Lovelybird Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Unless he asks you for marriage, you should never assume he is attracted, deeply to you.
OceanGirl Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 They could be attracted or looking to get their ego fed. Situational ego feeds have IME the most common dynamics with married people I've had such interactions with. They play a bit, suck some attention and gratification and, perhaps, in a guy's case, get his noodle wet, then it's back home to spousie. Yep, that's what I have observed too.
spiderowl Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 (edited) Sorry, made a mistake and posted in the wrong place. This won't let me delete it without writing stuff .... Edited October 1, 2010 by spiderowl posted in wrong place
Thorgs Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Yes, very few folks are as painfully shy as I just described...but they do exist... So why go to the extreme with your example? Doing that just shows your arrogance on this topic since you seem to be over confident (ironically what SG loves in a man, hmm connection???) and know nothing about being shy. /thread
CLC2008 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Just because someone is shy doesn't mean they are any more insecure then an outgoing personality. They may just be more introverted is all.
CLC2008 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I agree. By the same token a lot of people who come off as very confident on the surface are actually extremely insecure and overcompensating. Not all, but some. That's the stereotypical narcissist mold. I wouldn't go so far as to say, that the majority of confident people are narcissists. My sister is overly confident (she's an attorney, and you absolutely have to be in that profession), but she is no where near narcissistic. But, she is held together by a tight pin. I know the underlying reasons for it, because I grew up with her, and she is my sister so I know her on a closer level. Everyone manages their own insecurities differently. As long as you can find healthy outlets for it, it's all good.
leftfordead2 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 So what if, as a couple, you are placed in a social situation...? Would you not be the slightest bit embarrassed that your shy SO is sitting by himself in the corner sipping on his Apple Martini while you are mingling with others? And perhaps you try to call him over to you, but he shakes his head and gestures a silent "nuh uh"...then you glare at him with a hostile stare until he stands up and awkwardly shuffles over to your group...he's staring at the ground and as you introduce him, his eyes will peek upwards to look at each person...maybe he'll offer a weak handshake his just as fingers...like princesses do...then he'll go back to sipping on his Appletini... But at least he's not chattin' up the other women... Lol that isn't shy, that is anti-social.
CLC2008 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Lol, read my post again. I NEVER said that. I know, I am tired and I caught it after I posted my reply. I went back and edited it though...
harmfulsweetz Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 So what if, as a couple, you are placed in a social situation...? Would you not be the slightest bit embarrassed that your shy SO is sitting by himself in the corner sipping on his Apple Martini while you are mingling with others? And perhaps you try to call him over to you, but he shakes his head and gestures a silent "nuh uh"...then you glare at him with a hostile stare until he stands up and awkwardly shuffles over to your group...he's staring at the ground and as you introduce him, his eyes will peek upwards to look at each person...maybe he'll offer a weak handshake his just as fingers...like princesses do...then he'll go back to sipping on his Appletini... But at least he's not chattin' up the other women... To be honest, that's quite condescending as a post. I don't want to be nasty or anything, just honest because I am painfully shy. And I mean painfully. Am I a retard because I don't volunteer myself for conversations with people I don't know well? The person you described sounds more retarded than shy I'm afraid-and it's an atypical non-shy description of a shy. The thing is, when you're shy, you're often pushed to the side despite the other great qualities you possess-looks, intellect, sense of humor, kindness etc. That happens with me a great deal-it's almost happened with an ex boyfriend-I was shy, he was about to stop dating me, then bam one day I got more comfortable around him and opened up. Point is, most shy people are only shy until they get comfortable around others. They may still be inhibited a bit more, but it does fade even with painfully shy types. Sphere, I'd like to point out that of 60% of gifted children are introverts/shy. Studies show that the higher the IQ the higher the percentage of introverts. Shy people aren't stupid, backwards, at a standstill, dear. They are merely granted a personality trait which sometimes inhibits them, but doesn't prevent them being successful. Eminem is very successful, but he's known as quiet, reserved and introverted off stage. Anyway, back to the OP, I suck at this too-but probably for different reasons. i.e. I often don't think ANY guy is interested, even if he says it so, I don't believe. But from what I've heard and seen, when a guy gets physically close to you when talking, touches your arm, leans in, pupils dilate, looks at your lips a lot when you talk etc.
FryFish Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 I used to be almost painfully shy... Most people assumed I was just a stuck up *******. As far as the OP question goes... If a guy interacts with you in almost any fashion other than one he is being paid to he is interested... It's very simple. But girls make it complicated by thinking (pretending) that the guy wants to be her friend. It really IS this simple. Girls need to quit pretending guys want to be friends...
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 So why go to the extreme with your example? Doing that just shows your arrogance on this topic since you seem to be over confident (ironically what SG loves in a man, hmm connection???) and know nothing about being shy. /thread Mmmm, I don't mean to resurrect a zombie thread, but I just saw this...and the only reason I posted that little "extreme" example with such detail was because that was me way back when...I exhibited every one of those traits when I was younger...so I know plenty about being shy...it was a matter of me pulling my head from out of my ass and realizing that people did want to talk to me and be my friend, so there was no reason for me to avoid others in social situations...
Thorgs Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Mmmm, I don't mean to resurrect a zombie thread, but I just saw this...and the only reason I posted that little "extreme" example with such detail was because that was me way back when...I exhibited every one of those traits when I was younger...so I know plenty about being shy...it was a matter of me pulling my head from out of my ass and realizing that people did want to talk to me and be my friend, so there was no reason for me to avoid others in social situations... Then I apologize.
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