Kamille Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Whats up with people who are like that? No offense but I know some people who already talk about marriage and stuff after a few weeks of seeing each other. I can only speak for me and not for the guys. The first time it happened, with exex, I moved fast because of my own insecurities. I found it reassuring that exex was really into me. We were also neighbors and within 2 weeks of dating had started sleeping either at his place or mine every night. The second time it happened, with ex, I'm not so sure what happened. We had amazing chemistry and had a great time together and he had said within a month that he felt I was the one for him. We talked kids and marriage. I was freaked out by it all, but still spent every night at his place. I think I feared losing him if I didn't follow along at his rhythm. Not to mention, he kept saying: "Why waste our time? I want to spend the rest of my life with you, we might as well get used to it now". Yeah, that didn't work out. We found out what our own boundaries were while living together and by then it was nearly impossible to find compromises or to negotiate them without landing in major fights. Lesson learned though. The best way to keep someone is by showing that person that you love/care about that person but you make it known to that person that you would rather be with him/her although if you had to you would have no problem living without him/her. ("I love you but I can live without you") Exactly.
waynebrady Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Women who play hard to get are not worth it, they are not relationship material and never will be. If it goes to a relationship the dynamic will still be the same you know. The man will still be the one doing the "chasing" even in a relationship and has to still initiate every contact and put in all the effort. Basicly the man will be alot more into the woman than the woman is into the man. If a woman was really into you she wouldn't play hard to get. Any self respecting man should just move on if a woman is playing hard to get.
waynebrady Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Whats with all the guys who are complaining? If you dont like a woman who plays hard to get, all you have to do is move on. The reason women can play hard to get is because there are always loser guys who keep falling for it and play along like dogs. There is a difference between playing hard to get and being cautious though. Being cautious is good and should be done by both genders. That's not so easy though because the vast majority of all women play hard to get. It's very hard to find a woman who doesn't play games.
waynebrady Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Because that is what a man really want No it isn't. That's just a myth invented by women so you have an excuse to play hard to get. Women absolutley love playing hard to get with a man. By doing that you will get a huge ego boost without actually having to do anything.
EasyHeart Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Personally, I have never encountered a woman who "plays hard to get". I doubt there are very many women who actually do this. I suspect what some of you perceive as women "playing" hard to get are: 1. Women who are hard to get. Most desirable women have full lives and plenty of male attention. If you want to get noticed by them, you have to offer them something that other men can't. 2. Women who aren't interested in you. If she's avoiding you, not calling you, never available for dates, then chances are she's not "playing"; she's just not interested. 3. There may be some women who think they are more desirable if they pretend to not be interested in you. These women are "playing", but part of the game is to show enough interest to keep the man coming back. If she's not showing any interest, she's not "playing". Women who are actually playing hard to get are usually very good at it, and the game can be really fun, so enjoy it.
OpenBook Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Ladies, why do you play hard to get? Because it's a simple and effective way to weed-out the men who aren't really interested. Saves both of us a lot of time and energy.
CLC2008 Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I think men should observe the women they meet in the future and determine whether the women are seeking genuine assurance....or if the women are constantly busy when you ask her out and she does not say yes. If it's the latter, then maybe she is just not interested.
greenwood Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I completely agree with EasyHeart above. What a lot of men think is "playing hard to get" is actually not playing at all. If a woman IS interested in you, she will not play games or anything, mainly because obviously she does not want to come across as a player or as a person who is not being honest etc. She will want to be with you and make herself available. While you wonder why is she playing hard to get, you should realize she just does not want to see you, be with you etc, and this is her way of telling you she is not interested. You should just move on.
Mad Max Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I completely agree with EasyHeart above. What a lot of men think is "playing hard to get" is actually not playing at all. If a woman IS interested in you, she will not play games or anything, mainly because obviously she does not want to come across as a player or as a person who is not being honest etc. She will want to be with you and make herself available. While you wonder why is she playing hard to get, you should realize she just does not want to see you, be with you etc, and this is her way of telling you she is not interested. You should just move on. This. A woman that wants you will make every effort to be around you.
