Knittress Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Where have you ladies been all my life Hiding behind a computer screen? LOL
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 So in this day and age, there seems to be only lying, cheating you-know-whats of men and women. I know I am one of the few good women left, but who else feels like there are not many who are willing to commit to just one person? Who has the same principles as they did in the old days? Who believes in taking vows seriously (even if you are just dating)? What are your views, and what do you look for? State your opinions and everything else about this matter here. The idea that you're even putting these thoughts in black and white hints that you some how manage to find drama. It would make a whole lot more sense for you to let yourself believe that there are indeed millions of "good" guys out there. They are looking for you just like you are looking for them. If there is a pattern of bad men in your close proximity then it probably relates to your past and not to an abundance of bad men. There is a reason why most of us will live our entire lives without even so much as knowing someone who ever appears on stage at Jerry Springer. Most of us would even avoid the drama and avoid being in the audience there. Yet there are countless repeat guests on Jerry Springer - because those who live a life of drama tend to repeat that drama. I sense you could use a dose of optimism, but there is no better source for it than from within you. Alter the places you hang out, or let yourself be a bit more engaging in casual conversations in broad daylight with complete strangers. Finally, when you find yourself reeeeeeeeeeeeeally attracted to someone - that's probably the time to go the other way! (fast)
Author lizzy22w Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 One of the "few good women?" I find this critical and ungenerous attitude offputting, even if I generally agree with you. I often suspect that people who think they are more special than everyone else might be somewhat delusional, as people tend to see the world (good or bad) as they themselves are. Knittress who are you talking to? If you are talking to me.. then honestly...around where I am, I have heard over and over men who talk about these women cheating on them and what not and then proceeding to go right back into the same situation over and over again, so yeah...Around here it seems to be a "few". It is kind of funny that you generally agree, and then call me or whoever delusional. It is not a matter of thinking they are special or what not. It is a matter of them making a general observation of what they have seen and heard around them. I am sorry if this upsets you, but it is not a bad thing to finally realize that I (or whoever it is) am actually one of the "good" ones that still has morals, and be proud of myself for that fact. If you are the same, then you should be too!
leftfordead2 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I am at the same point as you are. I am sure there must be some "old fashioned" style men left...I just have not met them! I think far too many people today use the line(s) about not being obligated or owing someone they are dating anything and I don't believe that. I feel I am owed respect and honesty from date one, even if it doesn't go further than date one. I also I am looking for someone that is upfront with how they are feeling about me and the situation. I am sick of the games that are played. It seems as though I either come off as clingy or indifferent. If I let a guy know I am interested =clingy. If I am willing to call him and even set a date up = clingy. If I let a guy initiate most interactions = I am not interested. If I don't wait around for a phone call or have to cancel something for a good reason = I am not interested. I feel way too many people don't treat each person they encounter as an individual and instead have these fast and steady rules on what it means if someone acts a particular way and respond accordingly. Hell, I have no idea how to work the dating scene anymore. It is extremely frustrating at this point and my walls are up. I have a difficult time trusting what I am being told seeing as the last few men I have dated told me what they felt I wanted to hear and in actuality, where not being honest. I always land up finding out the truth. Why waste someone's time? ARGH!! [/rant] Your post reminded me of this guy who wanted to play by the dating rules with me. He asked for my number and said he wanted to call me to chat that night. So I gave it to him and as night came, there was no call and I went around doing my own usual stuff. ( I didn't call him because I had nothing to say to him ) Then two nights later, he called. I asked him if he was busy on the night he said he wanted to call and guess what was his reply? "Well the dating rules state that you must not call a girl within 48hours of getting her number or you'll appear as desperate." A big WTF in my head, is there a book for these dating rules or something?
bac Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 (edited) So in this day and age, there seems to be only lying, cheating you-know-whats of men and women. I know I am one of the few good women left, but who else feels like there are not many who are willing to commit to just one person? Who has the same principles as they did in the old days? Who believes in taking vows seriously (even if you are just dating)? What are your views, and what do you look for? State your opinions and everything else about this matter here. It looks like it is written by a male. Anyway, it depends on where you are looking for your soul mate: bars, online, AFF, church, work, school... Also, it depends on gender, age, person, personal situation...... Of course, most normal females do want to commit and get married, and most males do want to postpone it. And, I do not mean females with bipolar or PDs,19-21, from AFF. Of course, if you are dating online, most males older than 28-30 are multidating and looking only for casual sex. I am sure that most women are looking for a serious relationship online but they end up with casual sex or giving up online dating because they have no other choice. Of course, the majority of people believe in taking vows seriously because they get married and have babies at some point in their life. Look around and you can see that there are plenty of married people with kids. Edited October 3, 2010 by bac
Gattica Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 The truly good ones don't need to promote it. Their actions speak louder than words. First off, letting a guy know you're interested and willing to set up a date does not make you clingy. I'd rather a girl do that than play hard to get and expect me to do everything. But, I do agree with the last part(somewhat). If you expect me to initiate most contacts, I am going to lose interest. I don't need or expect a guy to do most of the initiating. I much prefer that both people take action in that respect. I was saying that it is hard to find a balance and I have played it both ways and I tend to be considered either clingy or not interested. I think people jump to conclusions too quickly instead of giving each other time to find a rhythm with one another when things are new. I spend too much time worrying how someone is going to respond to my actions when I am just trying to convey my interest in them. I don't push myself on anyone, but I will call and will suggest dates, etc and most times do not get a positive response in return. If i then change it up and take a back seat and let the man take the lead...they assume I am no longer interested and lose their interest in me.
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