Ultra123 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Hey all, I had an awesome first date this sunday with a woman. We went to a comedy club and drinks afterward, we held hands between walking and I spent the night at her place we watched tv and then cuddled in her bed. It was honestly a great date. No makeout session or sex, which im ok with cause im looking for a gf...The morning when I left i went in for a kiss and she kissed me back on the lips. The night (monday) when i got home i texted her that i had a great time and i look forward to seeing her again and something about a youtube vid, and she said "haha awesome, i love that person" Today (wednesday) i texted her "hey how crazy is your schedule for the rest of the week" and she hasnt responded... I was wondering when should I send another text describing what I want to do or should I call or what...Its been all day now and she hasnt responded.. one of my buddies told me i should run a txt on friday mentioning something funny about the show we saw and ask her if shes not to busy so i could call. Im literally freaking out lol
welikeincrowds Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Today (wednesday) i texted her "hey how crazy is your schedule for the rest of the week" and she hasnt responded... Oops. Call her tomorrow. Key verb being "call". You know, it's just dating. You can't worry about stuff like "is she gonna respond?" She responds or she doesn't. If she's not interested, someone else will be -- but she probably is. You should assume that she is until she shows you otherwise. And don't plan things over text. There's a million reasons for that, but the most important is that it's just not very practical.
Author Ultra123 Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 thanks welikeincrowds for your response. Im mean she would usually respond immediately expect when she told me one time that she was really busy and took her 5 hours...then she told me once that shed call me...then she never did the next day...and then texted me the day after to apologize.. So i hope shes not playing a game with me, i know our date went really well, we were talking about interests and future date ideas.. Are you sure I should call the next day or should i wait one more day?
L3stat Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 You should call DO NOT TEXT HER, if she does not pick up leave her a brief message don't ramble on and if she does not call you back then just leave it at that....
Author Ultra123 Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 So i called and left a message at 3 pm...no text or call and it is 830 pm...well this is bull...
Author Ultra123 Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 Well she didnt call or text the entire day...wtf...i feel like this is a goner...and she works at my fav bar..now i feel like i cant go there anymore...
Fouts Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Stop stressing. You like her, thinks she feels the same and followed up with her. You did the right thing. If she doesn't get back with you, then it wouldn't have mattered either way would it. Just sit back and see if she contacts you. If not, move on. Who cares if you see her? You didn't do anything stupid or wrong.
Star Gazer Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Good on you for CALLING. I wonder if she was a little confused by the fact that you didn't kiss her. Based on that kind of first date, I would have expected a kiss...
Author Ultra123 Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 star gazer i did kiss her. while cuddlling once..i woke her by whispering "hey" in her ear and gave her a kiss, she returned and smiled and went back to sleep as did I. and then the second time while leaving i kissed her on the lips and she returned, ya so i did kiss her.
Jeff M Stevens Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Hey all, I had an awesome first date this sunday with a woman. We went to a comedy club and drinks afterward, we held hands between walking and I spent the night at her place we watched tv and then cuddled in her bed. It was honestly a great date. No makeout session or sex, which im ok with cause im looking for a gf...The morning when I left i went in for a kiss and she kissed me back on the lips. You gave too much of yourself on the first date. Way too much contact. You need to learn to be more of a challenge. Women fall in love SLOWLY and by rushing in and spending what seems to be over 8 hours with her on the first date is too much too soon. At SOME POINT you might spend that amount of time with a woman but on the first date you need to make her laugh, have a fun time and end it after about 2-3 hours with NO PHYSICAL CONTACT from you (its ok if she touches you by brushing your arm while she laughs or something to that effect). Why? Because every other guy in the world is trying to do what you did on the first date. Guys have been brainwashed to think that