Author Ultra123 Posted October 6, 2010 Author Posted October 6, 2010 (edited) so should i text her tommorow evening with a playful text if she doesnt get back to me tonight or can i send one tonight Edited October 6, 2010 by Ultra123
Author Ultra123 Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 (edited) WednesdaY: so this wednesday i did text her and talked a few txts back and forth. she said she had two tests to study for, i called her a bookworm, was very playful in my texts, not needy at all this time. i asked her out for this weekend. she said shed call me. I told her good luck on her exams, nothing needy. Thursday: no call or txt Friday: no call or text. SO i decide to go out and guess what. I run into her at a bar with her friends. She comes over and hugs me, and asks were my freinds were. I was just there by myslef. I say hi to her friend, and then kinda back out let her have her friend time. I told her "hey i thought you had a few exams" and she said yea she did and that she bombed them. I danced a bit by myslef, talked to a lot of ppl, glanced over to her every once in a while, she was looking every once a while. Then she walked past and rubbed my cheek. Then when she walked by agin, i aksed her if she wanted to grab a shot, to which she said NO. When Heres the kicker....i ended up making out with some other girl, and im hoping she did not see me. It was in her line of sight and she walked past me while the other girl was hugging me. I walked out with the other girl, went ot a diff bar and i fingerbanged the other girl in the corner of the other bar... I then shot the girl which thread this is based on a "i didnt meant to be an idiot tonight" text... I cannot believe i made out with another girl infront of the girl i like. WTF!!! Edited October 9, 2010 by Ultra123
Jeff M Stevens Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Dude...you are in WAY TOO MUCH contact with the girl you like. And if you're having doubts about the girl you like, you're probably OUT. WOMEN HELP YOU WHEN THEY LIKE YOU. If it was George Clooney do you think he'd have any doubts as to whether "she liked him back" or not? I'm not trying to hurt you when I say this but she is perceiving you at the moment as a guy that really likes her, that she can have whenever she wants and if the A-list guy that she really likes dumps her on her head for a Friday night, she'll call on "old reliable" which is you. You need to learn to be more of a challenge and understand that dating women is a LONG PROCESS before you know if you have girlfriend material or not (at least 2 months) Until you change your whole mindset RIGHT NOW, you are forever destined to be in this chase mode that you are now. You have a decision to make my man. Either listen to me and what I'm saying or end up in your 30's and beyond being completely confused as you are now. You'll literally spend hundreds, if not thousands on wasted dates or worse yet, you'll get one of these low interest level women to marry you and then you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. I've seen it too many times before. I see you with your foot on the accelerator going over the cliff and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Man...slam on the breaks and reorient yourself!
Author Ultra123 Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 jeff thanks, best advice ive heard in a while. well my conundrum here is that i made out with another girl infront of her and sent her a "i didnt mean to be an idiot" text later in the night. Im not gonna tell her anything else...ill let her just get a hold..ill keep contact to a minimum.
Jannah Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I don't think you should contact her again if you asked for a second date, and she hasn't responded. If I were interested in someone, I would go on a second date, not brush them off. And, "fingerbanging" another woman in front of her, in a bar nonetheless, is a really gross and tactless attempt at pursuing someone.
Author Ultra123 Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 no i didnt do that in front of her...i kissed another girl infrot of her...i did the other thing elsewhere, i did not want her to see that.
Jeff M Stevens Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Hope you don't think I'm trying to jam you Ultra. I just HATE to see guys pursue women that aren't interested. There are a lot of good women out there that are worth your time but you have to stay out of their faces and get to know them slowly. Jannah is so correct. Look at her...she's an attractive woman (at least from what I can tell from her photo) and she said that if she was into a guy, a 2nd date is no problem. From what I can tell from your story, your woman in question could care less about going out again but is keeping you around for a variety of reasons, none of which are that she actually likes you. Listen to Jannah and learn to go in more slowly....believe me you'll be much better off in the future. You just wasted X number of dollars and a couple weeks on a girl that is going nowhere. Multiply that over a 100 girls and you have a wasted dating life in progress.
Author Ultra123 Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Thanks jeff and jannah (thats arabic for heaven, nice name btw). Its so strange, im not sure what to make of her..i sent her a long "im sorry for last ngh..." txt because she saw me making out with another woman. Maybe this was just a fluke. But Im gonig to follow your advice jeff and when i go out with a woman, just keep contact to a minium..
