgiven. Good luck." "PS: It wouldn't be a bad idea to get tested."
Author Rorschach Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 "PS: It wouldn't be a bad idea to get tested." I laughed. I think I'll just throw her stuff out and call it good.
Citizen Erased Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 "PS: It wouldn't be a bad idea to get tested." I am going to agree with this wise man...
porter218 Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 9 out of 10 times when someone responds to an email or text with the above phrase all it says is that you still have feelings for them and haven't moved on.. Silence can be deafening... I am the absolute Queen of this tactic. Ignore Ignore. Ignore!
porter218 Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 No no no. Do not even bother talking to her. Sigh...if you must. This is what you have to do. :lmao: I couldn't even finish watching the video:laugh:.
Cee Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I say don't respond to her admission to cheating. It's a desperate and disgusting cry for attention that is selfish and extremely hurtful. My ex husband called me 4 months after our separation to tell me he cheated. I had left him b/c he was emotionally unavailable and ignored me, not because I knew about the cheating. He told me about the affair and the terrible mental images of him cheating tortured me for months. Why didn't he leave it be? I was moving on. Then 4 months after that he called me to say he relapsed in his drug recovery and he was using narcotics again. He was sober during our relationship & he implied me leaving him led him to drugs. But I still didn't engage him in conversation. Instead, I went into counseling to deal with why I would marry such a f*ck up in the first place. I also changed my phone number. If I can stay NC through all that drama, then you can too.
Crazy Magnet Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I have a lot of dead Mommy stuff. I would NEVER leave any important dead Mommy stuff in an ex's house for a YEAR. That's just nuts!! What is it anyway? Is there some reason she didn't get it when you broke up? Like she was already living 2000 miles away and hasn't been able to afford to come back yet? Oh, and ignore her. I love the silent treatment. It makes such a statement.
sanskrit Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 This is what you have to do. Hilarious. Did anyone else find the GF in the video extremely homely?
ascendotum Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Write back and tell her that, "coincidentally, I also had a little fling before the breakup. I guess you weren't the only one thinking things weren't going well. It's nice that we can both admit this and can move on knowing all is forgiven. Good luck." I like your style. I'd be tempted to txt something back along these lines, given that it was unbelievably tacky of her to do what she did. Give her stuff away to a charity shop or sell it on ebay/trading post to recoup your $ and don't lose a wink of sleep over it.
Eeyore79 Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 If her stuff is really important, it wouldn't be nice of you to throw it out. Be a decent person and don't sink to her level; mail her stuff to her and don't contact her again.
Author Rorschach Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 I have a lot of dead Mommy stuff. I would NEVER leave any important dead Mommy stuff in an ex's house for a YEAR. That's just nuts!! What is it anyway? Is there some reason she didn't get it when you broke up? Like she was already living 2000 miles away and hasn't been able to afford to come back yet? Oh, and ignore her. I love the silent treatment. It makes such a statement. pictures, dolls, some silver, nothing that is actually worth anything and it's all heavy/cumbersome so that mailing it back would be very expensive, I have at least 4 boxes of stuff, each one would be between 20-30 dollars to mail, I don't have that kind of money.
porter218 Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 pictures, dolls, some silver, nothing that is actually worth anything and it's all heavy/cumbersome so that mailing it back would be very expensive, I have at least 4 boxes of stuff, each one would be between 20-30 dollars to mail, I don't have that kind of money. If you know where she lives drop it on her front step and be done with it. And perhaps if you want to be a little vindictive go the Johan route but leave it in a note at the bottom of a printed out copy of mapquest directions to from her house to the closest free clinic.
sanskrit Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Sell it. No one would leave things of true sentimental value with an ex that long after a breakup unless they were married, and the law in most places entitles you to sell it as setoff against her debt to you.
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