they have to prove to the woman how much they like them and to give themselves and reality says that women like to unwrap the relationship slowly. The night (monday) when i got home i texted her that i had a great time and i look forward to seeing her again and something about a youtube vid, and she said "haha awesome, i love that person" Again..too much contact. Women build up interest level in a guy when a good date can simmer in their brains. When you reach out and contact them right away then you interrupt that process. You want to show her an awesome time and then disappear and let her think about how much fun she had with you and anticipate the next date. When you reach out right away you telegraph that you're just another needy guy that she can have. You should have waited at least 5 days to contact her and only to ask for another date. Today (wednesday) i texted her "hey how crazy is your schedule for the rest of the week" and she hasnt responded... She's perceiving this as weak. First of all, call her and ask for a date on a specific day and time. If you are leaving things that open ended, then you are telling her: 1. I have nothing else going on but you so you just let me know when you can see me and then I will bend my schedule to be with you 2. If you do not ask her out on a specific day and time, you won't see what her true interest level is. Interest level is a degree of feelings that a woman has for a guy. Women with high interest level accept dates with no issues and get more and more into us as time goes on. If you give her an open ended "what is your schedule like for the rest of the week" then you never see what her true interest level is. I ask them out for a specific day and time (I always give them enough time to fit me into their schedule...I will ask for 4-5 days in advance) and then see what their response is. If its an enthusiastic "sure I can make it" or "I can't make it that day and time but I can make it this day and time" then I know I have a woman with high interest level. If I get an excuse or no counter offer then I know I have a woman with low interest level and its NEXT. Again, women fall in love slowly. I don't count anything until there are 10 dates with her. Until then, she is just a stranger and I'm evaluating her interest level, integrity, giving nature, flexible personality and more during that time. I won't commit to a woman that doesn't have those traits. The good news is, there are plenty of women like that out there. I was wondering when should I send another text describing what I want to do or should I call or what...Its been all day now and she hasnt responded.. Its no wonder. Whatever interest level she might have had is plummeting because you're acting like every other guy that likes her. Men rush into rejection. one of my buddies told me i should run a txt on friday mentioning something funny about the show we saw and ask her if shes not to busy so i could call. Im literally freaking out lol I would wait until Sunday and just call her and ask her out for next Thursday. If she doesn't answer and doesn't call you back or doesn't make it easy for you to see her again then toss her number. Remember this....WOMEN HELP YOU WHEN THEY LIKE YOU Good luck man
Author Ultra123 Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 well i had called and left a message thursday afternoon...its now saturday night....i dont understand....we had a realllly great time, and this is so weird..every date i have ever been on the girl usually tells me something if its not working out or whatever reason..but this no contact thing is really really weird.. And thanks jeff for your analysis, im taking away the contact and hopefully she misses me and realizes what an awesome time i had with her and will come to her senses...but shes a girl and they are all crazy..
PhillyDude Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 To me it sounds kind of FRUITY to be in bed with a girl and not make out but just CUDDLE-lol Maybe she was expecting you to make a move and not just cuddle. I mean why else would you be in her bed??
alexlakeman Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I am surprised only 1-2 others mentioned the issue of being in bed and NOTHING happened... Women like a guy to be the aggressor , even if she ends up stopping you, lol.. Come on, you're at a woman's home...end up in HER bedroom, in HER bed, SLEEP all night... ahh, she wrote you off the minute you turned around to sleep and didn't make a move on her, not even making out? Not even touching? She thinks you're queer, lol... Move on, you are not dominant enough for her if you didn't try to make a move... Plus go back to the bar, wtf... just keep in mind that while she's talking to her friends, patrons, or coworkers and pointing at you, she might be saying "I took that guy to my apartment, to my bed, and he didn't even try to make a move on me...I was so horny I would've f;cked him that night"...