Jeff M Stevens Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Thanks Ultra....here's your game plan 1. When you find a girl, ask her directly for her number, if she responds with anything but enthusiasm, forget it. 2. Wait 5-9 days to call her. When you do call, ask her out for a Sunday-Thursday night and give her at least 5 days to plan. For example, if you get her number on a Friday, wait until the following Wednesday to call and ask her out for the following Sunday. Say: "Hi, this is Ultra <wait to see if she recognizes you> then ask her out for a specific time on Sunday.........."Hi, I would like to invite you out for Mexican Food on Sunday at 7p." A. You want to see if she remembers you. If she doesn't remember, she's not interested and you don't want her long term B. If she is pissed that you waited so long to call her, she's uptight and structured and you don't want her long term C. You need to give her the respect of 4-5 days lead time so that you know that she can fit it into her schedule If she responds with anything but an enthusiastic yes to that date offer or counter offers ("Ultra, I can't make it on Sunday but how about next Tuesday") then she is not interested and you don't want her. You also do not want to invite her out on the weekend unless she ASKS for it and you'll only consider that 5 dates or so in. You want her thinking that you are seeing other women on the weekends and that she has to fight to get you. Rinse and repeat this for at least 10 dates. You want to see if she gets more and more interested, you want to see if she accepts all your dates or at least counteroffers, you want her to become more and more into you During this time you will SPOON FEED YOURSELF. You will not talk about future dates on date, you will not tell her how much you like her, you will show her a good time by making her laugh and acting like a total gentleman, you will never talk sex, you will let her touch you..DO NOT try to hold her hand or put your arm around her or otherwise get in her space. At the end of the 2nd date, go for the "kiss test" where you try to plant one on her lips. If she turns her head, she is not interested and you don't want her. Kissing should get better as subsequent dates go on. Only kiss her at the door....do not try to paw her in the car or out in the club or anything like that. In the 5-9 days between contact make sure you DISAPPEAR. Do not text her, do not twitter her, do not Facebook her, do not do anything that will interrupt the process. What process? Mystery and Challenge. Most every guy calls within 2 days, most every guys texts and emails her constantly, most every guy tries to paw her and tell her how much they like her, most every guy tries to make her the girlfriend within a few dates. WOMEN RESPOND BETTER WHEN YOU GO IN SLOWLY. You will end dates when they're on a high note....only a few hours for the first few dates and 3-5 hours for subsequent dates. Remember, you could potentially be with this girl for years...you don't need a 10 hour date 2. SPOON FEED YOURSELF. She should think "This Ultra Guy is a lot of fun but I can't figure him out. We go out, have a good time, he makes me laugh but he's not calling all the time, he never talks sex, he's a total gentleman and I don't get to see him as much as I want" Ultra, if a woman is REALLY INTO YOU and she has high integrity, is flexible and self-reliant, she will respond positively to all this (and this is the only type of woman you want). She will start calling you (return her calls within a day) and asking you out (yes, accept it if she asks you out). She needs to ask you to be her boyfriend. She needs to ask you to take her out on Friday and Saturday nights. Remember...women hold the rejection card. We have to approach, we have to ask for the number, we have to plan the date, we have to pick her up. At any time, she can say NO and then were out. By being a CHALLENGE and laying back, you put her in the position that she's not used to. She can't be rejecting you when she's asking you out, right? She can't be rejecting you when she's asking you to be the boyfriend, right? DO NOT give her excessive gifts or compliments. After she is your girlfriend, fiance or wife, then fine, shower her with affection, compliments and romance but until you get her past 10 dates, done everything right and asked to be your girlfriend, then she is a STRANGER and does not deserve a ton of compliments or gifts. Gifts only work on mercenaries. Compliments only work on low self-esteem women. You don't want either type. You can tell her she looks nice when you pick her up, you can tell her you had a fun time when dropping her off. Do not tell her a lot about yourself....keep the conversation focused on her and ask her follow up questions about her responses. REALLY LISTEN and NEVER BRAG. You are James Bond and she is a spy from another country....be pleasant...be polite...be respectful...be a gentleman....but DO NOT GIVE HER INFORMATION ABOUT YOU... Why? Because she will get more interested in you if she finds out about you over time as opposed to you just blurting everything out. Also....NEVER PUT HER DOWN....NO NEGATIVES....DO NOT TALK HEAVY SUBJECTS. You can gently kid her but do not insult her. Also, never stare at other women or her chest. When you're out on a date with her, eyes and conversation focused on her. If you need any follow up, let me know man. If you do what I say above, you'll be ahead of 90% of the guys in the world. I learned all this stuff from my business partner who interviewed over 10,000 women and asked them why they choose to stay with one man versus another. The deal is, there is over 40 years of my partner's life in what I wrote to you above man. If you utilize it, you will never be confused by women as you are now. Good luck
Jannah Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Thanks jeff and jannah (thats arabic for heaven, nice name btw). Its so strange, im not sure what to make of her..i sent her a long "im sorry for last ngh..." txt because she saw me making out with another woman. Maybe this was just a fluke. But Im gonig to follow your advice jeff and when i go out with a woman, just keep contact to a minium.. Yes, that's right. Good call. I don't subscribe to what Jeff posted (members who try to plug their own websites). But I do agree, that when someone is interested, they want to spend time with them. They will want to be physical on the dates, some who are really interested, might even kiss you and want to ravish your body. With that said, it was one date - a first date, so try not to look into so much. I can see why people would think that kissing another person in front of someone might work in some cases, but is that really how you want to get someone to like you, by making out with other people for the sole purpose of making them jealous?
Jeff M Stevens Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Jannah, not for nothing but that was pretty insulting. Go ahead and read through all my posts and ask yourself if I'm personally profiting from anything I'm writing. Do I want people to visit my show page? Yes. Go ahead and visit yourself. You'll find that you can listen free on Friday nights. Yes, I said free. In the meantime, I've been nothing but an asset on these forums in advising people at no cost to them. I put my show link for 2 reasons. 1. Yes, I want a bigger audience for a show I put a lot of effort into. I mean, wouldn't you if you had a show? 2. I want to establish credibility with folks when I am offering advice. I put that link on there so people can see that I know what I'm talking about. But the bottom line? I'm offering a lot of FREE advice on this forum and the only link I have goes to a FREE radio show online. What is the issue with that? I think I've been a great help to folks and they don't have a penny out of their pockets to read what I write AND they don't have to click the link.
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