mortensorchid Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Playing hard to get is not necessarily a game, it certainly can be if you let it, but I can tell you the benefits to this situation: 1) Weeding out Interested Parties - If a man likes you and wants to see you, he will call you. If you act busy, they will know that you have a busy schedule and are not sitting by the phone. If the man doesn't call, then he's simply not interested. 2) Guys don't know what they want - I've heard guys say time and again that they like it when women show interest and call them for things. But, I disagree on this point (which are not business related). The minute you show them that you're interested, they loose interest. 3) Weeding out Losers - If a man is a good man, then he will consider your feelings. This includes calling when he says he will call, showing up at the time and place when he said he will show up, and, in general following up. This is a standard. A man who, let's say, arranges to meet on a Saturday someplace earlier in the week and doesn't contact you during the week to confirm that you are on for that weekend doesn't really care about you or your feelings. That's why women should play hard to get. They will weed out the good from the bad this way. Otherwise, you will end up being with a man who doesn't really care about you and is looking for a good time.
Mad Max Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 1) Weeding out Interested Parties - If a man likes you and wants to see you, he will call you. If you act busy, they will know that you have a busy schedule and are not sitting by the phone. If the man doesn't call, then he's simply not interested. If I see a woman that acts and pretends to be busy, I'm moving on. I've done it before and I will find someone that doesn't play the game. 2) Guys don't know what they want - I've heard guys say time and again that they like it when women show interest and call them for things. But, I disagree on this point (which are not business related). The minute you show them that you're interested, they loose interest. Women are the ones that don't know what they want, not men. Women's actions have shown this time and time again. I do like it when a woman shows interest and makes the first move. The last sentence is an excuse for women not to make the first move. 3) Weeding out Losers - If a man is a good man, then he will consider your feelings. This includes calling when he says he will call, showing up at the time and place when he said he will show up, and, in general following up. This is a standard. A man who, let's say, arranges to meet on a Saturday someplace earlier in the week and doesn't contact you during the week to confirm that you are on for that weekend doesn't really care about you or your feelings. Same can be said for a good woman. That's why women should play hard to get. They will weed out the good from the bad this way. Otherwise, you will end up being with a man who doesn't really care about you and is looking for a good time. And the person that will lose out is you. Good men will not bother with women that play hard to get. I don't reward women that play hard to get. Why? Because I'm a good man and I don't let woman have this false sense of power.
sanskrit Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Guys don't know what they want Not going to bother fixing the above, as we all already know exactly how the statement should be changed.
Knittress Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 This. A woman that wants you will make every effort to be around you. Eh.... sorta. Unless she's shy, been badly burned, or heaven forbid - both. In which case she might run for the hills. Maybe the emotional baggage isn't worth the pursuit, but I don't think you can ALWAYS automatically assume disinterest on her part.
Mad Max Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Eh.... sorta. Unless she's shy, been badly burned, or heaven forbid - both. In which case she might run for the hills. Maybe the emotional baggage isn't worth the pursuit, but I don't think you can ALWAYS automatically assume disinterest on her part. Why not? Most women do that with guys. And why should I stick around when someone doesn't show interest?
Knittress Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Why not? Most women do that with guys. And why should I stick around when someone doesn't show interest? Like I said, you might not consider it worth dealing with.
Lovelybird Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 My purpose is to bag a man, not scare them away, so between aggressiveness and passiveness, one has to know the good balance, does this make sense?
waynebrady Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 My purpose is to bag a man, not scare them away, so between aggressiveness and passiveness, one has to know the good balance, does this make sense? If the woman is playing hard to get then there is no balance. It's a one way street. The man is doing everything, initiating everything, putting in all the effort, showing all the intrest... While the woman is passive, does nothing, never calls, never initiates, never puts in any effort, pretends to be busy, plays games, manipulates etc etc. Where's the balance in that? If the woman plays hard to get from the beggining then it will never end, it will be the exact same dynamic when it goes to a relationship and it's only a matter of time before the woman breaks it off. It's not worth the effort to chase a woman who is playing hard to get.
brainygirl Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I think women play hard to get for the same reason men like to wait two or three days before calling them or calling them back. They want to know the other party is interested. Me, if I want to talk to someone, I call them or text them. If I've called or texted and he hasn't bothered to reply in a reasonable amount of time (a day - I know people work or what have you), I figure, eh, not interested and move on. No point in chasing what isn't there.