PhillyDude Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I am surprised only 1-2 others mentioned the issue of being in bed and NOTHING happened... Women like a guy to be the aggressor , even if she ends up stopping you, lol.. Come on, you're at a woman's home...end up in HER bedroom, in HER bed, SLEEP all night... ahh, she wrote you off the minute you turned around to sleep and didn't make a move on her, not even making out? Not even touching? She thinks you're queer, lol... Move on, you are not dominant enough for her if you didn't try to make a move... Plus go back to the bar, wtf... just keep in mind that while she's talking to her friends, patrons, or coworkers and pointing at you, she might be saying "I took that guy to my apartment, to my bed, and he didn't even try to make a move on me...I was so horny I would've f;cked him that night"... Exactly, he was in her bed for a reason-lol And then he said he text her saying he had a great time. The girl probably was like-"we didn't do anyhing" LOL
alexlakeman Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 BTW, I have been in a similar situation... I went out on a first date...(actually 2-3 times), at the end of the night the girl said she didn't want to go home, she wanted to spend the night with me but nothing was going to happen... We had already been making out, etc... I said "fine", rented a hotel room on the beach, she changed got to bed, I jumped in bed, I definitely tried to make a move, and it wasn't happening...I stop when she says stop (gray area, as "no" means "yes" sometimes, lol... thread lightly) .... we ended up having sex in the a.m... obviously I tried again in the a.m. If I would've listened to her, my Return On Investment (ROI) would've been negative with the expense of the hotel, ...
alexlakeman Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Exactly, he was in her bed for a reason-lol And then he said he text her saying he had a great time. The girl probably was like-"we didn't do anyhing" LOL LOL, of course... they "cuddled" :lmao::lmao::rolleyes::rolleyes:
mortensorchid Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Any response on this? Whatever did or didn't happen in that bedroom isn't really the point here. Did you two ever reconnect for another get together?
PhillyDude Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Any response on this? Whatever did or didn't happen in that bedroom isn't really the point here. Did you two ever reconnect for another get together? There won't be any reconnection because there was no connection in the bed
Author Ultra123 Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 Actually I did make a move. Once on the couch..she didn't respond. Then in the bed I did wake her and kiss her but then she turned after the kiss. I rubbed her back under her shirt felt part of her underwear and kept running my hand on her lower back. But she wouldn't wake up damnit and return the moves.
PhillyDude Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Actually I did make a move. Once on the couch..she didn't respond. Then in the bed I did wake her and kiss her but then she turned after the kiss. I rubbed her back under her shirt felt part of her underwear and kept running my hand on her lower back. But she wouldn't wake up damnit and return the moves. If she was sleep that means she was already turned off-lol You shouldn't have to wake anyone up to make out. Well I guess all you can do is move on
Author Ultra123 Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 Thanks Philly guy..I mean I did make moves and all..so I wasant a pussy in the bed...what can you do...I'm from Philly to btw lol
alexlakeman Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Actually I did make a move. Once on the couch..she didn't respond. Then in the bed I did wake her and kiss her but then she turned after the kiss. I rubbed her back under her shirt felt part of her underwear and kept running my hand on her lower back. But she wouldn't wake up damnit and return the moves. LOL, she was SLEEPING already.. you bored her... hello!?!?!?!? LOL... imagine being asleep and someone sticking their tongue in your mouth to "make out" ... lol... You could've at east undressed her, taken the panties off, started kissing her body while she was asleep, started eating her.. I GUARANTEE you she would've woken up with pleasure.. but you let her fall asleep.. she got bored, lol... you should practice on some fatties or uglies, and that way you are ready with the next hottie... You definitely lost it here... and you will be the talk of the bar, lol...
Author Ultra123 Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 So alexaman you just hanging out on a saturday night to read my posts and make fun
Author Ultra123 Posted October 6, 2010 Author Posted October 6, 2010 so heres the update: Monday: me: hey have you heard of ... her: hey!! sorry bout not getting back at you last week, i was out of town me: oh no thats totally fine lol. hope you had fun with family. you gonna be busy. lemme call you in a bit her: i have class till 8 me: tell your professors you know everything and bounce lol. cool ill call you after her: haha okk call at 830, no pickup her: im in teh center, then work from 9-2 =/ me: you want me to call later or you call me back when your free. her: yeh, hopefull ill get outa work earlier if not ill call you tommorow, what times good for you? me: ya thats fine. im gonna be in lib some of the day, so after 4 is fine her: okkayy Me nothing after this.. Tuesday: no call wednesday: no txt from her..
ezrajames Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 You weren't scarce and playful enough. You put yourself into cuddly boyfriend zone way too quickly, and it wasn't warranted. That first date is to show you're a cool guy, who is a challenge. I think going to the bed in the first place if you didn't plan on a makeout session, was a mistake.
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