tami-chan Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Hmmm...I do not think I play hard to get ever...I think that is a waste of time-life is fleeting. I have no problem letting a guy know I find him interesting but will never go after a guy. I think it is enough he knows I find him interesting..next: his move.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I know what boys like I know what guys want I know what boys like I've got what boys like I know what boys like I know what guys want I seen them looking I make them want me I like to tease them they want to touch me I never let them I know what boys like I know what guys want I know what boys like Boys like, boys like me But you you're special (I might let you) You're so much different (I might let you) Ooohh would you like that? (I might let you) I know what boys like I know what guys want I know what boys like I know what's on their minds I know what boys like I know what guys want They talk about me I got my cat moves That so upsets them Zippers and buttons Fun to frustrate them They get so angry Like pouty children Denied their candy I laugh right at them I know what boys like I know what guys want I know what boys like Boys like, boys like me Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah I see your sad now (I will let you) Sorry I teased you (I will let you) This time I mean it (I will let you) Anything you want (You can trust me) I really want to (You can trust me) How would you like it? (You can trust me) SUCKER! hmhmhm I know what boys like I got what guys want I know what boys like Boys like, boys like me Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
Taramere Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 (edited) What is the direct, straight to the point answer? If you like a guy, and you play hard to get, or pretend to be busy, what is the reasoning for it? What is the thought process for acting that way? Arent you supposed to let him know you like him? Why this unwritten rule to prolong the mystery?. While you're calling and calling and failing to get an answer, we are luxuriating in a bubble bath sipping a refreshing glass of vinegar while being watched approvingly by the 17 cats lined alongside our bath tub. As the phone rings and rings, never being answered, we wink conspiratorially at them and they purr their validation of our behaviour. You slighted us. You might not remember exactly what you said, but we recall every word and every nuance - and smirk with twisted vengeance as the phone continues to go unanswered. In trying to figure out exactly how to deal with your unacceptable and boorish behaviour, we switched on the tv and watched as Dr and Dr Our Professional Celebrity Marriage Is Working - Learn From It advised us, from the celebrity couch, to express our hurt openly, honestly and directly while refraining from employing any blaming language. The cats smirked and told us that if we employed the celebrity doctors' approach we would be married within 6 months, they (the cats) would be gone within 8 months... and within 12 months we'd be emoting into a glass of gin while you and your friends eyed up the local talent in the pub and agreed that so long as women are expressing their emotions and men are sniggering about it, all is right with the world. The cats explained that icy passive aggression and planned ignoring accompanied by lots and lots of narcissistic self grooming is cooler and sexier. Which is why men hate it so much. Plus, it's more enjoyable to participate in than is weeping into a glass of cheap cava while the girls shake their head in disgust. Our cats gave us copies of the Rules. There are women who laugh about The Rules. They say things like "I don't have time for games, which is maybe why I don't really get along with other women - except in the sack, where I get on famously with them (me being bisexual and all that). On the whole, though, I'm happier just chilling out with the guys while watching a game of football." "I'm kind of a weirdo" they add in a self deprecating tone. "Like... I have this really direct, no f8cking about attitude that men seem to respect and relate to. I always pay my own way, of course, as I believe in equality and fairness to men. I have my traditional feminine side too though. I cook and clean like a starving immigrant, punish my body like a supermodel, always keep my hair long and lustrous and have worked really hard to overcome my gag reflex. These ladies are VIP Eastern Star, Level Ten Rules Girls who attained that status by special invitation only. You will learn more about their cooking skills and mastery of the gag reflex when they bite off your balls and fry them up for brunch. If you want to avoid all this unpleasantness, wait for the next new moon and then gather together the following: One dozen red roses (representing 12 superpornactress vaginas that you would turn down as you prefer to stick with our own flower. "I like a bit of meat on a woman. Rawr!" you tell us loyally but unconvincingly). One dozen white roses as a mark of loving respect for our refusal to degrade ourselves in any shape or form for you. A fine and rousing rendition, played outside our home and accompanied by skilful fiddle-playing, of "Doh! I'm just a dumb, bewildered beast who is always wrong and always sorry about it." Hope this helps. Best Regards Ladies (all). Edited October 3, 2010 by Taramere
Kamille Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Kafka on the shore anyone? That was hilarious Taramere. What a good read!
Taramere Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Kafka on the shore anyone? That was hilarious Taramere. What a good read! Thanks K. I'm already anticipating a few "it might have been a joke, but there's actually a lot of truth in it and this is how women really think" comments.
dispatch3d Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 the solution, it appears, is to become a cat. Meh kinda hate this thread and the justifications for being ****ty to someone whose trying to date you. It is helpful to see the why's and how's and what's normal whats not etc....
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